Wow, another married guy who mirrors my situation. In my case, my wife found out, and part of the problem resulted in her withdrawing from me physically. We both agree that for 23 years, we haven't had a 'normal' sex life. It has been the most painful thing I have ever endured in my entire life,..and the most chronic. I unfortunately crossed lines further than PMO, and when my wife found out about that, it was devastating. She as wondered for a long time why she wasn't enough for her. It has been difficult for her to learn (and she is still learning) that when she tells me NO over and over and over, it hurts me deaply. I question the marriage, the value of marriage as an institution, and whether the "Sunday School Lessons" I grew up with about "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultry" are of any value whatsoever. But, thank God and my conscience that despite my mistakes, I do believe there is value in fidelity.
My wife sees that I do have a sense of right and wrong, regardless of my mistakes. She also sees that in a small way (not in ANY way to diminish my horrible choices), she has contributed to the problem. Because of both of these things, we are working to rebuild.
I've had multiple problems with my reboot cycle. I haven't "flatlined" as much as I thought I would (and I had hoped it would be more). The moring wood for me returned after about a week,...and then WHAM,...lust! Anyway, I'm not going to quit. NO way am I going to quit. I have too much to lose. I might actually get my wife back. If I can do that, there is a real possibility we can have a loving marriage for th enext 23 years. I'm willing to reboot for that.
Keep going Spinergy. Also, please keep posting. Your story and mine are similar in a LOT of ways. I want to learn from you as you progress forward.