My way to Success ~|||~ Me telling you about myself

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Seb, Aug 30, 2016.

  1. Seb

    Seb New Member

    (English is not my native Language,jfyi)

    Hey Guys,

    I recently found out that I might have ED cause by Porn. I am 19 years old an soon will be 20. 6ft tall and 182lbs (a little fatty but still sporty ::) ).
    I will start the Story where it all began.

    I discovered Porn somwhere around the age of 13 and since have been using it for marturbation. With 17 I had my first resious relationship with a girl where we both wanted to have Sex together, and everything worked out fine. Weve been together 7 Months but as she had to move with her family, the long-distance relationship didnt work out that well. We´ve split up and I had a new Girlfriend a few weeks later. I just had my 19th Birthday and she was 16, and she wanted to wait for us havin sex until she would have been 17, wich was fine to me. I could have been Masturbating to achive orgasms and with her I would make out and kiss all evening long. Important fact : at this time I still would get an erectionwhile we were kissing on my Bed.
    She was a very shy Person and I hoped that she would have become more open to me about herself within our relationship, but no, she was not talking a lot and preferred her Hobbies and friends over me (we were only seeing each other once per week), and thats the reason why we decided to go different Paths.

    And then the shit began:

    So i just split up with that beautiful Girl, and fucked around with one girl that really liked me, but for me her body was just "okay". After 3 or 4 times of having sexual intercourse with her my Penis felt a little "weak" and wasnt that hard anymore. Could have been because I didnt like her that much as my previous Girlfriend that I was really in love with. As I couldnt reach Orgasm with that girl because I was getting weaker and weaker, I watched porn as always, because there everything was fine. Some time later the Girl left the town and I just had my Porn, as there were no Girls that I found attractive, until she came :)

    I saw a Girl with a really pretty face, a face that I adore so much that I can call it perfect. Her Body is not 10 outta 10, but I prefer her body Type over that what the majority likes. Third date and I decided that I want to have sex with her. We kiss, lay there in bed, and I keep going undressing her. She was very aroused and as I was looking at her I felt that I have butterflies in my Stomache. It sounds stuipid if I say that early, but at this point I alredy started to fall a little bit in love with her. The only Problem was that the love wasn´t getting in the Bodypart that is usually used for Love, and so I had no erection. I thought "WTF? Really? Why do I feel that close to her and really want to have sex with her, but there is nothing happening?" So I kept touching her and give her pleasure using my hands, but I couldnt have sex because of the non existant boner. After this fingering we were cuddling in bed and kissing. She was alright with it and is my Girlfriend now. Still. :) but the thing with my Penis has been giving me crazy thoughts. Why was it like that?

    The next time we met, nothing happened either :/ but after she left my appartement, I became solid rock with Porn. Mysterious. After these few times I started to google if there might be a Problem with me, and I found out that Porn may cause Ercectily Dysfunction (ED). As I was able to get hard with Porn but not without, the chances of me having a physical Problem were very low, but my Brain was fucked up because of Porn. So I decided "Man, you quit porn right now", and I did. For many guys its hard as I read here, but nothing was easier like this. I havnt watched Porn since one month and Im totally fine with it. Sometimes when I watch Dexter, the Tv-Series, there are nakey people, but then I try not to focus on them orskip forward one minute. Masturbation? Err.. I last masturbated 4 days ago. It was one month without porn and 1 Month with my new Girlfriend (GF), so I thought we can have sex finally, but nope. I googled again and found out that masturbating less or not at all will help as well to reboot. So I decided right now: "no masturbation until I can have sex with my GF"

    And thats where I am right now. I will start my Way of rebooting by still not watching any porn, and also stop touching myself. I will exercise a bit more, and also look at the girls in the gym. Real Girls, not that Porn shit on my Iphone. It was Easy for me to quit Porn, I dont need it. Next step is how good I am with not touching myself. I wake up with morning wood so I guess I am not that of a hopeless case, but the wa to a hard penis while with my GF is still long.

    My question for you guys:

    1. Is my mindset right? I mean, will not touching myself help to keep/bring back my libido? (Its that I want to have sex but cant because of PornED)
    2.1 I want to do Hardmode now, so no sexual arousal by porn or myself. Is it okay to be kissing my Girlfriend and stuff? Be honest please, I am confident, you cant hurt my feelings guys.
    2.2 As known my Brain still is wired to Porn, and i have to cut these wires and rewire them to real girls. Is it too early to rewire with my GF because I am still attracted to Porn?
    3. Any other advices guys?

