Musicman Journal 2.0

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Musicman 2.0, Nov 13, 2016.

  1. Musicman 2.0

    Musicman 2.0 This is not a sprint, but rather a marathon...

    Morning Brothers. Thanks for all the comments.

    This was a great week. Haven't felt like posting much lately but I just want to stay connected to the process. Pushed through all resistance this week and handled all of my main priorities. I feel like this new relationship is starting off on the right foot, although I am feeling some emotions of wanting to pull away as she wants to get closer. Which is just my old habits trying to take over. My Mr. Nice Guy inside starts to feel trapped and I have to remind myself that I am an adult and I have the power to choose whatever is best for me at any moment... Pretty uneventful week overall, I did however, up my time in meditation and I started reading a book entitled "Declutter your mind". A lot of really helpful information.

    Much love to all...

    One day at a time...
     
  2. Gabriel1960

    Gabriel1960 Self-Actualization Rocks!!!

    Yo. Be well.
     
  3. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

     
  4. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Your post has got me smiling MM. How beautiful that you are embracing the ride. Hell, yeah, it can be scary, but how invigorating to take a chance on your remarkable self. Yup, still smiling. :)
     
  5. Musicman 2.0

    Musicman 2.0 This is not a sprint, but rather a marathon...

    What up Beastmode?! You still killing it in the gym? I had a pretty serious injury at the gym so I'm down for a while. Hope to get back at it in a few months. But I'll need to lift smarter not harder this time. Have to take better care of my body as I'm getting older. Not healing up from these injuries like I did 10 years ago...;) On a positive note, this has led me to begin meditating much more, exercising my mental muscles and its been pretty awesome.

    Thanks Billy. Declutter your mind is by S.J. Scott and Barrie Davenport. Listened to it on Audible. Finished it today. Had a lot of really helpful tips. Mental training is just as important (if not more) as physical training I'm really understanding that more now than ever. Working on training my mind to be more efficient and resilient. I'm finding that I'm less anxious and more focused when my mind is better organized. Sounds so simple when I explain it that way, yet seems so hard to actually do at times...lol.

    Thanks Saville. Your comments mean a lot. Man, we've been walking this journey for a while now... Feels damn good to see some continued progress in this area...


    Been dealing with some pretty serious physical pain over this past week but working my way through it. Had been wanting to post and had sat down several days to post on others pages but just didn't have any words so I honored that... Today was absolutely awesome. Had a challenge at work I had to deal with, I rose to the occasion and handled my business. Faced a huge dragon and slayed that biatch...lol. Also my communications with Ms. Healthy have been very organic and natural. I'm feeling a genuine physical and mental attraction to (I like the sound of that...:cool::cool:) My anxiety concerning sexual situations or concerning PIED are slowly dissipating as I'm finding myself communicating honestly and openly and I feel she is doing the same. I'm starting to see when two people genuinely communicate fear goes away. As fear and love cannot exist within the same space... This is the most genuine I have ever shown up to begin a relationship, and I'm liking it. Still taking my time, not in a rush, just enjoying the process... We'll see where it goes... Through the bad times, and though the good. Thanks brothers for always being here....I pray for all of you that you continue to reach your goals in becoming the best version of yourselves...

    You know how I roll bros...

    One day at a time...
     
    devnull and Billy B. like this.
  6. Musicman 2.0

    Musicman 2.0 This is not a sprint, but rather a marathon...

    In a great rhythm right now. My mind feels so much more clear without PMO and with the increased meditation. I feel much more centered and ready to deal with changing life circumstances...

    Much love to all...

    One day at a time...
     
    Billy B. and devnull like this.
  7. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Glad to hear it.

    And good best of luck with Ms Healthy. I like that "This is the most genuine I have ever shown up to begin a relationship..." Big changes afoot! :)
     
  8. Jam

    Jam Active Member

    Really happy for you MM. Keep moving forward. Embrace the moments.
     
  9. Mozenjo

    Mozenjo Active Member

    Hey there, M. It's been awhile. Things sound like they're going really well. I'm inspired by your determination. Enjoy the process, bud. You're doing great!
     
  10. Gabriel1960

    Gabriel1960 Self-Actualization Rocks!!!

    M

    You're my hero. For real. You have a friend for life.

