Hi everyone, Thanks for taking the time to look, feeling very down at the moment, thought i'd send a post.. Long story short hopefully, just under a month ago I came here to tackle obsessive fetish porn material thoughts & indeed the reboot programme, success stories & replies from other posters gave me a great sense of hope. Therefore the first part of my post has been covered a little before & apologies for repeating somewhat. ( I masturbated exessivley, daily to fetish material & have done since the age of 11/12, jumping straight into this material from childhood, bypassing vanilla sexual thoughts.) Of course this presented problems when meeting women as these thoughts meant I couldn't get turned on at the idea of sex or getting intimate with the opposite sex - my hope therefore was by abstaining for 90 days, I would discover for the first time in my life some real desire for more regular vanilla thoughts & obtain natural erections at the thought of getting close. Not only do I need to steer away from online material, but also shun thoughts that enter my head - daily! Remember this isn't a case of me trying to RE-discover vanilla sex, having lost it to online porn - I hit the ground running with 'my stuff'. Do you think this is possible? I've read mixed reports, some who say fetish will always be there in the background & to just encorparate this, others who believe in 100% abstaining will increase sex drive. I actually consulted a therapist online who was of the opinion i'm not 'asexual' due to having form of fantasises & I have no desire for the same sex .. for the record it's just that my fantasises are not based on intimacy or attraction - they're on female / female humiliation, dominance, catfighting & the like - which i'm really ashamed of. ) 2 - Physical damage to ED Whilstever I did the above up until a month ago I masturbated face down on soft flaccid in a prone position. On reflection, this was due to an inability to obtain and maintain an erection suitable enough to masturbate the normal way, I just associated my thoughts to prone masturbating - wheather this was associated porn induced ED or a physical problem from the start I don't know. Anyway, 2/3 years back I got myself checked out at a urologist where overnight tests were ran etc. These came back as showing a Veneous Leak to the penis - an outflow of blood Again, whether this was due to excessive masturbation or has always been there, who knows. At the time I actually was prescribed oral meds & therapy - the latter advocating prone masturbation would you believe, so I actually made no real progress. So, i'm in a position now where I desperately want to get back on the mend & love reading reboot reports however seemingly can't due to physical ED i.e. in theory I could do 6 months abstain & still no improvement. I am confused as to the ratio between porn induced ED versues veneous leak in my case - - I don't know if anyone has any expierience on this matter but for the record, – Either through taking max strength oral meds or manually stimulating the penis from off, I now masturbate daily conventionally ( either on hard flaccid or say 80% with oral meds ) I can do this for a continued time of say 20-30mins. – However, I have to lie down or sit up to do this & have to continue with constant manual rubbing stimulation with the hand– standing up, letting the hand go or changing positions means my penis 'dies' within 5 seconds even with oral meds such as cialis & viagra - i'm on the max strength too. This makes thoughts of prone so appealing but I won't! - I rarely, if ever obtain natural spontaneous erections & no morning wood, maybe due to the amount I masturbate / maybe due to the physical cause. - I'm 25 & diabetic for over 10 years which is well controlled. My consultant see's no reason that nerve damage is the cause & testorone is above avg. – Unfortunately aside from oral medication, the only other treatments available scare the hell out of me - as they would do many. My previous partner recently ended a relationship due to my fetish stuff & ED & I must admit my confidence has gone entirley, I fear I won't be able to move on as well as the next guy - instead it appears i'll have to find that understanding one whereas all I want to do now is ' get out there ' & experiment having completed the reboot. – Not least as other treatments are invasive, thus meaning difficult to breach the subject with girls, my confidence is shot to pieces due to the mental fetish thoughts & ED venous leak issue. I really hate sounding so negative, I just feel sick with despair at the thought of penis rings, vacuum pumps & penis injections – I strive for recovery as opposed to a stop gap get by. – I've read up that surgical implants are the only suitable 'cure' – I really can't stomach the thought of having something so artificial & the thought of having to succumb to something unnatural. It seems to me all the treatments are nearly as bad as the actual condition, thus I feel trapped with nowhere to go or light at the end of the tunnel. – A penis ring has been suggested to help 'maintain' the erection – unfortunately apart from the embarrassment, i can't say it works entirley, this causes pain, loss of feeling & extreme difficulty in achieving satisfactory O. You'll see there is resistance to treatment - that's not negativity on my part, it's just an overwhelming desire to get to a stage of being where I want to be - i constantly research online for success recovery stories in the hope i can too - infact that's all I'm doing day in, day out - i'm mentally strong however all of the above seems an overwhelming challenge. I've booked into see the doc again soon however this is a wait as expected – I guess I'm praying for a different diagnosis or a miracle answer – right now my life seems to be a nightmare – i'm just a regular guy who want's help - just when I got over prone, i've now shifted the 'battle' towards this – I appreciate these issues aren't strictly on topic & really all you can offer is too consult the professionals & accept treatment - if anyone does have any suggestions or links.. I just only wish there was a forum & reboot programme for my issue for recovery. – HELP! :'( Thank you so much for reading & any input would be hugely appreciated.