    I am looking forward to your support, as I feel like I need peaople who I can talk with about that, and I hope that tis Forum is the right Place for that.

    Am already happy for any anwser below.
    Thank you so much Guys
    See you in a few days for my next report.
    This is day one of Hardmode ~ lets Go !
     
  2. Seb

    Seb New Member

    Okay so since the last time a few days have passed.

    Libido=none
    Erections=none

    I have no interest in having sex. Maybe its because IU havnt seen my Girl for a few days or why thats so but nope. not a lot going on with my Libido. Wait. there was one exception. I was watching TV and there was a nude girl in a really sexy pose, and i got that Porn-Libido feeling. I got a small Erection and If I would have touched myself I would be hard again, but i shut of the channel immediately after 2 seconds and began to do something else,just not to think about it. Seems like Im still wired in some kind of way to that stuff, but when I am with my GF i get 80%erections as well. ill keep not watching porn and also wont be masturbating.
    Extra: If I touch myself out of boredom, I dont get an erection either.Im not touching myself on Purpose. So yeah no Libido or sex drive.

    Note until the next Post: No Porn,no masturbating. When I will be with my Girlfriend again in the beginning of next week I will tell you how I wasdoing in erecting and what I was feeling. i will try to document my sexdrive or how my Libido feels.

    Comments are appreciated!
    SeeYou!
     
  3. Seb

    Seb New Member

    Its 2 days since my last post where I wrote about my non-existant Libido.

    Damn yesterday was terrible! When I was in the City and I saw any girl I looked immediately at her Butt and felt that "damn I´d like to fuck that". So thats how the Libido can change. I havnt got an erection tho´,but thats not the Problem. Im not a 13yo that gets erections every time a Girl passes by. I just want to be Hard when Im with my Girl, thats all.

    Soafter yesterday I woke up with a so hard cock! Jeezus :eek: I felt like the littlest touch would be satisfying, but I didnt masturbate or anything, I can still resist 8) something like 30days since HardMode (HM) and I get boners in the morning that are harder than ever :D okay..im talking about today but that makes me quiet happy.

    Tomorrow I will be with my GF again, finally after 6 days, and I will tell you afterwards how my erections were, now that my interest in sex is slowly rising and that morning wood of steel today :D now in the afternoon my balls hurt a little, i guess you call it "Blueballs". That might come from not orgasming, but its okay, I wont masturbate after that achievement in the last 2 days - it helps me to write to you guys :=)


    I encourage you to reply anything :)
    See ya :)
     
  4. Seb

    Seb New Member

    So I spent my Day with my GF, and I have to tell you that I sadly had no huge improvement. Slight 30% Boners while making out, but not a lot. Might be because my girlfriend got her period today and pheromones are not attracting me as much as they should. I will see her again in 2 or 3 days. Until then I will try to see how my erection is going in the morning and during the day. then Ill post again, and then after I was "rewiring" again with my GF in a few days.

    Im still positive, have no need to watch porn or to masturbate. My Libido is lower than the last to days but thats a too short term to make a right statement about that.

    I encourage you to post here :)
    keep your heead up and See you guys:)
     
  5. HuskyEyes

    HuskyEyes New Member

    When did you last watch porn ?
     
  6. Seb

    Seb New Member

    The last time I watched Porn was August the 1st and it was really easy for me to stop as I found out that I am not able to have real sex. I once have been very overweight but didnt care. One day I realized that that lifestyle wasnt healthy and stopped with eating unhealthy. If I do something i go for it, and you all can too :)



    Sooo the last few days were all different from each other. Ill try to summarize them for you with the most important Facts.

    The first day afI was thinking a lot about sex.not intentionally, but yesterday I woke up with a boner and had to think about having sex with a girl. I tried to stop fantasizing about it and hope that can help, but what I can learn from this is that my libido is not broken totally. Last week I was flatlining a bit and was worried, but you dont have to guys, a flatline will end.
    Today Ive been with my GF again and making out caused a 60% erection. I could have tried for going for sex but I think that it will go away as soon as we are naked and it will be an uncomfy situation, so we were just kissing,cuddling and stuff.

    I also found out that I look at woman in another way. I used to like thin girls, but since I havnt masturbated I go for sexy bodies and curvy butts. Thats a good Sign for my Libido, but the thing is to get an erection. Thats the goal. Erection to have sex with GF. How can I achive it? Idk... Ill just keep not watching porn, not masturbating and "rewiring" with my GF as much as I can. I hope thats enough...

