HSIP 101, A Beginners Guide to High Speed Internet Porn

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by WilliamOneAndDone, Nov 28, 2017.

  1. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

    I was asked to give my thoughts on a college paper involving HSIP (high speed internet porn), and thought a newbie might find it educational.

    Ok, start rhetorically, what new technology was invented, and has become widely disseminated, over the last 15 years, and, especially, in industrialized, western, countries? Answer, High Speed Internet Porn.

    Important for your professor to note that "porn addiction", which is actually porn induced dopamine addiction, has only come into existence, and made possible, with the invention and dissemination of High Speed Internet Porn. You have to make the distinction between porn that existed before HSIP and porn that exists since its invention, as in currently.

    Porn addiction is an addiction we, the species, invented. We did not know it at the time, but when we invented HSIP, we invented a way of getting a prolonged and powerful dopamine high.

    I would frame it in terms of brain mechanics. You are going to want to demystify how it works.

    So, you need to explain a bit of evolution to your prof. It goes something like this. The human brain evolved so that thoughts of sex, not actual sex, but thoughts of sex alone, receives (among other things) a dopamine reward. The neurotransmitter, dopamine, is released in response to many things. It motivates human conduct in multiple ways. But, one of the most important ways is: it motivates us to reproduce. A dopamine high, by the way, feels totally great, we love it, it feels euphoric, which is why it is so addictive.

    Reproduction is an imperative for the species. The most successful species on the planet all have something in common: They make a lot of copies of themselves via reproduction. No, it turns out that rewarding sexual thoughts, which often leads to sex, and thus reproduction, is a very efficient way of making us want to do all that baby making.

    A long time ago, over 1 million years, our ancestors, and the ancestors of all mammals, developed the dopamine reaction to sexual thoughts, and it worked. It is accurate to say we like sex, but it is, actually more accurate to say we like the thought of sex. It is the thought of sex that releases dopamine, resulting in that euphoric feeling. That process, by the way, is why sex is everywhere in advertising. Advertisers, well before the dopamine response to sexual thought had been studied, understood that a sexual picture results in a sexual thought, and those thoughts fascinate us, get our attention, and get us to look at whatever product they have sexualized, and are selling. Think about it. We have sexualized products that have absolutely no sexual component, but are sexualized only because, if we see them, we have a sexual thought, and the image becomes very interesting to us. That is all because of the dopamine response to sexual thoughts.

    A great example: cheerleaders. Cheerleaders are, essentially, strippers light (sorry if any cheerleaders are reading this. I love strippers. Just kidding, well, I do love them, but, because I have rebooted, I have not been to a strip club in years).

    Think of the NFL and the NBA, think of those sports in college. A big part of the show are cute women, packed into as few clothes as possible, dancing and smiling in provocative ways. We like them, but why do we like them? We like them because our brains evolved to produce a dopamine response to sexual imagery, and we like that feeling of a dopamine response.

    So, back to the invention of HSIP. Before HSIP, there were no porn addicts. You can Google "the first reported case of porn addiction", and you will see that, prior to 2011, which is when HSIP really became widely disbursed, it simply was not talked about. Again, important for your professor to understand. Porn, simple porn, your father's porn, Playboy, Hustler, Penthouse, even VHS, is not addictive. For a person inclined to love a dopamine high, well, they liked those vehicles a lot, but there were no reported cases of becoming addicted to them.

    So, when, around 2011, various treatises start to explore porn addiction, they really aren't exploring porn addiction; they are exploring High Speed Internet Addiction. It is only with the invention of that technology that porn became addiction. Before that, porn still caused a sexual thought, and that sexual thought still resulted in a dopamine reaction, that we liked, we being the species, but we were limited in our ability to see new images.

    This is where concepts like sensitization and desensitization come into play.

    Here is a good example of desensitization. We like a dopamine rush; it feels good to us. Let's go back to the mid eighties. You cut a Playboy centerfold out, and hang it on your wall, and you really, really like it (meaning you like that dopamine rush). You may like her hair, her smile, her pose, various body parts, but, what you are really liking is the dopamine hit you are getting from the sexual thought you are having. That centerfold is fascinating and amazing, on day one. Day 2-10, still pretty fascinating, but by, maybe, day 30, not so much, and, maybe, by day 60, you don't even bother to look at it anymore. Why not? It is because the human brain desensitizes to the same sexual thought, over time. This is the same for all porn, except High Speed Internet Porn, because HSIP offers something that centerfold cannot: It offers constant, infinite, novelty. Instead of one centerfold, you can see thousands, if you wish, in one day, you can see infinite sexual activity, in one day, and that is true now, and for the rest of your life. Due to the proliferation of hard core pornography on the HSI, you never have to see the same sexual image twice, you can see multiple sexual images on the same day, hundreds, thousands even, meaning you can, via HSIP achieve something that centerfold cannot and does achieve: a constant flow of novel, new, sexual images that result in constant new, novel, sexual thoughts, that can result in hours of a dopamine high, every day, for years.

    But why does a new sexual thought result in a dopamine high, but the same old one not? In my opinion, this has to do with The Coolidge Effect. So, not only did we evolve such that the dopamine reaction motivates us to reproduce, but we evolved, a long time, to want to reproduce with multiple partners. Nature figured out that monkeys who think about sex usually end up having it. That is why we get that dopamine reward when we think of sex. But, the phenomena of the Coolidge Effect indicates that, at least in our evolutionary past, it was a boon to the species to spread that DNA around.

