My strategy,an alternative to the traditional cold turkey?

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by Xerophyte, Sep 23, 2014.

  1. Xerophyte

    Xerophyte Oi you, don't call me a jerk!

    Is there no way around cold turkey?

    I believe it is such a ludicrous method, that is not applicable anywhere in life... Whenever you want to achieve something it is advised to make yourself a big goal and break that goal into smaller, realistic targets which you aim to complete one after the other. For example you want to run a marathon, you can't just participate in one. It requires months, years of training.

    This is precisely what NoFap and NoPMO doctrine are. They are essentially saying its all or nothing. As soon as you relapse you're on square one of your reboot.

    I believe that there has to be a more approachable method to overcome this Addiction.

    First of all break down PMO into three different categories; Porn,Masturbation,Orgasm.
    Over come each category individually one after the other, after all if you can't beat them singly how on earth are you going to overcome them all at once?

    Its like training for a marathon. Break it down into; achieving a base fitness level, regular training and practice in running, doing half marathons and working yourself towards the real thing...

    [size=10pt]My strategy (in theory.)[/size]

    Stage 1.) Abstain from porn, your main priority until abstaining from porn is no longer an issue.(Fapping or sex with partner/hooker/doll :p don't matter FOR NOW at least)

    Stage 2.) Abstain from porn and masturbation. Now that porn doesn't bother you anymore you are essentially on a NoFap challenge. You can stick in stage 2 for however long you want to. The main purpose of stage 2 is to make Stage 3 easier. (You can have as much sex as you can. Have Fun 8))

    Stage 3.) Abstain from porn,masturbation and orgasm, essentially do a Full reboot going cold turkey on all aspects of PMO for whatever number of days you feel necessary.

    Please feel free to correct/improve my strategy, this scheme is just my current outlook on how to Beat Porn Addiction.
  2. Dude you should try what I do, I go for 90 days no O, but break it up into mini goals along the way.
    my strategy: (Days)- 1,2,3,5,7,10,14,21,30,45,60,90

    and youre right, it is difficult to go completely cold turkey. but the idea is to rewire. To start doing lots of new activities, & socializing, & eventually meeting girls...

    so when you rewire, you won't have to just sit around and think about going cold turkey, it will just happen when you focus on doing new things instead of focusing on the PMO habit.

    I think your strategy is great for early on in recovery. Good luck to you and anyone else who reads this. My strategy (mini goals) has helped me significantly, hopefully it can you too.
    We all work together to beat this!
  3. basspounder

    basspounder New Member

    This is basically what I've done without really planning it or knowing it until I look back. I'm still in stage 2 though while having sex but no MO. Don't know how I'm gonna be able to stage 3
  4. lookingahead

    lookingahead To restore my inmost being. Staff Member

    The body tends to want to stay in homeostasis, whether that means masturbating once a month, once a week, once every other day, or every day. Whatever a person's habit or regimine is, it tends to stay that way. A body in motion tends to stay on motion, a body at rest tends to stay at rest.

    It may be a shock to your system if you immediatly go from masturbating every day for years, to not masturbating at all for weeks or months at a time.

    On the other hand, some people's compulsive behavior may be causing such a strain that their body and brain are begging for a break, and when they finally decide to quit, their overall system will naturally re-adjust to much needed rest.

    Bottom line - everyone's different, and will require taking different steps in the recovery process. I wouldn't say that everyone needs to recover in the same order or sequence.
  5. rebooting

    rebooting Member

    A lot of people don't really do nofap, because they have a gf and make out every day. It is like doing a hunger strike on healthy food instead of fast food. It's cheating. Nofap is supposed to be temporary total abstinence from sexual pleasure. For single people, there is no gf to get affection from and no mental support.
  6. TheBorb

    TheBorb Bullshit detector

    Cold turkey IS possible, just difficult, that's all. The mindset has to radically alter in order for one to manage it, it can take a few relapses before the resolve strengthens. I've cold-turkeyed PMO, antidepressants, Tramadol and a 5yr nightly booze problem, all caused aftermaths but the aftermaths always clear, only one I find nigh-on impossible is nicotine, cold turkeying that makes me moody as fuck!!!!!!

