Journal - Overcoming PIED/PE, once and for all!

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by Nazzy6283, Jan 7, 2017.

  1. Nazzy6283

    Nazzy6283 New Member

    Hi guys,

    I apologise if my 1st post is gonna be a long read. Trust me, it's gonna be worth it.

    I've had PMO addiction for 10 years. PMO'd heavily since 14-year old and continued till 24. Was so bad, I started watching abusive porn few times (I stumbled upon Necrophilia once!). Worse, I realised in 2016 that porn doesn't turn me on, as I used to. PMO went from 100% erection to 70% erection in 2016. Was I desensetised from years of porn abuse? Maybe.

    I'll give you a quick summary of myself:

    • 25-year old with great career, wealth (I save and invest a lot) and active in sports (bodybuilding, boxing, calisthenic, muay thai, obstacle challenge, swimming and running).
    • Great body, after years of sports and bodybuilding.
    • Confident, outgoing and charismatic, which makes me really comfortable around girls. Some friends consider me as an alpha male among our group.
    • Smoked weed excessively. Stopped when I was 23.
    • Smoked cigarettes excessively, due to my stressful work nature.
    • Slept 2-3 hours per day.
    • Always impulsive and filled with negative thoughts.
    Now, I'll tell you how it all began. How I discovered I had PIED, and how it affected me.

    1st gf 'Chrissie' (2009) - Had 1st sex when I was 17. I was so nervous, I PE'd after entering her. Tried again after 30-minute cuddling, and continued to have sex for the next 10 minutes or so. Started getting super-horny after break-up, I frequented sexual massage parlor.

    2nd gf 'Nini' (2011 - 2013) - Constant cuddling, fondling and kissing which led to constant BJ and HJ. Didn't had sex with her. I was so horny, that I had my 2nd sex with an escort. The sex was great although I went limp after changing positions. I lasted for 20 minutes and managed to make her come.

    3rd gf 'Nisa' (2014 - 2016) - Constant cuddling, fondling and kissing which led to constant BJ and HJ. She's really good when it comes to BJ, used to BJ me all the time while I'm driving. I'm always rock hard when I was with her. Didn't had sex with her, as she wants to keep her V-card.

    4th gf 'Maira' (Nov 2016) - She's the most amazing person I've met. She confessed that she was sexually active with her two exes and I'm okay with that. During my birthday on Dec 3, she came over to my house and we had some sexy time. She wouldn't give me a BJ because she's wearing a braces, so she decided to let me fuck her instead. Things were going great and when it's time for us to start fucking, guess what..

    I COULD NOT GET IT UP! TRIED FORCING IT UP WITH LUBRICANT AND I GOT 40% ERECT. WORSE, I PE'D BEFORE I ENTER HER! IT WAS SO EMBARASSING! THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE! :(

    Maira laughed at first. But then, she decided to let me go again for the second time. Tried to use porn this time to get it up (obviously, she was not okay with this), and guess what..

    I STILL CAN'T GET IT UP, DESPITE EVERYTHING I TRIED! WAS SO NERVOUS THAT I PE'D WHILE I WAS 20% ERECTED. FUCKKKKKKKKK!!!! :(:(

    Maira started to play with her phone when I was trying hard (pun intended). She said she wanted to shower, put on her clothes and had to leave. She was so supportive though despite me failing twice. She went on to hug me and kiss me before she left.

    I remember the look in Maira's eyes, when I walked her to her car. It was like she couldn't believe what just happened. Here I am, a well-built athlete with a great body who can't get it up, and worse PE'd twice before entering her. She told me it's okay, and I might be nervous but I knew that I was not okay. :(

    I fell into a severe depression that night, I smoked two packs of cigarette in the next three hours. Was sleepless, suicidal thoughts appeared endlessly in my head. What happened to me? Am I broken? Those thoughts frequent itself in my head.

    I did what everyone will do these days, I Google'd what the fuck just happened to me. I discovered Gabe Deem's video, RebootNation and YBOP. Spent hours that night watching all videos related to PIED. Even watched Noah Church's video. Next day, spend the whole day watching videos and reading everything I can get my hands on, about PIED/PE/ED/DE.

    I knew there was something I need to do. I can't keep crying and hope for things to get better. I've to take action! If I don't do something about it, I might lose Maira in the long run. Yes, she'll say it's okay now, but what happens if she got fed-up of my PIED/PE and decides to call it a quit? Fuck! The thought of it scares me. I love her so much. I really do.