    The Coolidge Effect, as seen in mammals, a residual, at least, of which is still in humanity, is why we like looking. You know the question: why do guys (and girls) like to look? We like to look, at each other, especially when we have sexualized ourselves, because we get a dopamine hit. But--very important--we are not content to only look at one other person for that hit. It is the same reason we like multiple images, over and over, but different ones. We look at multiple people, and get a dopamine rush from it (though not nearly as much from HSIP), because, owing to The Coolidge Effect, there is a residual instinct to breed with more than one person. In Humans, that still exists, to an extent, and when that goes beyond HSIP, and into actual sexual activity, hypersexualism and sex addiction, having multiple partners over a prolonged period, can happen. It does not happen to most of us, but it can happen.

    So, HSIP is not your father's porn. It is a new technology that developed about 6-15 years ago. Shortly after its invention the concept of "porn addiction" came into existence, but is not your father's porn, but addiction to internet porn, and, more specifically HSIP. We, humanity, invented this addiction without knowing it was possible.

    I would also let your professor know there is one species of HSIP addicts that is, slowly, vanishing: Older guys. Older guys, who had actual sex, before the invention of HSIP, are dying off. Eventually, that species of HSIP addict will no longer exist. That is a big problem for the species, the human species I mean, because it means more and more addicts are becoming addicted to HSIP before they ever experience sex. They become addicted, they develop sexual dysfunction, before they ever have an actual sexual experience, and because of that, when they have their first sexual experience, it is a failure because little Elvis won't salute. Sad day all around. From here on out, almost every new addict, is becoming addicted before they experience actual sex. Those guys have a horrible time quitting, because, unlike the older generation, who had some brain reward pathways associated with a dopamine response to actual sex, the only thing the new generations associate with a dopamine response is HSIP, so, going back to actual sex is like learning to drink water, when for the years prior, all they had to drink were Coke floats with a shot of bourbon. You see, the dopamine highs we can give ourselves via HSIP far exceeds, in duration, and in power, the ones we can obtain via actual sex. No matter how much you like actual sex, you are not going to be having it, with multiple women, multiple times a day, every day for years, and thereby obtaining a dopamine high. Unlike HSIP, with which you CAN obtain that dopamine high, daily, for hours, for years, sex is finite. This is one of the reasons why quitting the addiction is difficult. We have evolved to love that dopamine high, and giving up that thing we love so much we have become addicted to it, means living in a reality with a much lessened dopamine euphoria.

    I think I have explained the brain mechanics of how HSIP can exist for an individual.

    The effects on the individual are always, only, negative. There is no positive good from the addiction. The addiction is a bit less damaging that drug or alcohol addiction, or nicotine addiction. No one has ever overdosed from HSIP, and though many do withdraw when giving it up, porn addiction withrdawals only feel like dying; no one has actually died from giving it up. I think the main, negative, effect on the individual is social. Once we sensitize to HSIP, there is really nothing in our reality that competes with it to achieve a dopamine high. This means, the things that would otherwise interest us, things we might have really enjoyed in the past, such as relationships and sex, become less interesting to us. This is because as we sensitize to HSIP, we desensitize to reality. Eventually, guys who are addicted will become so desensitized to reality develop physical symptoms of sexual dysfunction, such as PIED and anorgasmia. It is a sad day for a porn addict when he realizes he cannot get it up to have sex with his girlfriend, but can only get hard with HSIP. SUUUUUCCCCKKKKKSS. But it happens. We lose a lot of time, and we diminish our relationships with others. For many, HSIP becomes their best, sometimes only friend. No matter how bad your reality is, HSIP is always there to lose yourself, and your problems, in. It becomes a surrogate friend.

    How far reaching is it. It is still early days in the HSIP epidemic. Very early days. We evolve slowly. We have been in the receiving end of HSIP for only 6-15 years. The addiction is possible, and exists, only where the technology allows it to exist. We only, recently, invented HSIP, and thus, only, recently, created the addiction, but had we invented HSIP 100 years ago, then porn addiction would be 100 year old now. HSIP is here to stay. It will exist as long as humanity exists, as long as the technology exists, and wherever the technology exists. It is so bad that in some developed countries, some men and women no longer care if it is addictive, they have chosen it over reality. In Japan, for instance, HSIP has become accepted as a lifestyle for some, who consciously choose to engage in P over dating. Another homework assignment for you is Googling "Japan herbivores." This group of people who does not want actual sex came into existence roughly the same time as HSIP came into existence. HSIP addiction, or just good, plain, healthy living?

    HSIP addiction is here to stay. Unless we evolve to not obtain a dopamine high from sexual thoughts--which won't happen--HSIP addiction will be with humanity, forever. It is time we start teaching our kids about it, the way we teach about drugs. I learned about drugs in school. I chose not to use them, knowing addiction was possible. Some choose to use them anyway, but, at least through education, some choose not to. It is the opposite with kids currently. As soon as they have access to the internet, most are downloading via HSIP. Once they are doing that, and are simultaneously, in their peer group, school, they are sharing images, back and forth, totally unaware they are using those images and that tech to give themselves a dopamine high that can become addictive. The brain mechanics of this is simply never taught. It should be, and in the future, it will be.

