I think my dad is looking at porn - what should I do?

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by Monkey, Feb 6, 2013.

  1. Monkey

    Monkey Everyday is a success.

    To help make sure I stuck to my goal, I put up OpenDNS on the router to block sites that contained porn and nudity. I've been using it for a few days and logged in to check on a few things. However, I found something that didn't make any sense. There were blocked visits to attempted porn sites in the last few days. I know these were not from me as I didn't try to visit any. Both of my parents live at home, and sometimes my sister is here. I don't think it was my mom or sister because they both have smartphones, and could easily bypass the firewall. The wifi is locked, so unless someone was able to get in, there is no reason to believe it would be anyone else. That means, it most likely would be my dad.

    What should I do? I was in disbelief but I checked again and the attempted sites has grown. Should I disable the filter? He and I are the only ones who know how to change the wifi settings. So he may already know I put up the firewall. But that also means he knows how to turn it off, but he hasn't done this yet. Any suggestions? I am totally lost here.
     
  2. The Painkiller

    The Painkiller New Member

    Err. Try to ask him about it and show him YBOP if you want him to quit.
     
  3. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    Most men watch porn.
     
  4. breakingfree

    breakingfree Guest

    Disable the filter and pretend like nothing ever happened. This situation could turn out really awkward if you don't. People have their problems and with an issue this damn sensitive you're better off fixing your own P addiction for now. Until then, don't tell others they should quit unless you yourself are a success story (100+ days)

    Instead of blocking sites, just get off the computer and only use it when you need it, like for school/work. Otherwise, just don't use the computer. Real recovery happens inside your own head, not by blocking sites.

    Seriously, things could get awkward if you don't unblock and pretend nothing happened. You can reveal your situation and maybe confront him if you go 100+ days.
     
  5. jimmyx0331

    jimmyx0331 New Member

    Honestly, it depends on what type of relationship you have with your father. If you guys are close enough for him to be receptive to you about your inquiry, by all means, confront him. If it is just going to be awkward then steer clear of it. I wouldn't remove the block in any case however, if he wants to bypass it let him do it on his own. Hope it works out! Stay in it to win it no matter what.
     
  6. Temple_of_peace

    Temple_of_peace New Member

    Man, it is a good situation to start talking to your father about your reboot, shut down the filter and let him enter the sites, after this you will see what kind of porn was watched, you will tell your father that while checking your history you found porn sites, then you will easily catch him, you can catch someone when he is lieing. Besides you will see what kind of porn was accesed, and you'll figure it out who did it from your familly. Until it's not late save the situation, if it is your dad, it will be harder for him to reboot being in a relation with your mom:
    1. He would have to tell your mom about the reboot, wich is not so easy to explain you were watching naked women and so on.
    2. For faster results and better, he would have to be cold turkey for this period.
    You were already in this situation, don't let others be in this shit, especialy your familly.
    Cheers bro, I hope I was not hard.
     
  7. Tahru1990

    Tahru1990 New Member

    As said 'most men watch porn' its part of normal life now for many. Just because one watches porn does not mean it will be an issue. I denends on many factors. Dont feel like he is cheating on your mum because he is not and i dont think you should bring this up with him. Its a tricky one but if your parents start having issues maybe you could address this.
     
  8. Monkey

    Monkey Everyday is a success.

    Thanks for the advice guys! I admit I wasn't sure what to do at first, but now I know what I am going to do. I'll just turn off the filter. I won't ask him about it because it really isn't any of my business, plus it would be really awkward. I also wouldn't want to force someone out of it when they aren't wont be aware of resources such as YBOP and this site to help them along the way. I think it should be their decision to stop. After knowing how badly porn can affect you, I wouldn't want anyone else in my family doing. However, I think in this instance, playing it safe is best.
     
  9. DGP

    DGP New Member

    Does it give you any option to filter out just your MAC address? Leaving your dad's device(s) clear.
     
  10. Laurynas

    Laurynas 300 Days+ Experienced.

    If you use the same PC - I'd just leave YBOP open. Or through options would make it home page.

    He'll probably read some of it and either think it's bullshit or keep on reading and perhaps ask you what's up with this site and you'll have a shot at explaining him.

    This decision could be a life (dick) saver.
     
  11. Shaman

    Shaman New Member

    That would be too obvious...and they are likely using different computers.

    What he could do is make note of the sites his dad is trying to access, and then sneak into his computer and edit the hosts file to redirect said porn sites to YBOP. *evil grin*
     
  12. Stopper

    Stopper IT'S OVER!!!

    My question is, how and where can I find the feature you're describing where I can see which blocked sites have been attempted for visit the past few days? I use opendns but have never seen this yet.
     
  13. fuzzy_dunlop

    fuzzy_dunlop New Member

    Could be worse. He could be looking at gay porn like my dad. :-\
     
  14. jimmyx0331

    jimmyx0331 New Member

    Just a very complex situation. I hope that it works out for you.
     
  15. evgtrees

    evgtrees New Member

    leave him alone. its his fucking life. he is a grown up man. if he wants to bust his balls, although he gets to have your mom every night, then its his choice.
     
  16. Shaman

    Shaman New Member

    There you go again...thinking that any guy who has a real female to have sex with automatically shouldn't need to watch porn. I thought you had learned better by now.
     
  17. CitizenErased

    CitizenErased Age:21

    i think this is the best idea. or perhaps when he tries to acess porn it takes him to YBOP instead...

    or have a "family meeting" about your reboot, then he might look into it....

    it's just advice, you do whatever you wan't
     
  18. Monkey

    Monkey Everyday is a success.

    @DGP: Good idea, but it does not. I will keep an eye out for other filters that allow this and see if I can come up with anything. Maybe some DIY trick would work?

    Yes, we are on different computers. But I could leave the webpage up on his computer.

    And as I said above, I am playing the not-interfering card. I believe that at this time it's the best thing to do.

    @Stopper: Go to https://dashboard.opendns.com/stats/all/start/ (login first) then go to Blocked Domains, and edit the date settings as you wish. Pretty straightforward.

    @wantabetterlife: As I said earlier, I've decided not to do anything at this point. It's not really my business. And thank you very much for putting that image in my head now.

    @CitizenErased: Never told anyone I personally know (besides friends) I look at porn, and I don't ever intent to. That would be a good idea though, just not for me.
     
  19. TylerDurden

    TylerDurden New Member

    LOL this doesn't mean your dad has to do a reboot. I'd just ignore it and let him disable the firewall on his own. If he's looking at really fucked up shit, you could confront him about it "I think the neighbours are using our WiFi, they keep looking at fucked up porn...".

    ....


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    ;)
     
  20. evgtrees

    evgtrees New Member

    I see, its the novelty right? His woman got too boring for him. Maybe he can try to spice up their sex life, or do something fun with her. Restart everything from the beginning. I undersatnd that sometimes its hard not to get frustrated and have sex whenever you want, and PMO gives you an easy outlet. Thats what the problem lies.
     

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