    I decided to give this hard mode reboot journey, a try. No PMO for the next 90-day. I knew it was not gonna be easy but fuck it, I'm not gonna let porn take away my manhood, my love and my life! Just like that, I decided to quit bad habits and start new good ones.

    I purchased the app 'Habit Bull' and started tracking my reboot process (Best app I've purchased in my life! Trust me guys, it's really worth it!). Here's how my reboot has gone so far:


    Bad habits I'm overcoming

    1. Haven't PMO'd in the past 35 days
    2. Haven't smoked cigarette in the past 35 days
    Good habits I've started
    1. Showered with cold water, for the past 35 days (I read it's good for reboot)
    2. Updated my expenses daily with MoneyLover app, for the past 35 days
    3. Drank 7 glasses of plain water, for the past 35 days
    4. Meditated with the Headspace app, for the past 22 days (Purchased this app too, strongly recommended!)
    5. Brush my teeth 3 times daily with right hand, for the past 5 days (I'm a lefty, I read by using non-dominant hand you can enhance brain neuroplasticity and psychomotor skills)
    6. Use stairs instead of escalators, for the past 4 days
    7. Packed my items and planned my to-do list for next day, for the past (I've always had hard time being punctual and felt like I don't have enough time, this habit has changed all that).
    New good habits I'm planning to start
    1. 20 reps of 20 Kegel exercises daily
    2. Write daily on this site (starts today! :D)
    3. Rope-skipping 500 times daily
    4. Sleep 6-7 hours daily (Trying my best. Ugh!)
    5. Pray 1-2 times daily (I'm a Muslim, it's obligatory. I know, I know don't judge me haha!)
    Honestly, I can't believe I've made it this far in my reboot journey (I still can't fucking believe it myself, as I'm writing), especially with its ups and downs. I felt as if this reboot has led me to become emotionally vulnerable, but this is amazing. I feel human again after so long!

    Throughout my reboot, I visited a urologist and a sex therapist once. Urologist prescribed me with 100mg ginseng supplement (to be taken twice daily), ginseng creme for my penis (to be applied twice daily) and Xydiena (Udenafil viagra, just in case if I've to use it). The sex therapist wanted me to start masturbating without porn again, after my 25 day reboot (which is against hard mode reboot). I decided to stop visiting him as I couldn't afford costly sessions and expensive supplements like Green Oat Extracts, GABA and etc.

    In short, here's how I've felt so far, in my reboot:

    • 1st week - Felt good, had an ecstasy on life. Mindfulness was everywhere. :)
    • 2nd week - Depressed and suicidal. :(
    • 3rd week - Had morning wood (50% erection) and wet dream after so long (last had them when I was 23). Had a semi-boner whilst staring at a girl at the office. :)
    • 4th week - Depressed and suicidal again. Cried few times. Help! :(
    • 5th week (now) - Tried getting 6-hour sleep daily. Had consistent morning wood (90-100% erection) lately, and life felt good. :)
    I'm lucky that Maira is far away, and we're kinda in a long-distance relationship. This gave me the opportunity to go hard mode in my reboot, and be a better, healthier and smarter person. I may not get to see her till the next 30 days or so and I hope to be on a better progress till then.

    This PIED/PE experience has taught me to appreciate my life better. I now regret those years I've wasted with PMO. If only I would've stopped PMO and make use of my time better, I wouldn't be suffering like this and I'd be more successful in life.

    I know I'm still far from recovery, but I hope to see the light at the end of this tunnel one day. I appreciate all the support I can get from you guys in my journal here, and I'll try my best to support your reboot in any way possible.

    Hopefully one day, we'll all get to recover, and this will just be nothing but a distant memory in our lives.

    Till then, keep trucking guys. Tomorrow will be my 1st-day update on my 36 days of no PMO. I'm already excited! Haha.

    Thank you for reading guys! God bless!

     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2017
    therealgilgalad likes this.
  2. Nazzy6283

    Nazzy6283 New Member

    Day 36:

    Had a long boxing training session with my close friend Zed last night. He brought along his classmate Vanessa. Damn, Vanessa was hot. I couldn't stop looking at her, when I was teaching her boxing and other stuffs. I could tell that me and Vanesa clicked well, because we were just so comfortable around each other. She even said she felt as if she has known me for a long time. Guess what, Vanesa has never had a boyfriend all her life. She's 24 now ( I know right, wtf haha!). It was going great, till she asked me if I'm single or not (bummer :oops:). I told her I'm not.