    Those are your thoughts for the day. Write back if need more. I got more where that came from.

    Will I AM.
     
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  2. Immature

    Immature Member

    Smart Phones.

    Therefore, smart phones cause ED.

    Just kidding! :D
     
  3. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/garys-tedx-talk-great-porn-experiment

    We have to start at the beginning. No one has ever been addicted to porn. Porn is just the button we push to get a dopamine high. Take time, block time, to study, and understand the problem. We cannot fix the problem unless we understand the problem. Watch the Wilson vid. Watch it again. Make notes. Watch it again. We need to understand what we are fighting. Until then, we are just boxing in the dark. I want to see everyone here take off their chains. Let's light this place up, again.
     
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  4. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

    Hi.

    The first and foremost thought you have to have, if you are a newbie porn addict who is here to quit, is that you are quitting--yes, I said quit, say it out loud, now, say it: QUIT. If you are here for any other reason than to quit, much love, but move on. This place is only for quitters. Yeah I said it out loud. If you stay here you are a quitter. What are you quitting? If you stay here, you are quitting porn addiction. If you love it so much you cannot let it go, or cannot conceive of living without it, good luck to you in your future addiction, but, please leave. If you are not ready to leave porn addiction, as a lifestyle, fine, OK; it is not nuclear war, it is not zombie apocalypse, it is not sugar free soda...ugh. If you are not ready to leave porn addiction, it does not make you an ax murderer, or a child abuser. A porn addict is not the worst thing to be in the world. For the most part, you have done it to yourself. You have put on your own chains. You wanna wear them, wear them. But, if you are not here to kill it, murder it, obliterate it, destroy it, annihilate it, wipe it out, eliminate it, Bind Torture and Kill it (cereal killer reference: I hate Rice Crispies). If you are not here to totally eradicate porn addiction from your life, if you are here to control it, but keep it in your life, this place is not for you. You see my friend, if you are a porn addict and you want to get free, you are going to have to have a change of life, a change of mind. If you are a porn addict, and you are going to get free, this is the end. You are going to have to meet me at the back of the blue bus.

    https://www.bing.com/videos/search?...C87DA71A70C997F4AEA0C87DA71A70C997F&FORM=VIRE

    OK. If you are still here, you are serious about quitting. If you are not serious about quitting, you will not quit. If you are not serious about quitting, you will continue to use. Even if you are serious, you can fail, but, if you are not serious, don't even start to quit, because it will not work.

    First lesson: Porn addiction is not epic, the solution to porn addiction is, therefore, not epic. You must understand what porn addiction is, and that it is a, relatively, small problem. To the extent you have done the very human thing, and wrapped your addiction up in mommy/daddy problems, problems about your place in your life, your family, the community, the world, forget all that. To the extent you have wrapped up porn addiction in some definition of yourself, as a person, the quality of your life, the morality of your life, who you are as a person, forget all that. It is helpful to think of the addiction as a creature. No, it is not, but there are mind tricks for quitting. Just like getting addicted is a mind trick, we use mind tricks to overcome it. The addiction lies. One of the many lies the addiction tells us is that it is a part of huge problems in our lives. It lies and tells us that in order to overcome the addiction, we have to fix HUGE problems in our lives. It lies to distract us, and make us think the problem is too big to be solved. Porn addiction, the addiction itself, does not want us solving it. If we solved it, we would never be free of it, and the addiction never wants us to be free, which is why it tells us it is too big to be solved. You have to talk to the addiction the same way it talks to you, and you have to tell it go fuck itself. You are going to have to be mean to it, and with it. Along the way, porn addiction becomes a blanket, security, the thing we can always use whenever things get painful in life. First porn addiction lesson: With or without porn addiction, life is always painful. There are good moments too, but living a pain free life is a myth that porn addiction whispers in your ear. Don't listen to it: It lies.

    So, what is porn addiction? We are smart monkeys. We figured out, about 10-15 years ago, we could use High Speed Internet Porn to ride a dopamine high. Dopamine--you're taking notes, right?--is one of the most powerful motivational neurotransmitters that we experience. Porn addiction happens, and only happens, in the brain. To the extent you believe there is a physical component, such as masturbation and orgasm, jettison that belief. It is a false belief. Porn addiction is about one, very small, event: Using porn to boost your sexual thoughts to achieve a dopamine high. In fact, no one has ever been addicted to porn, just like no heroine addict has been addicted to the needle. Porn is the needle we use to deliver our means to a high.

    So, you need to wrap your head around the concept: This is all in my head, between the ears, above the belt, and not even a little below it. You are using an external super stimulus to get high. The high you are getting is from a dopamine response. Your brain is literally rewarding itself for having hypersexual thoughts. The "why" behind this is simple evolution and biology. Nature figured out a long time ago that rewarding sexual thoughts, releasing a neuotransmitter the brain experiences as "pleasure", leads to sex. Sex leads to reproduction. Reproduction of the species is nature's evolved purpose for making sexual thoughts pleasurable. That pleasurable feeling is a dopamine response, a dopamine high. So, this is the small problem that you have that has NOTHING to do with any other problems you may have experienced in your past: You are using porn to get a dopamine high. That's it. Easy peasy. Once you strip away all the other bullshit you may have told yourself your porn addiction is wrapped up in, and see if for the very small, and simple, cause-and-effect brain reaction it is, solving it becomes much easier. You will not fix yourself by solving porn addiction. You will just have one less problem to fix, once you have solved it. Though, solving your other problems may be easier once you have taken off the chains of porn addiction.

