Success story: Former porn addict living life

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by Sound fx, Aug 18, 2016.

  1. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    Been having a good week or so. Mother came to town and visited for a few days. Was great to see her.

    Went out last night with Jan to catch up with one of her friends thats moved out of town. Was good to see her. Me and Jan had really good sex last night, was a really strong connection. She was crying at the end briefly... Was pretty intense.

    Overall I have been pretty productive, taken it easy with mom being in town of course, but still been reading and listening to my affirmations. Been doing it every night too.

    Think I have had a break through on working on my sleep schedule, and more importantly waking up when I need to and not pushing the snooze button for an hour. Instead of hitting the snooze and immediately trying to fall back asleep, and instead of immediately waking up and getting out of bed which is difficult because I like the comfort of the bed and cuddlilng with Jan, just start WAKING UP in bed. Don't close your eyes and turn over to get comfortable again, keep your eyes open and start checking your emails, and put on affirmations. That way I don't depend on the snooze button, I don't wake up more tired, I don't waste time, and I don't go back in my sleep cycle for low quality sleep that really doesn't have any significance.

    Overall it felt great, spent 10-15 minutes in bed with Jan and was awake for it, and didn't wake up last minute in a frenzy to hurry.

    Haven't been to the gym with mom in town, so me an Jan will be going tonight.

    Still been studying stocks and improving my skills in that. I am actually reading an online book on Investopedia called Five Minute Investing. Learning alot there. Also my mom has something she's very interested in wanting me to check out, will be doing that today.

    I cannot express the value of having a daily To Do list. It takes all my internal need to take action and be productive, and puts its in a form that I can express and go after. If I can just take the next step, and turn some of this motivation towards Jiu Jitsu, and boxing, and importantly improving my cardio (jogging every morning) I will be in a very good place and very very proud of myself.

    Also would be cool to start veering towards the direction of real estate investing, slowly building some momentum with that.

    My diet has improved, and although its not perfect I am getting better.

    My outlook has been good, have been feeling confident and knowing/reminding myself of my worth. Felt like a badass having two girls with me last night.

    My journey continues, it's not over, a constant work in progress. Til next time.
     
  2. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    Update... Things have been going pretty good. Alot has been changing at work, the company is going through some major changes in general and having to invest alot of my time and energy in making sure that everything is handled the right way with this whole thing to protect ourselves.

    So just going through the motions with that, it's taking up alot of me, but it's definitly something that has to be done and its something I am gladly doing to benefit myself (hopefully).

    Might be moving again in the next year or so, which I'm willing to do as long as it is beneficial in the long run...

    Other than that been doing decently well, masturbated twice yesterday, one quickly off fantasy and then one with pornography at night... First time was just a build up to be completely honest, me and jan haven't had sex because her period has been going on for a very long time. And haven't jacked off so I needed a release, second time was where I had a long day and was staying up too late, shouldve went to bed earlier but was on an important phone call and after that was spending time looking on Amazon when I should've been getting to bed. Lesson learned, haven't been in that particular situation in a while but I have noticed a pattern of using when I am staying up way past when I should.

    Gonna start experimenting with nootropics/supplements/memory enhancers. Making an amazon order of pretty much just that and several books I want to read. Productivity baby. There are days when I get my full 8 hours and still feel tired. Trying to figure out things to prevent that. My maca pill I have started taking immediately upon waking, and need to get back on drinking 16 oz of water on an empty stomach as well.

    But then I got to work, drank a super greens drink that I found (think it was my moms) and made my cup of coffe, then about 2 hours or so into myshift when I eat I take the rest of my supplements for the day.

    Almost sounds like I'm dependent on this stuff for energy... lol. But the only thing that could be considered "bad" would be the coffee, so I'll maybe I'll ween down to about half a cup of coffee. Everything else is very healthy for me.

    Been studying the stock market almost every day, there's a online book I'm reading on investopedia, and been reading an article a day. Finished reading a Teddy Roosevelt biography yesterday, 265 pages and read it pretty quick. Almost done with my leadership book I am reading, and I have a happiness book that has short stories that acts as a daily reader. So determining which book I am gonna take on next, in place of the book I just finished, and figure out the book after that to take the place of the leadership book, rotating three and reading a bit of each almost everyday has seemed to work out very well. Think I will continue that.

