Waving Porn Goodbye

Discussion in 'Ages -19' started by Master3, Jul 28, 2014.

?

Can addicts get rid of their addiction or just get strong enough to say no to it

Poll closed Jul 19, 2015.
  1. Can get rid of it

    45.5%
  2. Can only get strong enough to say no

    27.3%
  3. Dont know

    27.3%
  1. Master3

    Master3 You control your life

    Little background about me
    - Soon 16 year old
    - Going in the night grade. ( Another system in this country)
    - Started PMO around the age of 13
    - My grades in school ever since I found out about PMO has dropped, i have stopped studying as much and dont concentrate that good.
    - Been trying to quit my PMO addiction since last August i started getting low erections(ED). Its been one year now and im a little mad about it.
    - Since starting porn i've escalated to other kind of porn, went to hardcore and recently escalation was Shemale/Tranny porn, that im currently on.
    - My longest streak has been 22 days and i've been there two or three times. Just beat it
    - I usually go 10-20 days before i relapse. Doing good now

    Feelings
    - Before porn i was one of the happiest guy but after finding out about it has made me less happy and more angrier some how.
    - After the relapses i have had this one year after that i usually get dissapointed by myself, just want to throw out all the devices with access to porn..
    - The 3 times i have gone 22 days with no porn, i feelt happier and more alive and less angrier, but still i got back to it and im here to go again and i will not Relapse

    Social Life
    - Im a competitive guy, who likes playing sport, i play basket and football(soccer), and got the best grade in sport in my class
    - My relationship with my friends is good.
    - I havent been in relationship in some years, but i dont usually think about it. I can easily go to a girl and talk to her im not afraid of that and i got confident to do it.

    This will be the last time i relapse, im determined by this

    Im ready to quite porn after 1 year of trying.
    I love girls and i want to be attracted to them in real life more so i can give them my best performance.


    Message to me

    Are you in control are you urges in control? Dont let your urges beat you down, find your strenght.

    [size=18pt]65 days is your goal you can do this, dont disappoint yourself, remember that you always beat yourself up after relapse.


    Relapse isn't worth it, it will only last some seconds.

    You wrote this letter and you wrote that you would not fail so dont.

    Dont let all those days be wasted, dont relapse.

    Be in control

    Searching for porn or searching for porn pictures count as relapse, im strict about that and i will reset my counter, i will not cheat.
    [size=10pt]I will be posting my updates every sunday that i can, and hopefully i havent failed by then, then i will have failed my quest that i was so determined to, but i wont.[/size]
     
  2. Master3

    Master3 You control your life

    Re: My Journey begins here and i will not fail

    Day 1: Easy today, but gettin thought about relapsing, but i wont. Since last year trying to recover, i feel like i can imagine better, but not to good erection.
    Day 1-3: Getting thoughts that i should sneak peak, and it doesn't count as relapse, but no sneak peak on Porn or MO, for 63 more days, if i sneak peak its relapse, thats why im strong and dont.
    Day 4: Morning woods and random erections are acouring, but they are low. I redownloaded my pc, no porn protection anymore, but hope that doesn't make me relapse. But my strong erection for female bodies are not there yet, through my years watching porn i got into the Shemale porn, and my brain is still into it, hoping to fix this. 3 days away from home, that will speed things up a little.
     
  3. picats3141

    picats3141 Active Member

    Re: My Journey begins here and i will not fail

    Hey man, I followed your topic so I can check in with you as we progress. Just reading your background reminds me a lot of myself. I also started heavily PMOing around 13, but I'd searched some vanilla stuff starting when I was 10. I have experienced less confidence, less spontaneous erections, can't focus as well, etc.

    And by the way, I wouldn't worry too much about the porn blockers, you can have them, but know that they're not going to absolutely prevent you from accessing porn, they'll just slow you down and make you think twice about relapsing. I personally use the blocker OpenDNS because it filters to all devices on my Wi-fi, even things like Xbox and iPhone.

    Stay strong!
     
  4. John32

    John32 Member

    Re: My Journey begins here and i will not fail

    Hey man we have all been or are currently going through what you are going through just keep pushing through be determined and don't give up and hopefully soon you will return to the once happy and confident guy you once were. We all in the struggle to beat this addiction so don't feel like you're alone in this brother. Good luck
     
  5. Master3

    Master3 You control your life

    Re: My Journey begins here and i will not fail

    Day: 5-7: Just came home, morning wood are there but not full erection, i accidently saw a porn picture, but i still didn't get any erection from it, but thats what im trying to fix and i know it will take time, i have been close on fixing it and i will come there again and hopefully this time i succseed. Since i started porn it's become hard to concentrate(imagine) about anything beside porn scenes i saw, but i feel like thats fadding away. The last porn type i escalated to before Normal porn was Shemale/Transsexual porn, but i feel my desire for that are fadding away too. Gotta contunue my journey, school starts soon and if i would end up gettin laid i wanna make them come back for more ;D . Sports and school will keep me busy from porn.
     
  6. Master3

    Master3 You control your life

    Re: My Journey begins here and i will not fail

    Its kind of impossible to stop access to porn, tried everything to block but theres always a loop hole and i know to much about internet,proxy and those things to bypass it, and my phone is hard to block. i just gotta be strong and do this. No PMO so far,
     
  7. Master3

    Master3 You control your life

    Re: 15, My Journey begins here and im determined

    Relapsed yestarday, the thought come to me. But i dont feel guilt and i will contunue to try and stop, i know what porn does to me but i still go back to it........... basketball and school starts soon and that will help speed things up. Well another try then, 10 days first time on this site, but best is 22 days ,3 times. Lets beat that.
     