    The first step in quitting any addiction is to quit using the super stimulus that results in the brain reaction. This is where accepting that not using the stimulus, to get high, as you have done daily, for years, is going to feel...bad. OK, I lied. There will be a moment, our there in your future, when you wished you only felt bad. There will be moments, in the quitting process, when feeling only "bad" is something you wish could feel. When quitting porn, our addiction punishes us. This is, literally, our dopamine soaked brain killing us for not feeding the addiction. This is withdrawals. If you are quitting, and do not have withdrawals, you are not doing it right. You cannot use, feed the addiction, get high via porn, during the quitting phase. Not even a little taste, here and there, if you are going to get really free. So, one of the things you need to do, to mentally prepare yourself for quitting, is accepting, up front, here and now, you are going to feel like you are dying. When you feel like dying, your addiction is going to tell you you can make that feeling go away, by just using again. But, if you are going to quit, you are going to have to want to quit soooo badly, that you are willing to feel like you are dying, every day, for the rest of your life, if that is what it takes. It won't take that long. However, it will for months. For many, around 3 months, they start to feel back in control, meaning they don't want it every day, they have days where they don't want it or miss it, and, by then, even if they want it, they know they do not have to have it. For the addict, quitting porn, you have to have the impossible thought: I can live without it, forever. That is a hard thought, because, fuck, it does feel good. So why quit? The only reason an addict quits is because the addiction has caused a problem in their lives. It will help to become very aware of the problem it has caused in your life. In your weak moments, remember the problem it has caused, and use that to stay clean. This is the thing no one told me when I was first quitting: You can quit it, you can solve this problem, you can take off your chains.

    See you in the back of the blue buss.

    W.

    PS: Better get a sense of humor. When you are in the reboot, at 3 AM, in the dark, terrified, feeling like you are dying, alone, afraidof the present and the future, you better figure out how to laugh at how us monkeys who invented such a new, powerful, ridiculous addiction that has us dropping trough in front of computers, for hours a day, for years. In fact, I suggest, embracing the ridiculousness of the situation, is quite helpful in quitting porn addiction. Porn addiction is not sexy at all, it is just ridiculous.

    OK. Go!
    [​IMG]
     
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  5. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

    A lot of guys, myself included in the beginning, do not understand how porn works, how if effects the brain. A lot of guys mentally emphasize PMO or MO. In realty, porn and porn alone, without PMO or MO, reinforces the addiction. I know when I first recognized I had a problem I cut way back on PMO and MO, but I kept watching porn, daily. I did not think it was a problem, I thought PMO and MO were the problem. I thought that looking at pretty girls, at sex scenes, was just what guys do. I was wrong. I had been seduced by porn. Guys, at their best, do not escape from life, they engage it. Porn is escaping from life. Life is full of victories and life is full of defeats. At their best, guys know that and are willing to experience both. What I did not understand was that porn, PMO, and MO, for a porn addict, are just buttons we push to get a dopamine fix. Then, I saw the Gary Wilson TED talk.

    https://yourbrainonporn.com/garys-tedx-talk-great-porn-experiment

    If you are interested in quitting being addicted to porn, watch the vid. If not, do not. In my opinion the above video is the bible of porn addiction, in that it explains, simply, the mechanics of porn addiction, what it is, how it is, how the addiction is formed, and until an addict understands that, they are fighting with a blindfold. Gary is a bit embarrassed by the video, because it is not nearly as academic as other videos he has made on the topic. He thinks it is too simple. However, simple is what addicts need. We don't want to be neuropsychologists, we just want to be unaddicted.

    So, the addiction, even more simply, is this: sex=dopamine reward. The dopamine reward is nature's evolved way of encouraging us to make babied, to breed, to have sex. It is there in all mammals. It has worked perfectly fine, and still does. But, around 2005-2011, humanity invented High Speed Internet Porn. We did not know it at the time, but we also, in that, invented porn addiction, which is, actually, porn-induced-dopamine addition. While we get a dopamine reward from just sexual thoughts, and while we could, and have, for as long as we can remember (as a species) been able to artificially trigger a dopamine reward from porn, High Speed Internet Porn is different. You see, porn addiction is an arousal addiction, and that means we don't need more of it to keep us on that dopamine high, we different, new, never experienced sexual thoughts to ride that dopamine high to the pointe of addiction, and HSIP allows for that. You can search the internet beginning now, every hour of every day for the rest of your life, and you never have to see the same image twice. It is that search for the never before experienced sexual thought that makes arousal addiction possible. So, it goes like this: HSIP=hypersexual thoughts, hypersexual thoughts = dopamine rush. Dopamine rush, hourly, per day, for years=porn induced dopamine addiction.

