Screw#Femdom [OPEN GROUP]

Discussion in 'Groups & Meetups' started by RolandOfGilead, Dec 12, 2014.

  1. All very quiet here, hows everyone doing? Just chiming in, nearly up to 4 weeks of no PMO myself so on track to do that 90 days I mentioned above. Funny how for months I'd slip up every 2 weeks or so for a quick PMO yet this 4 weeks has been the easiest with no real temptation. Hope everyone is doing well.
     
  2. Somedude718

    Somedude718 New Member

    I've had a complicated few weeks. I went a good 3-4 months of no PMO. One week came where I thought I was gonna have sex. Well after not masturbating for almost 4 months I didn't want to come off as a minute man. So I decided a week before I was going to see this girl that i would shoot a few off so that we could have sex longer than 5 minutes. So Monday was the day I voluntarily masturbated and I waited till the following Saturday to see my friend. She ended up cancelling and i was really anticipating sex so I was a little let down so I ended up masturbating again on that Saturday.

    Except my mind was in such overdrive and I was craving the best release possible, I ended up watching porn. However, I didn't revert to the normal femdom stuff that I usually go for. This was just straight porn. A guy and a girl just doing normal things. Except for the fact that the girl was hotter than your average girl, that was a biggest stretch of fantasy.

    That was last week. I went all week without PMO but today of all days I decided to do it again. I ended up watching porn. This time I ended up watching some weird things, but nothing quite femdom. So I'm not sure what's going on with myself. Maybe after 3-4 months of no PMO I was possibly able to regress myself back from only being turned on by femdom? Should I keep going and go for a longer steak of PMO? Should I just keep up this pace of jerking off once a week with some light porn usage? I'm not sure. It's really difficult without having an actual person to fool around with to help me figure this stuff out. Thoughts?
     
  3. niskanen91

    niskanen91 Member

    For me, the only way to go is zero porn at all. I think that our brain is our biggest enemy and it will try to rationalize its way back into femdom porn, for me:

    - masturbating leads to femdom porn later on
    - "regular" porn leads to femdom porn

    So there's really no other way than giving up porn completely, remember that watching porn (no matter what genre it is) is connecting our sexuality to pixels. And to be honest, I don't even care if I cum after 1 minute (when I have sex), the goal is to teach my body and mind that sexual pleasure won't be obtained from my hand and pixels anymore.
     
  4. Somedude718

    Somedude718 New Member

    That makes sense when you think it out logically.
     
  5. jjveetec

    jjveetec Member

    Couldn't agree more.
     
  6. MB

    MB New Member

    Hey guys, I'm completely new to the site and have struggled with femdom basically since I can remember. It wasn't until recently that I actually figured out that this was holding me back from forming relationships with girls. I actually had a girlfriend throughout my entire time in high school. I participated in vanilla sexual activities but eventually it turned into a femdom themed relationship. Anyway we broke up, and since then (4 years ago) I haven't had any type of sexual relationship with a girl, mainly because my brain doesn't seem to desire regular sex anymore.
     
  7. Somedude718

    Somedude718 New Member

    May I ask how old you are? And when you say your vanilla sex with your gf turned into a femdom relationship do you mean you both went down a femdom path together or you continued to watch femdom porn during your relationship? Be as detailed as possible.
     
  8. niskanen91

    niskanen91 Member

    Could you elaborate on it more? Asking because a lot of people here have dilemma whether they should give up femdom fantasies or try to indulge in them in real life.
     