    But that's next. Ultimately, 'tis all within my own sphere of power. Mine alone. ;)
  7. Xerophyte

    Xerophyte Oi you, don't call me a jerk!

    Thanks for the kind words.
    My strategy also promotes the idea being an active and social member of society etc... But many people, despite their efforts, get sucked back into PMO. How many times have you read journals where people say "had a great day and met this girl but then decided to PMO, i'm so depressed..."

    I don't get your homeostasis example but I agree everyone should experiment.

    Lovely analogy :D

    I never said Cold turkey is impossible. I said "I believe that there has to be a more approachable method to overcome this Addiction."

    I don't agree with this changing mindset. I don't believe will power alone can get us this far, at least this is not the case for the most of us. We need a plan that does not solely rely on our willpower. A method that takes into account all the individuals strength and weaknesses and still provides a route that is attainable

    Well done and a lot of respect for conquering all your other issues and addictions.
  8. Xerophyte

    Xerophyte Oi you, don't call me a jerk!

    Nice to see someone like-minded.

    How did you overcome Stage 1, what were your techniques?
    How long was stage 1 for you?
    Are all your desires to watch porn gone?
    Did you relapse often in stage 1?
  9. basspounder

    basspounder New Member

    Honestly for me quitting porn wasn't that hard at all. I would still MO to thoughts of having sex with girls I'd seen that day or something along those lines. I would relapse once in a while and look at some pictures but never actually watched anything. Now I could care less about porn and not the least bit interested. But, quitting the MO has been the hardest thing I've ever done and still fighting the battle. I've been trying for About a year to quit and I am now on my longest streak ever
  10. Xerophyte

    Xerophyte Oi you, don't call me a jerk!

    Amazing! A porn free life is a big achievement, many people don't even get this far.
    I'm noticing huge improvements in life without PMO, though I would say the reboot process is not as quick as it could be.
    Having said that, my urges are petite and manageable.

    I'm not sure how to tackle the MO issue as I'm not at that stage right now. But I have a few suggestions.

    Introduce a MO schedule.
    Try to MO once have you have surpassed a certain duration of time.
    In other words set yourself a goal, say not to MO for 15 days and once you have achieved this milestone you have the choice to MO if the urges are killing you or carry on with abstinence for as long as you can.
    Then repeat this process this time abstaining from MO for 20days and work yourself up...
    Slowly but steadily working yourself up to once a month to once every three month etc...
    With this same logic you exercise/train (e.g number of push ups...)

    Please do keep me updated with your progress :D
  11. Mr. T

    Mr. T New Member

    1. If you relapse, you just relapsed. It's the same as having lit another cigarette after you want to quit smoking. It's not helping your progression into a PMO-free life, but it might help you to understand your flaws, your weaknesses. That's the same reason I am not a fan of using those counters. Have you got any idea what happens after you reach the beginning of October? Are you healed? Are you allowed to masturbate? Did you overcome your porn addiction? Or do you simply want to say.. Oh, I can go without porn for 3 weeks, yay I am good!? To see your process in depth you might want to use a spreadsheet.

    Sometimes you need to f*ck up to learn the lesson.

    2. If you want a quick recovery, the regular advice is to quit all together. Porn being the artificial brainwash, but mostly PMO addicts also have developed an MO addiction alongside. Hardmode (complete abstinence of P, M, O will give you the best results in a short time). This is the reboot part, next is the rewire and you can do them parallel to each other. It is even advised to do. Again, I am not saying it is bad to have a different view on this, what ever works for you works.. it only sounds like an excuse not having to face the difficult road. You think life itself is easy? ;)

    In my humble opinion.. I think you shouldn't compare the addiction of PMO with training for a marathon. An addiction is breaking down a habit, a marathon is the cultivation of a habit.

    I would like to advice you.. dive deep, find some pearls and make a beautiful necklace! Not hating on your strategy, just sharing my opinion and wish you a quick recovery.
  12. Xerophyte

    Xerophyte Oi you, don't call me a jerk!

