Withdawal symptoms for 14 months

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by saneagain, Feb 18, 2018.

  1. saneagain

    saneagain Member

    I have still have several withdrawal symptoms after 14 months.

    Lightheadedness
    Dizziness
    Visual effects like afterimages for several seconds, traces, visual snow
    Muscle twitches
    Pain in gums
    Wet dreams about every 2 weeks
    Brain fog / depersonalisation / derealization
    Fatigue
    No emotions and no real attraction to women
    Pressure on teeth and head
    Insomnia
    Tight throat, difficulty breathing, like someone is choking me

    Things have improved comared to how it was 1 year ago. I have more physical energy so I took up low paid jobs. I work out regularly. But the situation is still shit. I can't continue working on my uni degree becaus of this horrible brain fog.

    I tried supplelements but none of them seem to work very well. Or maybe very subtle.

    Anyone who had a similar experience and made it trough? Or any other suggestions?
     
  2. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

    I spent 14 months trying to go clear before I realized I had an addiction, rather than a bad habit that was just difficult to stop. I have experienced all those withdrawal symptoms, except wet dreams. All I can tell you is that it gets easier the longer you go. Are you still in hardmode, or are you allowing yourself to spike your dopamine once in a while? Those little cheats can set things back. The lightheadedness and dizzyness are interesting symptoms, which I also experienced, but no longer do. The reboot is about rebalancing your brain, and that means you are altering your daily dopamine reaction and existence. Your brain's reality with a daily hit of porn induced dopamine is a lot different that your brain's reality without that, and along the trip back to balanced, that shift in dopamine levels can produce a lot of side effects. Take a look at this:

    https://mentalhealthdaily.com/2015/04/02/low-dopamine-levels-symptoms-adverse-reactions/

    My advice, keep going. But if you can add socialization with people to your recovery formula, I think it would help. Desensitizing to porn is more efficient if you are resensiziting to reality, and that means real people with a pulse.

    W.
     
    dig deep and Bauldr like this.
  3. Bauldr

    Bauldr Active Member

    Great link.

    Relieved to see speech problems on that list. When I O, even after a wet dream I sometimes slur my speech for the first few hours of the day - it's mostly undetectable to others but it's most definitely there.
     
  4. saneagain

    saneagain Member

    Thanks, but man... 15 months now. First 9 months total hard mode. Yes, after that I MOd but not excessively. Once in a week or two weeks maybe.

    What's up with the pain in my whole body? Especially in my mouth/gums? Dentist checked everything. No doctor found anything. It's unbereable at times. After 15 fucking months.

    I do my best with socialization but I feel constantly spaced out like out of my body. It's really hard. I have no emotions most of the time. Pressure in my head....
     
  5. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

    I had the same symptom. It felt like my teeth hurt. I did not do the hard 90, because, when I quit, I was committed to quitting for life. My withdrawals were about the same as yours. To get through it I told myself that if felt like dying, but if I had to feel like dying, every moment, for every day, for the rest of my life, that is what I would feel to get free. You are suffering phantom pain, a classic withdrawal symptom. Though a metaphor, it is your addiction attempting to force you to use again. I have not felt that for years. I don't know what to tell you about the MO. Unless you are fantasizing about paint peeling, you are using sexual thoughts, and sexual thoughts = a dopamine rush, and it is the dopamine hit that is addictive for us. It takes some of us longer, and even with the hard 90, it is not over for most of us after only 90 days. I am almost 5 years clean. I don't have bad moments much any more, but that does not mean I never have them. I don't know anyone who quit who did not eventually start to feel much better, but it takes different times for each of us. I think if you give it more time, it will eventually begin to look like normal again.
     
  6. saneagain

    saneagain Member

    I am actually not fantasizing about anything. This may sound crazy but it's true. I am able to MO just with sensation not thinking about anything. No porn especially.

    The other thing is that I am getting wet dreams about every 2 weeks. And it feels like they set me back. As if my brain is in a constant loop of withdrawal.
     
  7. Bauldr

    Bauldr Active Member

    How often do you MO?

    I wonder what would happen to your wet dream frequency if you stopped MO. The "constant loop" that is perpetuated by wet dreams is surely worse when MO is in the equation? MO is far more closely wired to our addiction than dreams can be, even if there is no fantasy, or porn.
     
  8. saneagain

    saneagain Member

    It's constant for months already. If i dont MO, i habe a WD every 2 weeks. Once i MOd and the next day i had a WD. So the theory about getting WDs because of too much pressure is not valid. It's definitely addiction related.
     
