no such thing as moderation in pornography!

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by NatureHeals, Jan 8, 2017.

  1. Mik2

    Mik2 Aka NwaltRed

    I don't know, I've never had to deal with Pied for reasons that are unclear. Unless I masturbated right before spending time with an actual woman or binged the night before. That seems to be more of a case of sexual depletion though. I have a theory that pied is 30% terrified virgin syndrome, 30% men sexually bored with their saggy wives, 30% excessive masturbation, and 10% actually porn related, just a theory though, whatever works best for you dude!
    Seeing as I've little interest in a ltr, the women I have been with are usually one night affairs. I did have some ed at first due to terrified virgin syndrome and excessive masturbation the night before, but it wasn't to difficult to relax and get a handle on that. Just take a day or 2 off before seeing a woman and the ol' woody wood pecker is rearing to go.

    Love the last bit though, to me it reads "Even the great and magnificent Gary Wilson himself came down from the majestic heavens to grace us with his presence and inform us of the ills of masturbation". I guess I've just seen so many people taking his word as gospel, he's taken on an almost heavenly aurora :D
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2017
  2. Imfree

    Imfree Member

    I experienced the opposite. My longest No PMO streak was 4 months and I was still having constant cravings. When there is no porn involved I don't see much point in masturbation and I almost have to force myself to do it.
  3. le_petit_moster

    le_petit_moster Active Member

  4. Mik2

    Mik2 Aka NwaltRed

    Last edited: Jan 11, 2017
  5. Mik2

    Mik2 Aka NwaltRed

    Use a condom, fleshlight or some cleenex dude, no reason to be jizzing on your computer screen :eek:
  6. le_petit_moster

    le_petit_moster Active Member

    Dear Mik2...
    I never said "Things you've already tried before settling on moderation. Try them again because I wrote a book!" !!! ???

    Dear Readers- in my experience- self and from others I realized after a great number of trial and errors that PMO controls you.. you can't control PMO. Even the substitutes of safeporn, youtube, porn-diet etc are actually a trick by the 'little monster' the brain withdrawal, in our minds. It is very cunning and intelligent as ...well you !!!.

    There are no casual PMOers. They are all at different stages of the slippery slope called PMO. You just arrived sooner to the bottom than them. They lack the drive - may be.
    We are talking about addiction here. If you had control... well, you won't be here.

    Anyways.. I wish you well MIk2. I wish your method works for you with all my heart. But I request that you consider a Pascal's wager with me. Try the Method. I bet you will (a) lose very little (illusory pleasure of PMO), gain big ( physical and mental ) and avoid losing big ( pied, pe, low or no energy and above all- slavery).

    I like eating carrots. I don't go around claiming I can control my carrot eating to 2 times a week. If PMO is controllable as people eating carrots....well you get the idea ?
  7. Mik2

    Mik2 Aka NwaltRed

    Just having some fun. In all seriousness though I've tried abstinence for quite awhile and was never able to gain a foothold. Perhaps I am just more addicted than others, but it's easier to move on with my life and minimize harm caused by addiction. Call it what you like, moderation, harm minimization, a functioning addict. Not saying it's a perfect solution but it is working decently for me so far, and it's honestly the only option I feel I have left. Glad you managed to abstain, but the argument that "you weren't really addicted if you can moderate" doesn't hold much weight with me, I could just as easily say "you aren't really addicted if you are able to abstain from porn" but I don't really have any concrete evidence to back that up.
    Seems to make more sense that we can be addicted, and make changes in our lives to no longer be a slave to addiction, some people can even manage complete abstinence with enough will power.
    Cheers dude, don't take my sarcasm personally :)
  8. le_petit_moster