    I am working on staying more productive in the early part of the day too. Having the goal of having everything on my To Do list done by 5 (a bit over halfway through my work day) to have the rest of the day to be spontaneous. For example all I have to do for the rest of the day is determine which book next I'm going to read (very low maintenance and fun) and make a phone call thats time related and cant be done now. Journaling wasn't even on the list today but have been very productive. Been a good day.

    Been doing boxing excercises every day. Jump rope, will do 500 a day at the other shop, flexibility excercise at both shops, pushups that help with punch strength, and shadow boxing, ducking excercises. Really, really, need to committ to getting some cardio in every morning, even a little bit, just 15 minutes, will make a hugggeeee difference!!! And I hate being gassed, that will help me get over my fear of getting in there and my tank running out... lol. Just getting out of bed 20 minutes earlier and I a good start to the day, and just 30 productive minutes earler and I have an amazing start to my day!!! I must do this!!!

    Jan has started a new job, and was enthusiastic about getting up earlier... Which I am all for, we kind of feed each others bad habit of sleeping in. So maybe we can break it together, that would be great.

    I need to get started back on Jiu Jitsu, I am being held up by wanting perfect action, when immediate action is much better option!!! I can work on it right when I get back from the bachelor party, which my buddy is having in a couple weeks.

    That will be fun, get to get away and relax and spend soem time with my buddies. Gonna be a shit show... Lol.

    Supposed to be going to the beach with Jan Sunday, looking forward to that. Also looking forward to Halloween, and Thanksgiving and then the beloved offseason!!! :) Life is good.
     
  3. Robane

    Robane Member

    Hey man. Earlier you wrote about some affirmations and subliminals that you are listening to. Can you post a link to some of those please?
     
  4. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    Sure man, alot of good ones out there.

    My favorites that I have been sticking with for a while are... (search on youtube for these)

    "Infinite skills unleash your genius learner and master anything" Subliminal Shinobi
    "Imagine: Manifesting your dreams" Jason Stephenson
    "Increased Learning Ability" Rockstar Affirmations
    "Endless energy subliminal" Mind Audio Central
    "Better at gymnastics, athleticism improvement" Mind Audio Central

    Good luck :)




    Okay, so my buddy has his bachelor party in New Orleans... Had a great time down there. Did a whole bunch of stuff... Went to the clubs/bars/strip club, checked out the sites, went to the casino they have down there, got my buddy a suprise dominatrix, ate good food and got a good buzz.

    Spent way too much money on strippers though... Paid 400 dollars for a 30 minute session in the back... What the fuck... That impulse man, I just went for it without too much thinking, just wanted to get off.

    Then after the trip I got a dominatrix to try it out for myself... Long story short I didn't like that shit. Wont be doing it again. I fear that my impulse to spend money on sexual stuff is starting to get worse compared to better. I actually just thought of a good idea... I can starting reading my sexaholics anonymous book. On my to do list for the day is start a new book, and I have two spots that I can use, so that sounds like a plan. Start reading either "The Success Principles" that I've really been wanting to read or finish "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" and my SAA book.

    Does feel good to be back and get on the grind so to speak. I love being productive and I love making my to do list and knocking it out piece by piece.

    Did some scouting in the big city looking for a spot before I came back home yesterday and couldn't find anything... Just have to pray about it that we are put in the best position to succeed.

    Kind of had a breakthrough in my spirituality I think... Reading my short daily reader, which was my happiness book about a week ago or so, and the guy says he isn't a Christian but prays about an hour a day. I am a christian but I don't think you need to label it, I just think you need to have a connection with the source. When you have that, all the other stuff falls into place.

    Purchased a smart drug pack, its called OptiMind, supposed to help with focus, memory and energy. Took it about 45 minutes ago and I definitly feel pumped up, lets see how the day goes.

    Got alot of stuff to do, and am almost out of supplements for my daily blend for energy and health, so need to make that Amazon order today and get it going in the mail.