    Many addicts talk about porn being in control of them. Back when it controlled me, I planned my day around getting my fix. It was a porn lifestyle. Get up, PMO, go to work or school, find time to PMO, go back home, PMO, work out or study, PMO. Although there were times when I did not PMO multiple times a day, there were days I did, for instance, when alone, when my family had left. In the beginning of quitting, you need to plan your day around NOT getting your fix, and you need to totally avoid porn, completely. The way a porn addict controls porn is to totally delete it from their life, absolutely, completely. This is to bring your artificially high dopamine levels down, and to allow you to rewire to the thing that is most important in life........that being life. Porn is the ultimate comfort zone, the ultimate escape and detachment from life. In order to go from addicted back to normal, you are going to have to get out of your comfort zone, and that means withdrawals. As much as they totally suck--that is an understatement--embrace them for what they are, your brain rebalancing. If you are quitting porn and are feeling withdrawals, congratulations, that is you making progress, that is your brain trying to talk you into a fix, meaning you are not getting one. Good.

    Anyone reading this, I have absolute confidence you can do it. I am over four years free. I am in control of my life; porn does not control me. You can be where I, and many others, are, too. You have taken the first step, and that is being humble. Understanding you cannot control it, so don't try. Delete it.

    I hope this helps.

    Much love.

    W.
     
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  6. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

    My relationship with porn is radically different now, than it was back in 2012-2013. Back then, when I started the reboot, what we now call "the hard 90", was not a phrase being used much, if at all. There were some guys talking about how 90 days changed things, but, back then, "quitting" porn was not, actually, a defined goal, because "porn addiction" was not, actually, an accepted concept. Back then, it was more of a ha-ha game, see how long you can go without, rather than what we now know is the only way out: absolute abstinence, quitting, for life. Back then it was like a game, see how long you could hold your breath, but the concept of quitting , that one could, that one should, that one would want to, did not exist. In the beginning, when places like the reddit Reboot Nation, and Nofap started, porn use was seen as, at most, a harmless, funny, but annoying thing the members would play at avoiding for relatively short periods. Thus, the challenges, which are helpful is understood as training wheels for quitting the addiction, but are unhelpful if, at the end, the member rewards themselves with a relapse. For a newbie addict, taking off their change, that is quitting the addiction, the hard 90, if you can do it hardmode, really do it, will not cure you. However, the hard 90, if done right, can allow you to have "the impossible thought": I can quit forever. Every addict has to have that thought, to quit. Quitting porn, as in quitting porn induced dopamine addiction, really did not exist as a concept at the very beginning. Gary Wilson had started talking about it a few months before, I started attempting to quit, but, generally accepted? No. Many of the concepts we now use and throw around did not exist when I first started trying (and failing) to get free. Therefore, when I did my reboot, I did not think of it as a reboot, I just knew I was quitting, and I did not do "the hard 90", because the hard 90 did not, really, exist as a first step. When I finally decided to quit, I QUIT. I really did not feel I had conquered it until about 4 months in, that is four months after I went clean and made the conscious decision to never watch porn again, which is another way of saying never use porn, aka artificial sexual stimulation, to get a dopamine high, again.To be honest, prior to that point in my life I thought I had a problem with porn, as in watching it too much, not being able to control my use of it, using it compulsively, but until the second I thought "I am addicted", I had no success with the problem. Prior to that I struggled, like a lot of guys do, with trying to control it, cut back on it, but keep it in my life. During those first 14 months I was trying to control my porn viewing, when I should have been struggling to destroy it. For the first 14 months I failed, because I failed to understand what was only beginning to be discussed: No one has ever been addicted to porn; it is just a button we push to cause a dopamine high. Until that is understood, until the mechanics of porn induced dopamine addiction is understood, the addict is fighting the condition like a boxer with a blindfold on At that point, before I understood the "why" of porn addiction, the concept of "quitting" was alien to me, so alien, the thought of it would have caused me to recoil. Like most of us here I had the thought: "Gee, I need to get in control of this thing, but I am never giving it up. I like it too much." What I did not understand then was that it was not porn that I liked, but the dopamine response it created.

    Once the mechanics of what is really happening in the brain, why we watch it, why we like it, what that feeling is, and why it can become an addiction, is understood, quitting becomes possible. With understanding, and self awareness, you can overcome the addiction. I promise.

    Gentlemen. Porn induced dopamine addiction is death worship. I want everyone reading this to go out in the world and embrace life, worship life, worship being alive. Revel in it. Get out in it. Swim in it. Get the glory and the dirt of it on you. Life is wonderful. Worship life. It will kick your ass, along the way, too; you will have split lips, black eyes, and scars. You will give some too. This is the nature of being alive. Don't hide from life in the addiction. Life: TAKE IT.

    Shakespeare: "All things are ready if our minds are so."

    Stay positive. How do we help ourselves? We help ourselves by helping others. Get outside the addiction and help yourself.

    Let's all have a great 2018.

    Much love.

    Will I AM.
     
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  7. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

    Gabe Deem, of Reboot Nation, penned this article. Alexander Rhodes, of Nofap, and the captain of this site, is referenced, along with Wilson and Zimbardo. You took time out of your life, years, to get addicted. You worked at it. It took effort. If you had spent as much time in the gym as you did searching porn, you would be a world class body builder; if you had spent as much time in class as you did searching porn, you would be a doctor. Take a little time to study your problem, and, I promise, you will find a solution. Read it. Get Educated. Time to take off your chains. Tick Tock. You don't want to make it to "old" being addicted. Time.

    Hello Gentlemen. Now we Begin.

    http://digitalcommons.uri.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1075&context=dignity

    Much love.