    We chilled till 2 am last night, and Vanesa was sitting next to me (like really close :D). We kinda got a bit touchy as we chilled, and she's okay with that. Can that be considered as rewiring, and helpful to my recovery? I hope so.

    Woke up early for my dental appointment (with morning wood :D), I went to the dentist and met Amanda the receptionist. I've always loved talking to her. She's beautiful and she has great eyes. Had a great chat with her, and accidentally saw her cleavage as she was bending down. I read somewhere that talking to a girl for 2 minutes too is considered as rewiring. I hope it is.

    Later that night, I was chilling with my close friend Zed and James. Both of them are well aware of my PMO progress. It's just that they didn't know I'm doing this because I had PIED/PE with Maira a month ago. I wonder what they'd think of me? They'll laugh their ass of at me.

    Worse, James tried to tempt me into relapsing. He tricked me into watching a nip slip video. I looked away instantly. I'm done with all these bullshit pixel stimulation in my life. I've been refraining from sexual images online for quite some time now.

    That's it for now on Day 36. I'm planning to start a new habit of doing bodyweight squats (100 times daily) because I heard it's good for PE recovery, it strengthens your pelvic control. I also heard that we've to do reverse Kegels alongside normal Kegels to overcome PE. Whatever it is, I'll start doing them daily if it's good for my PE recovery.
     
  3. Vanessa seems as the perfect girl to rewire. She probably doesn't have a lot of experience so her expectations will not be high. That will not put the pressure onto you to perform as a pornstar if it comes to something more serious. In my opinion you don't need necessarily to have sex or hook up with a girl to be considered as a "rewire". Just mare spending time with and around girls is a positive step (maybe not huge but its still a progress which may eventually lead you to your goal).

    My advice is not to tell your friends about your PIED problems. I wouldn't tell. It will put an unnecessary pressure onto you. I know that many people claim they don't give shit about other people opinion, but those are your close friends and everyone has a need to have a decent status among his friends. Loosing manhood means loosing a crown(especially cuz you stated that you've got an alpha status among them which means they are looking up to you).

    Don't worry about incidentally seeing some naked picture. It's not considered as relapse and people on this site just need to chill the fuck down with obsessing about it. Like I can't go to fb or instagram cuz its bad for my reboot. Fuck that, I can't live without social networks and its absolutely needed in todays professional and private life.
    Just try to stay away from sexting with girls .

    I've no idea what reverse kegels are. I'll just stick up to my normal kegels routine cuz doing all things at one time can be counterproductive. It put's pressure onto you to do all those stuff while millions of normal men perform perfectly without having any idea of what Kegels are. Our goal should be just to live as normal(without freaking out) as possible and stop PMO and MO.

    Keep us updated what is happening with Vanessa and Maira.
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2017
  4. Nazzy6283

    Nazzy6283 New Member

    @therealgilgalad Vanesa is indeed perfect. She's a virgin, but I could see it in her eyes that she's aroused when we got touchy. Best of all, she's very cuddly haha. :D

    Thanks for the advice about not telling my friends. I was afraid the same thing too, that they might make fun of me and I might get more anxious. Yup, I shouldn't keep worrying too much.
     
  5. Nazzy6283

    Nazzy6283 New Member

    Day 37:

    Slept for 2 hours only last night as I was on the phone with Maira for 4 hours straight! We had a long conversation, and even talked about how life is gonna be like when we get married. Damn I've never been this serious with someone and thought about marriage before. I guess Maira is special, she could be the ONE. I just can't wait to recover from my PIED/PE, because I'm afraid that it might get in the way of our relationship. :(

    Woke up with another morning wood today (40% erection). Went to work like usual and realised Vanessa was all over my Facebook notification. She sent me two loves on Facebook this morning and she keeps on liking my post. I might be wrong, but she might be hinting something.

    I had this sudden rush of Libido in the train, on my way home. It could be due to the girl in short skirt who was sitting next to me. I could feel her thigh next to me and I just felt horny as fuck. Decided to meditate with Headspace App to calm myself down.

    When I got back, I was watching a random video on YouTube, when I saw this scene where a female masseuse was in the parlor with her client. OMG INSTANT BONER, IT FEELS ELECTRIFYING AND MAGICAL! I don't know if this is progress or not, but I had a boner by watching that and it wasn't even vanilla porn to begin with.

