my 3 year experience with nofap

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by rebooting, Jun 1, 2017.

  1. rebooting

    rebooting Member

    I started nofap 3 years ago. I've been away from this forum for a while. I wanted to share my experience since I moved on.

    I found out that porn wasn't an "addiction" and nofap doesn't turn you into superman. I can prove why. I PMO'd to porn for about 17 years, twice a day, every day plus a nightly MO without porn. After 17 years, I had ED even with porn. I needed a lot of time to reach O. Meanwhile, porn didn't arouse me and I woke up every night with irresistible urges to fap. However, the urges weren't triggered by porn. It was simply hypersexuality.

    If you orgasm every day, multiple times a day, your hormones will go insane and force you to repeat it. It was all due to orgasming all the time. In my life, I had periods in which I watched porn for many months while and cold turkey abstaining from masturbation because I had a housemate. While doing so, I could quit watching abruptly for months without any urge to watch. Yes, after long-term excessive porn-watching, I could quit any time for weeks/months without getting any urges. But with excessive long-term daily masturbation, with or without porn, I always had urges when I stopped. Porn is NOT addictive. Your hormones make you want to do it again and again because of over-masturbation, not porn.

    Since I stopped posting on the forum, I did some semen retention for weeks or months once in a while. I noticed the "use it or lose it" effect. If you don't ejaculate (masturbation or sex), your body will think that you aren't mating, thus goes to idle mode and stop giving you sexual urges. There was a period in which I had a lot of sex and my libido was high all the time until I quit having sex for a long time. Currently, I'm busy with a lot of things in my life and haven't had sex for a while. My libido is completely gone. No, it's not a "flatline". It's simply because I don't have sex for a long time, so my body adapts to the new situation by not forcing me to repeat something that I'm not doing anyway.

    Nofap hard-mode only had one purpose for me: to cure my hypersexuality caused by excessive masturbation. Since I was cured, I only had urges for sex if I consistently had sex with a girl. It has nothing to do with porn. The reason why porn didn't turn me on after years is because repeatedly watching one thing removes the surprise. Like watching the same movie over and over again or permanently living like a billionaire which will sooner or later become boring. It's not addiction, but getting used to something. The real addiction is fapping multiple times a day.

    I'm not saying nofap is what I regret. Actually, hard mode nofap cured my nearly 2 decades of hypersexuality that gave me anxiety. I haven't had anxiety for a very long time while I used to suffer from it on a daily basis.

    My experience: use nofap to get rid of hypersexuality. After 2 or 3 months hard mode, have sex or masturbate in moderation to rebuild sexual health. It's all about moderation, but in order to cure masturbation addiction, 2-3 months hard mode is the way to go. No edging or sexual photos.

    Nowadays, I have sex once a week or every other week. Sometimes, I go hard mode for two or three weeks because I'm busy with stuff. No anxiety or interest to watch porn anymore.
  2. Caesura

    Caesura Member

    It seems to me like you just redescribed the process in different words. It's kind of like saying, "There's no such thing as chicken pox; there are just blisters caused by a microorganism." You didn't disprove that porn use escalates, desensitizes, sensitizes, or causes hypofrontality for some people. You didn't argue with the evidence that it's an addiction, you just changed "desensitization" to "boredom" and "cravings" to "hypersexuality."
  3. saneagain

    saneagain Member

    Porn is part of the problem. In the past I sometimes had sex with 4 different women in one day. After that I was satisfied and could go without any cravings or beeing too horny for 2 weeks or so. With porn I could masturbate 10 times a day, be completly exhausted and still not be satisfied. Next day I would have cravings to watch P and masturbate again. This is something real sex never does for me.

    Real sex - even with hookers - always brought relaxation to me. PMO makes me tense as fuck.

    And without porn I don't want to masturbate that much. Maybe once a week at most.

    After having a lot of sex there are no cravings the next day to do it again, even if I could.

    It always comes down to porn.
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2017
    Fortune20 likes this.
  4. rebooting

    rebooting Member

    It's because porn is free of charge nowadays. It has everything to do with accessibility. Remember the era before high-speed internet and tube video sites? Back then, porn cost money and you needed a credit card. At the time, guys were not consuming porn as much as now because of the financial hurdle. The same applies to prostitutes or having sex. It's not as quickly available, anonymous and easy as free porn. If prostitutes were free, you would go back every day, multiple times a day. Your brain is wired to know PMO is free of charge.
  5. saneagain

    saneagain Member

    No I don't remember this era. I am 27. I started watching it during the time of file sharing services like Kazaa.

    I live in a European country where prostitution is legal. I have enough money to go multiple times a week. Yet I never felt the urge to do so. Not a financial issue. An emotional / craivings issue. PMO is completly unsatisfying even when doing it multiple times a day. After real sex I can go a week easily without constantly thinking about sex. With PMO I become irritable and tense as fuck like I already said. I spent a lot of money for sex and this is my personal experience. I also had relationships and some days I was just like "meh" when thinking of sex if I had sex a day or two before.

