I just remembered an experience from my childhood. I was about 5, lying on the couch with my housemaid on top of me. This image has always been in my head but I never understood it. I started digging deeper and tried to recall what happened but its like a blank void exists after that. Finally I came to the realisation that I was sexually abused that day. Who knows maybe it happened more than once. Its just that my brain never comprehended what exactly was happening to me till now. I've never understood why I've always been so sexually curious since I was a little kid. More than other kids. As far as I remember I've been addicted to porn from the time I discovered porn. Maybe this childhood experience is the cause of why I avoid talking to real women and instead choose to look at one behind a screen. I've been lying in shock for one hour. Posting here was the only thing I could think of.