    William
     
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  8. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

    Someone on Reboot mentioned a documentary titled Over 18. I had never heard of it. It is, apparently, in the making. This link is a 3 minute promo for it.

    http://www.scorpiontv.com/over-18

    This is what porn education will look a bit like in the future, minus the ominous music. We, society, needs to understand what porn addiction is. The 13 year old who is the subject-porn-addict-in recovery, said something everyone here should pause a moment to appreciate and understand:

    "A lot of the time you don't just pick one picture, and then just stare at it, you just keep going, and going, and going, and all the pictures are different."

    We have all been there, clicking, clicking, clicking. Understand why. Porn addiction is arousal addiction. Arousal addicts do not want more of the same, like a drug addict wants. Arousal addicts crave different, different, different. This constant search for the novel, never before seen porn scene results in a dopamine hit. It is not just seeing the pic, then thinking the thought, then getting a dopamine rush. If there was only one porn vid in the world, we would become bored with it, and the addiction would not form. Part of this addiction is searching for something never seen before.

    The second concept I found helpful in the video is the distinction between static porn of the past, and porn post mass broadband. Insert the term High Speed Internet, or more specifically, High Speed Internet Porn, and the people making the documentary have come to realize there is a BC and an AD for porn addiction. The thing that makes porn addiction possible and prevalent is the creating and widespread use of High Speed Internet Porn, which makes it possible to constantly search for the never before seen scene. We liked porn before HSIP, because it gave us a dopamine rush, but that dopamine rush was limited because our access to never before seen porn was limited. Now, with HSIP, we can click, click, click all day, every day, and we never have to see the same scene twice. That ability to constantly search, for an arousal addict, who needs new, new, novel to feed their dopamine habit, is an ability we created when we created HSIP. Education is key. You have to study what is going on in your brain if you are going to be most successful fixing it. And, if no one told you can fix it, I am here to tell you, you can.

    Much love.

    Will I AM
     
    Pete McVries likes this.
  9. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

    This link was just posted.

    https://tonic.vice.com/en_us/article/wnd4wy/theres-no-such-thing-as-a-sex-addiction

    I am, kind of, way past the addiction deniers. I am, also way past those who wrap up this addiction in terms of bigger life problems. The addiction is very simple to understand. We have figured out we can push the porn button to get a dopamine high. Once we push that button, daily, for years, then pushing it becomes addictive. For the addict, you must learn and embrace the fact that it is NOT the button you are addicted to, but the dopamine high you get in response to pushing it. Once, intellectually, you embrace that, quitting the addiction will still be frickin difficult, but until you embrace that, quitting the addiction will be impossible. You have to understand what you are quitting, if you are going to have any chance of quitting it.

    I think we have a long way to go in understanding this addiction.

    We=humanity.

    Long way to go=centuries.

    The human brain did not get to where it is overnight. It took millions of years to evolve to where it is. It will take us a while to understand it, and brain science, and neurology, are only a few decades old. It has a way to go.

    David Ley, because he is dug in on the "no sex addiction" position, finds it easy to lump in porn addiction with sex addiction. While the two do share abuse of the brain's sexual reward system, they are quite different addictions. I have not seen much, if any, overlap in sex addiction and porn addiction. What we see is that if porn gets your dopamine high, porn works, and that is, potentially, what you can become addicted to using, to get your dopamine high. If sex is your button, then sex is what works to get your dopamine high. I have never seen anyone who claimed to be both porn and sex addicted. I think the two are mutually exclusive.

    In reality, porn is far easier to become addicted to. This has to do with availability. Porn is far more available, and easier to access, than sex. Sex addiction, to act on it at least, is far less available, far more onerous, than porn addiction. Sex addiction requires effort, requires interaction with others, requires another willing human being, requires time outside the home, requires bargaining and negotiation, requires effort, that porn addiction does not. Porn addiction, for most, requires a quiet room, a computer screen, and HSI access. Porn addiction is just easier. The two are just not the same things.

    Further, if we have learned anything from porn addiction, it is that porn addiction desensitizes the addict to actual sex. A porn addict prefers porn to sex. A severely addicted porn addict develops PIED, meaning an inability to have sex, with a real person, because they have become sensitized to porn and desensitized to sex. Porn addicts are not the same as sex addicts because porn addicts, especially severe porn addicts, cannot have sex with a real person; sex is not how they reach their dopamine high.

    In the future, science will better understand the human brain. We are all born with a brain that, around 10, prepubescent, starts to become fascinated with thoughts sexual. That is natural, normal, and pretty much the norm for all mammals. This is simple evolution, and nature's way of encouraging reproduction. Give or take, about 10-15 years ago, we invented High Speed Internet Porn. We invented, with that, the potential for porn addiction, which is actually porn induced dopamine addiction. All addictions seem to be based on the dopamine reward reaction, in the brain, to a large extent. We figured out a way, to use HSIP, to get a dopamine reaction, that, for some, is addictive.

    I would like to point out something very obvious, but something that addiction scientists often overlook: The human brain did not change with the invention of HSIP. It is is the same now as it has been for a few million years, at least the primitive sexual reward part of the brain. What changed, in the equation, was the availability of an external stimulation to obtain a dopamine high. So, to put this in perspective, had HSIP not, yet, been invented, porn addiction would, not yet, have been invented. Without HISP, there is no porn addiction. With this and all addictions, it comes down to availability. A heroin addict might, naturally, be inclined to love heroin, but unless heroin is available to him, he cannot become addicted to it.