  9. MB

    MB New Member

    Okay, I just turned 22. Long story short, ever since I was a little kid I liked female dominance, it always confused me though but really didn't think anything of it. Started dating a girl in 8th grade, and never considered taking my mild femdom fetishes into our relationship. We had normal sexual intercourse. About 11th grade I realized that I could turn my relationship into a femdom type relationship, I encouraged her to be unfaithful, and that type of a thing. Over those next two years, I got off on the tought of her being unfaithful. We still occasionally had sex, but the more I got off on masturbation to the thought of her being unfaithful the more my sex performance with her dropped. It got to the point that I couldn't form or keep an erection without femdom scenarios. Now after we broke up, which was about 4 years ago now, I turned to hardcore femdom porn for pleasure. It wasn't until about a month ago I realized that I would never find another girlfriend if I don't lose this fetish. It's frustrating because I would love to have a girlfriend but anytime I have the opportunity to take a girl home when I'm out I stop myself because I understand that I'm so deep into these femdom fetishes that my brain doesn't react to anything but femdom that it would be impossible for me to form an erection. Its just super frustrating because I'm young and girls always flirt with me but little do they know I'm just simply incapable of having sex. I have also considered taking ED pills to help have vanilla sex, not sure if anyone has any thoughts on that, I know I need to stop masterbating to rewire my brain, but for the time being I feel as if an ED pill would allow me to have normal sex. Any thoughts would be awesome, thanks guys.
     
  10. jjveetec

    jjveetec Member

    I feel for you MB
    We've all been through this.
    Femdom becomes a memory for me but it took a long time to get heere.

    And yes, I think you've got to stop masturbating, fantasizing... just create a distance between you and this. This shit falls away on its own if you give it a chance
     
  11. Somedude718

    Somedude718 New Member

    I would def quick the porn and the masturbation. Right now your brain is getting way too many endorphins from the porn, that's why you can only get hard from femdom situations. You've rewired your brain into thinking it'll get the maximum amount of pleasure from femdom.

    It's gonna be tough. Most people that I know (including myself) usually only make it 20 days without any PMO before they have a relapse. But yea dude. Give up the porn, give up the masturbation. Once you go long enough you'll start to notice the actual women in your life. You'll start to notice how attractive they are and you'll pick up on lottle things that they do get are attractive to you. You're still young man, you've got time.
     
  12. niskanen91

    niskanen91 Member

    Agree with what Somedude718 and jjveetec have written, quitting femdom porn (and femdom stories etc.) is a must. I'd also quit masturbation because, we, people who struggle with femdom, tend to fantasize about completely unrealistic femdom scenarios (or realistic but harmful) when masturbating. One thing that I find quite interesting is that you refer to "femdom fetish", not "femdom porn". In my case, I'm not hoping to lose a fetish but to get rid of porn induced erectile dysfunction (which is a result of watching femdom porn). I believe that before the reboot I wouldn't even get hard to "dream-come-true" femdom scenario in real life with super hot dominatrix.

    It's also interesting that you encouraged your gf to be unfaithful (perfect example how harmful this fetish is), for me when I had feelings for a girl, I'd be totally angry when there was competition around (mixed with my complete PIED it was lose-lose situation for both me and her). My opinion is that while certain activities are quite OK to introduce in real life, several femdom-related fetishes can be absolutely harmful for you and your relationship, e. g. cuckolding, financial domination (can cause bankrupcy), strap-on (I think it'd make her lose the respect for you).

    By the way, this may be helpful for "submissive" folks here - I started lifting 5 months ago and it helped me big time, it causes following things:

    1) Lifting is masculine hobby so you feel... more manly. (helps with girls)
    2) Lifting makes your body more attractive. Which is an obvious benefit but also it increases your confidence and willingness to get naked in front of the girl. Some time ago I'd be ashamed to do that (skinny-fat era) and now I think I am 1-1.5 years from a body that I'll be proud of.
    3) Two points above apply to all PIED sufferers but here's one thing that interacts specifically with femdom fetish. You can't be smart and stupid at the same time. You can't be tall and short etc. It's impossible. Same is true for strong and weak. If you get strong, the idea that woman would consider you "weak" and "submissive" gets absurd. Since I started lifting, my submissiveness is fading away.

    Gym is of course bonus, main thing is staying away from femdom porn.
     