    le_petit_moster Active Member

    Sarcasms are ok ..but it was a misquote, no ?
    Also - "" "you weren't really addicted if you can moderate" "" is not what I said.
    I meant that they are down the slippery slope of addiction - just that they don't go for it quite often or buried their head in the sand.
    Reminds me to quote from the book
    "The effect of the brainwashing is that we tend to think like the man who, having fallen off a 100- storey building, is heard to say, as he passes the fiftieth floor, 'So far, so good!' We think that as we have got away with it so far, one more PMO session won't make the difference. Try to see it another way, the 'habit' is a continuous chain for life, each session creating the need for the next. When you start the habit you light a fuse. The trouble is, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW LONG THE FUSE IS. Every time that you give up to a PMO session you are one step nearer to the bomb exploding. HOW WILL YOU KNOW IF IT'S THE NEXT ONE?"
    Anyways... we are both here to help others and be helped. So..I am not going to knit pick.
    I wish you well. Cheers.
  9. Mik2

    Mik2 Aka NwaltRed

    Sounds pretty dire :confused: What is your idea of "the bomb going off"?
  10. doneatlast

    doneatlast Member

    This is the thesis wherein we just don't have the data to prove or disprove. We know that not 100% of people who have alcohol become alcoholics... but, what percentage? Also, is porn detrimental to all users? I would venture to say it is to most, but I just don't have numbers... nor do the folks who disagree with me. It is a stalemate. I also don't know if those of us who consider ourselves addicted would have had separate fates if we were aware that addiction was even possible before it was too late. At least with alcohol, most people are aware of drunkenness and alcoholism before the go in, even if they are largely naive and unrealistic about it, they at least realize it is a thing.

    Another point about moderation is that we need to be careful calling it a "natural" thing. It isn't natural. Sex is natural. Porn is artificial. So, our hunger for sex is natural, and our satisfying of that hunger in responsible, moderate ways is natural. Porn is a substitute. Whether that is acceptable or not to you is another question, but we shouldn't confuse the two. Personally, if sex is food, then porn is like junk food that has no nutritional value... but even that is a bad analogy. At least junk food has calories which are a nutrient (even if they are overabundant in most 1st world diets). It may be more like watching videos of food and sucking your thumb pretending it is a steak. Imagine the eating disorders people would have if that were a real thing!
  11. lookingahead

    lookingahead To restore my inmost being. Staff Member

    An addict can never return to his addiction in moderation. Never. Every addiction clinician and recovered addict has know this for centuries. Anyone who still thinks they can return to the problematic behavior/substance has a long, long way to go in their journey of recovery.
  12. Mik2

    Mik2 Aka NwaltRed

    There you have it folks, no need for discussion, this guy already knows everything :rolleyes:
  13. le_petit_moster

    le_petit_moster Active Member

    If one had success with moderation then one won't be coming here. No one says I can control my consumption of carrot. If PMO is good for once a week why not once a day, why not twice a day ?

    I just want to go on record by saying there is NO control in PMO.
    Quitting is the only Method that has stood out in my experience. I have tried it personally. I have seen others trying it as well. Luckily it was not too late for me to figure that there is ABSOLUTELY no control.. of course an illusion of control ? yes. there is plenty. The Little Monster is good at tricking us that.
    That is the Method I use for myself and that is the one I advise to any one who wants to quit.
  14. Mik2

    Mik2 Aka NwaltRed

    For me it's pretty simple. Twice a day is where I lose control, so I try not to do it anymore.
    I'm still here because I binged 2 days ago, so I obviously haven't worked out all the kinks yet and fully recovered from addiction. I am making good progress though, and learning how to better moderate every day :)

    Again why say things with no proof that are easily proven wrong, do you have some sort of fetish for being wrong? I can whip you with those juicy facts all day long sweety, but it'll cost you ;) Lots of people enjoy porn without engaging in addictive behavior.
  15. le_petit_moster

    le_petit_moster Active Member

    Dear Mik2.
    You are a very intelligent person. I wish you well in your journey.
  16. le_petit_moster

    le_petit_moster Active Member

    1. Torrents offering one vid/genre at a time. Paid porn sites with (self) limits : I am not sure. Why the tension. Why the anxiety ? If it is for educational purposes then one or two time viewing is all I can think of. After which you are looking for porn star 'variety' or 'novelty' no ? I am not sure - what is the reason one would continue watching a genre after say a dozen times ? I don't know.

