The "No Arousal" Method - Celibacy of Body AND Mind

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by bigbookofpenis, Oct 28, 2013.

  1. bigbookofpenis

    bigbookofpenis New Member

    EDIT - FOR NEWCOMERS> since this forum has grown into a very very long one (totally my fault writing too long posts) - reading through the whole thread, post by post may take several hours - i believe more addicts should try No Arousal Method but too few are ready to devote several hours to reading through all my "philosophical" and "off topic" babbling - so i decided to make available several waypoints around so you can read only the essential "theory behind the method" and get you going in no-time - this way you unfortunatelly miss other people's posts, so i encourage you to come back and read the whole thread, to get the detailed picture and other people's valuable thoughts and viewpoints…but if you want to test-drive the No Arousal Method on yourself ASAP, before devoting several hours to read the whole thread, this is what your should read… its still a lot of reading anyway but i think its worth it - the confidence in No Arousal Method and this whole thread, is the fact it got me to 200 days of NoPMO (May 2014) and still going strong... i went back and numbered all my posts in this thread - the essential core theory is everything in posts {1}, {2}, {3}, than you can read a bit about how i viewed girls on street - the typical instincts of most PORN ADDICTS in post {6}, than you can skip to my atempt of FAQ of No Arousal Method on post {17} and last, but not least, make 100% sure to read about the phenomenon of "oogling" - posts {32} up to {36} - and why it is ABSOLUTELLY ESSENTIAL to understand dangers of "oogling" to suceed with the No Arousal Method… when you get the theory behind No Arousal Method and "oogling" and you wish to know how it feels like, practicing No Arousal Method daily and what you can expect to gain and loose (the ups and downs), read {39}… thats all and you are good to go… good luck and if the No Arousal Method works for you, please stop by to say hello, so others know its good stuff...


    {1}

    I have a feeling that stopping PMO is not enough to reboot your brain succesfully if your lack of physical stimulation pushes you within 2-3 weeks to extreme feelings of UNBEARABLE HORNINESS and tendencies to COMPULSIVELY OOGLE every passing women on the streets and UNCONTROLABLE MENTAL FANTASIES and MENTAL PREOCUPATION with sex and female body as a result of undischarged sexual energy !

    Basically on NoPMO you are FEELING SOOO HORNY YOU WOULD FUCK A GOAT and although you stoped all OUTSIDE physical stimulation, INSIDE your brain and mind is fully occupied by thinking about sex and erotica 24/7. You are not really giving your brain any break from sex if you stop PMO but inside continue to compulsively think about sex in your mind. Creating mental images - these can be as strong as watching PORN. You literally play mental PORN images in your head. I always had this experience that NoPMO hightened frequency of my sexual fantasies 1000% and the vividity of these mental images was also enhanced 1000%. I stoped PMO but when i walked down the street i was literaly bumping into lamp posts because i was oogling every bum and waste line of every woman under 50 :) My brain was so horny - literally ON FIRE.

    I saw this incredible document from Channel 4 - Porn On The Brain

    It shows images of brain taken by fMRI (magnetic resonance images of brain activity in various regions) conducted with HEROIN ADDICTS... just by showing these HEROIN ADDICTS a visual image related to HEROIN (like a 2D picture of syringe or picture of heroin powder) activated their brain regions responsible for addiction and craving - in fact the addicts brain lights up like christmas tree. Same goes for any addiction and craving - FOOD, SEX, ALCOHOL, GAMBLING, DRUGS... because all these addicitive and craved substances or activities are basically using the same brain pathway to get your attention and anticipation...

    So its not enough to stop viewing PORN to reboot addicted brain if its still being fed visual cues - watching all the hot girls on mainstream TV, TABLOIDS, BILLBOARDS, LEAFLETS, POSTERS, NEWS REPORTS, etc.

    The fMRI clearly show that for an addicted brain a mere distant visual cue (a 2D image) can trigger intensive craving response for the addictive substance or activity...

    http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/pornography-addiction-leads-to-same-brain-activity-as-alcoholism-or-drug-abuse-study-shows-8832708.html

    http://yourbrainonporn.com/cambridge-university-brain-scans-find-porn-addiction

    Also watch Channel 4 documentary that talks about this fMRI study - Porn On The Brain (if the link is dead search it on YouTube)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCpFtACuHy8

    So iam currently trying to quit my porn addiction by following a very strict regime i named NoA (No Arousal) its an extension of NoPMO. I dont watch Porn, i dont Masturbate, i dont Orgasm AND ON TOP OF THESE USUAL PHYSICAL RESTRICTIONS I TRY TO PREVENT MY BRAIN FROM VIEWING OR THINKING OF ANY EROTIC or AROUSING CONTENT. CRAZY ??? I MANAGED 14 DAYS SO FAR AND GOING RELATIVELY STRONG WITH NO RELAPSE.

    I try not to arouse myself in any way by looking or thinking about erotica, sex or women. Remember this is not forever, its for 3-6 months, maybe more depending how it will progress.

    1) Ouside my house iam walking down the street mostly looking on my feet and pavement to avoid gazing on girls.
    2) When my eyes spot a nice girl i look away or turn my head other way.
    3) Similarily when i spot a 2D image of nice girl (on LCD monitor, website, TV, billboards, posters, bus stops) i look away or close the webpage immediatelly.

    CRAZY ??? I dont think so iam just trying to act like my mind is a private christian or budhist monastery with 100% celibacy. I dont let any erotic or sexual cues to enter my private monastery.