  13. mugzy

    mugzy Love

    Hi guys, been quite a while forme since I first posted on here, probably won't post again, but just wanted to let you guys know where I am at. So first off, I am 28, have always been into Femdom since I can remember, only ever wanked to it in my life, and played a lot in real life .... Now I am engaged (getting married in December) and have a very happy sex life (without Femdom play).

    The urges aren't completely gone, and to be honest I do fantasise from time to time during sex.

    The trick I found was to:
    A) obviously not watch porn, and although some of us may have relapses from time to time, it's how you respond to those that counts.
    B) don't think about and worry about this, which included stopping using this forum and constantly worrying that I was somehow broken.
    C) not look at life constantly like everything is black and white.
    D) be happy,
    E) exercise (don't have to be like arny or usain bolt, but just keep fit)
    F) meditate (don't have to be like the Dalai Lama)
    G) most importantly find someone you trust enough to take things slowly and just gradually get into things (I never told her about my Femdom past as I thought it would just let the issue hang around in my mind).

    I hope this gives people hope, you don't need this site consistently reminding you of a how different you are to the "norm" whatever that is, you are all men remember that, don't go looking on the web for non-existent issues (I did that and it took me some to realise it) just live, love and remember you are men!

    Peace.
     
  14. I especially like point B but point C is very important for many I think too! The obsessive thinking and over analyzing every little thing can actually amplify problems beyond what they actually are. I've recently been dealing with some performance anxiety and it's basically because I was going into things worrying and thinking way too much about getting hard and staying hard. Soon as I snapped myself out of it (& implemented a couple other little things) I had immediate success getting back on track which is great for confidence. Point is I got back temporarily in the habit of looking at myself as broken and as such my body behaved that way, once I went the opposite way it corrected easily. Isn't to say I wont encounter things from time to time but nothing I can't handle.

    Hope everyone is kicking ass and making progress.
     
  15. jjveetec

    jjveetec Member

    @niskanen91
    No idea what your "real sexuality" is until you quit the porn, fantasy, edging, masturbating etc - give it a a few weeks and it will start to emerge.
     
  16. pieterarons15

    pieterarons15 Member

    Just a question why is femdom porn different then straight porn could you eleborate why is it harder?
     
  17. niskanen91

    niskanen91 Member

    Well, because you can have similiar sex to vanilla in real life and when it comes to femdom, real women don't behave like that (unless they are sadistic or get paid for it), therefore you're getting off to something that is completely unrealistic. Moreover, if a woman isn't sadistic, she'll be turned off by idea of her being dominant and you being submissive. Another thing is that women are biologically submissive and, in my experience, when a girl was attracted to me she was behaving in a submissive way towards me, it's complete opposite of what is shown in femdom porn. Anectodal evidence from this forum also proves that guys who were into femdom porn had much harder time recovering and recovery took longer.
     
  18. pieterarons15

    pieterarons15 Member

    Ok i get it. But there are a lot of dominant woman out there who sometimes have a relationship with a nice guy (to nice) and really dominates them. So its not that uncommen then you thinx. psyical abuse against man exist.

    i've seen woman punching a man at a party with their fist and the guy just takes it. and i learned from her friend that there sex life was pretty fucked up(femdom) so its happens
     
  19. LostCauze

    LostCauze New Member

    Hey guys. I'm also in, although I'm still managing to read through this huge thread.

    - 27 years old
    - femdom PMO since age 14 approximately (can't remember exactly)
    - exclusively femdom, not a huge escalation over the years
    - pretty sure that femdom fantasies existed partly before porn
    - absolutely no interest in vanilla (at the moment hopefully), but in a relationship with a woman
    - no friends / no hobbies --> no distraction
    - also wrote sth. about me in this thread http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/forum/threads/femdom-what-if-its-who-i-really-am.33236/page-2
    - currently on day 10 without PMO, first week was pretty cool without strong urges and a feeling that I could change, the last 2 days very strong urges and a "fuck it, you'll never manage to get rid of that"-feeling

    Let's beat this shit guys!
     

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