Time to take care of myself and then of others

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by thedrownedworld, Oct 19, 2016.

  1. I agree. I think no m is the next stage... ive been doing it less but now is time to push through... how are you doing atm?
     
  2. I relapsed yesterday. It started with only looking at some websites; but as we all know, that is like playing with fire. I eventually caved in and I pmod.... The reason was after going running and trying to do writing which I didnt think was very good; I then gave into my craving for pmo to "relax" me and to make feel less crap about myself... its a way of making try and escape... but its never worth it... I was then very tempted to binge but luckily I decided not to and then had work so did not have time to dwell on it :)... It's very tricky working from home; Anyway lesson learnt... no more playing with fire.
    I worked out that I have pmod three times in 43 days which is definitely an improvement... Now I want to stop masturbating or having sex...
    day 1
     
  3. Relapsed a couple of times today - im really not quite sure why - I dont remember losing motivation... It seems when I decided not M anymore that really made it difficult for me - that somehow combined with physical exercise... Im making an audition video for a masters degree course and that made me pretty stressed... Anyway super frustrated that I use this shit as a drug still.... anyway gotta push on learn from this...

    no more unlocking the porn block
    go out and do more things - anyway thats far away from a computer...

    anyway here we go again... really started to think im never going to get past this addiction - feeling confused :(
     
  4. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    Mate,
    Don't feel confused. You ARE on the right way. You do want to get rid of PMO, so you try new techniques, new things to do so. It's not at all the same domain, but, for example, Thomas Edison failed 10000 times before to succeed to invent the bulb. He NEVER gave up. He said that he only found 9999 methods that don't work, that's all ;). So as long as you don't give up and continue to learn about yourself, to try new experiments to avoid PMO, etc, you're improving yourself don't worry, even if you don't realize it.
    So if stopping PMO AND MO leads you to finally more PMO, so, from what I think, try to avoid PMO (without watching P of course), and allow you to MO when the pressure is too high, but "sanely", without fantasizing to P girls. That worked for me during long months, so it can be, in a first time, a good compromise.
    This is my opinion about it. Let's see my friend.
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2017
  5. Thanks Outsider, I appreciate your support as always...

    Today is my first day without pmo; I've realised that when im under pressure (right now im making an audition video) I tend to resort to pmo.. I am really grateful in someways for this recent relapse because now I can see that my recent good run was also helped but my lack of stress and now I realise another trigger is when I have to up my game to improve my life. (somewhere deep down I do not feel I am good enough and going for my dreams so I tend pmo to dilute this uncomfortable feeling)
    day 1 complete
     
  6. FuturePerfect

    FuturePerfect Member

    I suspect obsessing over "X days without PMO" can become frustrating when the goals are long. Do you keep the PMO spreadsheet? It probably displays your progress better.

    Also, although we talk about "not porn" here in this forum, set "not PMO" as the only goal and only thought in the mind is akin to pro PMO. Think on your goals, those very activities who you want to do better instead of PMO and the more you work them, the more you are into them, you're be automatically less into PMO. Ask me how I know.
     
  7. I relapsed again. This week has been really quite frustrating... I wanted to feel numb and It did the trick and made me escape... Sadly it also affected my work and made me tired and lethargic. day 1 (i had 23 day streak only 5 days ago - need to push and not be complacent...) No more empty promises I need to to prove with action...
     
  8. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    Just get back on the horse mate. Relapse, as some wrote me on my journal, are part of the reboot. We've been struggling for years, decades even with that, so we won't definitely erase it from ours lives overnight.
    Come back in the fight,and get up again and again every time you fall my friend.
    Take care.
     
  9. So I relapsed today again... Its been a bad couple of weeks.. pretty much being clean for like 2 days and then I relapse and Ive just sort of stopped caring... but I do care.. just need to find a way...
     
  10. im on day 2. Been keeping busy which has been good. Quite hungover today so need to be on the watch out for a relapse.... Im confident im going to push through today though
     
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  11. Day 4.
    Not trying to lie to myself anymore. This is tough dude. Just when you think youve got it you aint got it. I have been busy and this is so beneficial.
     
  12. Day 7

    Feeling really pleased I made it to 7 days. I went through a really bad patch recently... I still sometimes get tempted just to go on a page like a automated response to being on the computer....
    anyway i do have the urges quite badly but im pushing through
     
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  13. Thebeg

    Thebeg Active Member

    Good job, a week is really nice.
     
  14. thanks man!!
     
  15. I recently watched this video by the school of life about p addiction. It was pretty good. What really stuck with me after watching it was(which is I suppose an obvious observation) the reason we become addicted is because we are sad. Though this seems very simple; I realise in someways ive been trying so hard to just achieve things (meaning putting my head in the sand) that ive forgotten to face myself, which in essence leads to me being unable take care of myself or love myself. I am going to start meditating daily and try not to let the pressure of my own high standards stop my own inner peace.
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2017
    Outsider. and Thebeg like this.
  16. I was doing pretty good... but then yesterday I was wanting to relax and I was sleep deprived so i sort of gave in... this is really a hollistic thing... Ive got to sort my sleep/ my health and find ways to relax...
     
  17. Thebeg

    Thebeg Active Member

    Yes, sleep is so important. Being sleep deprived makes us more prone to give in to short term pleasures. For example, if you're putting a lot of work in eating healthy, it's easier to go for fast food when you haven't slept enough. Same with masturbation.

    Get a pattern going where exercise, food, sleep, etc. are all covered and in balance. Try to keep that balanced situation going for as long as possible.
     
  18. It really is. I think im going to try and meditate morning and evening... I need find a routine.
     

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