Hello. It's been... a long time. Two years if we don't count the last brief visit. Nothing has changed, really, except possibly for the worse. I don't know if it was this bad even before I found my way here. I've had the occasional week-long breaks, but a constant factor has been the weekends. Just like always before. I always told myself I'd come back here once I'd reached 10 days, for the shame of constantly relapsing made me avoid coming here. Yeah, that didn't work. I more or less chose to relapse just so I wouldn't have to come back. I've pretty much planned my weekends around PMO. That considered, why am I posting again? Well, it's clear that I cannot quit on my own. Despite falling to the bottom, the voice nagging that PMO is the wrong thing to do has been ever present. I cannot ignore it any longer. So here I am, dusting off the old journal again. I will try to write quite often, even if it's forced. It's got to begin somewhere.