Oh my god yes. I remember during the summer my cousin was visiting me from russia, I had just relapsed bad after a 22 day streak. Basically after I relapse several times over, he and I go to see a movie in the city (I'm from new york). Anyway, on the way there he starts questioning me...asking me If I'm ok. He told me that I looked like a guy who was coming off of a heroine buzz. I was so lethargic, quiet and slow. The next morning I drove him to the beach, and I was still feeling really out of it. I mean, I couldn't think straight. I was depressed. He continues to question me about whats wrong...as soon as I let him out of the car and he closes the door...I start crying like a little girl. I just broke down. I remembered how I felt after 22 days of being free from this disease, and compared it to how crappy I felt at that moment, and it was just unbearable.
I relapsed bad again yesterday. First I masturbated in the morning, then later in the day I went full blown PMO. The dopamine difference between MO and PMO was SO NOTICEABLE (based on how I felt during and after orgasm), that it literally knocked me out. I fell asleep literally 2 minutes after I orgasmed. Since then I have had this ridiculous brain fog...combined with insane urges to PMO. Basically, I knew in my mind that PMO is bad for me, but I couldn't connect the dots at all. I couldn't put two and two together.
This morning I woke up, and I go to the gym. I do 2 exercises (20 minutes, instead of my usual hour), and I just leave the gym. I have ZERO motivation. I get home, I take a cold shower...it helps a bit...but a few minutes later I'm sitting at my desk with my head down...feeling like getting up would be the equivalent of lifting the world on my shoulders. I've been slowly recovering since...but the brain fog has dissipated a bit since then, and now I am able to think a bit more rationally.
This makes me really wonder...I'm a virgin (24 Y/0)...and If I am feeling this dead after PMO...how will I feel after sex? My theory right now is that sex will have a completely opposite effect on my brain... not just because of the emotional connection...but simply because of the source of dopamine. I've basically structured my life over the past 4 months to allow for AS LITTLE instant gratification as humanly possible...so when I give my brain this massive burst of dopamine in the form of an instant gratification...it becomes confused....my poor brain doesn't understand how this sudden influx of dopamine can come about if I have been training it to work hard for the past 4 months. Anyway, thats my theory.