Hello everyone, I'm 19 years old and live in germany (bare with me for spelling and grammar mistakes). I want to introduce myself because I think I need help on this long road and I am willing to help others too. I am not really sure when I started masturbation but i could say I actively started when I was 13. I started to watch porn during this time too and since I discovered porn, I always watched porn for jacking off. I remember when i started i could barely last 2 minutes but it was good all the time. I learned to last longer one year later - since then I was all about improving my stamina - and I think, that this is one of my biggest problems. My regular masturbation and porn session lasted at least an hour, on a daily basis, since I was 14. I've always tried to improve myself; it was my only goal! I did this all the way through the age of 17. By this time, things got immensely worse because I lost my daily "hornyness" but I still forced myself to masturbait. Soon I realized, that i can't get a boner without porn but as i did'nt think it was that bad so I continued and started pay-porn. Imo payed porn was my next big problem because it upped my standarts so much that I got even more addicted. While I was back at my daily 1 hour or more routine, I noticed that my boner problem is PIED but I did'nt care because my sessions were way too good and I never really cared to have a GF, so why stop masturbaition and porn. My first "Oh shit moment" was when I wanted to jack off to a scene of my first favorite pornstar. It was a scene in 360p because she stopped making porn a while ago when hd was'nt that big of a deal, so i had to watch 360p. When i noticed I have'nt got a boner at all I became really mad and kinda did rage. The next day I stopped porn - my abstaining lasted for around a month. I got back again to porn with a new subscription because i browsed a certain site, and their trailers during my fallback. Because I watched a trailer, that was just way too good. I subscribed and had like a week of great libido so I thought why stop now - it felt too good again. fast forwarding now. I had several subscriptions and downloaded the hell out of these pages. Until the last month when I noticed I really need to stop, because I am suffering a really hard PIED where I can't even get hard to my, during the addiction developed fetish. I am lacking motivation. I'm really ashamed of myself and I fell in love with a girl which got me kinda depressed because I know i'll never be able to get her because she has a BF for 1 1/2 years now, and even if she would'nt have a BF I woun't try to hit on her because i'm scared to make a fool out of myself and to disappoint her with a dick that does'nt work. Today I'm writing to you guys because I started my journey 2 days ago when I deleted my porn stash of 2 TB, download porn blockers and apps for my phone that help curing the addiction. I am sorry if this text is confusing because my mind just flew into the keys and if I edit it now I'll probably change things towards a non true meaning. P.S. I'd like to have some friends on R|Tribe. Add me on "firstname.lastname@example.org" or write your Email and I'll add you. Thank you for reading fellows greetings.