Hello all -- my first post here. My circumstances might be a bit different from most. I was a very happily married man for 2-1/2 decades, until my wife died of cancer two years ago. For the first few months, I was so deeply grieving that I lost any interest in anything, including physical pleasure of any kind (eating, alcohol, sex, etc.) My sensory interests are still well below what they once were -- I eat just for nutrition, drinking gives no pleasure, etc. -- except for surfing porn. That has gradually increased until I now spend many hours doing it every day. There are countless things I should be doing to try to earn a living and build something useful out of whatever's left of my life, but the pull of porn seems to be overwhelmingly strong. I lose all sense of time, and often go to bed at 5am, sleeping in until noon. It's not just PMO, it's the looking itself that feels compulsive. I don't know what psychological factors might be involved. I think that at first, it was largely about self-comfort; life dealt me such an awful hand that taking some time for pleasure seemed like something I had agency over, and was almost like self-medication. Being able to focus on visual stimulation was like a vacation from reality, and orgasms are the only form of real pleasure that I seem to have access to. But now the "medication" has agency over me. From things that I've read about dealing with porn addictions, it seems that a common tactic is to try to replace PMO with a healthy relationship with another human. But therein lies the complication: I don't want another sexual or romantic relationship with anyone. I'm still in love with my late wife, and I always will be. Our relationship was very happy, complete, exclusive and we were both faithful to it for all 27 years of our relationship. The thought of actually being intimate with another real woman feels overwhelmingly transgressive and unethical to me. But porn doesn't trespass on that; it's not being "unfaithful" to her, and it involves no relationship. Since I don't think it's sensible for me to try to spend the next 30 years (or however many I have left) without any form of sexual gratification, I'd like to find a way to limit how long I can spend looking at porn. Unfortunately, my willpower is pretty much at zero for anything. I've tried setting up porn-blocking software, and even a mechanical timer on my monitor, to turn it off at midnight, but I just end up thwarting such restraints. I've tried posting notes around my computer's monitor to admonish me to not backslide, but I seem to be able to block those out, or ignore them. I've been seeing a therapist for the past 18 months -- mostly to deal with grief, PTSD and related issues -- but I don't want to discuss this with her; she's young (just got her Masters degree) and it would be awkward, and I doubt that she's had much experience in dealing with porn addiction. My wife's medical treatments, the months that we didn't have an income while she battled the cancer, and the funeral and burial expenses, completely depleted our savings, investments and retirement. We co-owned an operated our own business, but I have no more interest in doing that without her; I've tried, but it just tears me up doing it without her. I'm broke and tired of the stress caused by having to scramble at the end of every month to come up with rent. It's become a vicious circle: porn provides escapism from harsh reality, and due to porn, reality becomes ever more harsh. Anyway, that's my story. I'd appreciate any practical advice or insights.