    Sex addiction, as a widespread phenomena, also is subject to availability. Sex addiction has only become "available" to most of the population, in the last 100 years, and even then, only to a small part of the population. The ability to reach out and find another willing partner to copulate with, on a regular basis, daily, sometimes more than once a day, is simply not something most of the population has available to them. This, at least, in modern, recorded, history. This for about the last 5,000 years. I suggest that, currently, availability exists, primarily, in westernized societies that have things such as bars open all night, every night, nightclubs, and social norms that allow, if not encourage, people fucking on a regular basis with other people they have just met, in places they go for the purpose of finding others to fuck. Most major cities in most westernized countries have these places, which makes sex addiction available to those who wish to participate in it.

    There are a lot of people who do not live in westernized countries, who do not have access to nightclubs and bars, who, though they love the thought of sex, have a much reduced opportunity to have it. Repeated sex with strangers, or people they have only recently met, is not available to them: Translation, sex addiction is not available to them, therefore, in those populations, sex addiction is far less than in westernized populations.

    As we move forward, as technology spreads, as westernization spreads, as populations grow and converge, both sex addiction and porn addiction become more available to more people. Once made available, more sex addicts and more porn addicts will come into existence. That has nothing to do with the human brain changing, and everything to do with with the external stimulus that results in a dopamine high becoming available, where, before, it was not.

    So, do sex addiction and porn addiction exist? Yes, but they are not the same. Porn addiction is much easier for person to have than sex addiction. Both addictions, like all addictions, are the result of the addiction being available. Without HSIP, porn addiction is not available. We all still like the thought of sex, but without HSIP, the thought of sex cannot produce the prolonged, profound dopamine rush that creates the addiction. As for sex addiction, without the availability of routine, new, sexual partners, sex addiction is not possible. What we see is that as the world grows in various ways, both addictions become more available. With that growing availability, both addictions grow.

    As for David Ley, he has taken a position, and that is the position he will take for the rest of his life. I don't think he seriously contends the dopamine response does not exist, I think he contends it is not addictive, at least with sex or porn. What he fails to understand is that addiction happens when the thing that triggers the dopamine response cannot be quit without withdrawals. Both sex addiction and porn addiction, when quitting, cause withdrawals. It they did not, they would not be addictions. I suppose what I am saying is that addictions should not be defined in terms of the habit, but what happens to the addict when they quit the habit. For an addict, quitting the habit causes withdrawals, and if quitting the habit does not cause withdrawals, then the habit was not an addiction. Put this way, understanding addiction, not in terms of the habit, but in terms of what happens when the habit is quit, might be helpful to scientists studying the addiction, and treating those who are addicted.

    Just my two cents.

    Much love.

    Will I AM.
     
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  10. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

    lyon03 posted this 1-2-18. He says it clean. He says it clear.

    Happy New Year friends! Hey SMS...great hearing from you brother. Congratulations on 4+ years porn-free. What an accomplishment. I'm now at 3 years and 2+ months porn-free, just another 10 months before celebrating 4 years porn-free. In the beginning, I counted my recovery in days, weeks, and then months. I never thought I'd be counting my freedom in years but here I am. I welcome all of the new members and encourage the long-term members to keep coming back. There is no secret to my recovery:

    1. Doing the hard 90 (or 100 in my case)
    2. Daily posts and encouraging others
    3. Reading everything I could about porn addiction, addiction, self-esteem, self-improvement, etc.
    4. Attacking my addictions to porn, sex, and masturbation from every angle until I prevailed.

    To give you a snapshot of where I was, I was heavily addicted to dopamine [read up on it if you don't know the term] for about 15-20 years and masturbated to porn 1-2x daily for about the final ten years. There was a time when I couldn't go three whole minutes without a porn fix...I know because I timed it. Because of my screen/dopamine addiction, I suffered from depression, erectile dysfunction, anxiety, anger, and a whole host of other porn-related problems. Around Christmas 2013, I seriously contemplated suicide as my only way out. Had I not stopped watching porn and using hook up applications like Grindr (often while driving), I know I'd be a dead man.

    I joined this forum in November 2014 with a "porn is not an option" mentality and have not watched porn since. But I didn't do it alone. This forum and its kind members were a lifesaver. I also joined www.pornaddictsanonymous.org, a 12-step program for people with porn addictions, got a sponsor, now sponsor others, and still participate in their weekly phone-in meetings. So what's my point? If you attack your addictions from every possible angle, you will eventually prevail. It might not happen immediately and you might stumble from time to time, but you'll eventually get there.

    Thanks for reading friends. Be well and remember...PORN IS NOT AN OPTION.

    That was lyon, now, this is me. Never forget friends. How to we help ourselves? We help ourselves by helping others. Go out and help someone. I mean it. Find someone to help in any way you can. You have been living inside yourself, if you are porn addicted. Part of the process is something that you are going to hate, but which is necessary: You are going to have to get outside yourself and reengage with humanity. Just take my word for it. Go shovel your neighbor's snow. Mow their yard. Help your landlady get her groceries. Whatever it takes to be alive. Get out and help yourself. This is part of the process of quitting porn addiction. Don't do it passively. Don't just sit there and hope it will happen. Get back into the game of living. Porn is death worship. To live well, you have to worship life. Life is split lips and black eyes, sometimes, and sometimes it is giving those, too. Life is messy and outside our control. Porn addicts hate "outside our control." You wanna get free? Accept "outside our control." Don't be alive and worship death. Get out of your zone and worship life.

