http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/s5n1u/emailing_with_gary_wilson_ybop_creator/ I'm starting this thread based on the reddit-thread. It deals with a cult being developed around masturbation being unhealthy. And hating everything that’s even remotedly associated with normal sexuality. Now, yourbrainrebalanced is a far cry from that but I've noticed a similar attitude around some posters. There was the guy who was a chronic relapser who insisted on doing it without masturbation, religiously defending the 90 day-reboot. Although he would have probably been more successful already if he had chosen the orgasm reboot. The comments in fat are the ones that I wanted to draw attention to. I have hung around the /r/nofap IRC and the reddit page for 3 months (I have moved here, since it is a safer and warmer environment...reddit has its fair share of trolls). During my time there I have noticed a bit of a pattern. There are those that make it to 90 days with no masturbation and no pornography from the first try, and then they relapse and have an extremely difficult time building that streak again. I'm talking about people who go from making it to 90+ days to being incapable of doing one week. I've seen so many posts asking "what is going on, I did 90 days but I can't get back up... its become impossibly difficult". The other group of people are those that relapse often. They keep trying, and they have good months and bad months. Some times they make it a month, other times they relapse after 7-10 days. Slowly and surely, these people do get to 90 days. It takes some of them months to do it...others it takes years to do it, but they eventually do manage it. From my experience with nofap, I managed 15 days during my first real streak (after one false start). After I relapsed, I made it to 7 days. Then slowly that number went down to 3 and 4, and managed to grow back to 7 occasionally. This continued for about two months. For two months I just could not stop myself. It was like my brain would just shut off. And then suddenly in July I make it to 22 days. And then I make it to 12 days, and then 13 days, and then 5 days and now I just relapsed today at 9 days. Recovery is not linear. Gradually I will make it to 90 days. Slow and steady wins this race. You have to change the way your brain functions. This is a gradual process. Either way, regardless of whether or not you build a long streak or don't...you have to go through this process. If you make it to 90 days during your very first few attempts, you will have trouble if you relapse. This is a very common theme on /r/nofap. Here is where the problem comes in though. When your urges are pounding you hard, you don't want to be thinking "oh I'll just give in to my urges, it won't reset my streak". You're just setting yourself up for failure. You're basically justifying giving up. I have come to realize that there is indeed a breaking point...a point where you just can't go any further. A point where your mind just turns off and you masturbate, but the concept of giving up should NEVER enter your rational mind. If you are not ready yet, you will relapse. Your emotional brain will overpower your rational brain and you will lose the battle. But do not help this process by thinking that its ok to relapse. There is no need to. Its going to happen anyway. When you are ready, you will be able to hit that 90 day mark. Your rational mind will prevail over your desires. That does not happen automatically, and it certainly won't happen any faster if you tell yourself its ok to give up. No my friends, I do not think that there should be a tolerance for masturbation or porn. Keep those thoughts for your emotional mind. They are the very thoughts and actions that we are trying to defeat. I guarantee you this: if you stick with this, if you never give up...no matter how many times you relapse...you will make it past 90 days. It is a guarantee. Do not limit yourself. Limits are meant to be broken. This is exactly what I mean. He keeps talking about the future tense and about a 90-day reboot as if it is something that’s almost religious to him. Now, I don’t want to come across as if I’m specifically targeting this person, but he serves as a good example of how toxic cult-thinking can be. Which is something we should avoid entirely. Another reason I've noticed is that demonizing masturbation seems to go together with demonizing normal sexuality. There were the comments by Laurynas about Underdog's use of prostitutes, even though he's never been more succesfull at leaving porn behind. When people say they'll go into a weekly masturbation schedule, we have people saying "that's a lot", "don't masturbate", "it's unhealthy.” Mostly by the member quoted above….. It's strange but it's almost religious. We need to realize that rebooting is something temporarily and that in the first place you're doing this FOR YOURSELF. This means that you choose a way that works FOR YOU, and not a way that will impress others the most. So if you want to do it with blockers, then that’s fine, but please leave the “you’re not resisting porn comments” alone. The key here is to have us moving forward and not trying to follow cult guidelines. This also means that once past a certain point delaying masturbation simply for showing off how great you are IS USELESS and most of the time quite arrogant. I think yourbrainrebalanced is an awesome community, but if we really want to get more media exposure to the problem of porn addiction, then cult-thinking is something that must be avoided at all cost. I’ve recently contacted a television show and they said they would report my story to their news channel. So far I havn’t gotten anything back, but it’s also election time so I’m given them some slack. Nonetheless I’m really determined to get this problem exposed and the media seems a great channel to do this. But when this happens, the last thing I want to encounter is the problem of porn addiction not getting the attention it deserves because we’re being portrayed as a cult of people who demonize sexuality and everything that’s related around masturbation. Let’s not go down that path folks!