  9. Bauldr

    Bauldr Active Member

    I think it's definitely addiction related. Very few people have wet dreams with the freq. of rebooters, that being said - how far does the rot of porn spread in society so baseline WD freq. is impossible to determine unless we look up pre-internet WD rates.

    I don't know of any evidence or hold belief in the "pressure" or "build up" view of wet dreams either, I wasn't implying that. Particularly in the case of this addiction.

    I was alluding to the possibility that MO is keeping some of the porn addiction pathways active and firing, whether fantasizing or not and as a result will increase PA symptoms, including Wet Dreams. I really believe the wiring of MO pathways and P pathways are almost too intertwined for the 'PA brain' to be able to differentiate - with perhaps the only real difference being the neurotransmitter dose. Thus potentially increasing (or substantially decreasing recovery time of) porn addiction symptoms, including PA related wet dreams.
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2018
  10. doneatlast

    doneatlast Active Member

    Not a doctor, but here's my guess:

    14 months is a long time for side effects to happen... it sounds to me like you've been porn free for 14 months, or do you just mean you've been trying to quit for 14 months?

    In any case, I think you have other issues. Most of us (one therapist I spoke with would say all) have addictions that perpetuate because we have other issues we're dealing with. We don't notice it under the addiction, but when the addiction is pulled away or we attempt to live without it, the underlying issues are bigger than ever, and like an ignored infection, has gotten nasty and out of control. People much smarter than me wouldn't dare try to diagnose it from an internet thread, but there are ideas. Maybe you have tension/anxiety issues, and the dental problems are a result of clenching. I sometimes get headaches from this. It is more common in women (has to do with lighter muscle mass in the jaw/neck), but men can get it too. Maybe something like PTSD from some trauma, perhaps trauma sexually related. Maybe you have other sexual/relational anxieties... if you're a student, you're likely surrounded by beautiful women all the time, and can be hard to not dwell on that stuff. Likely it isn't one of the cliche/obvious things I list, but maybe it gets you thinking.
     
    Living likes this.
  11. Bauldr

    Bauldr Active Member

    Keep in mind 2 year reboots are not rare now. There are some emerging cases of 3+ years for recovery with complete abstinence from porn, even on this forum. Checkout the success story from user "Rebornagain", 3 years with only 1 slip up and I don't think he's quite 100%. We need to remember this was a daily activity, for a decade in most cases.
     
  12. spoofy

    spoofy Active Member

    You have two choices
    1. Pretend all your problems originate from porn and never have them fixed.
    2. Realize the human body is complex and while you sorted your porn problem, you have about half a dozen other things to figure out and fix.

    The choice is yours.
     
    Living likes this.
  13. saneagain

    saneagain Member

    I dont have anything else to fix. I am pretty sure my physical and mental symptoms, which change right after Masturbation and wet dreams, are the result of excessive porn use and Masturbation in the past. The symptoms peak right before a wet dream. After a WD some of them disappear for a few days just to come back.

    I am in good shape, have a good diet, work out, have friends. Have been grade A student at uni. No trauma or anything alike. Got checked by several doctors, who found nothing.

    I have now met a dozen of guys with the same symptoms, which also cant be just a coincidence. Too many overlaps.

    So if anybody experienced this type if withdrawals I would be happy to read a success story or get tips how to deal with them.

    Theanin is said to influence Neurotransmitter levels in the brain. Anybody tried it?
     
  14. Bauldr

    Bauldr Active Member

    I'm a long time user of L-theanine.

    It's most noticeable for when caffeine is also being consumed, in my experience it substantially reduces negative side effects of caffeine (anxiety, jitters etc.)

    When taken by itself in 'regular' doses it isn't too noticeable. I'll usually take a high dose (400mg) on Friday/Saturday night around 7pm so I can relax easier after the work week. My physiology is somewhat stubborn when it comes to drugs though, many report positive benefits.

    Here's my favourite success story, detailing our stranger symptoms;

    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/age-22-visual-snow-and-brain-fog-99-gone-energy-confidence-way
     
  15. saneagain

    saneagain Member

    I ditched caffeine almost completely. Drink only tea , rarely. It has improved a lot but coffee would cause panic attacks a few months ago.
     