    But I agree with you, that ocasionally masturbating to release sexual tension when you are horny will not do much - if any - harm. For me after masturbating I also can go a week without too many urges to masturbate. It's the porn that makes me want to masturbate again and again. After having a lot of sex I ask myself why I should have sex again. I rather go and do stuff for my career, work out etc. With porn I am always obsessed with doing it all day long without even knowing why.

    Summary: Without porn - Ocasional masturbation, no strong cravings to do it every day. With porn: cravings, withdrawal and the need to do it 10 times a day. After a lot of sex - no cravings, no withdrawal, satisfaction for a long period of time. It is the porn that makes me want to masturbate until exhaustion.

    It is proven that an orgasm from masturbation is different from an orgasm with a real person. Different amounts of prolactine are released for example.
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2017
  6. Wabi-sabi

    Wabi-sabi Imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete

    I'm always interested to hear about people who reboot so apparently effortlessly - kind of like how Gabe did.

    OK, I'm a little bit envious - but naturally delighted for the OP. For me, it was more about porn than masturbation. Once I started watching it was as if I had to masturbate so I'd be able to stop. I think that's why my three-year reboot has been tougher: I've had to learn to stop hiding from the world.

    Rebooting - I'm guessing that you didn't have self-esteem issues, would that be correct?
  7. rebooting

    rebooting Member

    Hi, Wabi-Sabi. I still remember you from this forum. It wasn't effortless at all, actually. For over a month when I started a cold turkey nofap, I was suffering from extreme urges to fap. I had random erections all day long. The urge to fap was irresistible, like itching. It was a big struggle and drove me nuts. It were my hormones that forced me to fap because I also started to get random acne everywhere, even on the weirdest places. It was testosterone that was going wild because of the sudden cold turkey after years of orgasming multiple times a day. I also had total insomnia for 4 weeks. After about six weeks if I remember correctly, my brain was slowly giving up on pressuring me to have sex.

    Since then, I only had real urges for sex if I was seeing a hot girl. It takes a month, maybe two, to get rid of the PMO-habit but you need to really fight it and not cheat or let your guard down. Those were horrible months for me that I never want to endure again. But once your hormones are back t normal, you don't desire porn or PMO again.

    I guess the reason why it takes so long for some rebooters is because they don't do it hard mode for at least 2 months. Hard mode is the route that I took and it worked for me to get rid of my habit. I'm not a fan of unrealistic goals such ad a "one year hard mode challenge". I personally set my goals to abstain cold turkey until my urges were completely gone. For me, it was a bit more than a month, but it might be a shorter or longer period for others.

    I did have self-esteem issues throughout the years because fapping all the time made me timid and gave me anxiety. I don't think it was because of porn, but because I depleted important nutrients and minerals all the time, had a terrible diet and a lack of sleep.
    Gondapa likes this.
  8. spoofy

    spoofy Active Member

    Had same experiences as OP, quality post.
  9. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Correlation doesn't always equal causation. my friends.

    Drawing broad conclusions from observing yourself is piss poor fact it's not science at all.

    Orgasms were not the problem at all for me, I rarely orgasmed for years but had massive PIED and other problems from edging to porn (without O). After I kicked porn my erections have greatly strengthened, I got morning wood again for the first time in years, I have even had wet dreams for the first time in my life, even real sex in general has been put into a new category -- I don't need it, I want it but I don't need it.

    I'll stick with Gary's science, porn is the problem.
  10. rebooting

    rebooting Member

    Morning wood has nothing to do with pornography or sex for that matter. It is related to healthy sleep cycles and deep sleep. If you have morning wood, you woke up in a cycle in which the erection occurred. It is possible that you always wake up when a nighttime erection already went flaccid.

    Men who have ED are tested by wrapping tape around their penis before sleep. If the tape is broken in the morning, the ED is caused by mental issues such as a lack of arousal (for example caused by porn-induced tolerance) or stress. If the tape is intact, it's a physiological issue.
  11. rebooting

    rebooting Member

    Perhaps you were fapping in your sleep when you were PMO-free.
  12. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Loss of morning wood has been documented in hundreds of reports of otherwise healthy porn addicts, therefore it is highly likely that it does have to do with pornography use. Those same guys report the return of morning wood after ceasing porn use.

    What does night wood testing and physiological vs. brain issues have to do with what I said? Absolutely nothing. Nice cherry picking of one thing I said and trying to make it into some sort of half assed pathetic argument, please go back to school and learn how to form a logical argument.