    4) When my mind starts to create erotic mental images and fantasies on its own i close my eyes and focus on breathing and shift attention from chattering mind into my body (sensing and feeling my heart, belly, pelvis) this active sensing and feeling of body and breath shifts mind attention from your chattering and fantasizing head down inside your breathing and contracting/expanding body - i stay focused on my breath and heart/belly/pelvis with closed eyes until the fantasies fade away or get managable and than i open eyes and focus on immediate inanimate surroundings (floor, buildings, chairs, tables, furniture) to keep the mind attention busy - this ussually helps overcome sudden sexual or erotic fantasies or mental imagery coming up on its own inside your chattering head...

    IN FACT BY WIDENING THE CELIBACY FROM PHYSICAL BODY (NoPMO) TO MIND (NoA - No Arousing visuals, fantasies, cues)

    1) ITS EASIER TO PREVENT PHYSICAL RELAPSE IN THE LONG RUN IN MY OPINION, because you are realy giving your addicted brain complete rest from sex (physical or mental) and chance to forget the addicitve activity or fade away to managable intensity. Allowing your mind to play mental porn images in your fantasy is like a form of mental relapse every time you let your addicted brain to freely indulge in vivid fantasies of hardcore sex - dont beat yourself over it but learn to distract and divert your mind away from erotic or porn fantasies. At least for the healing period of 3+ months.

    NOW FOR THE GREAT NEWS - WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO NoA

    It was proven using fMRI again that HEROIN ADDICTS who were clean of the drug for 6 months were still showing strong brain activity when they were shown visual cues of the addictive substance (HEROIN), but HEROIN ADDICTS who were clean of the drug for 12 months were showing MUCH LESS brain activity when they were shown the same visual cues of the addictive substance (HEROIN) - SO BRAIN CAN FORGET ADDICTIONS AND CURE ITSELF OF CRAVING WITH TIME - the addiction and craving if not provoked by visual cues or fantasies GRADUALLY FADES AWAY after 6 to 12 months

    THATS GREAT NEWS - WHEN YOU LITERALY STARVE YOUR ADDICTIVE AND CRAVING REGIONS OF BRAIN OF ANY AROUSAL OR SEX (PHYSICAL AND MENTAL) THEY FADE DOWN TO PRE-ADDICITVE LEVELS AFTER 6-12 MONTHS

    ILL START WITH 3 MONTHS OF NoA FOR START AND SEE HOW MUCH THE ADDICTION AND CRAVING FADES AWAY but i think just quiting PMO and leaving your addicted brain being bombarded 24/7 by erotic imagery from mainstream TV, TABLOIDS and seeing hot girls on streets wearing miniskirts ignites so much MENTAL IMAGES in addicted brains that the brain never gets a proper rest to FORGET... it keeps playing PORN 24/7 in fantasy.

    Thats what religious celibacy and real monasteries are for - total elimination of visual cues + plenty of time to meditate and learn to control your mind when it wants to wander and fantasise about naughty things - you dont have MTV in monasteries and there are no girls walking up and down their gardens in miniskirts.

    You must create a private monastery inside your head and prevent any AROUSING CONTENT from entering from outside (visual cues) or develop inside your head (internal fantasies and memories). Remember this celibacy is not FOREVER but minimum 3 months is very advisable, ideally for 6 months or 12 months if you are really PORN / SEX addicted. For the period you must really shield your mind from outside visual cues and develop mental techniques and tricks to keep your mind from wandering and fantasizing, to give your brain as well as your body the needed rest to FORGET the addiction... althought it will never be 100% FORGOTTEN, the extensive NoA approach is much more thorough and deep than just physical NoPMO alone.

    It must be celibacy of body AND MIND.
     
  2. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Re: NoA (No Arousal - celibacy of body AND MIND for 3+ months)

    Great thread man.

    Me and many others have been preaching this for months now.

    We really shouldn't be thinking about sex at all.

    Either try to get laid (approach women, initiate conversations, flirt with girls, set up dates, try to bring them home, etc) or do something completely unrelated to sex (work, study, exercise, hobbies, hanging out with friends, learning new stuff, leisure, etc).

    There's no gray area where you're there alone thinking about sex or women. Erotic thoughts accomplish nothing. They only increases the urge to masturbate. They keep your mind preocupied with fucking, tits, asses, hot chicks, etc.

    And I don't believe this is something we should adopt this for 3, 6 or 12 months. I think we should adopt this mentality for the rest of our lives.

    You want sex? Great, then go out and try to get laid. Otherwise stop feeding your mind with sexual thoughts.

    Either fuck or fuck not.

    There is no fantasize.
     
  3. carpe_moment

    carpe_moment Guest

    Re: NoA (No Arousal - celibacy of body AND MIND for 3+ months)

    I want this on a t-shirt:

     
  4. bigbookofpenis

    bigbookofpenis New Member

    Re: NoA (No Arousal - celibacy of body AND MIND for 3+ months)

    {2}

    Yeap, the god-mode :)

    Life-long NoA and geting physical stimulation and orgasms only with real girls.

    THATS THE CANONICAL SEXUAL ALPHA-MALE (and there is nothing bad or exploitative about being sexually confident and experienced - thats what all girls ask for - to have focused, confident, experienced yet passionate and desiring guy in their bad)

    And i do believe girls subconsciousy sense if man lives by NoA and NoPM. Its all interconected balance and dance of hormones, neurotransmitters aka mood, cchi energy within male body that women subconsciously pick up on primal level.

    HOWEVER this is all fine and dandy if you grow up like this, naturally in teenage. You sort of skip the hardcore porn phase and naturally start to date girls learning the ropes of dating and sex step by step in a learning curve.

