Time To Get Serious Before It's To Late

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by dig deep, Aug 6, 2017.

  1. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Hey, dig deep. What's going on, brother? I reread your first post and it sounds like you know how to occupy your time well. You do interesting things like go to museums, bike rides, hikes, etc. Have you had any thoughts about dating?
     
  2. dig deep

    dig deep must stop wasting my life on porn

    Howdy Saville, since my relapse on Sunday I've been feeling pretty good bit more energy and alertness.As with dating it is something I think about and ultimately I want a relationship but I want to be P free for a time mostly until I'am free of brain fog and fatigue more energetic,but if I met a woman by chance say in the supermarket (you never know I might get lucky like Bobo remember him)I'd take that chance.
     
    Libertad and Saville like this.
  3. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I wonder what happened to him? I was a bit worried about him, because he was with a very young, super hot, woman and I think she had sex-pectations. He said he didn't feel anything in his crotch area and so it was probably a case of too much, too soon.

    Great job getting back on the wagon!
     
    dig deep likes this.
  4. dig deep

    dig deep must stop wasting my life on porn

    First week done,felt much better last week much more calm and social wanting to talk but still a little tiredness so I hope for more of the same this week.Weekend was good also, Saturday went to watch my team in a away game so was out most of the day and again chatting with people at the game of all different ages.Sunday was productive with house hold chores in the morning and after lunch two hours in the garden and all done slowly which meant I did things properly and didn't wear myself out,then in the late afternoon I went on a two hour bike ride,then dinner ,bit of tv then bed.
    One thing I did was cut right back on the internet so no aimless surfing which gives me lots of time to be productive and be active:) when you have the time you can slow down and get things done, I also like to put my earphones in and listen to music or sport podcasts or motivation speeches when doing the cleaning and with more time you get the little things done like cutting my toe nails before they put holes in my socks or eating slowly and chewing my food properly which is important for digestive health.
     
    Living, Libertad and Saville like this.
  5. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Yep and yep! It's amazing how something simple like a bit of personal hygiene becomes a chore. I even shine my shoes now, which is something I never bothered with. We take care of the little stuff and it adds up. I'm jealous of your bike rides. I need to get me some of that.
     
    dig deep and Libertad like this.
  6. dig deep

    dig deep must stop wasting my life on porn

    When I was PMOing every day I would notice the little things that needed to be done but wouldn't do anything about it until it really had to be done because my mind and thoughts was about sex and porn even unconsciously I guess that is procrastination the action of delaying something but now I'm taking action in doing things choirs,gardening,putting clothes away straight away etc I think less of porn and sex the procrastination is less and I think this can only get better as I get more mental energy.
    The cycling I'm enjoying now I started it again last October after 3 years of not doing it but this time I'm enjoying it more because I'm not trying to do it as fast as I can just meandering along beautiful country lanes,it's not about fitness it's about doing.
     
    Living and Saville like this.
  7. Living

    Living Active Member

    Yes! To me this is the important difference between 'I don't want to watch porn, therefore I keep myself busy' and 'I want to keep myself busy (with things I value), and therefore I don't watch porn'. Might be a subtle difference, but it's an important one. Keep working on the things you value (even if you don't particularly like the choirs) and there will no longer be a reason to watch porn:)
     
    dig deep and Libertad like this.
  8. Living

    Living Active Member

    Because of this post I actually clipped my toe nails this morning. It's not like they really long and poking through my socks, but I was just noticing them, was reminded of what you wrote about getting the little things done and decided that it wouldn't hurt to give them a clipping:)
     
    dig deep likes this.
  9. dig deep

    dig deep must stop wasting my life on porn

    Haha cheers Living ,it's more about keeping on top of all the small things before they become big things so it keeps life simpler and so you don't feel like things are getting on top of you and a sense of accomplishment and you reduce your stress so hopefully less likely to PMO.
     
  10. dig deep

    dig deep must stop wasting my life on porn

    Another weekend done but I did mo once,because the weather been so much better I have hardly been on the computer just watching a few youtube videos getting hints on gardening and on this website reading other warriors journals,so the less I'm on the computer the less chance I'll be tempted to look at things I should not.
    Reading Squires journal got me thinking about getting rid of my counter which I will do soon because after about 30 days it doesn't matter what day your on as long as it's a porn free day, it is more about action and improving ones self,for example in the first week I even count the hours but after a week I don't need to.
    I have now installed Qustodio parental control on my phone as well as blocking porn site I have also block social media especially twitter,not only is twitter full of porn but is full people criticising everything and being offended by everything it's such a negative website, so for me it is best to be avoided.
     
    Living likes this.
  11. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Great job installing the controls on your phone. Like your picture says "if it's important to you, you will find a way...." I can definitely tell that you are serious about recovery and that is exciting, my friend. :)

    I agree that twitter is a log of shit floating on a river of pus and bile. :D Facebook isn't far behind. This year I'm going to rid myself of fb, altogether. I only keep it so my kids can send me stuff, but they can do that over email.
     
    dig deep likes this.
  12. dig deep

    dig deep must stop wasting my life on porn

    still going ,been busy this weekend and that really helps,though I did have a tiny slip on Saturday evening but I have come through it, what happen was the porn blocking stopped working and my phone and I did look at porn for no more than 5 minutes:( but I didn't touch myself and the porn didn't get me triggered then I stopped and had talk with myself (prefrontal cortex has started working:D) I said to myself if I carry on watching I'll go right down the porn pit have a bad nights sleep and ruin Sunday and my streak or stop now and fix the porn blocker which is what I did:)
     
    Libertad likes this.
  13. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Victory!! Woo Hoo! :D
     
    dig deep likes this.
  14. Squire

    Squire Well-Known Member

    That is great! It is very difficult to turn back once those old routines start running and we get so far down the old path. You have an awesome streak going! Congratulations on reaching 3 weeks!
     