    Lots of stuff to do today, and I like the challenge, lets do it
     
  5. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    Also on a side note I would like to start studying game again, I have a girlfriend and wasn't trying to fuck anybody but I was hitting on ladies when we were out and about to keep my game sharp for when the time does come with Jan (not being disloyal or not valueing her but we have talked about it and when I or her move we are going to cut the relationship off).

    When I went out i was pretty damn rusty, got better towards the end but definitly something I want to be sharp at for when the time comes. Had a great game book I read about a year or so ago and it did wonders for me, maybe I'll read it again at some point.
     
  6. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    Been a couple of weeks since I've written, time for an update.

    Okay... Firstly, sex with Jan hasn't been going very well. My dick seems to go through stages of working well and then being kind of flatlined, and I feel its been flatlined pretty bad, over time with that and several failed times of having sex over the last year or so I think I have developed some pretty strong performance anxiety. Not performance anxiety in the form of "omg am i doing this right, will she like it?" but more along the lines of worrying if I will be able to perform. On top of that she has had her period for a solid 2 and a half months and it is making it difficult.

    Really drags my self esteem down. I think its time to lightly start using viagra just so I get back on track, after that then we can go off of it again. At one point I didn't think that I was ever going to have too use viagra again... lol. Although I do use a natural libido booster. Even thought of throwing them away because things were working so good, glad I didn't haaaa.

    So I'll do that, just to get back on track and have some good quality sex with her... I am going to be moving in about three months, so although it probably is gonna make it even more difficult with good sex, we will remember our times and go out with a "bang". Which is a good thing I think, and helps me rewire that much more when we break up.

    I fucking love that girl man... I don't think I've ever cried so much haaaa. She is just so amazingly sweet, and kind, and loving, and has got an amazing heart, and amazingly loving and accepting family that she got it from. So happy, and full of life... I don't know if I will ever find a girl that amazing again... It's just incredible... Not drama, no major fights, great communicator... Sheesh. It just hurts man...

    I almost want to make a post and post it in the over 50+ forum to get some advice on what to do... The downsides to our relationship is she's very very lazy, she's great at her schoolwork but everything else she seriously lacks self control, very messy, doesn't want to work out, doesn't want to diet, doesn't really work on herself... And the sex thing, which I think subconsciously I blame somewhat on her but I know is me... The timing just isn't right... I haven't fully healed... Like I told her...

    I almost feel that I'll need a couple more years before I'll fully be free of this thing, longer than that if I continue to use artificial sexual stimulation at the right I have been...

    But man, does she have an amazing soul...

    More when it comes. This is just the beginning! Pressure makes diamonds!

    Halloween tonight so I'm going to enjoy my time with my lady and friends.
     
  7. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    Okay updates. I have been doing good the past few days! Like really good! Been very productive and my enthusiasm is growing. I know I've been grinding and grinding, and I finally feel like all the my work is about to "tip" and pay off in a good way. My nutrition and diet has been great lately.

    MY SLEEP SCHEDULE. Has improved! I am really really trying to have a consistent sleep schedule. Wake up at 10:15 and go to bed @ 2. I really think this is gonna do wonders for me as I get it down more and more. Waking up at 10:15 gives me enough time to get up, read my personal mission statement, go running in the morning (does wonders for waking me up getting a good start for the day) and on weekdays when we open later my penile enlargement/kegal excercises and reading and visualizing my goals in the morning. I really think it does come down to having a good morning/night routine. At night I will read off/visualize my affirmations and then listen to my subliminals/audio affirmations then go to sleep.

    Drinking water in the morning, taking my supplements, which help me get the day going.

    Been reading alot... I think I've got that figured out too. 3 books a day, 10 pages of 2 books, and the third book, which has alot of excercises, I read a short chapter(usually about 7 or 8 pages) a day and do all the excercises and make sure to reflect on the chapter more so than the other books.

    Been hitting the gym, went yesterday, two days before that. Going to a movie tonight... Will go after the movie tonight as well.

    I am pushing my comfort zone... And working to push it further and further.

    Went to one of my best buddies weddings this past weekend out of town, felt great, saw alot of good people I haven't seen in a while, danced, joked, laughed, had fun.