    UNFORTUNATELY most man on this forum are broken. You cant just forget years of PORN abuse and become Johnny Depp - the cool, considerate, hot guy. It doesnt work like that. Your psyche is litearly traumatized and haunted by all that nasty hardcore porn. Your brain is disfunctional on neuronal level. Your body is depleted by years of energetic disbalance. Your self-image is most likely a wreck riddled with false hopes, ideas and values about sex, women, dating and partnership.

    SO I TOTALLY AGREE WE SHOULD STRIVE FOR LIFE-LONG NoA / NoPM

    However after 19 years of PORN abuse (yes its insane) i resorted to this extreme purge of body and mind not dissimilar to religious hunger-strike and i know i will need every bit of strength to slay every single day of this journey, so i prefer to leave some allowance and open-end as how long i will survive...

    I think that in a way SEX and PORN addictions are more complicated than HEROIN addiction. Because afterall HEROIN is foreign substance, totally useless to the body. But try to get rid of too much masturbation and orgasm. Its like limiting your elementary sense of joy and happiness in human life - the sexual excitement - the mother nature's motivation and drive - the sense of all living things - the most potent emotion. A sense of joy and happiness in a grey texture of addicted brain. Sometimes i feel that when i try so hard to banish PORN masturbation and orgasms out of my life i will be left with nothing else to live for. Its a classical dead-end of all addicts. You try to cure yourself out of something that is most likely giving you the most pleasure in your life. ITS CATCH-22. YOU WANT IT OUT OF YOUR LIFE BUT ITS THE MOST PLEASURABLE THING IN YOUR LIFE AT THE MOMENT. If you suceed what are you left with - a big black hole instead of the thing that was your only escape and hope - sense of joy, comfort, happiness - meaning of life ? in case of SEX literally - thats why it is so addictive and yet so essential to human nature. Cutting this off is going to hurt really bad.

    today i scribled this note of courage and strength for next 3 months:

    What you are doing is probably MOST DANGEROUS AND PAINFULL act in your whole life. You are literally starving your brain's EXCITEMENT CENTER - sex, food, sugar, alcohol - you are actively preventing EXCITEMENT - JOY from entering your brain. After 19 years you are attacking the very core sense of MEANING OF YOUR LIFE - addiction to sexual excitement. The danger of loosing motivation to live and plunge into MOST PAINFULL DEPRESSION is extreme.

    Still i believe complete NoA is the only way to lasting recovery, albeit a bit drastical.
     
  5. brainslave

    brainslave Guest

    Re: NoA (No Arousal - celibacy of body AND MIND for 3+ months)

    I think it's an exaggeration. Looking away when seeing a girl? ... No way... at least for me. I'm here to cure Porn addiction an MO addiction. Some sexual transmutation is bonus.


    Numb myself to female energy, I don't want that. Stop fantasizing... Actually I don't want that neither.


    But I think its great that people bring higher level of ideas to this blog. Certainly this NoA thing can be interesting to try. If I had to try it, I would rather exile in a forest somewhere in new Hampshire (like in breaking Bad) and cut myself from society. That would be a more natural form of NoA. But turning my head away every time I see a female under 50 in a metro, or every time I see a goat... NO... that's even creepier than ever.
     
  6. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    Re: NoA (No Arousal - celibacy of body AND MIND for 3+ months)

    Sounds like conditioning yourself to be asexual. Either end of the spectrum is not good but completely removing sexual thoughts is not realistic. Especially if your single, rebooting and are coming off porn.

    I think its as unrealistic as telling people they need 6 months no orgasm to heal ED.
     
  7. bigbookofpenis

    bigbookofpenis New Member

    Re: NoA (No Arousal - celibacy of body AND MIND for 3+ months)

    {3}

    As a part of preserving as much of my mental energy during the healing period, i said to myself i wont be hanging around these forums as much during those 3 months. Because IMHO excesive overanalyzing and rumination about the PORN, SEX even with fellow supporters is energy draining. I need every bit of mental energy to fight the urges and not write lengthy threads about them. However much i would love to analyze and research every bit and angle with you guys. So dont take it as ignorance but according to my plan "talking about SEX and PORN on this wonderfull page with all you wonderfull borthers in arms IS THINKING ABOUT PORN AND SEX AFTERALL" and i want to keep that to a minimum for next 3 months :)

    So i will keep my answers as short as possible and leave the OPENING POST TO SPEAK FOR ITSELF and others to comment on CONS or PROS of the NoA approach. I must agree so far with what TheUnderDog said.

    To brainslave:
    Numb myself to female energy, I don't want that. Stop fantasizing... Actually I don't want that neither.

    Its not forever, its for 3 months to begin with and than i will see if my addiction and craving for "female energy" as you eloquently called it has gone from unhealthy levels to normal levels of guys who dont have PORN binging problems... I think the seriousnes of my 19 years of addiction calls for strong action and 100% DETOX of body and mind from "female energy" or as i would call it "female energy cravings and life ruining addiction" - to the point that i dont have any other joys in my life than fantasizing about getting and exploiting the female energy. Normal guys without PORN and MASTURBATION addiction can afford to fantasize and let the female energy wash them in abudance. Addicts cant afford this luxury because their brain is broken and they give up their lifes to the feelings of female energy and chase it 24/7 in expense of doing much anything else in their life. Extreme measures like looking away from hot girls on streets and in magazines and TV is for me a way to EASE THE PAIN, TO HELP IN THE PROCESS. Imagine an imaginary scenario where a HEROIN ADDICT who tries to be sober walks down the street and every girl he passes has a syringe in her hand or a heroin powder in her palm, when he opens sunday tabloid every second page shows a huge high res picture of syringes, mountains of heroin powder and various kit to prepare the drug. Do you see how hard it is for a SEX addict to stop or lower his masturbation frequency when he is bombarded 24/7 with live or imaginary object of his very desire. I say this last time, this is not mean to be forever. Healthy man do fantasize about sex its the addicts excess fantasizing and preocupation that calls for extreme detox - both physical AND MENTAL. 3-6 months is a transformative period to get your sex cravings to "normal" levels - than hopefully you will have a healthy frequency of fantasizing and masturbating and if you will feel like you want to pursue NoA for rest of your life you will have all the tools and power to do so if you choose and after that 3-6 months transformation period and body and mind detox when you see a hot girl walking towards you on the street you will have choices what to do instead of craving, addiction and feelings of guilt uncontrolably flushing your entire body and brain.

