So there's this whole thing about a type of porn losing its novelty and you have to move onto 'harder' stuff..
At the height of my porn use I was also looking at other fucked up shit on websites to do with fights, gore, death..basically all things fucked up (I won't put the websites, cos I don't want to trigger anyone). I was watching 20 videos a day, wouldn't even flinch if I saw a video of someone breaking a leg etc. I was basically desensitized.
Since I stopped porn use and also these videos ie my reboot, I saw an image of a bb player with a broken leg and started feeling light headed and sick..it's almost as if my brain is starting to get normal responses again.
Looking back my head must have been really fucked up. Can anyone else relate to this in anyway?
This is a really interesting topic. I can relate a lot. I used to be really scared of violence, maybe due to some things I witnessed as a child, like my uncle beating my cousin with a belt, which was kinda traumatizing. But seeing violence was also always exciting -- I guess I started with "normal" fight videos, 1on1 school yard fights, random crap really, and I always felt bad and shocked afterwards.
It was this kind of frightened excitement, you know? I occasionally opened like 20 tabs of youtube fights and knew that it was bad watching it and knew I'd feel bad afterwards, but it was too enticing. After reading this topic now, I think I started to become desensitized back then, moving to hooligan fights and just sad things like random guys being stabbed in a shop or people ganging up on a foreigner etc and then I also watched a few of those infamous compilation movies of real deaths and again, I knew it was bad and knew it would haunt my thoughts for quite some time but it was too exciting, too novel, too "prohibited" maybe?
It's definitely easy to get desensitized with those things. It's like after some time you don't even realize anymore how that shit is real and tragic and fucked up.