Screw#Femdom [OPEN GROUP]

Discussion in 'Groups & Meetups' started by RolandOfGilead, Dec 12, 2014.

  1. WanderingSoul

    WanderingSoul Member

    Also that is a very very small percentage of women you are totally warped right now.
     
  2. Naruto558

    Naruto558 Member

    . Check this video out guys. Once you have reached this state of mind you can use affirmations to make changes to your subconcious mind. I used it to elimnate my fetish almost entirely. The results will take about a week to show up tho.
     
  3. breaking_free

    breaking_free New Member

    @WanderingSoul - I definitely found what you wrote here encouraging- "Every time you catch yourself about to look at porn, or looking at and stop, that's a victory. Every single time.". It's reassuring to feel that it's not just about how many days/weeks/months someone goes porn-free, it can also be seen as a moment by moment process.

    I think this type of thinking also helps to ground myself in the present moment a bit more. When urges arise, I say to myself "Right now, in this moment, I'm going to choose not to act upon these urges".

    @Naruto558 - Interesting video link. Do you mind me asking what kinds of affirmations you have been using, in addition to the meditation practice?

    ----

    So I've now been mostly clear of the femdom/findom stuff for 3 days, which isn't long I know- but given how deep in the hole of addiction I've been, even this feels like at least it's some progress. I did just want to share a few minor things that have been helping me:

    1. Something particularly nasty that Femdom porn or online Dommes in particular tend to do is to sexualise and fetishise all of the negative consequences of the addiction itself.

    Some examples of this, include Dommes saying things like "go into debt for me", or "I will ruin your marriage" - but they say these things at the same time as they are deliberately provoking feelings of sexual arousal in order to condition your mind into linking the destructive effects with feelings of arousal.

    Similarly, a massive theme in Femdom porn is the idea that "addiction is sexy". I've unfortunately spent a lot of time in that world and know for a fact that they are fully aware that many men are trying to quit this addiction, and they make the idea of tempting a struggling addict into "giving in" a central theme of much of their content.

    The point I am making here is that with many addictions, thinking about negative consequences can be a helpful motivation to overcome the addiction, but with Femdom, thinking about the life ruining consequences can actually serve as a trigger.

    So, I have recently thought of a technique which is helping me to break this catch 22.

    Instead of thinking about these horrible consequences from my own perspective - I picture people in my life who I love and care about- family members and so on. And I think "Would I want them to be trapped in this horrible addiction, having it ruin their lives?".

    If you can't think of a family member, maybe even think of a younger person you may know- and ask whether you'd want them to grow up to be exposed to and addicted to all this kind of stuff.

    When I think about it from this perspective, I shudder at the idea of anyone I love or care about being trapped in this horrible place. It conjures up feelings of DISGUST towards these porn producers and online Dommes who are causing so much damage, instead of the pre-conditioned feelings of arousal.


    2. I am trying to remain present and conscious of my own thinking as much as I can. In fact, I'm clinging on to the "thinking" part of my mind for dear life- because I know how powerful the part of my brain that wants to engage in porn addiction can be. It's capable of totally hijacking my entire brain and causing me to do stuff I always regret later.

    I'd liken my thinking process right now to the same one you might have in a dangerous city. You would need to be constantly aware - looking out for potential situations that could cause trouble. I am trying to be constantly aware of any "danger zones" - times, situations, places, ect- that are likely to cause me to become tempted.
    I try and identify them as early as possible, and then divert myself away from them- get out of the room/house ect- and do something else.

    This stuff definitely isn't easy- in fact it's a huge struggle and I am fearful that I could relapse any day, any moment.

    But I'm massively encouraged by seeing people on this forum and elsewhere who are managing to pull their lives together after similarly destructive addictions.
     
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2017
  4. breaking_free

    breaking_free New Member

    I also wanted to add that I've been thinking a lot about many of these women who have Twitter accounts set up to do Financial Domination.

    I think it's worth saying for any guys who happen to read this in future that it is worthwhile looking past the pornographic images of themselves that they post and considering a little bit about the human being who set up the profile.

    Many of these Dommes actually have children. They have kids who are no doubt being neglected while they sit on the internet and perform filthy acts for the eyes of the world to see, with no shame.

