Serious REBOOT 90 days Hardmode.

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by APA, Apr 26, 2015.

  1. APA

    APA Member

    Day 21,
    After a good long sleep , everything is seemingly fine . My body is charged up . I developed a small habit that I will keep on nurturing so that it becomes a permanent part of my life . Sometimes my keys used to be missing , sometimes I could not find my wallet , that wasted a lots of precious time ,created frustration and sometimes humiliation in front of people. So I came up with a simple solution assigning specific places to specific things and only placing those things there whenever I come back home . This small little habit is a small little step to greatness.
     
    chrism likes this.
  2. APA

    APA Member

  3. APA

    APA Member

    DAY 27,
    My life is now moving forward in the right direction . I am again starting to feel the benefits of living a pure life . Yesterday I hanged out with Friends with a clear mind and I was enjoying a lot like i used to when I was a kid . My body is really charged up and is now in good shape . I came home late and slept like a baby. Woke up for morning prayer , prayed and stayed in mosque for some time . The feeling of not mixing up with people was gone. I came back home and i was about to plan my day ahead . I just held the dairy and pen in my hand and feeling of dizziness took over me and I slept . I woke up with a call from my friend , I had commited with him that I would take him to gym with me . I was late. I didnot panicked rather for some reason I was still calm . As i moved downstairs the urge to have a partner striked me that turned into fantasy . As my body was fully charged and needed a real partner at that time . The urges were very strong they almost took over me but I got out of them by remembering Allah and the versers of Quran and reminding myself that this little sacrifice is insignificant when compared to the quality of life that i get after living a pure and clean life. with clear conscious. This makes me brave , confident, proactive, kind and selfless. This nurtures the good person in me . I reminded myself I need to save this energy in me for my spouse that i am going to get married with soon. After having this confrontation with the urges i WON . These moments turns into life changing moments Because they define our destiny . These decisions are life changing decisions because now we Know the reality of it . The war is not over even though I won today but it might return . But i am happy and satisfied that i m moving in right direction and now I am experiencing the benefits .
     
  4. APA

    APA Member

    Day 30,
    Things are getting extremely tough for me. I need to get the burden off my shoulder . So need to talk .
    I am having strong urges and I gave into fantasy several times over past two days . That damged my self esteem , I was stuck , helpless and very negative . That impacted my REAL life . Missed deadlines , strange behaviour with people , loads of regret, hopelessness. Thought of relapsing again came several times . I thought that might be able to get me out of this frame of mind and I could get back on track without making any serious mistake. But deep down inside I knew I have relapsed 3 times probably after reaching 30 days since my major streak ended . This little HOPE made me write here instead of relapsing that things will get better Relasping is not the solution these might be temporary withdrawal symptoms or a mistake . I got it two days ago I was really charged up but I was most of the time alone . I should have utilized this energy somewhere productivily . instead I gave into fantasy. This small little thought turned into a monster and took over me and made my life crippled . I donot want to start all over again . I have been acting like a wiredo in public for last two days . When I am in between I feel alike only my half brain is working this leads to stupid decision making and as a result frustration that leads to negativity. So I am getting back up . I will go staright to take a shower . I will get back up . I am hoping for better future . Sometimes satan whispers things will never mend , But I now If I remain persistent everthing will mend better than before and this is just a temporary . Fantasy do makes us weak .Our intellectual abilities and decision making powers are heavily effected. My life is very good and it will become great once I get rid of this dirty little secret. InshA. Rreminding myself of the oath that I once took I WILLLLLLLLLLLLL WITH THE THE HELP OF GOD REACH 90 DAYS shortly after that I will get a real life partner and than I will be free forever.
    'I have been an addict since I was 13 yrs old , this pmo habbit has been a cause of lots of my failures and pain.
    I donot think I have ed problems and I m a Virgin , but due to excessive use of internet porn and fantasizing I m lacking behind in real life and not been able to unveil my true potentials . I m a guy who loves personal and character development. This cannot be achieved without self control . Self control cannot be achieved without controlling our lust and directioning it in the right direction. I want to push my self in all three dimensions to the fullest ( spiritual, mental and physical).
    In short I m at one of the lowest times in my life and I think this secret demon of pmo is the reason , so I will fight it and Eliminate it through a 90 days challenge in which I will regularly post , so I could remind myself and others of effects I would be experiencing.
    Not Failure but Low aim is a crime, So I m starting It with high aims and by Putting my trust in GOD that I will accomplish my aim.' (InshA)
     