    My few things for the next post:

    1. See in what direction my Libido goes (high Sex drive or flatline)
    2. Check how my morning wood is
    3. Try to rewire from fantasizing ASAP (Ill just change the thing that Im doing as soon as I find out that there is too mucht sex on my mind)

    See you Bros :)
     
  7. Seb

    Seb New Member

    Alright Guys, so I just want to discuss something over here. As you might do as well, I watch Netflix, and in some shows there are nude scenes and stuff. I usually dont watch on the screen as they are there, but yesterday it just randomly has shown up and i have got a 80% erection from seeing that topless woman on the TV.. I am afraid that these Kind of things might slow up the unwiring Process a lot. I mean, its just unnormal that I can get an erection that easily by just looking at this crap, but not with my GF.. I will try not to watch at these nude scenes again, and it was all not on purpose :/ I hope I will be good and continue hardmode.

    :'(

    I hope alot for me as i want to give my GF all the love that I have for her also in the Bed additionally to beeing a good BF.

    See you
     
  8. Seb

    Seb New Member

    I woke up today and didnt feel well. Im healthy but that ED thing is devastating. Either Im in a flatline again, or that 3 second nude scene in that series made me relapse... that would be so sad as it was totally unintentional and i already had 30 days of hardmode done... :-\

    Im not sure if its that or a flatline, but I think it made me relapse. Its annoying because it really wasnt on purpose. Il reset my counter to yesterday just to make sure that I can go 90 days totally without any erection induced by TV. :-\ :-\

    Sorry guys that this happened, I feel terrible :'( but I know that I can do it. I will not watch any TV unless Im sure that there weill be nothing sexual on the show.

    See you guys :-[
     
  9. TheLongWalk

    TheLongWalk Active Member

    That doesn't count as a relapse. Don't worry too much. It's not like you fired up a tube with multiple tabs open, looking for the 'perfect' scene. You didn't do it on purpose, so calm down and continue your reboot.
     
  10. Seb

    Seb New Member

    It might not count as one but I feel as my brain is satisfied with what it got :/ or I am simply flatlining which would be better obviously. We will see - Ill keep on moving with rebooting and am still highly motivated.
     
  11. Seb

    Seb New Member

    No artificial Progress in my Mental status. Quitting porn was easy, rewiring should be easy as well because I am fingering my GF and stuff, its just about time I guess. Im also flatlining right now I guess. Thats weird. I dont think about sex or how hot a girl is on the streets, but when Im with my GF I like to see her Boobies or Butt. I like it a lot but still only get 40-70% Boners, and after 10 minutes of making out heavily they are gone again. I will let you know when anything changes, either with my flatline or anything else.
    I hope I do everything right :/
    Stay tuned :)
     
  12. HuskyEyes

    HuskyEyes New Member

    How are you doing, Seb ?
     
  13. Seb

    Seb New Member

    Im fine. some time past since my last post, but thats because there were no significant changes in me or my behaviour. I still can resist to PMO as I really want to have Sex with my GF or other Girls in General. She is understanding and is okay with not having sex yet. Thats very good for me, otherwise I´d probably also stress myself and this stress might also slow down the reboot process, so Im glad she is fine.
    the last days were 5 days of pure flatline. Dead Penis and no interest in women, also no morning Wood. In the last 2 days I began to have spontaneous erections and also morning wood again. i was making out withmy gf and had a 40% Erection. As I havnt orgasmed for over7 Weeks already I get "Blue Balls" after such a making out session. That means that the balls are hurting,nut changing colours to blue or whatsoever if you are misunderstanding that.
    Ill keep on with no Porn and Orgasming. I trust all the posts with the non-linear reboot and hope that I will hop to a better erection level soon.

    See you guys!
     
  14. Seb

    Seb New Member

    Alright Guys. Today I tried to have sex with my GF. I had a 40% boner and was mentally pretty aroused by her. This reboot thing works. really. The first time we tried to have sex was almost 2 months ago and my Penis was nothing. No erection, pure nothing. these 40% from today might not be a lot, but they mean a lot to me. That shows me that it really works. In the end I wasnt hard enough to get into her vagina, but thats alright as I didnt expect very much. I will keep on rebooting until Im cured.

    another thing i want to mention is that this boner didnt hold pretty long, after trying to insert it into her for one min it began to soften again,but thats normal I guess.
    See you guys :)
     
  15. HuskyEyes

    HuskyEyes New Member

    I can relate a lot to your experience. Getting soft during penetration...
     