    Haven't had sex with Jan since I've been back, but movie night tonight, going to see Dr. Strange, so I'm sure it will happen after the movie tonight :)

    Been brushing my teeth at night too, which I've been feeling guilty for not doing lol. Working on my self discipline, and trying to make it fun.

    Okay on that note of all the positives... Before I got back to town I was slipping pretty hard in the abstinence area, and as far as using responsible sex... I spent two hours in the bathroom masturbating/phone sex using before I went to the strip club by myself... Spent a solid 400 bucks there... And then on my way to town I went to a rub and tug place... ehhhh.

    I felt tempted to use pornography last night... I slowed down the temptation, calmed myself down, and went to the bathroom to masturbate to fantasy of real life sex. It was responsible, and I FELT GOOD AFTER. Not saying I should do that every night, but it is a must better and safer alternative than what I was doing before. I remember when I was a kid just going through puberty... Masturbation to fantasy of girls I went to school with/knew and was attracted to was more than enough to get me off on a consistent basis... I am working on getting back to that... That's the maximum amount of stimuatlion i need to for masturbation... and I always leave feeling so much better than I would if I abused my sexuality and did something stupid.

    So that's the focus going forward. Keeping getting better and better at what I have been doing right, and focus on correcting what I've done wrong, shooting for a better and more effective alternative.

    More as it comes.
     
  8. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    Back on track with the exception of porn use yesterday.

    Okay journal time... I have been fairly productive over the past few days with the exception of pornography use yesterday.

    Really tried to hold off from using. But in the end all it takes is a few brief moments of mindless action and the spiral starts. I am determined to do better. I have been back on track after slipping pretty hard when I was out of town. I am making a point daily to do some study on sobriety and add it to my daily to do list every day. 10 minutes a day towards studying can go a long way so I will do that.

    Need to practice delaying... Delay the urge, don't give in, practice delaying the immediate and short term gratification.

    On a positive note I was very productive yesterday and even went to the gym and had a great workout and did PE all after my relapse. Normally I just shut down but had a surge of motivation. I really want to make the most of my life... I really do...

    Something that has continued to stick with me is the quote from the dark knight "its not who i am underneath, but what I do that defines me"

    ---I think that's a beautifully true quote. At the end of the day you can be a million things but if your actions don't line up, that who are you really?

    My secret for success: I work really hard at saying yes to the right things and work really hard at saying no to the wrong things.

    One day at a time. Lets do it.
     
  9. yearofchange

    yearofchange Your actions matter.

    Nice bud! I came across an interesting reddit post here https://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/comments/1q96b5/i_just_dont_care_about_myself/ about non-zero days. Easy concept, powerful idea. Vow now to make every day a non-zero day. That means that each day you will do one thing, no matter how small, that gets you closer to achieving your goals, whether it be learning one word of a new language, one pushup for a healthier body, one page of a book you want to read, whatever. The important thing is to always, each and every day to do at least one thing that would make that day a non-zero day.

    I'm gonna keep you to that studying you want to do. Even if it's 1 minute, that makes it a non-zero day.
     
  10. Robane

    Robane Member

    Hey Sound! I will PM some info on trading. Have been really busy lately. Sorry for late reply
     
  11. Robane

    Robane Member

    Hey man! The trading course I took was called Bulls On Wall Street with Kunal Desai. I took his 60 boot camp. It has really helped me improve my skills. I highly recommend it.
     
  12. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    I read it after you posted, I like that man! Definitly rings true for me today... one of those days lol. I also like how it talks about viewing your future self like a best friend... Whenever you need to do something good for yourself and dont feel like it, do if for your best buddy, your future self... Definitly a great article, thanks for the source. And i appreciate the motivation yearofchange... Means alot.
     
  13. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    Gotcha! Saw one of his intro vids for the course before... Looks cool. Might have to check it out at some point.
     
  14. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    Okay... So yesterday I used at about 6 am... Eh... The pain... lol. Guess I've been flatilining the past few days... Had major ED when watching porn and doing the dirty deed... Have sex with my girlfriend, 4 nights ago, without any help or libido booster, like real good natural sex and then out nowhere its like the flattline hit, and then the next night we had sex again, and was feeling sluggish down there so i took like 25 mg of viagra and still couldnt get it to 100%... Then didnt have sex the next night and used last night...

