Author Topic: Late virginity = Sexual dysfunction?  (Read 2093 times)

Paddy

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Late virginity = Sexual dysfunction?
« on: July 19, 2013, 08:45:14 AM »
I found a somehat worrisome article: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Sex/story?id=3932047&page=1

Essentially it suggests that late virgins are at greater risks at developing sexual problems, even later in life, and that it may not just be because of psychological hangups but about biological factors as well.

Like others on this forum I'm a late virgin. I didn't mean to pour salt on our already deep wounds but this has got me somewhat worried.

I don't know what to think of it. It does seem strange that biological factors comes into play other than that those who are late virgins on average may have a natural lower libido or something like that. But that has nothing to do with late virginity in itself.

What do you guys think of it? That it can be a psychological hangup and therefore lead to sexual problems is quite logical. But are there even biological or deeper factors at play here? Have late virgins to some degree even irreversebly damaged themselves and therefore causing sexual problems? That the body should have had sex when you are twenty and at your sexual peak otherwise it's going to cause problems in the future or something like that. I don't like to think that is the case but it worries me. I'm not basing this just on that article. I have seen other sources suggesting the same.


« Last Edit: July 19, 2013, 08:53:14 AM by Paddy »

tsmith1302

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Re: Late virginity = Sexual dysfunction?
« Reply #1 on: July 19, 2013, 08:59:25 AM »
I lost my v-card at 26. Erection quality was pretty weak my first time but amazing my second time (which was almost 9 months later). There are some other posters here, like Underdog and Metal for instance, who lost their virginity later in life and have gone on to have satisfying sex.

So as the article suggests, there are definitely some psychological factors at play. But irreversible damage? Absolutely not.

Paddy

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Re: Late virginity = Sexual dysfunction?
« Reply #2 on: July 19, 2013, 09:18:27 AM »
I lost my v-card at 26. Erection quality was pretty weak my first time but amazing my second time (which was almost 9 months later). There are some other posters here, like Underdog and Metal for instance, who lost their virginity later in life and have gone on to have satisfying sex.

So as the article suggests, there are definitely some psychological factors at play. But irreversible damage? Absolutely not.

It supposedly also causes problems later in life. I think in our cases here however it's mostly the porn that are refraining us from getting it up. That could of course also be the case for some of the late virgins that develop sexual dysfunction. They have rewired themselves to porn instead of real women.

tsmith1302

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Re: Late virginity = Sexual dysfunction?
« Reply #3 on: July 19, 2013, 09:26:26 AM »
Yea, I also think porn would be the main factor in sexual dysfunction.

How old are you? Still a virgin I take it? Honestly dude it is what it is. Like I said, I lost mine at 26. No use in worrying about it causing problems down the road. You just have to accept whatever is in the past.

theDarkHorse

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Re: Late virginity = Sexual dysfunction?
« Reply #4 on: July 19, 2013, 03:27:09 PM »
Hi,

As a late virgin (first sex at 30 using ED drugs) I would agree that physiological factors are at play here. But the article you cite doesn't really go into the biological factors and mainly states psychological ones. Check out this discussion:
http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=10247

Gary put forward that the same mechanism that results in porn-induced ED could also result in sexual problems from being a late virgin. If you are a late virgin then you won't have any reward circuitry that is wired to real sexual encounters, because you have only known MO and/or PMO. So as well as kicking the PMO habit, I really recommend kicking the MO habit at the same time, as this circuit needs to fade out too. Then you will have to start rewiring for real sexual experiences with real women... this is the really hard bit: I wasn't a late virgin for nothing, I was a late virgin because I suck at getting sex. And that hasn't changed.

But don't despair, I think you just have to follow the same process as the other guys on here, it might just take a little while longer, and it may take a couple of false starts when you get finally get with a partner. I can't tell you that it will work because I'm only part way through the process, but I'm still optimistic at this stage.

