Today's The Day - Success Story! Total Fetish (Femdom) ED Overcome!

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by GoingToSucceed, Jun 4, 2016.

  1. Robane

    Robane Member

    Congrats on your success!
     
  2. Hi Hammer to the Crotch, thanks for your comment, it's nice to hear the challenges I've faced can inspire others. I totally understand the 'single lifestyle' though just be careful you don't fall into the trap of hiding behind that. For a while during reboots I'd get nice long streaks and probably expect to see more progress than I did but of course every time I'd relapse I'd then use it as a reason not to pursue real women which in hindsight was a huge mistake. By all means start a decent length reboot but just make sure at some point you throw yourself out there and just have a go.

    Good luck mate, I've also posted quite a look in the femdom recovery group with quite a lot of strategies and things I've used to get past the problems I've encountered as it's not always been a seamless transition.
     
  3. Thanks very much Robane!
     
  4. Just a brief update...

    Definitely finding since I've cut out relapses for a significant amount of time that femdom random thoughts are less and less and my erection strength has improved and locks in so much better than while I was relapsing here or there. Have managed to have sex with the hardest erection ever for 40+ minutes the other week.

    I guess the point of this post is just to show that even after initial and early success that the longer you stick with things the progress does continue.
     
  5. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    Amazing man. Please do not lose touch with us. Everyday of your life from here on out is a success story and super motivating to depraved souls like us.
     
  6. Thanks, am happy to try and give hope, especially where femdom sufferers or even any fetish sufferer is concerned because the principal there is much the same - if you've fixated on one thing too much you've got not just PIED but a serious case of conditioning that needs to be retrained. Success sure doesn't happen over night but it's far less confronting and difficult than many of us make out in mind because of our 'failings.' Truth is my first lot of successful sex happened quite easily, sure it was quick and probably not amazing for my partner but it's very much something you get better and better at, long as you stay off porn/femdom. I've had probably bigger issues with letting performance anxiety set me back but long as you stick with things and communicate with partners/lovers/whoever you can get through it.

    Good luck with your own reboot, stay strong.
     
  7. WhackAttack

    WhackAttack New Member

    Hey GoingToSucceed, I actually read your post a couple years ago and found it so relatable that I'd say it was one of the things that forced me to explore the cause of my problems and begin my journey. That being said, its quite a coincidence that I happened to stumble across it again 9 months into my reboot and just after I created my account.

    I too had almost exclusively watched femdom porn from my young teenage years, an idea that repulses me now. The past nine months have been an incredible wild ride, I have dealt with all kinds of emotional and mental difficulties including severe depression and complete apathy. My dick has been almost completely lifeless as well, I have had streaks where it has returned briefly just to disappear again and was in fact very happy the other day when I had my first wet dream that involved actual vanilla sex. Despite all this I am very hopeful and accept that it will be a while until I am fully healed. I have two questions for you.

    Have you too had any emotional difficulties through your journey? sudden onsets of depression/hopelessness? (I personally have found this to be the most challenging thin to deal with.)

    And do you have any general advice for someone who believes he is in a similar situation to yourself?

    Your story has really helped me put my own into perspective, thankyou.
     
  8. Hi WhackAttack, sorry about my slow reply, I've been battling some health issues lately which involves constant dizziness so being at the computer is damn near impossible. After more than a month I seem to be starting to see some recovery so figured I'd chime in and try respond all be it briefly.

    Emotional difficulties? Not really no aside from when I'd relapse after a good streak I'd feel a bit down mostly due to fucking up over something stupid and fearing set back, fortunately most of this was truly just in my head and never did that much damage.

    The good news I guess in some senses is my dick has been mostly dead for so much of the time, even now that I'm able to have sex etc I don't think it's as easy responding sometimes but then again the confusing stuff is more how much of my own perception of what things should be is just because of porn use? Eg used to be able to go right to femdom stuff and get hard and a huge rush instantly, these days foreplay takes a bit longer to get fully erect so sometimes I panic thinking I'm not going to work when the reality is I just need to take it slower and women prefer that anyway so it's actually a good thing somewhat. In fact I've had no sex drive the last month really due to my illness but it come back yesterday and I had the strongest heaviest locking erection I'd say I've ever had. It took a bit to get there but once it was in it was rock hard and didn't go down even after cumming for a good 10 minutes. Finally it woke me up in the middle of the night so I'm still very much making improvements by staying off porn and continuing just to have sex with my girl.

    I've also found that I do feel a bit more desire for general hot girls I see, like crave to fuck them which is pretty new overall as years gone by I wouldn't have understood that desire at all. I guess the point I'm making is it can take time to really reset and get back, I'm on a really good path at the moment and don't think about porn really so improvement continues. Who knows at what point would I say I'm fully cured, I've stopped thinking about it really as I can have sex, girlfriend and I are now living together so its fair to say things are great and 3-4 years back I was doomed to thinking I'd be single looking for femdom women on the net forever.

    Anyway best advice I can give is STAY PATIENT and just KEEP TRYING no matter how depressed or down you feel at the time as you can and will get there. Beyond that you really need to stay off porn and attempt to rewire after a good streak, I held back for far too long thinking I needed a never ending streak when really that was mostly unnecessary and I was just hiding behind my fears of failure. In the end if you try and dont feel anything yet just take a bit longer to abstain then try again, there's a plethora of excuses you can give to save embarassment if you aren't comfortable telling anyone what you are battling.

