NoFap Rewiring In A Relationship?

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by nick123, Aug 5, 2018.

  1. nick123

    nick123 New Member

    Going to be as brief as possible with this starting with a quick background.

    23 years old, parents were very secretive of sex. It was made such a big deal and I had minimal sexual experience and gave it a negative stigma. I masturbated since 15 and have been clenching my pelvic floor unconsciously to accelerate the process. I have also sucked in my gut due to being obese in order to make myself look skinnier. I have had hard flaccid since beginning to masturbate. Recently I got super in shape and started my quest to begin a sexual life this year. I haven't been the best at no PMO but the past year has been great, including multiple 20+ day streaks, full 90 days, and as of now a 30 day streak.

    I noticed I had problems with erections and I credit it to performance anxiety (hell this could be all I have for all I know!) After a few attempts at handjobs, blowjobs, and full on sex (with a handful of different women), I decided to get a viagra prescription once I couldn't get it up with a girl I really liked (current girlfriend). It took a few tries, even on 100mg at a point one night and I still couldn't get it up! After maybe 2-3 encounters I was able to have sex and it wasn't crazy, but my girlfriend made it very clear how pleasurable it was to her. She has no idea I was a virgin prior and it will stay like that permanently. For the rest of the month before summer break started, we had sex maybe 5 more times before leaving school, and I would take 25mg of viagra each time without an issue apart from severe delayed ejaculation; I still have not orgasmed with her or another human being yet.

    Now do note that I attempted sex 2x without viagra since losing virginity, once with failure to penetrate, the other with 80% erection for 30 mins but still delayed ejaculation with no orgasm. Other times we had sex fine after the viagra was mostly out of my body, with maybe 5mg total after a bunch of half lives compared to the 25mg I would take earlier in the day or the evening prior. I notice after sex my pelvic floor is VERY sore and realized I have been unconsciously holding a strong kegel in for god knows how long, maybe 30 mins straight at a minimum.


    Now


    Now that summer break is here I have been stretching my pelvic floor and leg muscles, I am very tight down there! I have lost a lot of weight and feel great, and am on a 30 day pmo streak. I find more often than not my penis is not in hard flaccid state and is about 40-50% more fuller and softer than prior. I very rarely now as opposed to often in the past, have pain when I sneeze in my perineum area beneath my scrotum.

    I am in flatline with minimal libido. I cannot get an erection without porn but refuse to peek after edging once a few days ago. I had a wet dream a few days ago which I assume released quite a bit of tension from my prostate fluids building up. I feel that if I am with a girl I can get an erection easily but maybe not maintain it. Although with that being said, I am much better health now than when I was with my gf in May. I will be seeing her later this month when we are both back at school though. My main worry is having low libido when I am home though.

    Future
    How will the process of rewiring work with my girlfriend? My current theory is that my brain is convinced porn is real sex, as it was present far earlier than any real sexual experience. I really feel like I can get aroused with a real person though. Is my main issue right now waiting for my brain to mold back to normal and see the human body as sexual and not a computer screen? I plan on continuing to relax my pelvic floor muscles and stretch and strengthen my legs as well. I believe that having so much tension and stress during sex causes my body to delay ejaculation rather than prematurely ejaculate, just due to the sheer amount of tension.
     

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