Success story: Former porn addict living life

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by Sound fx, Aug 18, 2016.

  1. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    Okay so I've continued to do real good.

    Thursday night I went out for a buddies birthday party, had a real productive day before going. Spent the evening and night drinking and hanging out.

    Friday I had a lazy day, slept in til 3... Which fucked up my sleep schedule. And had a lazy day, but ended the day with my good routine of making my to list, reading it, reading positive books, then rereading the list, then visualizing my ideal next day, then listening to affirmations as I went to bed.

    Went to bed late with waking up so late so I knew I probably wouldn't get up at 10:30 like I should, so did damage control and got up at 12:30 so I can get back on track and go to bed at my normal time and get up at 10:30 again.

    Did my normal daily routine of getting up, drinking water, making coffee/nootropics, went on my run and then ate a healthy morning breakfast.

    Good start to the day and got me in the zone.

    Then read with my girlfriend on self discipline book "No Excuses" by Brian Tracy (I HIGHLY recommend this book, one of my favorite self help books so far) then did my PE and took a shower and shaved.

    Now knocking out my list and all the things I have to do from laptop. About to eat, then we are going to gym and then are going to come home and clean the room and go see our roomate perform at the bar down the street from the house. Good day so far, just wanted to write in here to keep my on track.

    Feel the momentums going on my side

    Note: One thing I can do that won't add any time, which would be a huge benefit is cold shower! Embracing the discomfort and using it as an advantage. I will try to make it a focus of doing these.
     
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2016
  2. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    Holiday season has been great. Had some much needed relaxation time with the family. Went up to DC, checked out some Museums, the Zoo, went to the movies, hung out with family, ate good food, then came back to my hometown to hang out with friends and some more family. It truly has been a great trip and I have had a great time.

    I think I just broke through my plateau. I have had a great time and felt so powerful and respected with my family and a good bit of my friends. We caught up with some family members I have not seen in depthly in several years, and I really felt confident, optimistic, self controlled, charismatic, & powerful. And everyone benefitted from it, it wasn't a demeaning of others emotions, it was a positive & uplifting alpha emotion. It was great.

    I really felt great around everybody for the most part and more and more confident. wasn't perfect around some people but thats not the point, even though some people weren't giving me the external approval I often crave I still felt confident and felt like I expressed myself well for the most part.

    These are all just bigger motivations to get even better, to improve myself even further... To keep pushing, and create more competency and happiness, and power and confidence in my life. I want to keep getting better. I want to take it to the next level... Or 10 levels higher... I really do and feel I can.

    All this optimism at the end of the year brings me to start thinking of my new years resolutions. Haven't made a real competent and tangible list for a few years, but the last one I made did wonders for me, and similar to the way I am now, I was fully ready, willing and disciplined mentally & physically to make it happen. I feel I am in a similar place not but even more maturity and competency and self control. The last REAL resolution I made was about 10 resolutions, and all of them have been fulfilled in one way or another. Not always to the tee exactly the resolution, but always fulfilled in some way, some more than others and some less. But it truly is the pursuit and the growth that you receive that makes you feel alive, and makes it always worth it, even if you aren't there yet, and even if the goal isn't complete attained yet. The pursuit, and growth, make you feel alive!!!

    Although I will be busy entertaining and spending New Years with my girlfriend, I am going to try to take some time to reflect, on this upcoming year, and want I want to see, and create, and improve upon, and build, and identify with.

    I think I will go back and read some of my previous posts from years ago on here... and find some sources of inspiration, and appreciate how much I've grown...

    As I write this and as I've seen over the past few days that hard work really does pay off, and feels good, I have come to a clearer picture of what I want to do, and become, and gain, and achieve this next year.

    Heres a brief list, this often goes hand in hand with my daily list I wrote a couple weeks ago, which I will review after I put down my thoughts...

