Is this PIED? Help with ED!

Discussion in 'Erectile Dysfunction / Delayed Ejaculation' started by SeekingBetter, Sep 15, 2013.

  1. SeekingBetter

    SeekingBetter New Member

    Hi
    I am 34 and am a virgin, but not for lack of trying - I've never been able to get an erection hard and long enough to sustain an intercourse. My girlfriend is understanding but I know it is unfair on her. As soon as I try to insert, I lose the erection. And find it hard to get back.
    1. I used to do prone masturbation from the age of 14 or so till 26. After that, I have masturbated the regular way though.
    2. I was totally addicted to porn (seeing videos and reading erotica) from around 26-32 where I used to do it almost daily. I have mostly stopped it for the past two years.

    At this point, I get hard and can easily masturbate to porn and when I am with my girlfriend too. (I guess I don't need hardness to last for masturbating)
    But every time we try to have sex, I lose my erection after 30 seconds or so and have a lot of trouble getting it up again. And I lose the stimulation in my mind and the excitement as well.
    I am not overweight, I don't smoke or drink and am otherwise normal. I get occasional morning erections (once or twice a week)

    Would this be an indication of PIED? Would I have done some physical damage to the nerves etc by proning (though I haven't done it in years)?

    Would really appreciate any tips, I badly want to become normal. (Sorry if my post was a bit too graphic.)
    Thanks!
     
  2. xstar

    xstar New Member

    Frankly, I think it's impossible to know if porn is playing a role unless you simply cut out porn 100% (including masturbating to any fantasy) and see if your ED improves. It might not go away after 30-60 days of no porn, but if it gets better, then you can be pretty sure it plays a role and it's worth cutting out porn permanently to see if that helps.

    Cutting out porn is free so if you have any suspicion at all that porn might be a problem, you should stop watching it and see how it impacts you. If you're not addicted or if you haven't made it a critical component of your sexual functioning, then cutting it out will be easy. If it's difficult to stop watching porn, then you know you have some issues with it.

    BTW, though I never used prone masturbation, I can pass on to you, based on discussions with my urologist, that the chance of permanent nerve damage from prone masturbation is essentially zero.
     
  3. SeekingBetter

    SeekingBetter New Member

    Thanks xstar for the reply.
    I have totally cut out porn (viewing and reading) - no issues with that. Hopefully, I can get better erections, though the lack of morning erections is still concerning (shouldn't I get it daily?)
    And thanks for the info on prone masturbation, that is one worry less.

    I am going to watch for a month and then consult a urologist - maybe it is some other physical issue causing this.
    I have another dumb question - I have a long foreskin, do I need to fully pull it back and expose the head (glans) before attempting insertion? (The head feels very sensitive when it touches the vagina and the erection dies down)
     
  4. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    Do you masturbate with the head exposed or roll the forskin up and back? If its the latter I used to do it as well and found it was to sensative and blowjobs were really uncomfortable and almost hurt
     
  5. xstar

    xstar New Member

    WRT porn, you said:

    but then

    Which leaves me a little confused. Porn is the issue...if you have PIED, there is no safe level of porn. View it as binary: either you're watching porn or you're not. There's no such thing as "mostly stopped."

    Given that I wasted thousands of dollars on tests, doctors, ED meds, etc., before I found YBOP, I'd recommend that you follow the course you've implied: no PMO and see how it goes. If you do no PMO perfectly for a month, I'd expect you to see changes. But it can take longer than that...much longer...to get past this.

    If things don't improve over whatever period of time you choose, then see a urologist (skip the GP...you'll just be spinning wheels...and even the urologist will almost always be a waste of time. Unless you have some obvious health issue (e.g. obesity, drug use/interaction, high blood pressure), there isn't much a urologist can do but shrug his shoulders and prescribe ED meds...I sought out one of the top ranked urologists in the Bay Area--active, well known, highly published--and I basically got "you're healthy, not obese, your T is good enough, your blood pressure is fine, no sign of cardiovascular issues...there's nothing obvious and nothing we can do...here, have some Cialis and take double the max dose").

    Others might suggest seeing a urologist first and there's no argument against that except that odds are you'll spend money and he won't be able to help you.

    Also, look up user Gabe and read a bunch of his posts. I did that yesterday and it was great stuff.

    Best of luck!
     
  6. SeekingBetter

    SeekingBetter New Member

    Thanks guys. Appreciate the replies.
    @gameover I masturbate with the foreskin going up and down since the foreskin is too tight, but I try to pull it back a bit before attempting sex.
    Since the head is super sensitive as soon as it touches the vagina making it hard to maintain the erection, should I just push it in with the foreskin covering the head? Or is the right way to do it is to expose the head first by fully pulling back the foreskin and then push it in?

    @xstar
    I used to view a lot earlier, but recently, I've been reading erotica (is that also part of PIED?) and watching videos around once in 2 weeks.
    From this week onward, I am cutting that out as well. Made a hard decision to completely stop everything.
    And thanks a bunch for the update on what the urologists typically suggest - I too am healthy, not obese, no BP issues.

