Author Topic: Emotional Numbness  (Read 1343 times)

BreakfreeUK

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Emotional Numbness
« on: October 16, 2012, 02:12:35 AM »
Hello rebooters!

Doing my reboot has forced me to reflect on other behaviours and tendencies besides viewing pornography.

What i have noticed is that all of my addictions ; porn, masturbation, drinking, smoking, and compulsive internet viewing all have a couple of things in common.

1) They are all solo activities , they are all about me and do not involve other people. The end result is social isolation.
2) They all are to do with pleasure and the compulsive seeking nature of it.

3) None of the addictions tend to involve heart based feelings ; feelings of connection or care or appreciation or anything like that.

I have been reflecting on the fact that i feel very cut off from my feelings. Whether this is due to the porn or not i do not know.

I can only describe it as an emotional numbness and a disconnection.

My question is to you is , has anyone else experienced this emotional numbness? Is it connected to the porn issue? Did it improve with time? What did you do to resolve it?

Shaman

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Re: Emotional Numbness
« Reply #1 on: October 16, 2012, 03:47:11 AM »
From personal experience, I think it's normal to feel that way when you have a handful of addictions.

By nature, addictions tend to make a person isolated and socially withdrawn. Probably the only addiction that isn't a 'solo activity' is sex addiction. But even then, the person with a sex addiction must feel very empty and numb inside.

The reward center of an addicted person doesn't get enough stimulus from social interactions. 'Normal' people get a healthy dose of dopamine release from simply talking with other people and being in social situations. This is why you see many guys reporting less social anxiety and wanting to seek the company of others the closer they get to fully rebooting.

I think they only solution is to just keep at it and to try to tone down your other addictions as much as possible. Eventually it should improve with time.

BreakfreeUK

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Re: Emotional Numbness
« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2012, 09:26:28 AM »
Great easy to understand article on dopamine there. Good to see it in a non porn addiction context.

Also interesting article about the bdnf. I REALLY need to start some kind of daily exercise.

Thanks for the post there too shaman, i agree with the points you make.

Bob

diz

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Re: Emotional Numbness
« Reply #3 on: October 16, 2012, 10:23:40 AM »
Thanks for your post Bob, I feel the correlation too.

I've been spending more time with people since starting this reboot and have found those days much easier than those when I am alone, not watching P, thinking of something else to do.

I will also be getting some running shoes on pay day!

CidGuerreiro

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Re: Emotional Numbness
« Reply #4 on: October 16, 2012, 10:34:39 AM »
I'm Mr. Emotional Numbness.

Seriously, just a few weeks ago I was literally living like a zombie: aimlessly keeping my routines and seeking my daily needs (food, shelter and porn, basically).

I've lost two great girls in a short period of time because I couldn't "connect" with them.  There was just no emotion in me to trigger the emotion on them.

Even now I still feel numbed down, although a bit less. It's improving steady and slowly. Same for my "drive" and will to do things other than sit on my ass, waiting for something to happen.

CrazyGopher

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Re: Emotional Numbness
« Reply #5 on: October 16, 2012, 03:24:55 PM »
Porn abuse makes me more flat. Emotionless. Like a robot.

Not sure why, but it sure sucks.

anonmoose

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Re: Emotional Numbness
« Reply #6 on: October 16, 2012, 06:59:11 PM »
Yes, I was generally indifferent when I was PMOing. Generally I just didn't give a fuck about anything. If I ever started to feel stress or some unpleasant feeling, I would just PMO it all away. Now 39 days into my reboot, I'm trying not to MO every time I start to feel stress (something I've failed with up to now). Past two days have just been awful and now I feel depressed. It wasn't like this when I was PMOing or even MOing on the reboot. These feeling really suck, but at least they're feelings...