    During my PMO days, I was so numb that I'm only able to get 50-60% erection while watching hardcore and messed up porn. I would ejaculate during PMO with only 50-60% erection. I guess my brain has started to rewire and desensetized itself in this reboot process.

    Later that night, I felt so horny after shower I decided to test myself. I was touching myself and thinking about Maira when I was lying down and guess what, I got a 100% erection!!! That electrifying feeling from my brain to my penis fucking came back after so so long!

    I've never had 100% erection for close to a year (in 2016 when I was still PMO'ing, I only got to 70 - 80% erection). In fact, my penis felt thicker and more firm! I was so happy that I almost masturbated! Thank god I didn't! Or else, it would've been a relapse!

    Today has definitely be a good day for me! :D That's it from me for now for Day 37. I'm going to bed early tonight. Let's see what's gonna happen tomorrow if I get 5 - 6 hours tonight.





     
  6. Nazzy6283

    Nazzy6283 New Member

    Day 39

    I haven't posted my updates for quite some time. Morning erection is starting to come back normally after trying to get 5 - 6 hours of sleep daily. Edged after showers and I'm able to get full erection (if not only 80% sometimes) but erection doesn't last because I am not stimulating it.

    Yesterday I felt like crying all night long. Today I felt good, like really really good. I hate this emotional roller coaster that comes along with this reboot. The good thing is that I've never been as productive as I am in my life before. I guess all that sexual energy that is not used for masturbation is being put to good use.

    I find myself being able to concentrate better, avoid distraction and become more efficient in everything I do. My work completion has increased too! I find myself more peaceful these days with constant meditation. Hey, I've started praying again too!

    Felt emotionally void, as I don't have anyone to rewire with lately. :( Maira is far away from me, Vanesa is also far (although she keeps on sending me hints). I felt very mechanical with my life. It was like I wake up, go to work, go back and train boxing. There's this girl who really likes me back then, Diana. She's definitely a hugger, as she doesn't mind me hugging her anywhere, anytime. Maybe, just maybe, I should get in touch with Diana again and rewire with her.

    Fuck, I'd give anything to have my innate sexual desire back and go hard for any girl that wants me to fuck them! I now regret all those years of PMO which took my life away, and my manhood away.

    If I could go back to when I started PMO'ing, I'd beat the shit out of my 14-year old self for being so attracted to porn! It's a vice that is meant to break us all, and severe ties between humanity.

    Fuck porn, and fuck myself for being an addict to it. If only I wasn't addicted to it, I wouldn't have PIED and ED.
     
  7. When are you going to see Maira? She seems as a perfect opportunity to rewire. You should tell her that you don't look at her as other girls, that she is a dating material and you would like to take things with her slowly to another level( that it is not just about sex bla bla, that you want to get to know her as a person) . That will take pressure off your shoulders and it will not be expected of you to perform but to actually be an affectionate boyfriend.
     
  8. Nazzy6283

    Nazzy6283 New Member

    Day 1

    I fucking relapsed. Fuck! Had phone sex with Maira last night, and I masturbated while on the phone with her.

    I do not know why, my penis was just so fucking hard when we were talking, I don't recall it being as hard as that before. It was electrifying!

    Maira was so horny that she talked about things that she wanna do to me.
    I told her I was so hard and I wanted her to stop talking about it.

    She told me that she wants me to cum while I was thinking about her. She wanted it so bad because I couldn't get it up the last time.

    I felt bad and started to masturbate. She did everything to make me even more hard, and I finally came after 5 minutes.

    There was just so much cum. Felt so good but I was filled with regret for killing my streak of 39 days.

    Woke up the next morning with a strong morning wood. Felt good but then I realised that my penis has shrivelled for the whole day.

    I felt as if my penis was non-existent and I can only use it to pee. It got so shrivelled that I can't see it when I pee.

    At least now I know I don't have PIED anymore after the reboot, as I can easily get hard to Maira's voice and by touch itself. PE or PA might still be a concern.

    Fuck! Am I going into another state of Flatline? This is the worst feeling ever! :( :(
     
  9. Dude chill the fuck down. It's not a classical relapse with porn or binge. Thousands of normal men do phonesex with their gfs. I've got some feeling that people on this site are going crazy with that attitude "Hands on your cock reset the clock , nocturnal emission continue on your mission". You can't live as a fucking nun. Don't let your mind play tricks on you. If I were you I wouldn't start counting again just continue from day 40.