    • Social skills! Social confidence, alpha male mentality, game with women, the ability to flirt and pursue even if I have no intention of sex, having a great social life and making new friends
    • Martial Arts! Jiu Jitsu, Boxing, Judo, Muay Thai, Wrestling, MMA, competing, running, being athletic, being strong, mentally and physically, chasing my dream, being an alpha, being dominant and capable of defending my own with 100 percent certainty
    • Conquering discomfort head on!!! Beating physical pain and gaining pleasure from the workouts, the tiredness. Understanding it benefits me. Talking to everyone that I want to to talk to! Connecting with people with no avoidance. Learning actively with full effort, an open mind and a white belt mentality with the confidence that I can become a black belt in anything I want to in life.
    • Business! More knowledge of business, more competence of business outside of my singular field. Multiple streams of income, knowledge of economy, and politics, and developing the skill of real estate investing/flipping, and stock market trading/day trading skill and profit
    • Most Successful Stand! This goes along with business, I want to open up an extremely sucessful new business that I'm opening up in the big city. One with an amazing VIBE. A cool, pleasant hang out spot, a place I can enjoy working with employees that I enjoy
    • Sales! Everything in life is sales! Vast knowledge and confidence in myself to persuade and put my message against confidently, ability to sell my product firmly, and efficiently
    • Erectile growth and health! Improved erectile quality, and size, and an increased confidence in my sexual abilities and abilities to have fun and give/receive pleasure. Kegals and PE daily
    • Find two more genuinely interesting hobbies to identify with and take pride in! Golf? Ping pong? Biking? Poker? Motorcycle? Cars? And commit to spending at least one hour a week to sharpening those skills.
    • Celebrating Recovery Actively!!! Sex Addicts Class! Once a week for the rest of my life, go in a class with like minded, positive people trying to do good for themselves.
    • Leadership! Learning to motivate and mold my employees to grow, greater people development. Greater management skills. Better output and attitude from employees, and me as well!
    • Better communication with family, friends, and in business! Increased efficiency of phone use, answering the phone every time it rings. Calling back immediately if not, immediate email response. "touch it once" policy. Calling family members actively and often!
    • Health! Better diet, more healthy, nutritious, energy giving cooking/meal prep, fast food only 4 days a week (compared to the normal 7 now lol), experimenting with meal prep service, cooking a ton of meals twice a week. Healthy eating, heavy protein, low fat, low/good carb diet. No sugar! No caffeine at some point. Gym 3-6 days a week depending on my soreness from martial arts.
    • Early Riser! Waking up at 8:30 and in bed at 12 every day. Consistent sleep schedule, no sleeping in. Waking every day with a surge of discipline, energy and hopefully motivation. Running 20 minutes immediately upon waking/after protein shake.
    • Happiness! Appreciate and love life. Look for the little things to take pleasure from. Choose happiness, choose joy, choose making the best life for myself and being 100% okay with being a work in progress. Choosing to love myself, unconditionally, at all times. And always see my value, and always see the positive things, the beautiful weather, the small victories, the good things that happened during the day. Saying it will be a beautiful day!
    • Organization and Cleanliness! Business organization, better file keeping. Increased personal life cleanliness, two quick showers a day would be great! Clean car, clean and organized room. Brush teeth twice a day with no exceptions, letting my nails grow out
    • Saving Money! No mindless spending, buy only things that you will surely use. Investing money in good quality things for my future, things to motivate me, seminars, good quality food & diet, MMA classes, things to learn, no eating out/no fast food, good meal prep and no sex chat.
    • Self Discipline! This ties into them all. Doing what I should do, when I should do it, whether I feel like it or not. Knowing that showing up on days that you don't feel like it are even more important than showing up on the days that you do feel like it!
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2017
  3. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    Okay haven't posted since my New Years Resolutions list that I made, although I didn't intend on that being my final draft it was very authentic and spontaneous, and very close to exactly what i want, so I copied that list and printed it off, with a few modifications and writing some things on there and I think its exactly what I want, my comittment is to read and review it every day, as much as possible, every hour if I can. And visualize it, visualize myself being successful, visualize myself in three years if I chase mastery in these things, and fall in love with the pursuit.

    So theres that. I am focused on following through and taking action towards my list and the reviewing, emotional attaching, and visualizing of the list will internalize until I associate and identify with that list, and those actions.