    2.I had tried 'moderation' 'control' 'safe porn' 'static porn'.... it only compounded the dopamine the anxiety that we feel when on moderation. Dr Albert Ellis in his famous book on quitting alcohol says just that. The illusion of control. If you take the organizations that worked on alcohol deaddiction...the ones that used 'moderation' / 'safe level' methods never found success. Satiation is reached far sooner than our rational minds can measure. Why suffer unnecessarily. If you can say 'no' once a week you can say 'no' once for life and get over it. NO ?

    3. There is not way an addict can avoid "novelty'... it is like walking on a tight rope. You never know until you finish the vid. Once you see it is done. We are talking about minds here.

    Jack Trimpey's ( a trained therapist of Dr. Albert Ellis on CBT/REBT) site on de-addiction says an important point.

    " Accept no one's advice to continue drinking in a "controlled" or "moderate" fashion. Beware of professional counselors who say that they can help you to enjoy moderate drinking; being well-educated does not guarantee their personal integrity or common sense. "
    .." We recommend lifetime abstinence from alcohol and other drugs for anyone experiencing problems related to drinking or using. Planned abstinence is quick, easy, cost-free, and risk-free, and it feels good immediately and in the long run. If you are having problems caused by drinking, quit once, for life! Rational Recovery shows you exactly how. If you are currently abstinent with good reason, do not be deceived by professionals who suggest that you may one day drink without ill effects. Once you have repeatedly crossed the threshold of deep pleasure into drunkenness, there is a strong likelihood that you will re-addict yourself with amazing efficiency."
    ..."Indeed, the founder of Moderation Management, Audrey Kishline, fancied herself to be a problem drinker who might imbibe occasionally, if she followed the advice of psychologists. She is now in prison for killing a man and his teenage daughter in a drunk driving crash. This tragedy symbolizes the folly of moderation for problem drinkers, but professional counselors nevertheless continue to invite problem drinkers to drink moderately based on self-assessment and self-discipline."

    Just switch drinking and alcohol to PMO ( IPMO ? the internet PMO ?) Thank you.
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2017
  17. Mik2

    Mik2 Aka NwaltRed

    Aww, no fair, you didn't take the bait... :(
    Jk, I wish you well as well :)
  18. Mik2

    Mik2 Aka NwaltRed

    Asking you for evidence is not the same thing as disagreeing with you ;) For all I know porn could be harmful to everyone, which is why I am not "pro porn", I am "neutral porn".
  19. BruceWayne

    BruceWayne Building the life I want, day by day...

    You don't need evidence to show porn in moderation is not okay or not healthy. You just need simple reasoning and logic.

    Also most people who seem fine using porn in moderation are not. It's still having an impact on them in one way or another. It just might not be something that is readily apparent to them or they might not have enough self-awareness to know something is wrong.

    Part of the problem is that people have been brainwashed by society to the point that any changes in ones thinking regarding porn, sexuality, women/men is normal. Its tough especially for millennial aged men because all of our friends have been going down the porn spiral for years and we think that's just how life is.

    If you try to use porn in moderation or allow yourself to do that all that you're going to be thinking about in between sessions is the next session. I mean why prolong this in the first place. You're only hurting yourself.

    Also the odds of you going through life and being fine are against you. Porns going to be everywhere eventually and it's going to be even more stimulating than it is now. One could argue that porn is everywhere already. I can even turn on my tv and go to channels that are brazzers, reality kings, playboy, penthouse and bang bros owned and operated and buy a pay per view movie. It's already seeped into our everyday lives. And there's now VR porn which is probably a whole other can of worms that I never even want to attempt to open. Plus sex dolls, sex simulators, etc. There's going to be stuf that even the most strong-willed person is going to have a tough time resisting.

    This is why, the time to stop completely is now. Everything's going to be against you more and more as time goes on.

    I really hope we stop seeing people talk like this. If you're going to use porn in moderation and or attempt to and talk about it then keep it to your journal and out of this section. This section is about quitting porn for good.
    le_petit_moster likes this.

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