    Btw I wouldn't agree about PIED. I have had massive boners with girl on Skype but when it came to real deal I simply didn't function well. For me the end of PIED is when you can get it up and keep an erection with the girl in real life situation. That's the whole point of it....
    The good thing about it is that you now know that you can achieve an erection and that there is nothing wrong with you physically.
    The next step for you is to rewire your brain to real life situations and to real girls. We can all hope that once we do it that our libido for real girls will be as strong as it was back then for porns...
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2017
  10. Nazzy6283

    Nazzy6283 New Member

    @therealgilgalad

    Sorry bout the nervous breakdown dude. I guess I gotta take a chill pill sometimes with the relapse. I'd agree with you and continue with Day 40, but I'll prefer to start over again with hard mode reboot. It makes it easier for me to track my recovery progress.

    Agreed completely that I can consider my PIED is recovered if I can continue to have successful sex. I guess I can't be too confident yet! Thanks so much for the support bro, felt better when I read your message.

    I hope that day will come, one day where this will be over for us. :)
     
  11. Nazzy6283

    Nazzy6283 New Member

    Day 2

    Pretty chilled with how things are going. Nothing special happening besides me being very occupied with work, that I don't even have time to think about PMO at all.

    Woke up with 30-40% morning erection. Probably due to me having insufficient sleep (2-4 hours). However, I kept on getting constant erection when I'm on the phone with Maira. Her voice makes me feel so horny. Sometimes I'd imagine myself being fully recovered and making passionate love to her.

    Had a long chat with Maira yesterday, she was subtly joking about my PIED/PE during the call. I laughed along to it, but fuck it, deep down inside I felt so dehumanised of my masculinity and humiliated. I've yet to tell her about what PIED/PE is all about, and how I'm suffering from it. Maybe, just maybe if I tell her, she'd be more understanding and she'd know that I feel so hurtful in the state I am in right now.

    I wonder if I should? Hmm.
     
  12. Wow, a tricky question indeed.

    If she doesn't have connection with your other friends you can tell her but if she does they will all eventually know so I wouldn't do it in that case. Think about it, are you ready to be vulnerable and naked to the skin in front of other person ? If you're comfortable with the idea maybe telling her will be beneficial for your recovery.
    Personally I wouldn't do it. Just tell her you want to take things slow (it's bit tricky cuz its assumed that boys should be horny and ready in a second and always willing). If you work in downstairs department while cuddling just proceed to another level, if you don't you have an explanation that you wanted to take things slow.
    When are you going to see her?

    Btw if you're already counting, count PMO and MO in two different categories. It's not like you did those 39 days for nothing.
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2017
  13. Nazzy6283

    Nazzy6283 New Member

    @therealgilgalad

    For the time being, Maira doesn't have any mutual friends with me. She is not from my social circle (university friends, colleagues at office, childhood friends and etc). I came to know her when I was at a shopping mall nearby my house and she was working there.

    I've always wanted to be open with her and share with her what I've been going through. I'd like to be absolutely honest with her, telling that I'm recovering from PIED/PE and wanna take things slow with her. But I just do not know how to do it. Any advice? I'll be seeing her in February maybe.

    Okay I'll take your advice for it. I'll count PMO and MO in two separate categories. I'll start my tracking again with 41 days of no PMO and 2 days of no MO. Can you teach me how I can create a tracking signature like yours, please? It'll be easier for me to keep track of my rebooting progress.
     
  14. Ok, she seems to stick around even though you failed to perform with her.
    There can be two reasons for that. You should be honest to yourself about this.
    • She genuinely likes you (In that case she'll be supportive)
    • She is into your bank account, lifestyle,status (In that case she'll not give a fuck as long as you provide)
    You said that you're really successful and from the post above I can conclude that she works as a retailer or so. I'm maybe wrong but from the info above I concluded that. I hope it will not come as an offence to you.

    In conclusion, if you feel that it will be easier to you if you say what's bothering you then say it. There's no risk at all to be embarrassing in front of people you hang out on daily basis. My advice would be to actually not say anything at the beginning and if your dick functions properly keep quiet, if not then explain your situation and hope that she'll be supportive. The worse case scenario would be that she becomes bitchy about it and leave you or stop talking to you. At the end, who the fuck cares, at least you'll know where you're at..... There are plenty fish in the sea for a young successful person.

    I've sent you "signature- PMO counter" question in PM, so your journal doesn't contain too much unnecessary junk.
     
