no such thing as moderation in pornography!

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by NatureHeals, Jan 8, 2017.

  1. NatureHeals

    NatureHeals Active Member

    will you accept the statement

    smoking is okay in moderation?

    most might say no.

    why not? is it because it can cause cancer, even maybe once a day, or lets say twice weekly? cause physcial harm

    let me ask you another question
    pornogrpahy is okay in moderation?

    it does no phycial harm right? your not hurting anyway right?
    I would argue pornogrpahy is causing psychological and other non physcial harm. It alters your brain, changes you. This is a fact. I would also argue that by watching pron we are fuelling the industry that causes harm to women and children and maybe even men.

    Is pornography a past time / hobbie? or is it a "poison" like cigarettes. I want to know what you think.
    We still take poison even though we know it is "killing" us. but atleast we know that it is.
    Is pornography killing who we really are? and in a sense killing us?
  2. sm24153

    sm24153 Member

    I was never much into hard porn. Mostly just softcore pictures. But I've moved from doing it everyday to now in moderation. I think it's all about changing our relationship with it. I no longer use it as a distraction, but rather as a release. I'm fine with or without it and use it simply for a release of sexual energy. Hopefully a girl will come along soon so I can completely eliminate it.

    I also have a history or drug addiction, and have also used this idea with that. I can now smoke some herb and then put it down because I have changed my relationship with it. It will no longer lead to harder drugs or control my life.
  3. pieterarons15

    pieterarons15 Member

    If you are a alcholic its usually useful to avoid any alcohol because it can cause you to relapse and drink a lot.
    One little bear can cause you to drink a whole bottle of vodka
    yes alcohol isn't bad as long as you don't drink to much of it and overdo it.

    Same goes with porn.

    The problem is that most man can't stop doing it. However you can't blame tham its our natural instinct (dopamine and brain) that makes us wanting more and more.

    So the big question is do you know yourself do you know youre boundries? Yes? Then if you know you can binge watch porn a lot and get addicted soon you should avoid it.
  4. sm24153

    sm24153 Member

    Like I said, change your relationship with it and you will no longer have to worry about losing control.

    Recognize why you were using it when your usage got out of hand and fix that problem. At that point, porn will no longer have the pull over you that it once did.
  5. Tseldo

    Tseldo Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Short answer: porn in moderation is like any drug in moderation. It's not too bad (except for addicts), but it won't bring anything good either.

    That's true but at the same time, if your life is fulfilling (and not just "exciting", as in a permanent dopamine rush The-Wolf-of-Wall-Street-style), porn isn't a valuable addition.

    When I think of the most peaceful, happy people I've met and talked to, I seriously doubt they secretly watch porn - on the other hand, I'd guess they are sexually quite open.
  6. NatureHeals

    NatureHeals Active Member

    okay how about this

    Is it okay to watch pornography if your in a relationship

    what Im getting at is that what are the benefits of pornography, you might say release of sexual tension, but then your just "self medicating". how will you put the energy in of finding a real partner if you let go of that energy and viewing pornography affects you negatively so you aren't at your best.

    unlike drinking where you can enjoy it in a social scene, pornogrpahy is dirty and ugly and alot worse imo
  7. sm24153

    sm24153 Member

    It sounds like you have formed your own opinions, which is a good thing I might add, so I would just stick to your gut. The more questions you ask and opinions your receive, the more you will start to question your own beliefs.
  8. pieterarons15

    pieterarons15 Member

    When i stopped watching porn i didn't had the urge to watch it even once a month it was just out of my system . Masturbation on the other hand...
  9. NatureHeals

    NatureHeals Active Member

    how long was you watching pornography and how long did you stop for?
    I remember my best streak was 3.5 years and I can say that only after 3 years it was completly out of my system
  10. Christian Soldier

    Christian Soldier Onward, Christian Soldier, marching as to war

    The problem here is that porn is an addictive substance like cocaine or heroin. Maybe if you have particularly superior willpower, this will work for you, but release can quickly become reliance. I can't see how any man can have a healthy relationship with a pixelated fantasy.
    NatureHeals likes this.
  11. DemBrainsTho

    DemBrainsTho Member

    I've noticed recently there are certain members who adopt a lukewarm approach to this. Just as your mentioning. Saying moderate amounts porn are OK or that PMOing occasionally isn't bad for you.

    Occasional PMO may not be bad for YOU, but there are others here who are having a very very hard time even making it past 5 or 10 days.

    This is a porn addiction site, and if you are going to post here, then any talk PMO AT ALL is counterproductive.
  12. NatureHeals

    NatureHeals Active Member

    DemBrainsTho who was that aimed at? im the op and feel the same as you
  13. DemBrainsTho

    DemBrainsTho Member

    Sorry.. read that back and it sounds like I'm lecturing you lol. I was trying to direct it toward anyone who thinks that the lukewarm mentality is ok.

    No I'm 100% same outlook as you. I just feel like this needs to be a sanctuary where people can go to help gather strength to beat this addiction. I've been very weak before and been searching out any justification.. any article or post that says anything good about PMO.. and would read that material and justify it to myself that PMO is ok to do.

