The beginning of a long road...

Discussion in 'Ages -19' started by Metacane, Dec 13, 2016.

  1. Metacane

    Metacane New Member

    Hello everyone,

    I'm 19 years old and live in germany (bare with me for spelling and grammar mistakes). I want to introduce myself because I think I need help on this long road and I am willing to help others too.

    I am not really sure when I started masturbation but i could say I actively started when I was 13. I started to watch porn during this time too and since I discovered porn, I always watched porn for jacking off. I remember when i started i could barely last 2 minutes but it was good all the time. I learned to last longer one year later - since then I was all about improving my stamina - and I think, that this is one of my biggest problems. My regular masturbation and porn session lasted at least an hour, on a daily basis, since I was 14. I've always tried to improve myself; it was my only goal! I did this all the way through the age of 17.

    By this time, things got immensely worse because I lost my daily "hornyness" but I still forced myself to masturbait. Soon I realized, that i can't get a boner without porn but as i did'nt think it was that bad so I continued and started pay-porn. Imo payed porn was my next big problem because it upped my standarts so much that I got even more addicted. While I was back at my daily 1 hour or more routine, I noticed that my boner problem is PIED but I did'nt care because my sessions were way too good and I never really cared to have a GF, so why stop masturbaition and porn.

    My first "Oh shit moment" was when I wanted to jack off to a scene of my first favorite pornstar. It was a scene in 360p because she stopped making porn a while ago when hd was'nt that big of a deal, so i had to watch 360p. When i noticed I have'nt got a boner at all I became really mad and kinda did rage. The next day I stopped porn - my abstaining lasted for around a month. I got back again to porn with a new subscription because i browsed a certain site, and their trailers during my fallback. Because I watched a trailer, that was just way too good. I subscribed and had like a week of great libido so I thought why stop now - it felt too good again.

    fast forwarding now.

    I had several subscriptions and downloaded the hell out of these pages. Until the last month when I noticed I really need to stop, because I am suffering a really hard PIED where I can't even get hard to my, during the addiction developed fetish. I am lacking motivation. I'm really ashamed of myself and I fell in love with a girl which got me kinda depressed because I know i'll never be able to get her because she has a BF for 1 1/2 years now, and even if she would'nt have a BF I woun't try to hit on her because i'm scared to make a fool out of myself and to disappoint her with a dick that does'nt work.

    Today I'm writing to you guys because I started my journey 2 days ago when I deleted my porn stash of 2 TB, download porn blockers and apps for my phone that help curing the addiction. I am sorry if this text is confusing because my mind just flew into the keys and if I edit it now I'll probably change things towards a non true meaning.

    P.S. I'd like to have some friends on R|Tribe. Add me on "kaiba1997@web.de" or write your Email and I'll add you.

    Thank you for reading fellows

    greetings.
     
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2016
  2. Matei99

    Matei99 I hope One day I'll be cured

    So I'll give you some advice since i'm on my road for a while.

    -never lose hope
    Even the worst cases of pied recovered
    -organize yourself
    Start having plans for your future and why not for today.
    -rewire a lot
    Rewiring means to go and spend more and more time with real women. That will help you a shit ton
    -forget about porn and masturbation
    You are rebooting and those slow you down . The only way to get and orgasm will be Sex from now on ,nothing more nothing less
    -improve yourself
    -Keep your mind busy with something all the time

    I hope i helped . Let me know how your progress is going. Good luck <3
     
  3. Metacane

    Metacane New Member

    Hey man, thanks for your response!

    I want to give y'all a brief summary of my last days since I started.
    Sometimes I got triggered during my usual freetime after school and work. I normally spend this time with playing pc and watching live-streams; this time was also my usual "getting horny phase" for masturbation before I go to sleep.
    During this time, I noticed, that I need a real hobby. fortunally, I have an idea of what I want to do in the future. I've always thought about learning to play guitar especially e-guitar as I#m a huge metal-fan.
    As I never started doing this - I thought why not start now, It is the best timing imo. I'll buy a cheap eguitar/guitar when I have enough money - really looking forward to that!
    Additionally, I tried cold showering and really enjoyed it. I'll try to completely stick to cold showering.
    Last night I had a dream that fucked my whole day after. I dreamed of watching porn and masturbating. When I woke up i felt really fucked but I thought the shower would kick me back into life, because it did so the day before.
    Sad to say, it did'nt. I had a day of really mixed feelings. I could say it was the worst day since I stopped PMO.
    Now I'm writing, because I got triggered and thought It'd be a good way of getting untriggerd. worked out pretty good!
     
  4. Matei99

    Matei99 I hope One day I'll be cured

    Hey man. I'm happy to see you confident :) this is the only way you cand beat this.

    I'm a huge metal fan too. I was never attracted to learn guitar tho, kinda hard buut if you learn it you can have fun with that all day long. Learning guitar will add something healthy to your reward system.

    About cold showers.. they are only there to kill the urges to porn and masturbation. I made showers with nice warm water for example and at the final of them i turned the water cold just to kill my urges.

    About dreams. Well fuck them. You didn't intentionally had that dream and you are not the only one dreaming about porn.
    Dreams are not your fault but they could be if you think at sex all day long.
    That is why i said that you should find something interesting and satisfying to do.
     
  5. Metacane

    Metacane New Member

    Hey Guys, I want to give you an update of my process so far.

    I'm on day: dunno.
    I've had a little mistake. Last saturday, I've done a 30sec binge of my, during porn evolved, fetish on google immages. Luckily I noticed, that what I was doing is wrong, fast. I closed the browser on my phone and layed it into another room.
    I really regret what I've done and resetted my counter. I felt terrible that day.
    The next days were exponentially getting better until now and further. I've had a really fucking good mood everyday since tuesday.
    I am still only showering cold and it does me really good. I love it!
    I have had dreams, that I remember, every night since monday (no wet or awkward porn dreams). Only good dreams. Today I had morningwood, the first time since 7 damn years.
    Eventhough it was only like 40-50% hard, I really loved it. I really feel that my life is improving on every day just after that short period of time. I also think that my mistake on saturday was'nt that big of a setback.
    I am trying to keep eyecontact with unknown girls (my age, good looking, potential partners) and start to be able to do it longer than I ever could. Amazing feeling too.

    To sum it up: I had a blast the last days, even with the setback I had, but I think, that flatline will hit me in the near future.

    Greetings.
     
  6. Christian Soldier

    Christian Soldier Onward, Christian Soldier, marching as to war

    Keep killing that habit, man!

    I'm happy to read that you feel good! You never quite realize how far you'd sunk until you quit. When you start to feel confident and happy again, you never want to go back to your old ways.

    Cheers, brother! I'm rooting for you!
     

Share This Page