    Spent like 2 hours doing the usual deed. Searching, used some cam for a while, was lame, wasn't doing much for me. And then busted and went to sleep...

    The mess up was before we were going to go to the gym, at around 10, we fell asleep and took a nap, I guess that could be okay, BUT I DID NOT SET AN ALARM TO GET UP SHORTLY AFTER. And we both ended up sleeping til about 1:30 or so.

    This sleep schedule thing is really just a huge weakness of mine. For 3 years I've been typing on here that I really need to get a consistent sleep schedule and still haven't successfully done it consistently.

    This relapse, in particular reminds me of the old days, I have forgotten this pain... Staying up all night abusing artificial sexual stimulation, sleeping all day, feeling like shit, and finally being awake... by night time, all while being isolated the entire time. (my girl has been at her friends today & my business is closed for the season so I normallly don't get the oppurtunity to lay around and isolate all day. Which I'm glad I don't lol.

    Motivation to continue to get better, and gives me apprecation that I don't do this much anymore... lol

    I am going to post a seperate thing directly after this. Like I was talking to my life coach about (which thankfully I have got back to connecting with although he rambles and talks about off topic stuff... ALOT, lol) I need to take this time to refocus and start taking some more positive actions in my life. This next post will be free of the clutter that I can focus on.
     
  15. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    This is the offseason for my business, and I really really really, must take this time to increase my focus and productivity and build some new good habits. Habits that I normally dont do/have fallen off of, that will...
    A) Get me out of the house, positive movement is always good
    B) Help me building confidence from breaking new ground, in more uncomfortable situations actions that I will grow even further from
    C) Truly get me to the place that I will be proud of and will be able to fully say I'm living my full self and facing my fears
    D) Build courage
    E) Increase masculinity
    F) Make way in my life for even more positive habits that are more action oriented than passive (like reading or youtube videos, i.e. actions that I can do in isolation)

    THESE ARE HABITS I WANT TO BUILD AND HAVE ESTABLISHED BEFORE I MOVE TO THE BIG CITY.

    That is always something I can say, "do this for your future self, do this so when you go to the big city you have all the momentum on your side"

    The majority of these habits differentiate themselves from my other positive habits because these are for the most part are much more active than my normal routine and promote getting out, getting move and a breath of fresh air outside of my normal place of routine, in isolation.

    1. Start going to Sex Addicts Anonymous every week.
    (Like I suggested to my life coach, and he agreed with, because I've been slipping with the pornography as of late, and with me and Jan splitting up when I move I must get in there and become a part of the group, to get back on track. And this builds my courage of doing something that is very good for me, and I ultimately will enjoy. Allows me to get in there and socialize, get out of the house and have appointments and things to do, and follow through with, even during the offseason, carrying on into the season in the big city)

    2. Waking up at the same time every day and going to bed at the same time every day, and getting up immediately.
    (I have my alarm clock set for 10:15 every day. if I consistently stick to that, and make a point to be in bed by 2 every night, I can make it happen and build my sleep schedule. Start preparing for bed at 1 every.single.night. and be in bed by about 1:30 to do my mediations/affirmations and read anything I need to before cutting it all off directly at 2 (or 2:15 at the very latest) (Even if I stay up past my bedtime on night... Go sleep deprived, get up at 10:15 every single day, and go to bed early the night before, easier said than done but that's really what I need to do)

    3. Pursuing my athletic passion and hobby of MMA by going to classes every day and training
    (This really is my dream, I've always had a passion for sports and never fully pursued my passion in a sport. By doing this I will always say that I went for it and took a shot at my dreams. Getting in there are start out by simply taking 2 Jiu Jitsu classes a week. To learn and start building momentum. Shortly after start taking boxing/Muay Thai classes as my condidtion improves, to the point where I am training every single day and building the love of the "hunt". This will build my confidence to a new level going after what I really want, getting in the best shape I've ever been, building my toughness to a whole new level, and chasing my dreams unapologetically even going into the big city. Turning this into something theraputic and healthy for me all the while building my toughness and masculinity and gaining a great hobby I know I will be good at and be proud of)

