no arousal method , to o or not to o

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by Anewlife, Mar 13, 2017.

  1. Anewlife

    Anewlife Member

    Hell o All,

    I am trying the no arousal route to completely heal...

    have a girlfriend who wants regular sex 3 times a week at least..

    i know that after an O i feel like hell and really depressed,

    what should i do to completely heal? abstain from all sexual activity? abstain from o's? continue having sex while practising no arousal in my day to day life?

    breaking up and taking a break from sex all together for 3 months???

    any tips are welcome
     
  2. Tseldo

    Tseldo Active Member

    NoA is not about abstaining from sexual activity, but "pre-sexual" activities that won't lead anywhere (oogling, watching porn, fantasising, MOing, etc).

    Any sexual and interactive activity with a real partner is okay under the NoA principles.

    But some rebooters have found that too many O's during recovery slowed down the process. You need to find your own balance.
     
  3. Wabi-sabi

    Wabi-sabi Imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete

    Go for it!

    Any sex is good for reprogramming your brain from seeking 2-D stimulation. I think part of your feeling low after orgasm is that you feel it's bad for your progress, almost like you are guilty. No - Enjoy!
     
  4. Imfree

    Imfree Member

    Yes, this is the way to go. I recently discovered that this is what causes "blue balls". If you don't engage in the above-mentioned activities, you can go for any length of time without masturbating and you will feel more comfortable physically and psychologically than you would if you were masturbating. Included in the lack of psychological discomfort is the absence of insomnia. The thing that was making it hard for me to sleep on a streak was simply the tension of not knowing if I was going to give in or not. If I know for sure that I am not going to masturbate, then I doze off in short order.

    I think that it's incredible that nearly 100% of the population believes such absurd things about masturbation when these lies are so easily dis-proven. You don't have to do anything. All you have to do is wait a couple weeks. For the people who are pro-masturbation, aren't you curious? Most men go their entire lives without going more than a week or so between orgasms. It really seems like a waste of one's life to not even try it, to not even know what it feels like to not masturbate. Denial is a powerful thing. Most of these people think that they are free.
     
  5. Anewlife

    Anewlife Member

    Thank you for this nice post.

    It makes complely sense to me, i never masturbate, only have O's with my girl BUT i notice that after such an O i feel really really depressed, down, sluggish etc....

    Even thinking about breaking up to have a long time of no O...

    by the way no arousal is the hardest hardest thing ever i see so much appealing girls when i empesize this method...

    any tips to endure? is it going to be easier the longer you do it or does it get harder???

    thank you
     
  6. Imfree

    Imfree Member

    It gets easier. It's just practice building up your resistance, no trick really. Orgasms from sex are not the same (not harmful). I don't really understand why you want to break up with your girlfriend. Have you tried telling her that you want to have sex less frequently to build up the anticipation?
     
  7. Anewlife

    Anewlife Member

    That isnt an option for her.

    I dont agree that orgasm from sex are nog harmfull

    every time you O your dopamine levels fall and prolactin levels rise for up to 2 weeks (!) i think you know what this means
     
  8. Imfree

    Imfree Member

    I sort of understand what you mean. When you first start dating somebody you wind up having a lot of sex, but this can't be sustained. In a sense the woman is taking energy out of the man (without a condom she is literally drugged by the semen). I read a book that argued that relationships don't last these days because each partner is too focused on having frequent orgasms and these wind up depleting them. Having orgasms from sex can create a benefical natural high though. You get the oxytocin, which doesn't happen with masturbation. I would be careful of taking your point of view too far. Avoiding porn and masturbation makes perfect sense. You want to save all your sexual reserves for a woman. I can see that there should also be limits to how much sex you are having. However, it is about balance. It is healthy to have a certain amount of sex. Avoiding sex at all times is a view so extreme that it is not even advocated by religious fundamentalists.
     
  9. Anewlife

    Anewlife Member

    Thank you

    I dont think sex is a bad thing, i think having regular orgasms with a woman accounts for losing interest/appetite for her.. Try it yourself if you want or look at reuniting.info


    Any tips on staying strong with noa?? It is so hard for me espeially in THE gym
     
  10. Imfree

    Imfree Member

    You are aroused by attractive women at the gym? I was doing pretty well with it, but I got completely overwhelmed and relapsed several times last week. I was having dreams of climbing higher and higher when I was on my streak, then last night (post relapse) I had dreams of going deep beneath the sea. Things came together and hit me pretty hard, I was physically ill as well. I suppose that it is hard to say for sure what caused what, but I think that getting sick every time I relapse argues against the idea that porn and masturbation are healthy.

    Personally, I wouldn't worry too much about checking out women while you are at the gym, but if you come home and masturbate to the memory afterwards that is another story. I've been just telling myself simple things like: "No matter how bad I feel right now, PMO/MO won't make me feel better for more than a couple minutes." "PMO/MO will only lead to more desire and frustration, not satiation. There is no such thing as just one video or one fantasy. It's a bottomless pit." "The porn isn't going to change and I'm never again going to get out of it what I did when I was a teenager. I'm not missing out on anything. Porn can only get worse." I was getting smaller and more watery ejaculations a while back to the point where I was afraid that I was going to make myself sterile, so the fear of getting back to that point is a big motivator.
     
  11. Anewlife

    Anewlife Member

    thank you

    checking out woman in the gym or on the street is something to worry about, you get frustrated / angry because they might not look back in the same way you look at them/you cant do with them the things you want/ your self esteem might lower because you dont get the attention back from them that you would like

    i notice that when i went to gym and checked out every ass in there i feel very sad, lethargic, unmotivated, low libido, simply not happy with the person that i am

    sadly, not looking is so super hard for me , since i was 15 or so ive been looking at every women everywhere i go

    think this had a huge impact on the person i am ( or believe to be) today

    in the past when i met a new girl i went super strong on not looking at other women and felt the best ever felt

    starting looking again and depression came back
     
  12. Dear Anewlife.. in addition to the excellent advices from other members, if I may, I'd suggest noA for a few weeks and see if it strengthens your situation.
    We somehow got too much into achieving O's.
    I honestly feel, until and unless we separate O's from sex - but splitting it into propagative and amative, we are going to keep circling and not progressing.
    Wish you all well.
     
  13. Anewlife

    Anewlife Member

    thank you all for responding

    i finally found the cure for this disease after suffering for years and years on end i can finally say i am cured and will be for life

    it was simple (but not easy) but i did it and so can you

    any questions i am more to happy to answer

    all the best
     

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