    To gameover:
    Sounds like conditioning yourself to be asexual... I think its as unrealistic as telling people they need 6 months no orgasm to heal ED.

    Much of my reply to brainslave applies here. Its temporary. You also take away all the HEROIN from HEROIN ADDICT not just some. So to give your brain rest from sex addiction you should try to take away all sex physical and imaginary. Not just the physical and leave it wandering and marveling about images of hot girls doing nasty things with guys. Every HEROIN ADDICT tells you he has constant fantasies about the drug and these fantasies and memories are what keeps him desperate and on bring of relapse. Same applies to SEX. And i said previously that IAM CERTAIN THAT DETOX FROM SEX IS MUCH MORE COMPLICATED TO SUCCEED THAN DETOX FROM HEROIN - preciesly because SEX is natural part of human psyche and sense of wellbeing while HEROIN is not. What we must not forget is that our brains are "broken and hijacked" by the excess of sexual stimulation we gave ourselfes through PORN. So normal sexuality rules dont apply to addicts. Our brains require more strict regime than a normal healthy guys brain. I say temporary 3-6 months of total celibacy of body and mind (including looking away from pictures of hot women) may sound extreme to normal healthy guys but is quite justifiable if your brain and life is filled with ONE THING AND ONE THING ONLY - on a neuronal level - WE ARE ADDICTED TO AROUSAL AND SEXUAL EXCITEMENT. AND IF WE DONT WANT IT IN OUR LIFE AND FEEL LIKE WE CANT CONTROL IT ANYMORE WE SHOULD AVOID IT TOTALLY FOR SEVERAL MONTHS AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

    As of conditioning myself to become asexual - well there are most world religions saying celibacy of body and mind is not entirelly bad or dangerous thing. And you wont see budhist, zen or christians monks looking around on the street to check that hot girls ass or fantasizing during quite meditation sessions about fucking a girl three way and cuming in her mouth. In fact quite the opposite it helps you clear your mind and see things in bigger picture. Some even say that long periods of celibacy can have profound transformative and spiritual effect on your mind and consciousness. Thats why monasteries and celibacy for most religious high profile figures is considered golden standard to be able to focus your awarness and consciousness on "more complicated issues that riddle our planet and society" - hence religious celibacy in a nutshell :) But NO IAM NOT TRYING TO BECOME ASEXUAL - ACTUALLY JUST THE OPPOSITE - iam trying to lower my sex urges and cravings which i strongly believe are ingrained on neural rather than psyche level (see fMRI images of addicted brain to see how addiction works - its ACCQUIRED biological response not a natural feature of mind or human psyche to be addicted to arousing imagery). After all there are all those so-called healthy guys - the fMRI control group - they dont show glowing spheres of neural activity in their brain reward regions when confronted with porn. So our brain IS DAMAGED after all and the excessive neural firing is not the norm in western male population as the fMRI control groups clearly demonstrate. Its "normal" to have a very mild neural arousal when watching porn.

    Id say iam trying to GAIN CONTROL over my sexuality (both real and imagined), not become asexual but to enjoy every second of sex with a real woman i might get when lucky, it in its fullest and deepest aspects. You wouldnt say an anorexic really enjoys all the food they cram in their mouth during a food binge. Yes they have plenty of it so everythink must be fine, but its not. The excess is precieslly what ruins the taste. I think a food connossieur has much more joy from eating much less but with total awareness and focus and appreciation than an anorexic gulping buckets of icecream and pizza and whatnot in one go.

    Whats asexual is very relative. What is too much sex or too little. Healthy guys with no PORN history or very minimal, have relatively small fMRI response when watching porn. Addcited guys exhibit very stong activity in reward regions when confronted with PORN while inside fMRI scanner. Is this 1000% increased activity too much or not enough. Its all relative and if it doesnt bother or interfere with your life than its probably still not too much for you in particular. But there is a majority of healthy guys out there whos activity in brain is so minuscule when watching hardcore porn compared to your average addicted brain that their brains could very wel be called asexual compared to our "broken" brains.

    [​IMG]

    Remember extreme physical damage on neuronal level calls for extreme measures. Whether you stick to this regime for life-long or only until you reverse some of the physical damage done to your brain its up to you.