    I have relapsed pretty hard the past few days, harder than I have in a good while. I PMO'd 3 times in a span of about 2 days, and spent like $250 on sex chat... I must overcome this, and I'm starting to realize I need more help along the way. I went to Sexaholics Anonymous this Monday, even though I really didn't want to. And we talked about the first step in SAA is admitting we are powerless over our addiction, and our lives have become unmanageable. I think I am coming close to that point. Not that I am completely powerless. What is in my control is going to these meets, and reading my SAA book, which I am going to start doing.

    I want to have this completely behind me. I can do it. I just have to continue to build these good habits and focus on them even more. I can do this and I know I have the maturity and work ethic to put it all together. I am focused on that.

    Been getting hit with urges. Stronger than I normally have. Just got to ride it out and focus on staying clean, and move on from this addiction.

    On my list, it says going to one SAA class a week, for the rest of my life. And I really want to stick to that, as its good for me, a community of people that I can relate to.

    Action points for this... SAA once a week as described obviously. I am going to get a sponsor here soon, I have never had one, and I think that will do a wonder of good, although the idea kind of irks me to be honest. But its for the best, and it will make me a better person. Porn blocker. I am going to talk to my life coach about that this week. Spending $250 on sex chat is unacceptable. I have to think long term about this, it has to get better, as it's already pretty bad.

    So that's my mission, that's my goal. Working my new years committments, reviewing them daily, taking action toward them.

    I am going to Jiu Jitsu class tonight @ 6:45. Free 30 days trial at the gym. So I am going to take a shot at it, and give it a good effort for a full 6 months. I talked to my life coach about my passion for this, and the least I can do is give it a full shot, to see if this is for me. Atleast I can say I really tried, I can always say that.

    Had some business bullshit to deal with, with changes of ownership, thought it was all done but apparently not. Hopefully we are at the point that everything is settled. We have a franchise cruise on the 16th. So everything needs to come to a close by then hopefully. Things are looking up other than that. Have been busy with work, and helping several people get started. That's where I really have the passion, is helping other people get going. It's something new, and more unpredictable than what I have previously done. And it helps me grow more and mature more in my business sense. All very good things.

    More as it comes, stay strong my friends!
     
  4. yearofchange

    yearofchange Your actions matter.

    Wow, it's awesome to see you living by your habits. I recently read a book called The Morning Miracle by Hal Elrod and the visualization and review process you intend to do everyday reminds me of that. I'm guessing it keeps you better aligned with your goals because you can easier distinguish between activities that help you toward your goal and those that don't. That and the surge of motivation you get when you feel you are in alignment and moving towards them. Honestly, it's all too easy to forget our goals and be wandering around all day, doing the next thing that comes up. But it's clear you don't do that.

    The recent lapse back into old times can be just that, a temporary short-lived lapse if you deal with it and the reasons why it came back in your life. Wishing you luck on your journey man, and thanks for the great post in my journal :)
     