    A great number of them use drugs / are intoxicated when they are engaging in sessions.

    It's worth saying these things - because by engaging with them, you could be helping to fund a drug habit, or ruin a childhood. It's this type of thinking that is helping me break the spell of this material, and see things differently.

    It's slightly ironic that many of these Dommes are on the internet all the time, posting explicit images of themselves, taking drugs, ruining the lives of everyone around them , and yet they call men "Losers". They make that little L shape with their hands. Surely, they are in fact the very definition of a loser themselves?

    Would anyone want a daughter for example, who engaged in that type of behaviour?

    I am only mentioning these things because they are all part of my own thinking process that is somewhat helping me as I start this journey to overcome this horrible addiction, and I hope if anyone else reads it , this might offer some perspective too.
     
  5. Naruto558

    Naruto558 Member

    It depends on what your insecurities are that lead you to use this type of porn. I just simply told my brain to get rid of all submissive wiring in my brain and it actually reduced the fetish urges quite a bit. TBH the results a bit surprising to me lolllll.
     
  6. Naruto558

    Naruto558 Member

    https://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/sexual-problems/sexual-fetish You can also try buying this product if you want to. After the first time a litsend to it my regular sexual desire began to come back right away. Unfortunatey i relapsed to femdom again and the tape no longer works at all. So if your going to try it make sure you never relapse while trying to retrain your subconscious.
     
  7. WanderingSoul

    WanderingSoul Member


    Right on brother. Congrats on three days. I can tell you are an intelligent person. You are completely in the right mindset. You are totally right about it not being about the days. Even though I'm counting my current streak, I have been gradually getting better for a while to the point where regular sex is very enticing to me now. Like being treated like a loser by a girl just seems more and more ridiculous to the point where I just don't even enjoy those kinds of fantasies anymore.
     
  8. breaking_free

    breaking_free New Member

    Thanks man I appreciate the kind words! And whilst you said it's not all about the number of days - I can see you've made it to 38 days, which is amazing, so congrats on that.
    Unfortunately last night I kinda relapsed. I say "kinda" - because I started browsing Femdom porn again, and began masturbating to it, but somehow managed to stop mid-way and not actually Orgasm to the material. So I don't know if it counts as a relapse or not. But I'm going to say it probably does.

    Anyway- I wondered if I could ask your advice- because i don't want to necessarily feel like I'm hijacking this thread by talking about my own issues - ideally it would be good to start my own thread and even if no one replies, I find documenting this journey quite helpful. Is there a specific section of this forum where those "personal journey" threads should be set up, or can you just create a new thread in any section?
     
  9. Naruto558

    Naruto558 Member

    You have to stop fantasy and edging if you want to recover 100 percent,Edging and fantasy always lead right to relapse.
     
  10. WanderingSoul

    WanderingSoul Member

    @breaking_free yes go to your specific age group, so it says you are 29, so 25-29 and post your personal journey there. Although typing here isn't really a big deal. Naruto is right you can't edge. Looking at porn and rubbing your dick is still indulging in the porn. if you keep doing that, you'll eventually do it where you just orgasm out of your control. Also your brain still sees that as a sexual experience even though it didn't orgasm.

    However with all that said, your progress is already starting. You were doing it every day to orgasm multiple times, now you did it without orasming 3 days later. Keep going.
     
  11. breaking_free

    breaking_free New Member

    Thanks guys- you're both right- any type of involvement with porn is still keeping the addiction going. Today I installed some software on my Mac. I've found a great app called "Self Control":

    https://selfcontrolapp.com/

    I like this one because you can block access to certain websites for a set period of time (anything from 15 mins to 24 hours). Once you activate it there's no way to switch it off that I'm aware of.
    I think setting this today has helped me just relax, and know that I can't go onto certain websites, even if I tried.

    If any of you guys have an iPhone, do you know any good apps for blocking websites? It's all too easy with the built-in settings simply to enter your password and by-pass any blocked websites.
     
  12. Naruto558

    Naruto558 Member

    purchase the product i put a link to yesterday. If it seems shady to you just get yourself a prepaid credit card and use that. Trust me if you listen to this theirs a 99 percent chance you will heal. i know this from experience bro. if i didn't relapse i would be cured from just listening to that recording. I know it may sound far fetched but just give it a chance.
     