    G
     
  11. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    It sounds like you're swimming with the flow, Musicman. Great to hear:)
     
  12. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    It all sounds cool, brother. :)
     
  13. bobjes

    bobjes Active Member

    The new journal worked. :)
    Welcome to the new MM. ;)

    Much love and flow to you.
     
  14. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Let the benefits give you even more motivation! Very cool. You inspire me.
     
  15. Gabriel1960

    Gabriel1960 Self-Actualization Rocks!!!

  16. Musicman 2.0

    Musicman 2.0 This is not a sprint, but rather a marathon...

    Morning Brothers! Billy, Marston, Bobjes, Saville, NCB, Moz, Jam, thanks for the comments!! And G I feel the exact same way bro...

    It has been a very challenging yet very rewarding week indeed!! I am very happy to report that things are progressing well with Ms. Healthy! In conjunction with staying away from PMO, I have really been doing a lot of study and work on showing up in my masculine as a man more often and being true to myself. It really has been reaping rewards in my work and personal life. It feels scary as hell at times because it still feels so foreign to me at times. At times I feel selfish for doing what I want all the time. I think I'm finding a much better balance at doing things for others and doing things that make me happy. I am such a naturally giving person, in the past I would always do too much then end up feeling resentful and angry. I was extremely very passive aggressive. Somewhere along the journey (in conjunction with reading Mr. Nice Guy over and over) I learned that my giving was really a form of control and manipulation. I was just being nice so people would be a certain way to me in return... Now I feel as if I am much more assertive in my dealings with people. Especially with Ms. Healthy. There have been several occasions for me to show up as my old nice guy self, and I caught myself and replaced that coward with my true authentic self. I stood my ground on things without getting an attitude and she responded so positively it surprised me. I'm learning for the first time in my life how to stand my ground on things without having to be angry and actually having a fun playful attitude with it. (It's like I'm having this epiphany that I can be strong and confident without being a dick!! :p:p:cool::cool:LMAO) Getting angry and frustrated kills attraction in a relationship. Being playful and staying centered and focused encourages it. Such a slight change in my behavior but it is reaping many rewards. There is plenty of fear inside of me that I will mess this up at some point, but thats ok... I have resolved to continue forward and just learn as I go and grow... mistakes and all. I choose today to love all of me whatever may come...

    Lifes not perfect, but it feels good to be seeing some growth and I'm very grateful for it...

    Still dealing with this nagging injury and dealing with a lot of pain most days, but it is slowly healing and improving...

    Much love to all...

    One day at a time...
     
    Billy B. likes this.
  17. bobjes

    bobjes Active Member

    Just what the doctor ordered. Lovin it MM. Thanks M8.

    bear hug to u!

    ;):)
     
  18. Musicman 2.0

    Musicman 2.0 This is not a sprint, but rather a marathon...

    Thanks Bobjes. Hug back at you bro.

    Today was interesting. A very productive day overall but feeling unsettled. I've been gaming some so I'm pretty sure that's part of it. I also have some big plans for this week and I'm feeling a bit nervous inside. A part of me wants to self-medicate with PMO to take the edge off... Decided to post instead. Going to have some tea, meditate and then go to bed. Hope all had a good day.

    Much love to all...

    One day at a time...
     
  19. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

     
  20. Musicman 2.0

    Musicman 2.0 This is not a sprint, but rather a marathon...

    Thanks Billy B. I hadnt really been looking at my streak, but yes its nice to see it stretchin out... Your doing awesome at over 60 days!

    Today again my energy feels all over the place. Really fragmented. I know I need to meditate, pray, and go over my goals and affirmations when I get like this. PMO is not an option... To stay connected to my breathing and stay connected to my purpose and not lose my center as a man. My mind and body has been trained for many years to retreat and hide when I am afraid. To turn into a nice guy, beta male... There is still a big part of me that is afraid of being judged for not being good enough... What I'm focused on teaching myself now is to continue moving forward when I feel like this. To let my purpose continue to be my anchor although I may be pulled back and forth by emotions. To allow people to see my true authentic self and if they judge me, thats thier problem, but to allow myself to be me in spite of criticism or encouraging words... If I make mistakes so be it...I'll learn as I go... So simple to articulate, yet so difficult for me to do... But, I will continue to do it regardless of how I feel...

    Learning as I go...

    One day at a time...
     

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