  5. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    2017 Goals, Resolutions, Commitments, and To Do List
    • Visualize yourself being successful
    • Focus on living your dream life
    • See yourself executing your plan with passion and ease
    • Focus on the application
    • Focus on being a complete alpha male-balanced, fun, confident, successful, courageous, charismatic, and strong
    • Build enthusiasm and passion towards these things
    • Review this list daily!!! Look it over and internalize it every hour!
    • Visualize it and make it a clear and vivid picture
    • See it so clearly, and so consistently
    • Decide, just decide, who you are going to be!
    • Visualize yourself in three years, completely transformed
    • Evolve
    • Passion
    • Progress
    • Social skills! Social confidence, alpha male mentality, game with women, the ability to flirt and pursue even if I have no intention of sex, having a great social life and making new friends
    • Martial Arts! Jiu Jitsu, Boxing, Judo, Muay Thai, Wrestling, MMA, competing, running, being athletic, being strong, mentally and physically, chasing my dream, being an alpha, being dominant and capable of defending my own with 100 percent certainty
    • Conquering discomfort head on!!! Beating physical pain and gaining pleasure from the workouts, the tiredness. Understanding it benefits me. Talking to everyone that I want to to talk to! Connecting with people with no avoidance. Learning actively with full effort, an open mind and a white belt mentality with the confidence that I can become a black belt in anything I want to in life.
    • Business! More knowledge of business, more competence of business outside of my singular field. Multiple streams of income, knowledge of economy, and politics, and developing the skill of real estate investing/flipping, and stock market trading/day trading skill and profit
    • Most Successful Stand! This goes along with business, I want to open up an extremely sucessful new business that I'm opening up in the big city. One with an amazing VIBE. A cool, pleasant hang out spot, a place I can enjoy working with employees that I enjoy
    • Sales! Everything in life is sales! Vast knowledge and confidence in myself to persuade and put my message against confidently, ability to sell my product firmly, and efficiently
    • Erectile growth and health! Improved erectile quality, and size, and an increased confidence in my sexual abilities and abilities to have fun and give/receive pleasure. Kegals and PE daily
    • Find two more genuinely interesting hobbies to identify with and take pride in! Golf? Ping pong? Biking? Poker? Motorcycle? Cars? And commit to spending at least one hour a week to sharpening those skills.
    • Celebrating Recovery Actively!!! Sex Addicts Class! Once a week for the rest of my life, go in a class with like minded, positive people trying to do good for themselves.
    • Leadership! Learning to motivate and mold my employees to grow, greater people development. Greater management skills. Better output and attitude from employees, and me as well!
    • Better communication with family, friends, and in business! Increased efficiency of phone use, answering the phone every time it rings. Calling back immediately if not, immediate email response. "touch it once" policy. Calling family members actively and often!
    • Health! Better diet, more healthy, nutritious, energy giving cooking/meal prep, fast food only 4 days a week (compared to the normal 7 now lol), experimenting with meal prep service, cooking a ton of meals twice a week. Healthy eating, heavy protein, low fat, low/good carb diet. No sugar! No caffeine at some point. Gym 3-6 days a week depending on my soreness from martial arts.
    • Early Riser! Waking up at 8:30 and in bed at 12 every day. Consistent sleep schedule, no sleeping in. Waking every day with a surge of discipline, energy and hopefully motivation. Running 20 minutes immediately upon waking/after protein shake.
    • Happiness! Appreciate and love life. Look for the little things to take pleasure from. Choose happiness, choose joy, choose making the best life for myself and being 100% okay with being a work in progress. Choosing to love myself, unconditionally, at all times. And always see my value, and always see the positive things, the beautiful weather, the small victories, the good things that happened during the day. Saying it will be a beautiful day!
    • Organization and Cleanliness! Business organization, better file keeping. Increased personal life cleanliness, two quick showers a day would be great! Clean car, clean and organized room. Brush teeth twice a day with no exceptions, letting my nails grow out
    • Saving Money! No mindless spending, buy only things that you will surely use. Investing money in good quality things for my future, things to motivate me, seminars, good quality food & diet, MMA classes, things to learn, no eating out/no fast food, good meal prep and no sex chat.
    • Self Discipline! This ties into them all. Doing what I should do, when I should do it, whether I feel like it or not. Knowing that showing up on days that you don't feel like it are even more important than showing up on the days that you do feel like it!
    • Pray! Just 10 seconds a day! Thank God for his blessing and ask for his help along your journey!
    • Meditate! 15 minutes every day!
    • Choose to make work enjoyable in all areas of life! Psych yourself up when going to the gym, use positive self talk, convince yourself that it makes sense and is advantageous to go to the gym. Stack and reframe all the reasons to get up early. Remind yourself again and again all the reasons to celebrate recovery and become the guy that doesn't watch porn, then reframe it again and remind yourself from another perspective. Remind yourself WHY you are going to MMA classes, in many different ways. Reframe the reasons again and again. Remind yourself why you need to get started today, constantly. Stack all the reasons why its makes sense and is beneficial to do the things you need to do and remind yourself it will be really really fun when the habit is developed and the benefits are manifested.
    And I immediately became consumed with the idea of pursuing it.

    1. In what ways have I given today?
    2. What did I learn today?
    3. How has today added to the quality of my life?
     
  6. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    Thanks brother! I really appreciate that man!