Paddy

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Re: Late virginity = Sexual dysfunction?
« Reply #5 on: July 20, 2013, 06:12:14 AM »
That's an interesting thread. Thanks.

Forgotten

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Re: Late virginity = Sexual dysfunction?
« Reply #6 on: July 20, 2013, 08:40:48 AM »
Put sexual conditioning, especially with porn, in that article, and everything will make sense. Teens are horny, and if they can't have sex, they substitute sex with masturbation for so many years. This alone, in my opinion, can wire the brain to solo sex to some extent; but not so much, because masturbation without porn is not much exticing. With porn, wanking becomes so much more exciting, and the sexual conditioning is much more powerful. Most, though not all, heavy porn users are people with little success with girls. Therefore, late virginity can be linked to sexual problems. It makes sense to me.
Also, there is the psychological aspect. Failing with girls for a long time during the period of life in which libido is highest can lead to frustration, anger, and lack of self-confidence. All things that impact in a negative way on your sexual life.


« Last Edit: July 20, 2013, 08:43:49 AM by Forgotten »

Paddy

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Re: Late virginity = Sexual dysfunction?
« Reply #7 on: July 21, 2013, 04:05:46 AM »
I'm also thinking that if the pathways in your brain of connecting with real women are weak due to not having any experience. Then you are not going to be able to build up those pathways completely if you do it after your sexual peak. Anyone thinks there is a risk at that?

FritzBrause

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Re: Late virginity = Sexual dysfunction?
« Reply #8 on: July 21, 2013, 06:54:25 AM »
I'm also thinking that if the pathways in your brain of connecting with real women are weak due to not having any experience. Then you are not going to be able to build up those pathways completely if you do it after your sexual peak. Anyone thinks there is a risk at that?

There are people who have to relearn walking and talking after suffering a stroke.
Their brains need to redistribute the responsibility for these actions to other areas
who had nothing to do with them before that, because those areas where they used
to be processed are dead.

If people can recover from that, i think it is more than plausible that you can achieve complete
functionality even if you started later and got addicted to porn.

In essence: The brain remains plastic, it is easier to form during youth, but you can still work on it as you get older.

tsmith1302

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Re: Late virginity = Sexual dysfunction?
« Reply #9 on: July 21, 2013, 07:05:00 AM »
I'm also thinking that if the pathways in your brain of connecting with real women are weak due to not having any experience. Then you are not going to be able to build up those pathways completely if you do it after your sexual peak. Anyone thinks there is a risk at that?

I disagree. There's plenty of guys who get laid alot during their "sexual peak" years and go on to be fat and lazy and lethargic towards sex in their late 30's and beyond.

You can and probably should argue that somebody who missed the boat in their teens might have a renewed sense of vigor and appreciation for getting laid that carries on well past the point it would for most men. This is however, under the assumption, that the porn beast has already been slayed and they are intent on being sexually active.

Paddy, you're starting to sound a little paranoid, like there's nothing we can do or say to convince you a later-in-life virgin can go on to have a good sex life. Stop reading these articles and coming up with theories. Relax, accept what's in the past and work on creating a better future for yourself.


« Last Edit: July 21, 2013, 07:08:22 AM by tsmith1302 »

Erzyce

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Re: Late virginity = Sexual dysfunction?
« Reply #10 on: July 24, 2013, 10:10:27 PM »
I think it's bull. Not least of all because sexual function is a highly important thing for an organism to have. To think this would just fail because someone waited 'too long' or whatever sounds really unlikely.

Personally I had my first real sex when I was 23, beyond this so called peak. I had years of PMO'ing behind me and a very occasional kiss with a girl. Yet there I was, in the bathtub, drunk as fuck and sporting a healthy glorious erection.

Problems didn't start forming until a couple of years later.

So there's two moments, both of wich would be under the categorie of a late starter, yet one clearly shows that all can be well. Whatever's going on, it's not due to age.