  5. APA

    APA Member

    If anyone read my Journal please pray for me that I become successful in my objective . Sincere Prayers can move mountains.
     
  6. APA

    APA Member

    Day 32,
    After a great storm ends there is a calm period . I think I survived the storm and things are back to normal . It was really tought fanatasy and negativity almost took over me two days ago but I didnot relapsed. Verily with hardship there is ease . A small little fantasy can be a real threat to the entire reboot. I learned the lesson . I am sailing smoothly now. I not burdening my self too much . And one thing at a time strategy helps me to stay focused. After offering morning prayer I slept late till 11 in the morning i was totaly charged and my mind was very relaxed and positive. Many of the negativity issues are because of doing so many things and lack of sleep. Now as pmo and fanyasy issue are under control I will foucous on commitements. Even though I am mind ful of the commitments that I make with people but still a lots of work needs to ve done on it.
     
  7. APA

    APA Member

    Day 33,
    There are some new synonyms in my life .
    Pmo and Fantasy = Pain and Suffering.
    Progress = Happiness.
    Isolation = negativity.
    Lack of commitment = humiliation and low self esteem.

    Things are going good . I was working almost entire day at home . I thought to myself most of my close buddies are now scattered in different parts of the world . Therefore sometimes i feel isolated because i don't have sincere group of friends around me anymore except for my family that is a big blessing. So i checked my mobile and stared calling my friends with whom i can meet . I went out to visit my friend , had fruitful discussions met new people that was a good positive outing . Prolonged isolation triggers negativity even if it is for a good purpose. I had to pick up my neighbor and drop him some where I forgot , but as soon as i realized i went straight to him and apologized . Facing the consequences of our negligence relieves us from the burden of regret. No traces of pmo and fantasy in this day so i will mark it a good day.
     
    tricking mind and chrism like this.
  8. tricking mind

    tricking mind Member

    A/w good work brother keep moving , fruit of reboot will come into later life and u r right, isolation causes negativity and negativity causes suffering and our life seems to become harder and triggers off for the pleasure . i m just told my self whatever our condition we need to accept it ,PMO never help in it ultimely it do the opposite ,reality of our life remains the same and we lost in our fantasy and never able to good at our potential and started to hate our self , it is just vicious cycle.
     
  9. APA

    APA Member

    Day 43,
    Finally crossed the 40 days barrier after a long time. The mental barrier between me and Pmo n Fantasy is getting stronger. I think I am slightly moving back towards clear thinking . Things are gaining momentum . I hate porn and fantasy 4 life. It is my enemy . It makes matters worse. Whenever bad things happen never try to find solace in the arms of PMO and Fanatasy . THIS IS A TRAP. It will make things worse and will create hopelessness and dispear. I have been fooled by this . This wasted a lot of my precious time. Robbed me off my motivation , self esteem , courage and intelligence. The only way to redeem myself is to get back at the same level and never ever even go near it because NOW THE REALITY OF IT HAS BEEN CRYSTAL CLEAR TO ME. The fruit of patience and persistence is sweet and Life is looooot better without PMO and Fantasy.
    Thanks brother prolonged isolation is very dangerous . Negativity puts us in a cage and positivity lets us free. I just remembered a great thing make big goals , turn them into smaller acheivebale target and once the target is achieved celebrate. Sometimes this journey becomes tough it can be converted into a positive source of happiness through this.
     