    That has led me to long binges and ruined my longterm progress. I just sorta feel like if we are going to be active members here, we need to all be very strict on policing ourselves and creating a good environment that helps people beat this.
  14. spoofy

    spoofy Active Member

    Nah porn in moderation is fine, and so are cigarettes, booze and drugs.
    I'd even argue it's healthy, because visual sexuality was a part of per-agricultural hunter gatherers life.

    But the real question what is moderated porn?
    I can tell you 99.99% of porn (and distribution channels) are toxic and highly addictive.
    Porn tubes are built to draw you into a binge and get you addicted, they are pure cyanide.
  15. Mik2

    Mik2 Aka NwaltRed

    Pornography might have the power to change us, though nothing is entirely proven as of yet. I certainly feel different when watching porn excessively, though it's really more of a mood/chemical thing, and who's to say it is a change for the worst for any given individual?

    Lol, "it might even be harming men"...of course because women are special little snowflakes that need your manly white knight protection at all times but men are responsible adults who make decisions for themselves. Sigh...vagina is one hell of a drug, pursuit of female praise/feminist ideals warps the mind far more than porn in my opinion.
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2017
  16. Mik2

    Mik2 Aka NwaltRed

    I had a very very hard time achieving moderation, and if you believe abstinence is the best route for you, then I support you 100%, and you won't hear any differently from anyone else assuming Newguy has it figured out by now.
    We aren't demanding you try moderation, we are simply sharing insights into how we have achieved moderation (after serious porn addiction/binging). You certainly aren't obligated to heed any advice.
  17. DemBrainsTho

    DemBrainsTho Member

    Just read your thread about Moderation. Srry can you clear up your stance currently? You are going for 100 percent abstinence now? Or what's your technique?
  18. Mik2

    Mik2 Aka NwaltRed

    Currently I'm going for moderation, mo once a day with or without porn. I found it very helpful to limit mo to once per day, the binges are what really set me back, and once I've done it once I have little control over what I end up watching in a binge.
    Perhaps I will work it down to once every other day in the near future.

    Alcohol was severely affecting my good judgement, and excessive caffeine was amplifying porn cravings. I cut alcohol down to an occasional small 200ml bottle on weekends and replaced alcohol with chamomile tea, which still allows me to relax at night without affecting my judgement. I also cut caffeine down to basically nothing, save for the occasional cup of quick steeped earl grey tea when I really need the focused energy for hours. Before that I was the type to binge on energy drinks even late at night.

    I made a few lifestyle changes as well. I took up swimming and got back into playing drums/guitar, I was also able to rekindle an interest in videogames. Not only was excessive caffeine, and alcohol amplifying the porn cravings, it also took away my interest and concentration for anything other than porn, and porn/excessive mo further added to that disinterest. It was a tough cycle to break, but caffeine reduction was the first peace of the puzzle.

    I'm also trying my best to stay away from free porn tube sites like pornhub. They are incredibly dangerous to someone susceptible to addiction, having all of those endless categories right in front of my face and pornhub's suggestion engine recommending more and more extreme videos/genres to escalate too. I decided that if I was going to be watching porn I should support companies that are putting in an effort to make the porn industry better. So I bought a subscription to Girls Out West and a few other like sites, GOW is unique in that it is run by women and filmed by women, with performer rights as the number one priority.

    I didn't start this journey due to a limp dick or because I wanted to get out and have sex with real women, I didn't get porn under control to please a nagging wife. I was watching some rather extreme categories as well as feeding a dangerous sex addiction, there was potentially a lot more at stake than a limp dick. In fact I wish I did have pied because then I wouldn't have risked various stds, or worse. Once the porn addiction was under control the sex addiction followed suit. It was all a combination of lifestyle changes and fully realizing the dangerous situation I had put myself in, otherwise known as hitting rock bottom.
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2017
  19. DemBrainsTho

    DemBrainsTho Member

    That does make sense I think. I mean for ME that wouldn't be good but I suppose for someone with extremely compulsive behavior.. allowing MO once a day is far less harmful than edging without O for hours a day, multiple times a week or something.

    Probably good to have someone play devil's advocate on here. My extreme abstain method might be a bit over the top. I just really want to heal as fast as possible though.
  20. NoDestination

    NoDestination Active Member

    At PMO: Do you want to tell your brain it is good to inseminate the screen? Do you think this mental conditioning is fine in moderation? I just jizzed on some pussy on the screen! Good thinking in moderation?

    At watching P: Do you think it is fine to tell your brain that sex/fetish stuff is something that happens on the screen? Do you think this mental conditioning is healthy in moderation? All my bitches come from the screen! Good thinking in moderation?

    You are right the damage is psychological. It changes our perception of sexuality.

    At MO: Even Gary Wilson said in one podcast. I am paraphrasing.If you occasionally MO (without P) it is "not a big deal". Also remember Gabe on a podcast. He said that his classmates who MO'ed (without P) didn't had any PIED/ED/PE problems but people who PMO'ed had. Occasional MO is for me 2-3 per month.

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