    Hope this helps, ask anything else you like, I might be slow to respond but I'll try get there always.
     
  9. WhackAttack

    WhackAttack New Member

    Hi, thanks a lot this really helped. I really haven't rewired very much which is something I need to work on. I've been trying to avoid tinder because I see it as a bit f a trigger but to be honest I think i'm at a point now where I can handle it.
     
  10. Naruto558

    Naruto558 Member

    Do you think that being addicted to femdom porn helped you in rewring to a real woman faster? You weren't addicted to a girl on a screen but instead you were addicted to femdom. This should have made the transition to real sex faster since you weren't really addicted to sex in the first place.
     
  11. It's a really really good question. I actually tend to think it may have made it a bit easier, initially when I was absolutely starved of sexual outlet after long periods of abstinence. My first sex on the way out of PIED actually occurred easy, as did erections from pretty much hand holding and kissing. Obviously as those things become more normal I've found getting erections harder these days though the difference being when I take it slow and build up the erection truly locks in and isn't going to disappear easily.

    Don't get me wrong however, I still faced challenges with performance anxiety and just generally not feeling as excited as I feel I should though again that comes in part back to fears so less able to just enjoy it. Throw in just how odd sex felt and feeling lost as to what I should be doing lol. The thing about my problems of the past is there's so many elements but I'm definitely living proof that the biggest femdom/fetish addicts can open the pathways to partake in vanilla sex. I still find femdom a turn on so I believe it's just a part of who I am but the really important thing is it has no control or power over me. I don't need it, I don't often think about it, if a trigger comes I can pretty easily just push it away and remind myself I want to only have sex with real women.
     
  12. Naruto558

    Naruto558 Member

    Wtf ... I thought you said the fetish got less and less as you kept having sex without relapsing
     
  13. Naruto558

    Naruto558 Member

    Do u think it will go away permenatly? I consider myself somewhat submissive. However everytime I masterbate I end up getting turned on by the porn I escalated to. (Cuckold ect. ). This was not there before porn. Will I be able to masterbate to my mild submissive fantasies when I've rebooted ?
     
  14. The fetish is significantly less but it doesn't mean not existent. You have to remember I went from a life time of femdom indulgence and I'm talking young, my first masturbation was to femdom fantasy even though I didn't know what it was hence why I tend to think its partly innate for me.

    As for do I think it will go away permanently? I don't think it will for me, I've mostly been off femdom for a long time and yet if the right situation presents or even my mind drifts and it pops up I still enjoy it. You know what? That's ok with me, I can totally manage with having a bit of an odd fetish long as I'm not dependent on it and can choose a vanilla sex life. Still I think if this is all you are taking out of my journey and just hoping for a magic fix from quitting porn then you're really not approaching it right, I've made such insane progress, going back 3 years the idea of even having sex was nothing but a pipe dream. Maybe in time the rest of the fetish will disappear totally, I honestly don't care because I'm in control of my own destiny now.

    As for the masturbate question, I am able to masturbate to total vanilla fantasy or just simply to touch alone so I would imagine once you abstain from femdom for a serious amount of time you'll be able to do the same. Best advice to give is to not masturbate at all and when you need to eventually or decide you want to take your time, focus only a vanilla fantasy over a real girl you know as I believe this helped kick start my libido for vanilla stuff a tiny bit or at the very least didn't reinforce femdom.

    Hope this helps. Good luck.
     
  15. Naruto558

    Naruto558 Member

    Damn..... so it doesn't away. I hate this shit so FUCKING much. Do you relapse from femdom from time to time? I have ocd and everytime I would feel humiliated or hurt I would dwell on it and go and masturbate. I feel like that's how it I build the connection in my mind .
     
  16. Naruto558

    Naruto558 Member

    Oh well hopefully it goes away. If not that's alright I can't wait to have a loving gf and complete all my goals . Do you notice more confidence and less anxiety ?
     
  17. Well I'm only one case man, there are plenty of cases guys say their fetishes totally go away, we're all different so just assuming you're going to be the same as me or any other guy is a bit silly. Just focus on going through the process, stay clean as possible and good things will happen. I've relapsed from time to time so no doubt that does help retain some link between femdom and pleasure. As far as confidence and anxiety go no there's been no change, I never suffered with anxiety so personally have no porn links with that. Main thing I do notice these days is I feel a bit more animalistic and desire to fuck hot women I see walking around, years back I never would have had that feeling.
     
  18. Naruto558

    Naruto558 Member

    thank you, one more question does your erection? strength get weaker if you relapse ?
     
  19. I found it did or that it become harder to get erect. I'm a bit on the fence if this is in part in my head simply over analyzing, thinking, worrying or whether it really did it. Mostly I don't really know because I've found performance anxiety prob as bad as PIED because at times I over concentrate and think about getting hard which actually stifles the ability to do so. Either way I've stayed mostly clean for quite a long while and now when my erection fully locks in its really fucking hard and doesn't just disappear quick. I do find that simple things like being tired prevent that from happening sometimes so in some instances there's a more normal explanation for things than just porn.
     
  20. Naruto558

    Naruto558 Member

    I can get through the days easily,but my fear that i wont get erect while rewiring is still there. Do you have any advice?
     

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