    AND ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS - ACCORDING TO SCIENCE ADDCITION IS CURABLE !!! i reprise here from original post:

    It was proven using fMRI again that HEROIN ADDICTS who were clean of the drug for 6 months were still showing strong brain activity when they were shown visual cues of the addictive substance (HEROIN), but HEROIN ADDICTS who were clean of the drug for 12 months were showing MUCH LESS brain activity when they were shown the same visual cues of the addictive substance (HEROIN) - SO BRAIN CAN FORGET ADDICTIONS AND CURE ITSELF OF CRAVING WITH TIME - the addiction and craving if not provoked by visual cues or fantasies GRADUALLY FADES AWAY after 6 to 12 months

    THATS GREAT NEWS - WHEN YOU LITERALY STARVE YOUR ADDICTIVE AND CRAVING REGIONS OF BRAIN OF ANY AROUSAL OR SEX (PHYSICAL AND MENTAL) THEY FADE DOWN TO PRE-ADDICITVE LEVELS AFTER 6-12 MONTHS


    NOW I WOULD SAY LETS NOT ARGUE AND THEORETISE... lets compare our DAY COUNTERS in few weeks time and let them do the talking. You stay with NoPMO and i will try to stick with the extreme version i call NoA (No Arousal for your brain). We will see whos P and M counters have higher numbers. Remember this is an attempt to cure myself of addiction not a proposal to become asexual. I think all the arguments were layed out in my answers and there is plenty of thinking material.

    Good luck brothers. I have my fingers crossed for every one of you. We are all in this together.
     
  8. Daimon

    Daimon New Member

    Re: NoA (No Arousal - celibacy of body AND MIND for 3+ months)

    I think I'm going to try this NoA. Of course, this is not going to restrict me to entirely avoid females as I will still converse with them and all that good stuff, but this NoA approach would help me to become more mindful. I like the idea.
     
  9. a_metros

    a_metros New Member

    Re: NoA (No Arousal - celibacy of body AND MIND for 3+ months)

    I'm not going so far as to look away from beautiful women in the street, but to some degree I'm trying to practice this NoA approach too. When erotic thoughts come to me I want to isolate them and block them out. For one thing, torturing yourself with arousal is mostly just a good way to create cravings for P.

    I also know that the long and detailed sexual fantasies I usually engage in are doing exactly the same thing in my head as watching P does. The same goes for remembering real sexual experiences from the past. Surely mo while remembering a girl from 5 years ago is essentially the same as pmo, since the girl is not here, has no say in what I'm doing and I'm basically just having sex with myself.

    This process can, and maybe should, be about experiencing the real world as it actually is instead of living inside a bubble of fantasy. As for being in the company of beautiful women - I don't mind that. I just intend to block out the prurient thoughts when they come and try to enjoy the person's company. As the OP says, hopefully in the future when my brain is not twisted up with addiction, I can find out what healthy fantasies look like.
     
  10. bigbookofpenis

    bigbookofpenis New Member

    Re: NoA (No Arousal - celibacy of body AND MIND for 3+ months)

    {4}

    IN FACT NoA MIGHT BE MORE EASY TO STICK TO (AND SLAY MORE PMO FREE DAYS ON YOUR COUNTER) THAN JUST REGULAR NoPMO.

    Ask yourself whats harder for you, abstaining from ice-cream when you dont have any ice-cream in your flat and all shops in town are closed on Sunday. Or if you have ice-cream bucket in your fridge, at the same time you see a Haagen Dazs advert in TV (the one with a giant close up on the spoon slowly burying and sliding into the velvety mount of wet and glistening chocolate ice-cream with a seductive Motown music playing in the background) and there are also 3 deli shops selling home-made ice-cream opened on your street at the moment.

    Sometimes less is more. Although the prospect of starving your eyes and mind as well as your body of any arousal may sound dulling and unmotivating, or down right depressive proposition. You may very well find out that by carefully guarding your mind from any visual cues entering it, you feel much more in control and the cravings are 100% more controlable and less frequent than when you let asses and boobs promenade in front of your hungry eyes 24/7 on the streets, on the news web pages, in magazines, in TV.

    Sometimes this overcrowding attack of sexual imagery and cues calls for desperate measures - like shutting down the TV, closing that page, looking at your feet when going through a busy metropolitan street on sunny summer day with all girls bouncing and sticking out everything they've got.

    Sometimes i doubt a budhist monk would endure the temptation if you would remove him out of the safe and arousal free envioinment of monastery and stick him right in the middle of Manhattan or London SOHO. How long before he would succumb if you would sit him in front of american cable TV offering and let him watch all the consumer channels for several days.

    Remember this is all temporary measure until your damaged brain reverses to normal excitation levels of normal healthy guys. After this happens you might find that you dont oogle girls on street that much even when you allow yourself. The cravings have faded out during the transitional period.
     
  11. joelski

    joelski New Member

    Re: NoA (No Arousal - celibacy of body AND MIND for 3+ months)

    Agreed. If I look at a hot woman and start fantasizing about her there's a really good chance that will lead to me relapsing into a horrific PMO cycle. When I abstain, I have to abstain from anything sexual in nature otherwise it just won't work.
     
  12. stretcher

    stretcher New Member

    Re: NoA (No Arousal - celibacy of body AND MIND for 3+ months)

    This makes a ton of sense. Also, Underdog agrees with it and that dude knows his shit. So I'm going to do this - no more sexual imagery or hot chicks of any kind in my sight or mental life, until I get over this. Like UD said, it should either be approaching and/or fucking real women, or nothing.
     
  13. bigbookofpenis

    bigbookofpenis New Member

    Re: NoA (No Arousal - celibacy of body AND MIND for 3+ months)

    {5}

    OK, guys, just poped by to report on my progress with NoA. So far the results are suprisingly good. As you can see from my counter, No Porn, No Masturbation (with or without Orgasm) for 21 days and going strong (knocking on the wood).