    4. Jogging/Running every day in the morning
    (Helps me with my dreaded cardio problems, starts my day off with something to get me out of the house and moving in the morning to refocus for the day. At its core running has never been something I've enjoyed but it's something I've always admired. Cardio conditioning has always been my weakness physically and to be able to know I conqurered that will do wonders for my self confidence, and my confidence in myself to face my weak spots and overcome them. Wow, what a powerful feeling have conquered another weakness and made it a strength. Can get up immediately after waking, drink a bottle of water, get my running clothes on a go for a jog. Doesn't have to be long, 15 minutes a day, up to 30 minutes a day at max, something simple and quick, every day, to conquer another positive habit to make it mine)

    5. Increased consistency with Penile Enlargement and Kegals
    (I've gotten better at this, but just continued work on this, after my morning run, a great thing I can do is shower and then do my PE, all will take about an hour and will get an amazing start on my day, all time that I would have wasted over sleeping or laying around doing nothing... What a great hour of benefit that is nothing but profit to build momentum for the rest of the day)

    6. Improved diet/cooking, and gym 6 days a week with Jan
    (This is something me and my girl have improved upon already but something to continue to do. I don't know if I have ever made it to the gym consistently 6 days a week. And the good I am doing for her moving forward getting her into the habit of going to the gym and eating healthy is something I know she wants to do just needs the push and the example of discipline to achieve. The diet is something that will help our fitness goals and take us to the next level of health we want)

    All these things are big actions. Actions that get you moving, which in turn gets your mind refocused and back on task.

    These are 6 relatively simple habits, that if I went after and physically "chased", would make me so proud of myself and relieve me of the guilt and worry that I'm not going after my dreams. This will give me the pride and confidence I am looking for, knowing that I can look at myself in the mirror knowing I really, truly, went after what I want and went after my dreams.

    This will help all areas of my life so much... And how much would it really take to do this every day? Maybe 5 hours a day? Not even a full time job... This will keep my confident and focused on my career, help my physical, mental and emotional well being and give me the confidence in myself and my masculine toughness that I have always wanted.

    Let's get it.
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2016
  16. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    Had a decent day so far! Been very productive!

    Started the day sleeping in as usual. I did however go get an old school bell alarm clock last night and set it for 10 am, and it went off and went really well, was real loud lol.

    But even though I slept in I got up, took my supplements, got some coffee and went running. Ran for 15 minutes in a new area, was nice.

    Another thing I did that helped boost my productivity I think was I wrote my to do list the night before, so when I woke up I had a list of things to tackle immediatly upon waking. Got a good amount of it done so far, still have a lot to do though.

    So I'm not gonna spend too much time on this, knock it off the list and get to the next thing.

    Feels good. If I can start getting up at 10 like I want then I'll really be there!!!
     
  17. yearofchange

    yearofchange Your actions matter.

    Nice! Preparing for the next day the night before does wonders. Keep it up!
     
  18. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    Thanks man!!!! I did it today too and it seems to have helped. have knocked out close to half my list for the day a couple hours before I normally even get out of bed lol Probably something I need to start doing from now on.
     
  19. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    Okay so updates, went to my Sex Addiction class on Monday, felt good to finally get in there again... I was nervous about going in and felt anxious and uncomfortable especially at first, but as time went on I got more accustomed to everything. Felt good to get in there and get all this stuff on my chest. And I'm glad I went.

    Been reading a new book "The Obstacle is the Way" talking about turning trials to triumphs. One of the things it mentioned was about Rockefeller, and how he stood calm, clearheaded and confident when everyone was panicking in the department of finance. Main jist of it is no one makes you feel anxious, fearful, or panicked, you choose to feel that way. Kind of made me think while I was in the room for SAA and calmed me down. Fear is an emotion that you don't have to give into, you can rise above it and do the things you want to do.

    Had a great day yesterday with my girl, we woke up real late as usual (didn't actually wake up til 1:30 and got out of bed around 2) but went on a double date type of thing spontaneously and went to Joe's Crab Shack and a movie after that. It was good to get out of the house and socialize and have a bit of fun. Then we got back to the house we made love later that night which was real good. My gear was working good and was able to relax and enjoy the moment with her.