  8. Master3

    Master3 You control your life

    Re: 15, My Journey begins here and im determined

    Just came home after basketball, this week gonna be busy, got 2 trainings every day, that will keep me busy and not think about porn. Today while on way home i walked past this girl, i notice, i looked at her and she looked at me, but i didn't really think about it. And after she walked pass me, the only thing i was thinking was to stop her and talk to her, but she had walked away and my bus was on way, but i hate the feeling of regret. I know if i didn't watch porn thoughts like this would come to my head that i should talk to her while its to late, because i had those when i stopped porn. I gotta beat this before the year ends and hopefully i succeed on the goal that i have. And school starts soon so i would be more busy.
     
  9. Master3

    Master3 You control your life

    Re: 15, My Journey begins here and im determined

    Day: 2-4 So, i have been busy the latest days with basketball practise and that has gotten my mind out of porn, even though i relapsed i have morning wood everyday, it didnt go away. Today i stayed home, i was close on relapsing, my mind kept on saying just do it but i resisted and i added some filters to phone and mobile to make it harder to relapse, but removed them after because i wanna get by this without filters. I think im in flatline, this early, i accidently saw some porn picture when i was setting up filters and couldn't get any hard, maybe because i removed it directly or flatline. Im expecting random erections to appear somewhat around day 15. School starts next wednessday, so will meet my classmates again and school will keep me busy and speed up the process, hopefully im strong enough to not relapse till then.
     
  10. Master3

    Master3 You control your life

    Re: 15, My Journey begins here and im determined

    Day: 5 Been at home the latest 2 days, started raining so cant go out but maybe later. Havent had any urges today alll been cool, but im getting mood swings, i get eritated and angry easy, dont know if im at that part of rewire yet or not. Just got to contunue and beat this.
     
  11. Overlord

    Overlord Guest

    Re: 15, My Journey begins here and im determined

    you have to distract your brain to control the urges. abstract thinking. when you re feeling urges have a conversation with yourself about a subject nothing related to sex of course and your urges will fade and disapear ;)
     
  12. Master3

    Master3 You control your life

    Re: 15, My Journey begins here and im determined

    Yeah i know that, thats what im doing right now, everytime sexual fantasies appear i try to shut them off, but latelly i dont get any sexual fantasies.
     
  13. Overlord

    Overlord Guest

    Re: 15, My Journey begins here and im determined

    having the right mindset is very important too
     
  14. Master3

    Master3 You control your life

    Re: 15, My Journey begins here and im determined

    Day: 6. no urges yet, school starts in 3 days, it feels like time is going slower now so the days are taking longer. I accidently saw another picture of porn and closed it. i didn't get turned on by it that much. Im pretty sure its flatline already, i dont get aroused by anything and my feelings are little empty when im alone. I will reset my view of porn counter if i watch any porn videos or that i search for a picture and look at it without removing it. I gotta beat this.
    And the thing is some weeks ago i think i lost my sense of humor, before i would laugh easily and now i dont, pranks on youtube or so doesn't make me laugh anymore, none, i know its not because its not funny but i think something happened to me, not sure if it was porn or me groing up, but i sure hope it was porn, i cant enjoy and laugh at pranks anymore it sucks.
     
  15. Master3

    Master3 You control your life

    Re: 15, 1 year trying to recover

    Day: 7. Ive had random erctions the whole day, i have one even know when im writing this. The urges are coming and telling me to see some porn pictures, i havent done it yet but im afraid that i will and if i do i will reset my view of porn counter.

    Went out to play basketball with a group of people, actually now the urges arent there anymore. Helped to get rid of them.
     
  16. Master3

    Master3 You control your life

    Re: 15 years old. 1 year trying to recover

    Its been 2 weeks without Porn and M. My morning woods are appearing everyday, and im starting to get sexual dreams, so thats good. My mood swings are dissapearing already, i dont get angry easily as the begining of the first week. I have spent most time in school and playing basketball this week, so my mind havent though of porn that much. Ive had small urges but nothing that i couldn't beat down, otherwise the counter would be at 0 right now.
    1 thing that is giving me motivation too is Picats3141 ( http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=5067.0 ) , he has went 15 days and im trying to keep up with him too.

    Yestarday while searching on youtube how porn affects your brain for more information, i came up with a documentary video of pornografi users, and they got to meet their favorite porn stars, see them in action and talk to them ( Sex censored, but their genitals sometimes not ). It opened my eyes about porn industry and how things are when they make those videos, it kind of killed my porn drive, so porn isnt in my mind that much. If you want to watch the video, be aware that there are people having sex in the video, but its not viewable and Genetials are shown too. But its a documentary. ( If you are afraid that it might make you relapse or so maybe you shouldn't watch it ). Link: youtube.com/watch?v=kREb719n_3Q . opened my eyes and i believe it can do it for most porn users who watch the video.
     
  17. Master3

    Master3 You control your life

    Re: 15 years old. 1 year trying to recover

    Today after peeing i started getting Seamon leakage? is it normal? cause all the other times i did my reboots to 20 days i got a wet dream but never Leakage?
     
  18. Overlord

    Overlord Guest

    Re: 15 years old. 1 year trying to recover

    thats normal dont worry
     
  19. Master3

    Master3 You control your life

    Re: 15 years old. 1 year trying to recover

    Ah ok,

    One of these days i will probably have a wet dream. Havent had a wet dream since i started porn 2-3 years ago, remember it being kind of messy so not looking forward to that, but yeah, cant stop it.

    School days feels like they take forever even though its its only been 1 week, im still contunueng my pogress, i havent had any urges and i dont get any thoughts about porn, the porn pattern is gone but it can easily come back if i start watching porn again.
     
  20. John32

    John32 Member

    Re: 15 years old. 1 year trying to recover

    You seem to be making excellent progress soo far, keep at it no matter how hard it gets and you will recover from this sooner than you think man. Good luck
     

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