    I had 1 RS (Real Sex with a real woman) with my long-time girlfriend (we live together) - more on RS and NoA in a minute.
    I also had 1 WD (Wet Dream with ejaculation) in sleep - first WD in about 7 years :)

    I decided that while in the temporary NoA period (anywhere between 3-12 months) i WILL NOT RESET my PMO counter on these occasions:

    1) WD (Wet Dreams) - They are involunatry bodily function, totally beyond my conscious control or will power. They are not enemy, they are natural regulation of sperm production. They happen to sex addicts as well as guys with no porn or masturbation history. They are perfectly natural and healthy part of male sexuality and organ functioning. And i repeat no man has any voluntary control over Wet Dreams so i will not punish myself for having one occasionally. I will keep track of them and if the frequency stays around 1-2 in 30 days i will ignore them.

    2) RS (Real Sex with a real women) - Although NoA is about limiting ALL arousal (physical and mental) for a temporary NoA period (anywhere between 3-12 months), many of us have long-time girlfriends or wifes who will not share household with a celibate monk trying to purge his body and mind for 3-12 months. Real Sex is not an enemy in the long run (in fact we do all this extreme purging to become better sexual partners after we recover our brains from the addiction) but during the temporary NoA recovery period I try to cut-back RS as much as possible and keep it to a bare minimum that my girlfriend is ready to tolerate. I assume 1-2 RS per 30 days will not ruin the celibacy of body and mind during the NoA period and it will keep her from going insane. For example if id stay on NoA for 6 months (3 month is a total minimum for any long-lasting changes to occur in your brain) i would allow myself 6-12 RS in total, spread evenly over the 6 months. Hopefully when i heal my brain from PORN and MASTURBATION we will be able to fuck like rabbits again :)

    For the whole duration of my NoA period (anywhere between 3-12 months) iam keeping 2 counters - one for PMO and one for RS breaks

    ==========================

    Its day 21 and so far i must say the NoA works suprisingly good for me, with lower frustartion and craving than i expected after so many years on PORN. Iam 32 years old and was heavy hardcore porn user and masturbator since the age of 12 when i discovered fathers porn mag stash with hardcore euro porn (double penetration, threesome, piss, shemale, gay/straight, clinic). I havent kissed a girl at that age and now this very hardcore stuff was bombarding my undeveloped brain daily. To use a drug metaphor, its like i didnt bother with beer or marihuana i jumped straight on heroin. I was masturbating daily from my early teens and my brain was slowly rewiring.

    Fast forward to now. Iam 32 yeas old and iam sober for 21 days. Longest in my life. And thanks to NoA i dont even feel too frustrated. Iam coping suprisingly well. By leaving ALL arousal and sex outside my head, behind the door, carefully monitoring and preventing any visual cues to enter my consiousness from inside or outside and arouse my mental imagery. It sounds exagerated but its not different to what millions of budhist, christian, zen, taoist and other monks or spiritual folowers have been doing for centuries and these guys certainly dont have problems with PORN, MASTURBATION and bad sexual habits. Quite opposite these people are often regarded as some of the happiest people on earth with a very peacefull and happy life and less stress and worries. So for the last time there is nothing extreme or weird or unhealthy about temporarily limitng ALL sexual arousal (both physical and mental) in your life. Its certainly less akward to do it in a secluded male monastery where visual cues are limited to zero for you by the neutral surroundings and absence of woman (both real or pictured), but if you are like most people working in a 9-17 job in a busy city you must create a monastery secluded from visual cues inside your head. Its very painstaking but doable.

    The danger and seductive power of visual stimuli was tested all to well by myself in last 21 days. What happened totally convinced me that NoA (No Arousal - both physical and mental) is the essential way to prevent relapses and keep frustration to minimum during periods of brain reboot. This is what happened on day 15. Iam excercising every morning doing squats and i wanted to print out some diagrams of good stretching and warming up excercises to do before the squats to prevent muscle injury and overtraining. So i searched using Google Images for leg stretching excercises to get some pictures and diagrams of the stretch and warmup excercises. Among the neutral pictures google showed me, were few really hot girl coaches showing the stretch movements dressed only in tight gym spandex pants and tight t-shirts. After more than 15 days of No Arousal i could feel my adrenaline rising just looking at those "innocent" static pictures (no movie). However what totally rocked my boat was this picture that came among the results. Its a picture of 2 gymnasts doing extreme leg stretching excercise.

    SPOILER ALERT - The below link contains picture of two teen gymnasts in gymnast's swimsuits stretching their legs to extreme positions that may trigger some sexual fantasies - espcially if you are sober for more than 15 days… continue on your own risk. Direct link to the picture.

    I was 15 days sober with NoA (No Arousal of body and mind) when my eyes pined on this picture among the other more neutral results. I stayed looking at this picture for about 15 seconds before i realised iam getting an erection. Remember this is after 15 days without even looking at dressed girls on the street ! I closed the browser as fast as i realised my brain and body are getting horny. However for the rest of that day i couldnt get that gymnasts picture out of my head. My will power and determination went downhill for the rest of the day. It was 1000% harder to supress fantasies and i felt it was much more difficult to divert my looks away from nice girls walking on the street around me. Fortunatelly i managed for the rest of that day but i could feel much more frustration and craving than in all the previous 14 days summed. Fortunatelly after good night sleep the next day my will power and mind control was fully replenished. From that day i am a big believer that visual stimuli and cues are THE MAIN CULPRIT TO RELAPSE and NoA is the only managable routine for long-term results.

    Check my counters and ill see you in a bit again.
     
  14. SelfControl2013

    SelfControl2013 "Infinite patience produces Immediate results"

    Re: NoA (No Arousal - celibacy of body AND MIND for 3+ months)

    i am 100% with you on this.

