Physical leak damage ED & fetishes prevents a reboot

Discussion in 'Erectile Dysfunction / Delayed Ejaculation' started by geor24, Aug 23, 2013.

  1. geor24

    geor24 New Member

    Hi everyone,

    Thanks for taking the time to look, feeling very down at the moment, thought i'd send a post..

    Long story short hopefully, just under a month ago I came here to tackle obsessive fetish porn material thoughts & indeed the reboot programme, success stories & replies from other posters gave me a great sense of hope. Therefore the first part of my post has been covered a little before & apologies for repeating somewhat.

    ( I masturbated exessivley, daily to fetish material & have done since the age of 11/12, jumping straight into this material from childhood, bypassing vanilla sexual thoughts.) Of course this presented problems when meeting women as these thoughts meant I couldn't get turned on at the idea of sex or getting intimate with the opposite sex - my hope therefore was by abstaining for 90 days, I would discover for the first time in my life some real desire for more regular vanilla thoughts & obtain natural erections at the thought of getting close. Not only do I need to steer away from online material, but also shun thoughts that enter my head - daily! Remember this isn't a case of me trying to RE-discover vanilla sex, having lost it to online porn - I hit the ground running with 'my stuff'. Do you think this is possible? I've read mixed reports, some who say fetish will always be there in the background & to just encorparate this, others who believe in 100% abstaining will increase sex drive.
    I actually consulted a therapist online who was of the opinion i'm not 'asexual' due to having form of fantasises & I have no desire for the same sex .. for the record it's just that my fantasises are not based on intimacy or attraction - they're on female / female humiliation, dominance, catfighting & the like - which i'm really ashamed of. :mad: )

    2 - Physical damage to ED

    Whilstever I did the above up until a month ago I masturbated face down on soft flaccid in a prone position. On reflection, this was due to an inability to obtain and maintain an erection suitable enough to masturbate the normal way, I just associated my thoughts to prone masturbating - wheather this was associated porn induced ED or a physical problem from the start I don't know. Anyway, 2/3 years back I got myself checked out at a urologist where overnight tests were ran etc. These came back as showing a Veneous Leak to the penis - an outflow of blood :(
    Again, whether this was due to excessive masturbation or has always been there, who knows. At the time I actually was prescribed oral meds & therapy - the latter advocating prone masturbation would you believe, so I actually made no real progress.

    So, i'm in a position now where I desperately want to get back on the mend & love reading reboot reports however seemingly can't due to physical ED i.e. in theory I could do 6 months abstain & still no improvement. I am confused as to the ratio between porn induced ED versues veneous leak in my case - - I don't know if anyone has any expierience on this matter but for the record,

    – Either through taking max strength oral meds or manually stimulating the penis from off, I now masturbate daily conventionally ( either on hard flaccid or say 80% with oral meds ) I can do this for a continued time of say 20-30mins.
    – However, I have to lie down or sit up to do this & have to continue with constant manual rubbing stimulation with the hand– standing up, letting the hand go or changing positions means my penis 'dies' within 5 seconds even with oral meds such as cialis & viagra - i'm on the max strength too. This makes thoughts of prone so appealing but I won't!
    - I rarely, if ever obtain natural spontaneous erections & no morning wood, maybe due to the amount I masturbate / maybe due to the physical cause.
    - I'm 25 & diabetic for over 10 years which is well controlled. My consultant see's no reason that nerve damage is the cause & testorone is above avg.
    – Unfortunately aside from oral medication, the only other treatments available scare the hell out of me - as they would do many. My previous partner recently ended a relationship due to my fetish stuff & ED & I must admit my confidence has gone entirley, I fear I won't be able to move on as well as the next guy - instead it appears i'll have to find that understanding one whereas all I want to do now is ' get out there ' & experiment having completed the reboot.
    – Not least as other treatments are invasive, thus meaning difficult to breach the subject with girls, my confidence is shot to pieces due to the mental fetish thoughts & ED venous leak issue. I really hate sounding so negative, I just feel sick with despair at the thought of penis rings, vacuum pumps & penis injections – I strive for recovery as opposed to a stop gap get by.
    – I've read up that surgical implants are the only suitable 'cure' – I really can't stomach the thought of having something so artificial & the thought of having to succumb to something unnatural. It seems to me all the treatments are nearly as bad as the actual condition, thus I feel trapped with nowhere to go or light at the end of the tunnel.
    – A penis ring has been suggested to help 'maintain' the erection – unfortunately apart from the embarrassment, i can't say it works entirley, this causes pain, loss of feeling & extreme difficulty in achieving satisfactory O.

    You'll see there is resistance to treatment - that's not negativity on my part, it's just an overwhelming desire to get to a stage of being where I want to be - i constantly research online for success recovery stories in the hope i can too - infact that's all I'm doing day in, day out - i'm mentally strong however all of the above seems an overwhelming challenge.