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  15. Nazzy6283

    Nazzy6283 New Member

    @therealgilgalad

    I think she's genuinely into me, because she doesn't want me to pamper her with stuffs. We had a big fight few weeks after my PIED/ED with her, I asked her to leave me but she can't because she said she love me so much. To clarify, Maira's quite successful herself, she's an engineer to-be (she's graduating engineering school).

    I'm gonna agree with you on this one. It's a blessing that I'm in a long-distance relationship with her. I'll just reboot and rewire slowly with her till my PIED/ED is cured. If she really loves me, she'll be patient with me. If not, life goes on.

    Thanks! I'll check it out and create my own signature. Congratulations on your 100 days btw bro!
     
  16. Nazzy6283

    Nazzy6283 New Member

    Day 43

    Woke up with a 100% morning wood. Is this progress? Maybe.

    I spent the whole day going out with a friend that I've used to know back then in University. Her name is Stacy (a year older than me). She suddenly texted me and invited me out, I thought why not.

    Damn I've never actually gone out with her before, but she is hottttt. You know cute petite girl with a dollface? Yeah, that's Stacy! We went out to watch live bands performance together and chilled at rooftops after a late lunch. She smokes tons of cigarettes but I don't mind because she's cute. We kinda spent the evening cuddling while talking to each other and watching the sunsets. Odd enough, I didn't get a full erection but I felt something funny at my penis.

    Stacy kinda wants to see me again. I guess Stacy would be the perfect girl for me to rewire while Maira is away. She kept on texting me and asking me to take her out again. I wouldn't mind. She's an awesome person to be with. She had the perfect smile and the cutest grin.

    Come night time, I talked to Maira and she started getting sexual again. She wanted to have phone sex again but I chose not to (despite me having a full 100% erection). I need to control myself and not ejaculate too much, as it would affect my reboot and send me into a severe flatline.

    I can't wait to recover and and satisty Maira's sexual desire. Just in case, I'll pop a half pill of Xydiena (a form of viagra) to have sex with her, if needs be.

    I'm optimistic for my recovery during my reboot/rewiring! :)

     
  17. TheLongWalk

    TheLongWalk Member

    Sounds like you're in a good place! Keep up the good work and the effort will pay off!
     
    Nazzy6283 likes this.
  18. Xeroide

    Xeroide New Member

    السلام عليكم... لنكن عونا للاخر الى الافضل!
    i am a muay thai fighter my self, went professional some time back.. now i am overweight and cant do a routine properly... lets stick together, both concerning this shit and training , etc.. i am quitting smoking too.

    lets make a pact ...... ossu!
     
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  19. Nazzy6283

    Nazzy6283 New Member

    @TheLongWalk

    Thanks man! I saw your journal and I was very impressed that you get to 200+ days without PMO. That's a milestone right there!

    I hope your good effort will pay off for you in the long run too!

    @Xeroide

    Waalaikumsalam brother! From a Muay Thai fighter to another Muay Thai fighter, let's get our life back too!

    Porn has taken away our lives, our manhood and our ability to be happy. It's dehumanising.

    Awesome, we'll make a pact and support each other. Ossu!
     
  20. Nazzy6283

    Nazzy6283 New Member

    Day 44

    Had an exhausting day at work and went back early, which was unusual because I'm always staying back at the office doing work (simply no life).

    Later that night, I went out with Stacy. We went to have sisha at a local restaurant at 9.30 pm. It was an amazing night, as we cuddled together till 2 am and we had lotsa fun and laughed a lot together. I don't recall when was the last time I was this intimate with a girl. I did not get spontaneous boner but I felt good, because I felt more appreciative towards Stacy's beauty. Her charm. Her eyes that glimmers brightly when she smiles.

    I could tell that Stacy was into me, because we end up being really close to each other last night. We went from treating each other like friends, till cuddling and touching each others as if a lover's first time. In fact, saying goodbye was hard as she would just find excuses to continue hanging out with me.

    I woke up to a wet dream the next day. Odd enough, I dreamt of having sex with my 3rd gf Nisa. Even more odd, after waking up with a wet dream, I had a full hard-on erection (like 100%) for quite some time. I had to calm myself down because the erection was so strong.

    Could it be that last night's cuddling with Stacy has somehow rewired my brain a bit? I hope so.

    I hope to see Stacy again. Who knows, she might be the perfect girl for me to rewire while Maira's away.

    On another note, Vanesa would like to see me this Saturday night.

    Things are going great. I hope.
     

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