    Is it possible I have venous leak causing blood to not stay in? I am trying to eliminate the causes, can something have caused a venous leak issue?

    The fact that having sex, something that billions do naturally every day, is such a monumentally difficult task for me is just depressing. Hopefully, I can get it set right soon.
     
  7. xstar

    xstar New Member

    Gary (YBOP) basically says anything you seek out for sexual arousal, other than a real partner, will hinder your PIED recovery. That includes erotica, photos, video, and fantasy. Even clothed or "soft" photos, if used as you've used porn, is a problem.

    And actually I think it's worse than just that. I had a great run a year ago but then let myself view photos of attractive but fully clothed ladies. I figured it can't hurt and it was fun. That led to bikini shots. Then lingerie. Then see through. Then topless. Then fully nude. Then hard core. Ugh. As I mentioned in another post, somewhere in there I started occasional fapping to this stuff. I'd get back on the horse....then fall off again...always starting with the most innocent stimulation.

    So, not only are any of these digital/2D items bad for your basic reboot, they can start you down the path toward "real" porn.

    I've come to view this as black and white: either I'm trying to get sexually aroused using input other than my real life partner or I am not. If I am, then I'm not doing myself any favors.

    It took me a while to get to that point--it sounds as if you're ahead of the game by recognizing early on that you need to cut out everything.

    RE: venous leak, I discussed that with my urologist. He said he could test for it but ( 1 ) the test is uncomfortable and expensive; ( 2 ) if I do have a venous leak, he would be very slow to recommend surgery because of the difficulty and limited number of excellent outcomes--so you're testing for something and usually can't use the data for anything useful; and ( 3 ) it is uncommon especially in younger guys (...in this case I'm considered younger even though I'm late forties). In addition, if you are getting morning wood and/or nocturnal erections, then the chance of leakage being the cause of ED is slim.

    At the time, I would very infrequently get morning wood, so for a while I thought leakage might be my problem. But after hitting no PMO hard and perfectly for just a few weeks, my morning wood starting coming back. After a couple of no-relapse months last year, I had wood the vast majority of mornings.

    I also thought I might have damage due to physical trauma. Because of some sports activities I've been involved in, I've taken numerous hard and painful hits to the groin. He dismissed that as a possibility saying the type of trauma I would have had to incur would be the type that would send me to the ER with an extended stay in the hospital....not just the occasional hit to the family jewels even if it's hard enough to take me out of the game.

    Obviously, all of this is anecdotal and based on my specific issues. My main point: the chance of porn and your fapping habits being the problem seems infinitely greater than some of these other things.
     
  8. fugu

    fugu "You know, feelin' good, livin' betta." :) Staff Member

    xstar has provided some really great answers here! I think cutting everything out might solve this dilemma for you. Be patient and avoid orgasms for the beginning stint of this. Spend lots of time rewiring with your girlfriend, too. :)

    It doesn't hurt to go to the doctor to get checked, too.
     
  9. SeekingBetter

    SeekingBetter New Member

    Thanks for your replies.
    @xstar That is really important information. I realize now I have had two problems - one was the addiction to porn and preference over a real woman. And the second was, I have been stuck in 'masturbation mode' where instead of wanting to have sex with my partner, I've just been wanting to masturbate with her help.
    I have now completely cut off all kinds of stimulation and don't even pause to look at suggestive photos on paper or the net.
    I am still trying to cure #2, trying to have sex as the norm. My partner is super understanding, am hoping for my erection to stay strong enough. I do seem to notice improvement in the recent weeks, but my refractory period is too high. Almost 2 days.
    I am not sure how to fix it, but I have started meditating every day to make sure my mind is calm. (I am like ADD, always distracted, maybe that is an issue)

    Your post gives me confidence it is nothing physical, I will keep at it. And thanks fugu too!~
     
  10. chizzleman

    chizzleman New Member

    I was looking to post something related to this thread, so I thought I'd add here. I'm curious if anyone thinks or knows that stress can add to these problems. I don't feel as I was every addicted to porn. In fact, I stopped looking about a week before I found YBOP. I haven't considered and won't go back ever. However, do to these issues I'm having (can't nail my unbelievably slamming and innocent gf) and other entrepreneurial/financial issues, I've been extremely stressed out. By some light googling, it seemed this could lead to ED issues. I even had successful sex with my gf ~6 weeks ago after a lot of drinking, but not since. I have had some incidental orgasms from her though (i'm trying to do no orgasms at all until I'm ready now...)

    Anyways SeekeringBetter, this had be curious; you mention your gf is very demanding for you to be very hard for her. I'm sure you are too. But due to this, and since you are trying to recover, I wonder if this is causing stress for you in possibly depressing yourself a bit. My gf is very supportive of what is going on. I haven't told her its PIED, but I know she suspects its ED, which is embarrassing in of itself; I told her I just am stressed and and have things I need to workout. She is very re-assuring saying she is here for me and she knows things will work out. If you're like I am, you still get down on yourself because you want to please her. Do you think her expectations/demands are causing you to be stressed or have performance anxiety?
     

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