  16. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    Good point. Also, by choosing the latter option, you haven't got anything to lose. You may find that some investigations into your symptoms lead to nowhere. However, by experimenting with different approaches, eg. CBT for your anxiety and depression, you will find that they will make a difference. A case in point, is that I used to suffer terribly of brain fog until I discovered that, by going on an elimination diet, I was intolerant to gluten. This has significantly reduced my anxiety and depression to the point where I am now more functional and pushing myself beyond my comfort zone than ever before. My brain fog has more or less completely vanished. Similarly, the length of time and quality of my sleep has also improved, after putting in place a variety of measures. We have no reliable way of knowing on a personal level whether our difficulties of the moment are due to lingering PAWS or other unresolved issues. By keeping an open and inquiring mind, you can't go wrong.

    Exactly. This topic is a cause for anxiety for a lot of long term rebooters who feel that they are missing something in the picture, myself included. In the early stages of recovery, I hoped that all of my symptoms and difficulties would disappear with a 90 day reboot. Becoming sober has allowed me to become aware of the issues I was running away from by acting out.
     
    Living likes this.
  17. saneagain

    saneagain Member

    Like I already said. I have no allergies, I could eat anything my whole life, I was able to run 20 km without any problems, I was a grade A student with superior memory.

    When all this started I started having sex dreams almost every day. I started having wet dreams 3 times a week. I suddenly became intolerant to caffeine and alcohol. I couldn't even walk for an hour. My brain needs about 2 seconds to process any movement, which makes me feel like I am drunk 24/7. My libido disappeared. Plus more funny symptoms.

    I couldn't work out for 6 months. Now I am slowly coming back to working with weights which I used before all this crap started. But pressure in head and shaking increases when I do physical work.

    All you people talking about "other issues". Can you specify what you are talking about? Without concrete suggestions this talk is useless.

    I repeat: I reduced stress in my life, I work low paid jobs (cant finish uni degree right now because of focus and memory problems), I sleep properly, I eat only good stuff, I work out, I go out with friends, I go for walks, I play guitar. Yet my eyes have focus issues, I have memory problems, fatigue.

    So what are the "other issues"?
     
  18. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    The wet and erotic dreams are undoubtedly addiction related. I have them too relatively frequently. If all of your other symptoms came on suddenly after quitting porn, then it seems to imply that they could be PAWS. That's not to say nothing can be done to ease those symptoms. It seems that the symptoms you describe are unusually difficult even for PAWS. It isn't uncommon to see addicts experience them for short periods of time, but it does seem unusual to have suffered as long you have.This is why I am inclined to think that there many be other contributing factors at work here.

    You might want to stop masturbating. As Bauldr indicates, it is a bit of a grey area when it comes to recovery from porn. It may be hindering your recovery. From experience, I know that I always feel the urge to PMO if I have MO'd. MOing sooner or later results in a relapse further down the line.

    I'm not a doctor. I can't give you an encyclopaedic list. What I do know is that it is common for addicts to also have a mental health issue like anxiety and depression that also needs addressing. Fatigue, difficulty focusing, and brain fog are also signs of anxiety and depression. Any mental health issue can be contributed by a host of physical conditions. Not to make too much of a point on allergies. Many of the symptoms are subtle and are also signs of other conditions. They can't be reliably detected with blood tests, so many people have them without realising it. Other conditions that can contribute to some of the symptoms you describe include Acid reflux and an imbalance in gut microbiome. I'm not saying that you have these conditions, I am making the point that we can't afford to keep our minds closed to multiple possibilities. We deserve trying whatever may make a difference.
     
    spoofy likes this.
  19. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    Hey saneagain. Do you face insomnia?
    Do you have back, neck and abdomen pains? Do you feel fatigue during the day? Is your pennis shrunken? Last time you MOed how was your semen? Thick thin?
     
  20. saneagain

    saneagain Member

    All my symptoms match with benzo withdrawal / PAWS, which can last just as long (usually 1-2 years, but can be longer). I never had to deal with anxiety or depression in my life. Was a good student with superb memory, no sleep issues. But I was masturbating multiple times a day with porn.

    Yes, I seem to have acid reflux and had digestion issues, but they also started when all the other symptoms ( vision problems, memory issues, shaking). They have improved during the last year. Important to note that benzo withdrawal causes acid reflux and gut problems too (see "benzo belly").

    I quit MO, since it definitely influences the symptoms in some way.

    Of course it's important to rule everything else out. First thing was to get checked by doctors (blood tests, MRI of my head, gut). Second is good diet, sun, enough excercise, socialize etc. I tried supplements. So I am trying to do everything that makes a difference....

    Yes, I face insomnia. Never had it in my life before. I had severe neck stiffness, which has improved. I had pain everywhere in my body. My penis is shrunken, yes. As far as I remember semen was rather thick.
     
    Mickeymouse likes this.

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