  13. Naruto558

    Naruto558 Member

    the answer lies in changing your subconscious otherwise you will remain were you are forever. It is your choice what you wanna do but i would recommend buying this product
     
  14. breaking_free

    breaking_free New Member

    @Naruto558 Thanks for the suggestions. I guess I'm a little unsure whether I should buy it since you say it didn't actually work for you?
    I'm open minded about the hypnosis stuff- I guess it could work if applied consistently.
     
  15. Naruto558

    Naruto558 Member

    It did work. i got my regular libido back right away. however my fetish was still around and tricked me into believing it will never go away. i then relapsed and my progress with my regular libido came to a stop. so what im saying is if you decide to use it it will only work if you dont relapse to femdom.
     
  16. breaking_free

    breaking_free New Member

    @Naruto558 I'm willing to give something like Hypnosis files a try- and I take your word for it that it probably can be effective. However, something I am starting to learn is that unfortunately, that argument "it would have worked if only I hadn't.....(fill in the blank)" could be applied to so many things. I think overcoming this is just an ongoing process that will have setbacks and requires dedication and patience.
     
  17. WanderingSoul

    WanderingSoul Member

    Hypnosis is just about restructuring your unconscious mind and interpreting it properly.
    The right frontal lobe deals with subconscious, abstract ideas and your left frontal lobe articulates those and brings order to them.
    When you have a fantasy of femdom and you use your mind to change the fantasy, to reject it etc, you are reframing how your mind understands the world. You are taking those abstract ideas and reframing how your left brain looks at them. Instead of your left brain thinking they are the real world, your left brain realizes them for what they are, just fantasy. When you masturbate and engage those fantasies, you are manifesting them and giving them structure in your mind, because it thinks thats how the world will be so its getting ready essentially. When you reject the fantasies, your brain incorporates them into its structure but rather as things to be avoided in the world, things that aren't real. Your brain understands what heroine is, but it doesn't seek heroine in the world. It just has heroine in its category of things to be avoided. Do the same thing with femdom. Teach it to avoid that stimulus.
    Typically we frame and restructure out subconscious during our sleep, but you can do it during daydreaming, hypnosis, meditation or conscentrated thought. Since I started restructuring my fantasies, i have noticed the emergence of normal sexual dreams. Literally just fun interaction with women, which result in sex. This is what sex is supposed to be, this is my mind trying to incorporate that concept into its articulated structures so that it can manifest them into reality. When you subject your mind to nasty porn, your brain tries to manifest those concepts into reality, which don't work because they are not accurate representations of reality. Or rather they are, because your brain can find them in porn, but they are bad aspects of reality. Like drugs, you can find them, but they bring you down. Same thing with femdom, its real, its in the world, but its a detriment. This is why it's important to only expose yourself to real women or pictures at the most. And the pictures should not be some type of propaganda, like femdom or overly submissive women. Just real women in their natural form. Keep rewiring those fantasies, keep battling them every time they come and keep training your mind that it is real women who are where happiness is, not pixelated women.
     
  18. breaking_free

    breaking_free New Member

    Everything you say makes a lot of sense. And I can see you have reached 41 days - congrats on that. It's good to hear you have also noticed yourself being more inclined toward healthy forms of sexual expression, rather than porn-induced fetishes ect.

    I very much hope this theory of the brain "rewiring" itself is true, because a part of me is very worried that certain fetishes are simply a part of us, something we will never be able to get rid of. I see certain people who do the whole nofap thing, last a really long time, and yet ultimately are still on forums like this, still trying to get rid of unwanted fetishes.
    It's a scary thought - but what if somehow our biology or events when we are younger determine how our sexual preferences develop?

    I'm saying these things because I've had this Femdom fetish for so many years now (maybe even 10 years or more), and it's kinda hard to shake the idea that it may simply be a part of me that perhaps I need to learn to accept in some way and find healthy ways to embrace.

    On the other hand, it's hard to see how some of the fetishes I have developed could have a healthy expression. Verbal humiliation for example, is simply never going to be healthy for a persons self-esteem. It would obviously be much better, and much healthier, to be with a real woman, and enjoy actual sex, instead of requiring all of these weird fetishes in order to become aroused.
     

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