Day 6 (09:30 - 11:00)
Thanks Dark and True!
The weekend was a little weird. I didn't PMO but after having (awesome) sex with my gf on Saturday morning, I had a little chaser effect and when she unexpectedly had to go for about an hour, I may have watched a little porn and browsed the hooker forums a bit. I really wasn't prepared for that combo (chaser+staying alone). Anyway, I didn't O and didn't even edge so I'll keep the counter running...
The plan for the weekend was to not plan anything. The only goal was to get out of the house and do something different. Which didn't happen, unfortunately. Somehow, we both ended up spending a lot of time in front of computers, either working or watching tv and movies. I didn't even realise how this happened. Anyway, next weekend, we both promised we'll do something more interesting.
With the weekend not being that great, I was actually looking forward to this moment. Monday morning 9-11. A time I would previous be scared of that has lately turned into a healing session.
So, I've started writing this at 9:30 and I'm going to keep editing it until around 11, documenting all the things I do.
Reading (same stuff again and a few new articles):http://zenhabits.net/obstacle-work/
- I'll keep reading this!http://zenhabits.net/the-worry/
- Similar article, applies almost every time I try to start working on somethinghttp://zenhabits.net/discomfort-ruin/
- Similar, embracing discomforthttp://jamesclear.com/positive-thinking
- Already putting the advice into action with meditation and writing about positive experiences but I still suck at "playing". I actually asked my gf about what kind of things we can do together that are non-productive and just plain fun and we both couldn't come up with much. Any ideas?http://yourbrainonporn.com/im-going-reveal-you-1-secret-overcome-pornography-addiction
- The PORN is not an option mindset. Read it once, and forgot about it. I think I'm going to spend a few minutes every day just asking myself "are you ok with never watching porn and going to hookers ever again?" and see what's going on in my head. I hope at some point I will be able to confidently say "yes".http://yourbrainonporn.com/uncle-bob-porn-addiction-recovery-tips
- This is so great. I just keep refreshing the page.
I found it a little difficult to think of a positive experience today, with this last weekend being such a failure and me focusing so much about it. I had to go a few weeks back, during our holiday, to find something positive. It was a day when me and my gf were discussing with my sister (a teacher) and she ended up giving us a lesson on world war 1. She walked as through a 30' presentation which we stretched to over an hour and a half and we all loved it. We learned something new and got closer to my sister (which I don't see very often).
Daily uncomfortable thing:
Today I'm thinking of going to get a haircut. For some reason I've been pushing this back for the whole of last week. It's stupid, I know, but I used to go to this one guy for years back in my hometown who knew what to do and here (over a year after moving in with my gf in this town) I still haven't found someone I feel comfortable with. But it has to be done. I'm starting to look like a homeless guy.
Did the 7-minute workout again. Good stuff. Showered right after.
Did a 5' guided session on calm.com. It's still difficult to keep my mind from drifting away to random thoughts but I guess it needs more time and practice. Still I feel much calmer now.
This morning session is more important than my work and everything else I do during the day. It's a time for me to heal and allow myself to relax and grow its positive side. Don't forget that.
Right, going to get started with my day. Will catch up with your journals later in the evening. Hope you are all ok.