    This book (link below) has been an incredible gift in helping me change my thinking.
    http://www.dlshq.org/download/brahmacharya.pdf

    I basically made a "silent decision" to avoid all sexual activity for a year.

    untill now iv been avoiding any dopamin pumping activities, (including facebook, chatting, mindless browsing) all together, but now im planning to slowly "date with a strict rule of no sexual activity"
     
  15. gottahandittoya

    gottahandittoya New Member

    Re: NoA (No Arousal - celibacy of body AND MIND for 3+ months)

    Something similar happened to me on Day 42, and getting through the rest of that day was a huge challenge. It's like a suppressed memory had suddenly re-appeared and you feel like you can't get it out of your mind. Successfully negotiating this day and sleeping through that night without P, M or O was probably my best achievement on this journey, and for the first time made me feel that reaching 3 months is a realistic goal.

    For the 2 weeks or so since then, I've worked hard to adhere to what you're doing - closing the tab for any possible triggers i see online, turning away from the TV if there's a sexy girl and no 'perving' at girls on the streets. If I see a pretty girl, I just say to myself "She's cute", acknowledge this and move on with whatever I'm doing. It feels awesome and powerful being able to do this after years of being a creepy pervert looking with sly sideways glances at every pretty girl that enters my 'radar'!

    You're also correct in your OP on using breathing techniques and trying to 'feel' sensations in your body and getting out of your head. Last night in bed I had an erection for more than one hour and just accepted this sensation for what it is, without thinking sexually. I'm 41, and this has never happened before! It's always ended with O, whether that was through porn or fantasy, or sex with a girl ofc if one was available. This time I just let it be, and felt no cravings to do anything sexual.
     
  16. bigbookofpenis

    bigbookofpenis New Member

    Re: NoA (No Arousal - celibacy of body AND MIND for 3+ months)

    {6}

    Thanks for sharing. I dig your counter (57 days no PMO). Impressive work. Cant wait to see how my body and brain will work on day 57 :)

    On a side note, counters may not tell the whole picture. There are people on this forum who achieved 50+ days repeatedly but relapsed every time. They never come 100% clean. They are like chronic 50-70 days relapsers. I cant wait to see how i will struggle myself around 50-70th day.

    Iam only 22 days into NoA after 19 years of PORN AND MASTURBATION habit and i can firmly say that iam NOT YET in the phase where i could look on a cute girl on street and say to myself "She's cute" and move on without erotic mental imagery. It would be unrealistic to expect 22 days to retrain my brain and psyche after 19 years of oogling and drooling over every girls ass that i see within a 150m range in my viewing angle. Literally i could be standing on a pedestrian walk and this faint silhouette of a young fit woman moves 150m in the distance on opposite end of the street - i would notice her. My brain and eyes developed a predator focus and hunting eagle precision to zoom out any attractive female shapes on long distance - my eyes are trained like sniper viewfinder. Once the eyes register a female attractive shape in the crowd my brain works like a specialised analysing and evaluating SUPERCOMPUTER - within milliseconds:

    1) check her ass and pelvis - images of hardcore doggy fucking flash in my head
    2) check her legs and thighs - images of her long and slender legs wraping around my neck while i fuck her missionary grabbing her thighs
    3) check her face for cute factor - images of blowjobs and cumshot flash in my head, her orgasm face when she is screaming "oh yeah baby fuck me harder"
    4) check the breast upright tightness under the shirt - images of firm young teen breast bouncing wildly while i fuck her like a dog in heat

    SICK and DEHUMANIZING towards woman ? Absolutelly. But thats what watching porn since 12 yrs to 32 yrs of age does to you ! They dont write in the porn mags what job the porn actress does in her real life or did before shooting this photoset with 3 guys pounding her orifices like they are made of latex, they dont tell you if she has children, if she is or was married, what books she read, what music she likes, what hobbies she has, if she like movies, whats her favorite holiday spot - you get the point ! She undresses and lets any number of guys do whatever they like to her body for as long as THEY want, until all the men succesfully cum and loose interest in her. Now watching this treatment of women since age of 12 before i barelly kissed a real women doesnt mean you grow into a heartless monster - BUT it means your animal instincts (those initiated by lower brain structures) are 1000% more trained and stronger than your human instincts (those initiated by higher brain structures). You physically feel sexual urges 1000% times more stonger inside your brain neuronal structures than you do feel love, compasion, care and protection…

    Check this image again ! The area activated may not seem so big or powerfull compared to the rest of the brain mass but its the location thats hard to beat. Its right at the center stem of your brain - where acute and essential impulses are activated long before the top logical area has any chance to regulate them.

    [​IMG]

    So after 22 days of NoA and preventing any visual cues (real or pictured) to enter my sniper eyes did my brain loose this overpowering urge to fuck any attractive woman that my sniper eyes spot (real or pictured) - ABSOLUTELY NOT - i guess it will take many, many, many more days until i will be able to look at an attractive girl and only see cute human being that i can just talk to and go on without mental imagery flooding my brain.

    Dont get me wrong, sexual urges ARE MENT TO BE STRONG in humans (thats part of the Nature's grand plan to make us reproduce) but the strength is very relative. I feel like i trained my brain's sexual neuronal pathways at least 4 times a week for 19 yrs using very heavy weights (hardcore porn mags and videos) - so my brain regions responsible for sexual urges are strong like Schwarzenneger's muscles in his best days. The trouble is that these super trained neuronal pathways are probably STONGER THAN ANY OTHER PARTS of my brain (especially the higher parts responsible for advanced logic and reasoning that make us humans and not dogs who lick their balls and sniff bitches pussies as "Hello, how do you do"). So the super trained sexual regions can currently easily overtake my whole brain and mind whenever they choose to and none of my other brain regions has enough strength to stop them. The strategic position of these super-strong pleasure centers right in the middle of brain hierarchy certainly doesnt help or play in favour of my logical and reasoning upper regions. I unintentionaly trained a super strong monster out of my sexual/pleasure region and now its bullying all my other brain regions and no one has the strength to stand against him and stop or even control him. He is a king of the block (sitting right in the middle of the playground) and all the other regions must dance as he sings.