    Also, got our reading in before bed, and cleaned up the house some before going to sleep.

    Been doing our daily reading together (2 books, 10 pages each) usually later at night, last night right before bed (which I think does good because it soaks up in your subconscious mind as you sleep). And I've been listening to my subliminal recordings right before bed faithfully as well.

    Been going to the gym consistently as well. Didn't go yesterday as I think we are going to do 3 days on, 1 day off and went 3 days in a row. But that's been good. And the day before yesterday I got up and did my 15 minute jog around the house and found a better route to go that I enjoyed, and was fun exploring lol. Didn't go yesterday because of going out, and wouldve went already today but it's been raining, will go after it subsides. I think running for me is vitally important in the morning.... It's something I don't necessarily enjoy doing (yet), and its challenging and something I've always kind of disliked. That's exactly why I need to do it, because it's difficult for me and it's productive. I do feel really great when I'm done and I'm proud of my self when I finish... Always make me a protein shake right after as well.

    One thing I have fallen off of (not completely but somewhay) which I need to do is my PE exercises, It's kind of a difficult thing to pull off, so I think that's why getting in the morning routine, of waking, morning water, then possibly coffee/nootropics, then running, then protein shake, and then shower sets me on such a great track for the day and with waking up at 10:30 and immediatly starting that routine (with to do list already filled out from the night before) I will have all that done before I even normally wake up by a long shot, like a couple hours.

    I think 10:30 is a good time to get up... Getting ready for bed around 1 to 1:30, have time for reading and subliminals before bed.

    That's all for now I guess, more as it comes. Been a good few days and with getting up early today I feel I am getting over the laziness bug I've had lately.
     
  20. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    Okay so it's been a great day just wanted to briefly post on here.

    Thoughts- Waking up early, (at 10:30) is DEFINITELY the way to go. I set my phone alarm for 10:15, and have the bell alarm set for 10:30 on the other side of the room, that way I'm half awake already when I have to get up to cut the ringer alarm off.

    Preparing my to do list and being more intentional and responsible before bed has done wonders for me! I start preparing for bed around 1-1:30. Go brush my teeth, and look at my self in the mirror, (talking to myself as corny as it sounds) and listing the things I did right today and appreciating those things, and telling myself good job and a pat on the back. Then get into bed and put together my to do list for the next day, then I read 10 pages or so of a positive book, then I pick up my to do list again and reread it to myself, then visualize myself going through this list at my best the next day and having an ideal day where everything with smoothly and with top performance. Then I cut off the lights and listen to my subliminals and focus on my breathing and being present, along with some more visualization related to the affirmations, then go right to bed after listening.

    What a freakin routine! Starting to get things more and more figured out. Felt like I've been on a plateau lately but feel I have broken out of it though. Like I was telling my life coach though I need to stay humble, because it only takes a few mistakes or a couple days of slothfulness and laziness to fall back. So I will keep pushing and keep trying to break ground.

    Also did my running this morning, did my PE excercises and got a shower right after. So it's been a productive day.

    Was researching kegal excercises and got some good information. Instead of doing my kegals with my PE I'm gonna do a set of 25 (the guy suggested 50 but I like to take it nice and slow with that stuff) in the morning and evening like was suggested. And bump my way up to 50.

    Talked to my life coach today and told him how I'm feeling like I'm in a really good place (haven't used porn since before the meeting by a few days so it's been about a week or so) and feel the momentum is building and I need to take advantage of it. We got on the subject of me having a strong desire to do martial arts like we often talk about and I have made a committment and put a deadline on me going to a class by next Thursday at the lastest when we talk next. We talked about me reading in a book that the first lesson of martial arts is humility, because if you go in there with a huge ego you will not show up very son due to your ego being hurt of being beat so much. So I'm gonna go in there with the approach of looking to learn and being okay with being the beginner and white belt.

    My life coach said it's all about how you look at it, so don't even think to much about the getting beat up part, think of you're going in there to learn, to improve yourself, to learn a new art, to connect with something new and chase after your dreams. So that's what I'm gonna do, go in there, have fun, and learn.
     

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