  10. lukelcs

    lukelcs New Member

    Whassup UnderDog. I've been here for the first time around march of last year, straight from yourbrainonporn(dot)com. Good to see that you're still here and active, I had the chance to learn so much from you and from another guy who made that thread called "The No Arousal method", among others. It motivated me to quit PMO and in my first try I lasted 114 days before relapsing. It had a very big effect on me, I have never returned to the zombie mode I used to live on even though I couldn't made it past 20 days since then, and the last two weeks have been worse, stuck at home, unemployed and PMOing everyday, but this was the last day, I got to get a grip.
    Being here is of extreme importance for me to succeed this time, as it helped me to stay strong during my last year's streak. I'll probably not write a journal but I'll surely be checking and commenting in other people's posts if it helps.
    :cool:
     
  11. APA

    APA Member

    day 45,
    Thanks but i am not the administrator ( underdog ) of this forum . I am MRundedogg just a normal user here. I will change my name this has created some confusions before . By the way best of luck for your journey in freedom from pmo and fantasy. iF you get past the first 40 to 50 days things will become smooth .Things to get better and organized as we distance ourself from pmo and fantasy.
     
  12. APA

    APA Member

    Now I am APA .
     
  13. APA

    APA Member

    Day 47,
    I realized yesterday that i am suffering from brain fog and I am having difficulty in clear thinking. This thing has improved but not to that level that i achieved before.Too much Fanatasy and pmo stimulates brain too much and this is been labled as the cause of Brain fog by many people . Back when I totaly refrained from pmo and fantasy i felt magical benifits and my life was at its best . I am slowly moving back to that target. Things are getting better in class and at work . Yesterday had a great achievement in my small little business . I was flying in the air my confidence was sky high . Things do get better in life. But sometimes i feel down and hopeless . I think this is part of the recovery . The ups and downs they will come .Till I reach my goal of greatness and contentment.I remember a saying from lesbrown that when the plane is about to Fly the air hostess says fasten your seats beacuse the plane will be jerking Once thats over the plane starts flying smoothly, These are temporary inconveniences . I have hope in the mercy of GOD that HE will give me the courage and patience to move forward.
     
  14. APA

    APA Member

    Day 77,
    I am back , I have been going fine , I gained momentum and BOOM . Now I am going extremely strong . All praise be to Allah. The technique is simple No fantasy . Keep the mind clean . This will heal our brain because it all stems from our brain and our thoughts. You will experience lots of things but stay firm and than reap the rewards. A great , confident , clear , pure successful , guilt free and productive life is the reward we get after leaving this. Pmo and sins were making my mind numb now things are becoming clear . I can distinguish between good and bad . I can make better decision . I was acting stupid in front of people some times because of the brain fog that I had because of pmo over these years , It is almost gone .
    I landed a job twice my previous salary because i was not focusing on fantasy about girls rather i was busy in reality getting things done and living my life that i don't want to regret when i grow old . I still need to improve my work in the study classes that I take . This is a time mangment
    issue that i am working on. I am very happy , I am feeling the progress . The brain is become clearer . I have developed a strong morning habbit . I am quite consistent at waking up at 5 am . This is a big milestone . I am slowly but surely climbing back towards SUCCESS. This clip sums it up in a better way.
    Two more great lessons I learnt during the reboot.

    1. Never replay the past scenes in mind they will only turn us on and will do no benefit. Learn from the past , live in the present and hope for the future.
    2. Keeping oneself busy in meaning ful things . Have purpose in life . Strive for it . I didnot had time to fantasyze because I had deadlines to meet, or i had to go out with a friend , do some shopping , pray . In short be busy in living life . Fill the empty slots productively.
     
    tricking mind likes this.
  15. APA

    APA Member

    day 89 ,
    Everything has changed or i might say back to normal . I have climbed out of the hole of relapses finaly . Enjoying life to the fullest . Facing the bitter and sweet realities of life and staying away from fantasy . just one day away from 90 days . :)
     
  16. APA

    APA Member

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