    I thank you sincerely for your input and advice.

    Regarding the first part of the message. I only consider it a relapse when you actually PMO (Orgasm with porn). Note,that is only valid when you're in stage 1 (see OP.)

    My aim is to be porn free like basspounder where porn is no longer an issue for me. Then I will abstain from MO as well, this can take however long it may need.

    The sole purpose of this alternative route, In my opinion, is for all those people who can't get over the first few weeks. This is just to start the ball rolling ya know?

    With the cigarette example (even though it is a different type of addiction) you need to cut down consumption before you can stop entirely IMO.

    Please could you elaborate on the " This is the reboot part, next is the rewire and you can do them parallel to each other." I thought this was an automatic process that occurs when you are no longer exposed to the stimuli??? :eek:

    I also wish you a quick recovery :)
  13. ClayJack93

    ClayJack93 New Member

    There are some people who are at a severe stage where they MUST hardline cold turkey, No P,M, or O, and if they O they ARE back to square 1. Everyone is different. Some people need to cold turkey, atleast for a while.
  14. Mr. T

    Mr. T New Member

    In most cases MO and P are strongly connected, especially when suffering from PIED the best medicine is cold turkey. Your penis needs a rest and time to reboot/recover itself. I understand you only count PMO as full relapse, but MO'ing during reboot will slow down your process.

    Can you explain why you would cut down on cigarettes? All addictions have one thing in common and that's dopamine release
    If you understand your addiction you will know how to deal with it. How to manage your behavior, knowledge is power. I stopped smoking cold turkey over a year ago, never touched a cigarette since then. To me (IMHO), you are trying to find an easier way to deal with your addiction and need others approval to continue your method. Again, if this works for you.. I am not saying it's bad, but you can do faster. Compare this to rip off a bandage in a fraction of a second, or slowly tearing it from your skin.

    Now, let's get to the most important part of this entry ;)
    Reboot, the neuropathways in your brain have to erase the porn addiction. You have overstimulated your brain with dopamine, thanks to the plasticity of your brain it can be healed to original settings. Rebooting simply means you agree PMO is not good for your health (emotionally and physically) and stop the consumption of it.

    Recovering, over time the pathways will be forgotten and you don't use PMO to release dopamine in your brain.

    Rewire, if you don't make love to a computer screen anymore.. to what are you doing it then? Your penis has a function and you need to learn to have successful sexual activities.

    No, reboot does not give you automatic rewire because you cut down on these stimuli. The underlying message to get over this PMO addiction is.. explore the beautiful possibilities in life, rather than sitting in your chair with your dick in your hand!
  15. Xerophyte

    Xerophyte Oi you, don't call me a jerk!

    Ouch ;D

    There is no chaste alternative???

    Sorry for the late reply :-[
  16. toxicviper23

    toxicviper23 Guest

    Took me awhile but cold turkey is working well for me :)
  17. Mr. T

    Mr. T New Member

    I don't know..? ???

    Nature designed a penis to get into a vagina. :)
  18. NickRiviera

    NickRiviera Guest

    Yes there is. Rewire without sex - as in having a girlfriend you don't have sex with, maybe get a cuddle buddy. Don't abuse porn. Learn more about sexuality from good sources*. With time, you will learn what you need to know to make sensible and responsible decisions about your sexuality.

    * Sexual education is vastly underrated and since sex ed in school and from parents is severely lacking in many countries, guys all too often learn from watching porn. Ugh.
  19. Xerophyte

    Xerophyte Oi you, don't call me a jerk!

    I have got to learn to stick to my plan arghh :mad:

    If I did I would have been on stage 2 by now easily.

    Anyways making huge progress :D from 3 days of abstinence to 23 days I'm optimistic.
  20. steve2006

    steve2006 No Ragrats

    cold turkey is pretty much the only way OP. This is coming from a guy who has been fighting it for the last 3 years now. Just dont beat yourself up over relapsing. Its the way you will learn and get to the end

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