  16. Seb

    Seb New Member

    Yeah that sucks, but I am not ashamed about it because I feel that my reboot is real. It will be better. For me and for you. Its important that you dont blame yourself for it. Tell your sexpartner that you cant right now and hope it will be fine. Mine knows about everything and thats great, this way I dont make myself down with negative thoughts because there is no pressure from my GF.

    Another great thing that I experienced is a thing according to my erections. Lemme explain this to you. Since I was 13 or something, everytime, 1 second before I felt an erection was coming and the blood was beginning to get into my Penis whenever I saw a hot girl i felt a little "push" inside of my Dick. Idk how to better explain it. Hot girl -> feeling that push -> erection.
    Since I have PIED that only worked for Porn. Last night, that night with my GF, that changed. The day afterwards I have been thinking about her and got that "push" in my dick and a 30% erection. I havnt had that for a long time, just by porn. Im feeling great as I see that the Progress is slow but something is happening.

    We all can do it - See you guys :) !
     
  17. HuskyEyes

    HuskyEyes New Member

    Seb, how many days of no-PMO for you ? I'm on Day 107 - in flatline and today didn't have morning wood - it sucks.
     
  18. Seb

    Seb New Member

    I dont know the exact date of starting no-PMO. I estimate the date I may have started so it might be something like 49 days or so.
    No morning wood is okay. I have a nice statement to this if you wanna hear it. Dont make Sex or your PIED the main part of your Life. Dont just wait for it to be cured. I am going to school, meeting my friends, working, having fun and stuff and my sexual life is just one part of all these things. This way I dont bring the subject of PIED into a really high level. How you could have been following through my last posts, I make small, tiny tiny steps, that are not significant, but they show me it works, and tell me: "hey, you will be fine, just give it some time". And as long as the rebooting takes I will continue to do as many nice things as possible so I dont even think a lot of my ED. That way time will pass faster and I am not making myself feel bad for it :)

    And if you are in a flatline you probably wont have morning wood anyways - thats normal. I guess you should simply wait until the flatline is over. And remember-no worries :)



    I have a theory for my body and experience that I made in the last weeks of hard-mode-rebooting:

    I. First of all,there is the beginning, I stopped watching Porn and it was fine. Then all the other rebootingfactors occured.
    Phase 1: Flatline. No interest in Sex,no morning wood, no libido, no erections. A dead dick in general. it is important for me to know that whatever happens this phase will go over, so I ebnjoy my life and dont think about sex or my ED a lot.
    Phase 2: Average Phase with ED symptoms. I get horny when Im with my girlfriend, I like to touch her and everything. everey third or second day there will be morning wood, and some spontaneous erections. There is just the Problem with these erections. Here they are in a range between 1 up to 25%. So no sex but sexual interest.

    Then it either began again with a shorter flatline, and afterwards again Phase 2, or Phase 3 which I´ll explain in the following.

    Phase 3:Horny as Fuck. not all the time,but a lot. I get really flirty with girls even tho I´m not single. I am really interested in touching my girls body and talk sexually. im basically a real man that wants sex. Morning wood maybe slightly more often than in Phase 2 (every second day in average). And really hard boners that are random (65% :eek: ;) )

    So yeah i guess thats the sheme for me. Right now im in Phase 3. We will see where it goes.

    husky, tell me about yourself.

    See you fools :)
     
  19. Seb

    Seb New Member

    Okay Guys. Two Days ago i had a wet dream. The first time ever. I jizzed my Pants during sleep. Wtf. Never had that before, but okay. I guess its a good sign..? Maybe? Idk- I am not flatlining and feel okay. Lets see what will happen next.

    See ya
     
  20. nomaro

    nomaro New Member

    Oh man, you just wasted a lot of your time on porn!

    Masturbation has its benefits but definitely more side effects that you ever think of. Aside from ED, you can also make your emotional and mental health to deteriorate.

    Watching porn gives you more expectations on your girl. Once that is not met, you certainly gets disappointed and erection would be hard.

    I suggest that you focus on your non-masturbation challenge as it will help a lot. But if it fails, talk to a professional on how to treat ED once and for all.

    You are just 19, you will be okay!
     

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