Today it occurred to me that being honest with you my goal for the weekend was to score some sex, if it was not with Mrs Heron so be it. Often the weekend can be spoilt because that is what I want but it does not get acknowledged having accepted that was on my mind I also asked myself how I would feel on Monday through the various scenarios. Over the past few days I have concluded that really quality moments with my eldest son are few and far between. There are plans for my future, yes I am hoping that I will live a long life and be fit and healthy when I get there, but what quality is there in my life today? Part of the reason my life is on hold is that I am convinced there will be a more affluent honourable day around the corner. I get mad with my wife because we do not have the money for little indulgences now, I feel that she could choose to go to work or do more with the money I bring in. Yet earlier in the week I put her off doing something tomorrow and when she suggested that we ask the boys what they might like to do next weekend I remembered that I might have something to do for some of that time. Dog in a manger comes to mind.