    This is a forum for porn addicts (people who know it's addictive and are trying to quit), if you don't think porn is a real addiction well then, go ahead and move on.
  13. le_petit_moster

    le_petit_moster Active Member

    By quoting 'addiction' I am hoping some part of you sees it as an addictive substance. I do.

    This is gold and we all need to keep this in mind.
    I read somewhere it's the devil's plan to make Jesus a God.
    If you understand that you have one of the keys to unlock your chain of slavery.
    Wish you all well.
    40New30 likes this.
  14. rebooting

    rebooting Member

    Actually, I have a uni degree in an algebra-related study. It seems like you use a pornography victim role as an excuse to escape from your real problems in life, rather than facing them. I bet you use porn to comfort yourself.

    You sound very conceited and stubborn, but those are characteristics that no one can help you fix.
  15. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Not an argument. :)
  16. spoofy

    spoofy Active Member

    Hey mate, maybe saying "porn isn't an addiction" wasn't the best way to put it?
    E.g. of course it includes the edging/fapping that comes with it, but everyone knows what people do when they watch porn so we just simplify it to "porn addiction" ;)

    I especially like how so many people in the forum here pretend this isn't a thing.
    Then celebrate "beating porn" while all they really did was just enter the low libido cycle :p
  17. Imfree

    Imfree Member

    rebooting, your experience sounds highly atypical, but I believe you when you say that this is how it was for you.

    I found there to be little relationship between MO and PMO. The former is about obtaining an orgasm and gets boring quickly. The latter is an obsession which is all about edging.

    I believe in the "superpowers", although that is a loaded term. I do think that abstaining from MO as well as PMO will help you to approach your true potential (ie., making you normal, not superhuman or subhuman). During addiction I firmly believed in the "use it or lose it" idea and paradoxically also what I call the "hydraulic theory of libido" (libido without an outlet will grow continuously and lead towards some vaguely sensed danger). Since getting auto-erotic activities under control, I have moved to a common sense interpretation. When you are approaching a situation where there is a genuine reason to believe that you will have sex with a woman libido goes sky-high, the rest of the time it will not be something you think about that much (thank god). Erection and ejaculation sort themselves out like any other bodily function (for example, you're not afraid of losing your ability to cough or vomit, even if it's been a while). "Use it or lose it" doesn't make much sense. Obviously, we would have evolved to go for very long periods of time without sexual activity, but to quickly respond when mating opportunities presented themselves.
  18. Imfree

    Imfree Member

    To the best of my knowledge, little or no unbiased scientific research has been done to determine what the optimal schedule for sex or masturbation might be, nor is such research likely to be carried out in the near future. Therefore, any well-reasoned argument or personal anecdote is valid.

    I think that it should be self-evident that MO, PMO, and sex cannot be equated on a physiological or psychological level. I imagine that there is an element of truth to both "use it or lose it" and "the superpowers". If you are masturbating regularly (especially tricking your brain into thinking you are having sex with porn), then you are tuned in to sexual cues, expecting regular orgasms, and mobilizing resources for sex (as might happen in the early phases of a romantic relationship). If this was taken away and you have a more realistic appraisal of the level of generally sexiness in your life you might think "oh it's use it or lose it". On the other hand constant masturbation might over-tax your body and once you take a break from it for a short time, your body recovers to baseline (takes 48 hours or so to have a full sac). Combined with increasing self respect and recovery from addiction-related brain changes these sensations might lead one to think that there is an ongoing increase in vitality and virility and this expectation could be a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think that it is mostly psychological expectations which can lead to a sense of long term improvement or deterioration and that sex is to important of a biological function to be in need of artificial maintenance or to be easily damaged long-term.
  19. Striveforpurity

    Striveforpurity All praise and glory to our Lord Jesus Christ.

    " It's all about moderation" - try telling that to a former alcoholic and see what response you get.

    "After 2 or 3 months hard mode, have sex or masturbate in moderation to rebuild sexual health" - that's a good way of relapsing.

    A mans sexual health doesn't depend on masturbating. That's purely an excuse to jerk off and a lie propagated by the mainstream.

    The key is to balance abstinence with masculinity. Being a man or feeling "strong" doesn't mean you have to take steroids and have sex/masturbate. It's possible to maintain optimal T levels while staying on "hard mode".
  20. lm3

    lm3 New Member

    Thank you for that post, it gives me the power to pursue that 90 days.
    Keep fighting then! Without pain, glory wouldn't be so worth. Do you know how many times I'd relapsed in this first months of the journey? Hundreds! I wasn't able to keep a week streak. I had no control over my urges. Success is about falling and climbing again. If you quit and give up, then you have definitely failed. But if you relapse and, instead of complaining for days about the wrong decision you took, accept it and come back again, then your willpower becomes stronger.

    Besides, I guess you are still very young. You have a very long way to grow! Be the owner of your time and take profit from it.

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