    During the temporary NoA recovery period (anywhere between 3-12 months) I choose to strictly dont look at girls on street because i know this super trained sexual monster with his sniper eyes and dehumanized look is sleeping in my brain and after 19 yrs its strong as hell. 22 days of abstinence cant do no harm to this monster. So i better not give this super trained monster any impulses that would wake him up and take over the whole brain. You dont leave matches around pyromaniacs. Its actually a nice metaphor. Yes, matches, very helpfull thing, pretty safe if you know what you are doing. Its an everyday household thing and nobody would look away at the sight of box of matches lying on a kitchen table. Everyone would agree they are a marvelous invention and there is nothing wrong with them. But take a pyromaniac and a single match can trigger psychotic behaviour in such individuals. But 90% they are safe and harmless. Its all relative.

    Last thing and iam going to take a break from replies for some time because being around in these forums is both very helpfull but also keeps my brain focused on the addiction rather than the recovery process itself that takes place in my body and on the street not on the computer screen.

    I counted ive been using hardcore porn for 6935 days (19 yrs * 365) - right i wasnt looking at porn every day of those 6935 days, but i was in that mind set all the time and i allowed my brain fantasizing and oogling girls for all that time without any moral restrictions (i let my fantasies and mental images be as perverted as i wish). So you could say that i was either watching porn or playing mental porn in my fantasy for most of those 6935 days :)

    Now a little math:

    22 days out of 6935 days is 0.31%

    I think that speaks for itself iam now sober for 0.31% of my addict's life. I think my brain deserves at least 5-10% of recovery time to give it fair chance to break this addiction forever and not become a serial 50-70 days relapser. Its a very ambitious plan i know.

    5% of 6935 days is 346 days = 11.5 month
    10% of 6935 days is 693 days = 1 year and 11 month

    So compared to the above super numbers 3 or 6 months (90 or 180 days) of NoA (No Arousal of body and mind) looks like essential minimum to cause any change in your brain, let alone a LASTING change.

    Good luck everyone

    Check my counter, stay tuned.
     
  17. bigbookofpenis

    bigbookofpenis New Member

    Re: NoA (No Arousal - celibacy of body AND MIND for 3+ months)

    {7}

    Thanks for the book i will read it. Your counter is also very motivational and impressive (81 days).
     
  18. bigbookofpenis

    bigbookofpenis New Member

    Re: NoA (No Arousal - celibacy of body AND MIND for 3+ months)

    {8}

    Excerpt from the book posted by SelfControl2013 "Practice of brahmacharya" first published in 1934 in India

    A gentleman who has given up smoking and drinking wants to practice Brahmacharya, though married. His wife has no objection, but he himself finds this discipline hard; especially, the trouble seems to be in the control of the sense of sight. “The street is my chief enemy”, he said to me recently. This means that the eyes are attracted by well-dressed ladies.

    Another aspirant says, “While I practiced vigorously Pranayama, Japa and meditation, my mind was not polluted even if I saw half-nude young ladies. But when I left the practice, I was not able, to control my sight and I was attracted by well-dressed ladies in the streets and half-nude pictures pasted in front of picture-houses. The sea-beach and Mall Road are my enemies.”

    End of excerpt

    I think i know these guys :) I wonder back than when they were refering to cute chicks as "well-dressed ladies" did they have high speed internet and 1080p high resolution hardcore porn movies in India :)

    Its clear than with invention of photography in 1850's followed by motion picture film in 1900's humankind devised the most elaborate way yet how to trick and hi-jack their "primitive" brains into virtual realities which can be far more colorfull and enjoying than your real life !!!
     
  19. gauthzilla

    gauthzilla New Member

    Re: NoA (No Arousal - celibacy of body AND MIND for 3+ months)

    Hey all this is top notch..but what if you are from a conservative society in which sex before marriage is totally taboo .. Then how do you follow this noa plan if you are a young student in this society
     
  20. bigbookofpenis

    bigbookofpenis New Member

    Re: NoA (No Arousal - celibacy of body AND MIND for 3+ months)

    {9}

    gauthzilla can you be more specific on your question ?

    basically NoA is temporary celibacy of both body and mind... how long you practice NoA depends... if you want to clear from 19 yrs of hardcore porn abuse and masturbation habit like i do, 3-6 months is minimum and 12 months is ideal...

    if you live in a society where premerital sex is taboo i imagine this society tradition is probably trying to impose a version of NoA on you until you get married...

    i imagine such society forbids sex until marriage effectively forcing you to loose virginity the day you marry (especially for girls which kinda affect boys too because they wont find any girls willing to have a little bit of sex before they marry)

    such strict societies ussualy also frown upon PORN as a substitute for real wife and sometimes these societies, although not strictly forbidding masturbation, they only tolerate it and dont talk about it publicly - its a grey area - you wont find books like "how to masturbate - guide for premerital sexual release" in these societies

    so until you are married NO SEX, NO PORN, NO MASTURBATION

    this doesnt sound like anything that would collide with NoA... in fact maybe due to restrictions it should be harder for you to see half naked women on mainstream tv and porn being sold in news stand in such societies... so the celibacy and adhering to NoA might actually be easier and even supported by the society as "the right thing to do according to the tradition"
     

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