    "That and the surge of motivation you get when you feel you are in alignment and moving towards them." Man, that is powerful stuff, that is the perfect way to describe it! I wish I could capture that mindset and keep it forever! It truly is an amazing feeling. Wish it was permanent, lol. Guess we are both working to get back there. Wish you the best as well man.
     
  7. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    Okay so I told myself I would post on here tonight... Have been really busy as of late. Been in the big city looking for locations for the business and helping out some franchisees in the area. Overall its been a productive trip.

    And before that we had a franchise retreat on a cruise so although I've been very productive business wise everything else hasn't been up to date lol. My routine has been in shambles lol... Told myself I would workout every day on the cruise to counteract all the food that was eaten but I wasn't able to muster the discipline and motivation to do it.

    Overall I have been productive, especially with business, and socializing, but there's something about travel that completely screws up the routine and productive actions that accompany self discipline. Think that's natural for most people, but it still makes me a little uneasy and would like to work on that in years to come :)

    I put up my final draft for my daily review of commitments. It's my committment and goal to review it every day, especially at night before bed. Need to print off the final draft to carry it around with me, the first draft I made is at my girlfriends house, so I'll have to review on here until then.

    One thing I think I need to remind myself of is two things: habits & motivation. I need to remind myself that you CAN consciously motivate yourself. Motivation is important... I know people put down motivation, saying discipline is the be all end all... Thats true to a certain extent, but if you don't have motivation atleast in a majority of the way you will be miserable. Life is so much easier when you can motivate yourself to pursue your goals and keep your committments... It's a wonderful thing. So let's work on that.

    The other thing is that habits make things easier. Seek to make good habits, and keep and internalize your habits. I have been so hell bent on self discipline lately. Make motivated self discipline a habit. Self discipline is great, and amazing, don't get me wrong, but it needs the help of motivation and habits, if you ask me :)

    That's all for now, gonna keep this brief.

    I am still focused on success, and focused on motivation.
     
    yearofchange likes this.
  8. yearofchange

    yearofchange Your actions matter.

    I never thought of it like this. I read this when you first posted it and came back to read it again. I never realized this was a thing, but I really think you're onto something there. I will likewise spend more effort on motivation. Maybe that positive outlook on life people talk about is important to have for success related to spending energy on motivation.
     
  9. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    Thanks man! I think it's probably something we all need to focus on. I think some people are more inclined naturally to be more motivated than others... But I feel like it's something that we could train ourselves to do. Gah, what a wonderful world we would live in if we could harness the power of enthusiastic motivation and use it as our normal state... lol.
     
  10. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    Okay so had it on my list to post today... Gonna try to be efficient and get this done farely quickly. Need to focus on more high quality focus and being a bit more time efficient lol.

    After having my routine messed up from business trips and all, when I got back to town my routine had been completely destroyed, that past 3 or so days I have been back on track though. Haven't been able to get up right on time but have been pretty close. With the exception of today, have been lazy today. I woke up at like 1... Slept in because I haven't been sleeping well the past few days.

    Hit the gym the last 3 days in a row though, and went running yesterday. So I have been productive. Been reminding myself that I need to take small steps. So the past few days the to do list hasn't been as stacked as it normally is. Starting small to get in the groove and build some momentum back. Has worked really well. Figured since I had gotten back on track I could have a really productive day today, so I made a pretty extensive to do list today. But the sleeping in part has messed that up lol... Still going to try to knock everything off of the list.

    Other than that. Been waiting on the negotations for the new lease of the building we are hoping to get. And helping some franchisees get open. Jan helped me photo shop a sign order for a franchisee yesterday so we worked on that, I did some reading, went to watch the superbowl with my dad and then went to the gym after. So it was a productive day.

    Gonna do some reading after this and listen to subliminals. Need to mark some more things off the list.

    Got my sex addicts group meet tonight at 7. So going to go to that.

    Should go to my martial arts class tomorrow to blow off some steam. We'll see how that goes.
     
  11. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    Didn't go to my SAA meeting yesterday and didn't go to martial arts today, but other than that I have been doing good, had a very productive day today and have been feeling motivated. Gah I love this feeling

    I really am going to focus on that motivation feeling, I truly believe it can be harnessed.

    It's late and time to get some sleep. More as it comes.
     

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