    Saville and dig deep like this.
  15. dig deep

    dig deep must stop wasting my life on porn

    Feeling ok I'm thinking about sex less and hardly checking out women so I could be entering a flatline line or 3 weeks of no porn is lessening my obsession with sex.
    At work yesterday I had a chat with a young lad who is 23 years old (has a GF and lives with his parents) took the micky out of me cause I go to bed at 11pm and like to read,so I ask him what time he goes to bed and he said about 1 in the morning so I asked what he does to stay up that late and he told me he watches porn,so I told he shouldn't and when he ask why I said"if you watch porn you wont be able to have sex with real women" he replied "he has no problem getting it up for his GF when he see's her at the weekend",he then felt awkward and walk away,I hope for his sake he will think about what I said.I think the government and schools need to tell the youngsters the harm and consequences of watching too much porn,like they do with smoking,alcohol and sugar even though that doesn't stop people at least they know the dangers and warning signs and can change if they want.
     
    Saville, Squire and Libertad like this.
  16. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    It is, without a doubt, the new scourge on the human landscape. You did a good turn telling him about P. Of course, like most people who watch it they think they are doing something harmless. There is NO way in hell he is having a good sex life, because P doesn't allow that. PMO and taking a real woman to bed, as we all know, are not compatible.

    I read an article the other day that said, and I'm going off recollection here, that a recent survey showed that 88% of adult males had watched P at least on in the month. What really surprised me was that 73% of adult women did the same. There was a percentage of couples that watched P together, but I can't recall the number. Anyone who thinks P is not a problem is, well, to put it nicely, fucked!

    If someone told you that they were an alcoholic, but hadn't had a drink for 10 years, you'd think that was awesome. If someone told you that same thing about P you'd think that underneath their pleasant veneer they were deviants, just waiting to do all manner of horrors. Governments have always loved a passive populace and there are no more passive people than those who are watching porn.
     
    dig deep likes this.
  17. dig deep

    dig deep must stop wasting my life on porn

    Relapsed this morning after 25 days,it was looking at porn on my phone the relapse lasted about 30 minutes so for me a short session.What happened was I wanted to add four newspapers to be blocked to the porn blocker because I some times waste too much time looking at the news which can add to information overload and they have celebrity pages which can be porn subs,while I was on the porn blocker home page I had this idea to unblock the porn sites while I can,and before I knew it 30 minutes had passed.Now the blocker is working again and the password is in a locked money box in my locker at work so that wont be happening again unless I go right out of my way to get the password.Knowing the password is out of reach I'am feeling calm and ready for a long streak.
    I felt a little low for about six hours after my relapse but after that ok again,so I think this relapse has not set me back so as long as I don't relapses again in the next few days the improvements I made in increased energy and alertness should be held on too so I can continue to work on self mastering and developing myself mentally and with my health and diet,relationships and hobbies and financially. A Quote from motivational speaker Les Brow "and as I feel better about myself I will treat myself better and you can't feel well and do well if you don't have good health"

    Life is God's gift to us and how we live our lives is our gift to god. I'm not religious but I like that saying.

    Interesting fact I learnt today is our brain uses up 20% of our bodies energyo_O
     
    Squire and Saville like this.
  18. Squire

    Squire Well-Known Member

    Man I am so super proud of you for looking at porn only 30 minutes out of 25 days! That's a tremendous achievement. If I have done my math right, that is about a 99.92% success rate. Imagine what that success rate would be like if that were the percentage of baskets you made in basketball . . . if that's the number of "yes" responses you got on sales calls . . . if that's your accuracy rate in curing your patients as a doctor . . . if that was the return rate on your investments . . . You are KILLING it! Absolutely knocking it out of the ballpark.

    I've done the same as you with keeping passwords at work, it is a great technique, you and I both will be able to add up increasingly long streaks this way. We are definitely on the right path.

    It is ok that you took a little tumble, it happens but you're getting stronger and it will happen less and less. I don't know you but just knowing we are on the same journey is enough for me to know that you are a hero and I am proud of you.
     
    dig deep and Saville like this.
  19. dig deep

    dig deep must stop wasting my life on porn

    Thanks Squire your words mean a lot to me,they make me feel not alone in this battle.Love your stats makes things look so much better and give me a sense of positivity. That was my second relapse in the 42 days since I came back to my journal where as in the 42 prior to coming back I relapse 17 times.So I have gone from relapsing every 2.5 days to every 21 days:)but still have to do better,shows the benefit of being on YBR forum
    In England it's a bank holiday weekend so no work Monday:)but I have lots of a things to do and a couple of sports events to go to and be with friends and the weather is going to be nice so there is no excuses to relapse or be on the computer to much.
     
    Saville and Libertad like this.
  20. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Sounds like a full day!

    Basically, what Squire said. :) You have already achieved a much different perspective in your life. Once we see things differently we never really go back.

    Have an awesome bank holiday!
     

Share This Page