    I've booked into see the doc again soon however this is a wait as expected – I guess I'm praying for a different diagnosis or a miracle answer – right now my life seems to be a nightmare – i'm just a regular guy who want's help - just when I got over prone, i've now shifted the 'battle' towards this – I appreciate these issues aren't strictly on topic & really all you can offer is too consult the professionals & accept treatment - if anyone does have any suggestions or links.. I just only wish there was a forum & reboot programme for my issue for recovery.
    – HELP! :'(

    Thank you so much for reading & any input would be hugely appreciated.
  2. Bazooka Joe

    Bazooka Joe New Member

    Stop porn and masturbation for good and eventually you will heal.
    I'd guess you will need a long time like myself, 6 months minimum.

    It's probably not physical damage you experience btw, I couldn't get erect too for a long time.
    Your body is probably completely capable of getting and maintaining an erection.

    Go to a doc to cancel out other reasons for your ED and do the reboot.
  3. geor24

    geor24 New Member

    Hi, thanks for the reply Joe.
    I will do & take your advice by abstaining & see where it gets me.

    When you say heal, do you believe 10 + years of masturbating to non sexual fetish material has meant I never actually developed 'normal sexual desire' from childhood ( never allowing myself to masturbate to real people to the point where if I do try and fantasise about regular stuff now I feel nothing & have to revert immediatley )

    Does healing or abstaining mean perhaps i'll discover genuine sexual attraction & desire to people & intimacy for the first time ever with time .... OR does there come a point where I have to accept the term 'asexual' all be it with strong desires for fetish content...I hope not the latter. :(

    This point is causing me alot of confusion as to whether abstaining will work & question where I am now & where I'm going moving forwards. Perhaps this may solve ED as you say.

    Thanks to anyone who can have an input here!
  4. BaldrRising

    BaldrRising Member

    You mentioned your were a prone masturbator. You probably should go to this site.

    We all have some fucked up thing that played to our addiction. Removing it from your life will be a good start. It'll still lurk in your memory considering that you had this fetish since you were 11. But if you want a normal life then you'll have to stop this bullshit fetish you have.

    Talk to your doctor about all your options and get a second opinion if you have to.
  5. 8zgpc

    8zgpc New Member

    Quit watching porn immediately and reboot!

    "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

    The fetish porn has obviously been damaging to your life so get it out. The brain can heal itself if you remove the source of the damage so don't hesitate to take it out. It might take some time because the problem goes far back for you but it's not hopeless.
  6. geor24

    geor24 New Member

    Thanks for your replies guys,

    I guess the remaining question before abstaining is, in your opinion from what i've described which came first;

    1)Could it be that i'm 'asexual' orientation from puberty & grew into situational non sexual fetish tendinces ( all be it they provide me with sexual relief ) but i'll call them 'non sexual' given they're not related to sexual attraction
    2)Have these non sexual fetish tendinces led to me having a lack of interest in sex - in which case abstaining perhaps may be more successful in developing an interest in vanilla material.

    Thanks again finally, it's much appreicated.
  7. BaldrRising

    BaldrRising Member

    I'm not a professional doctor or therapist so you might want to consult someone who is during your reboot. They might be better at answering your questions.

    If you are asexual, I would assume nothing would provide you sexual relief. But apparently you have a source to relieve you sexually.

    Did something happen at a young age that scared you from understanding sex in general?

    Quit the porn. Let your brain rewire. After 3 or 6 months, see how well you find women attractive. And don't do this without professional help.
  8. geor24

    geor24 New Member

    Baldrrising, thanks for getting back to me

    I acquired a strong kick towards my thing early childhood & didn't think anything of it. This developed & developed as years passed, every day until I reached a point where I realised that it wasn't normal or compatible when trying to date girls for vanilla sex late teens. At this time I became aware of ED occuring, with obvious performance anxiety boardaring on anxiety phobia when getting down to it, as I knew I was faking it, I knew I was aroused by my thing & not the vanilla sex. In addition my erections were non exisitent or failed quickly.
    I became confused & so got myself checked out ( I knew by this time it was a physical & psychological problem ) Physically that's when they saw the venous leak of outflow of blood.

    So right now, mentally, the anxiety remains in addition to a lack of desire or arousal towards the normal stuff +it may be there's a physical cause of ED on top with no discreet treatment. That's why I feel so pissed right now i guess.

    I've nothing else to loose other than to abstain for 6 months like you say & see where that gets me before then tackling this 'leak' aspect of physical ED once more - never mind.

    Thanks again for your time.
  9. hogus

    hogus New Member

    Prone M is extreme conditioning. It will amplify the effect that watching any specific kind of porn has. Not only do you get used to the pressure physically but you force a higher pleasure and therefore dopamine response.

    If prone + PMO is your problem I would not masturbate for a long time. You learn to do it the normal way pretty quickly on the reboot but you've done more "damage" than just not being able to masturbate normally - e.g. when you stop physical stimulation it goes down all the way even if you're watching something really stimulating which is a sign of deeper conditioning.


    If your venous leak still causes you problems after you reboot, then you can consider cialis/viagra, implant etc.
  10. geor24

    geor24 New Member

    Thank you very much Hogus,
    interesting thought i'll take up on that. :)

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