    I am begging you to come to this side of clean. I'll see you when you get here. I have absolute confidence in your success.

    Much love.

    Will I AM.
     
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2018
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  11. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Member

    I can relate very much to this. Back in my porn days, before I even knew about PIED and all the science, I often hesitated to socialize and go to parties e.g. because I felt like the situation there would be out of my control which made me feel uneasy.
     
  12. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

    @Pete McVries

    Hi Pete, thanks for the post. Especially in the beginning, reading posts, writing them, and responding was crucial to my reboot and overcoming the addiction. It helps us to keep our eye on the ball, and the ball is overcoming, quitting, porn induced dopamine addiction.

    If you are addicted, the only reason you are addicted is because you use porn to hit your dopamine high. That is, oversimplified, but, still, essentially, true. It works like this: Watch porn=hypersexual thoughts=dopamine high. By the time we become addicted, we have sensitized to porn and desensitized to reality. This means porn becomes important to us, for many, more important than real world social interactions. By that point, we are living the porn lifestyle. Part of what we love about the porn lifestyle is it costs us no investment, and we control it. Or, at least it looks like that. A real date, courtship, mating, or, more crudely, just trying to get laid, requires an investment that porn does not. Porn does not require negotiation, porn does not require a willing partner, porn does not require time or investment. Porn cannot ever let us down, it is 100% a sure thing. Porn never says no. I have heard some porn wants us to meet its parents before the relationship can develop. That's a lie, I just put it in to see if you are still reading. Porn requires no investment of us, personally, and in those little closed rooms we just tell it what to do, what to show us, we control it, and it obeys.

    Part of quitting is not only giving up the dopamine high you have been accessing every day for years, but giving up that little room's control, and getting out back into the world to interact with other homo sapiens. Part of reboot is doing something many of, by the time we are ready to quit the addiction, absolutely hate: dealing with other people, and all the negotiation and compromise that comes with that. But, I promise, if you do that, that will help you in your reboot. Help an old woman or kid across the street, help your neighbor bring in her groceries, walk a friend's dog; so something that requires you to do something/anything for any person other than yourself. This is part of the method in quitting porn.

    Hope this helps.

    Much love.

    William

    Day 24, Clear. Back tomorrow for day 25.
     
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  13. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

    I was asked about caffeine, gambling, gaming, as potential dopamine bumps during the reboot.

    This predicament, porn addiction, aka porn induced dopamine addiction, must be considered in context.

    A lot of things give us dopamine highs in perfectly natural, and healthy, ways.

    But, when considering porn addicts in the reboot, aka, porn addicts quitting, doing the hard 90--which is probably the most efficient means of becoming unaddicted--I believe dopamine rushes from just about anything should be avoided. Many porn addicts mistakenly believe that porn is what they are addicted to. They are not. Porn is just a button we push to get to what we really love: A dopamine high. So, in the reboot, everything that produces a dopamine high I advise against. This would be video games, gambling, porn, porn substitutes, vanilla porn, bikini mags, Victorias Secret, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, all of it, even sex. I have seen a lot of addicts fight me on the sex part, but, it is often ridiculous, because many are virgins or have PIED anyway, meaning I am advising them giving up something they are not doing anyway. While it looks we are quitting some of those things, we are not really quitting any of them. We are quitting the dopamine high those things trigger. The purpose and effect of the hard 90 is to train our brains to live, comfortably, with less dopamine highs, and less intense ones.

    As for ED or PIED, dopamine does not cause that. Dopamine is why we watch porn, and do some of the other things you mentioned, but dopamine is not, at least directly, the problem. A contributor to the problem? Yes. The actual problem? No.

    PIED is a result of becoming highly sensitized to porn. "Highly sensitized" means that, for an addict, porn is highly efficient at producing a dopamine high. For an addict, porn can become so efficient at producing a dopamine high that the brain essentially will only produce that high for porn, and no longer for sex, a real person, reality. At that point the addict becomes desensitized to reality, and will only become aroused by porn, and not much, if at all, in response to another real person. One of the difficult things an addict must understand when quitting porn is that they are giving up that easy, effortless, ever there, dopamine high it produces. If done right, the hard 90 puts us on the path back to normal dopamine responses, meaning once we take porn away from the brain as a means to that end, the brain will, usually, start to trigger on the real deal, aka, sex. But, here is a nuance. While many say that the hard 90 is a great first step in overcoming the addiction, it does not necessarily translate to the time needed to overcome PIED. While I would say that everyone who has PIED is an addict, not every addict has PIED, and not all have it as bad.

    Because a dopamine high, per se, is not directly the cause of PIED, but, rather hyperensitization to porn and desensitization to reality is, I personally do not believe that gaming, gambling, caffeine (which I am unaware produces a dopamine response) contribute to PIED. That said, for an addict in the reboot, I do recommend avoiding anything that spikes your dopamine, because for the addict, putting down that dopamine crutch is the main focus and purpose of the reboot.

    Much love.

    Will.
     
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  14. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

    We are a long way from understanding the brain mechanics behind porn addiction.

    So, let's start at the beginning.

    No one has ever been addicted to porn. Porn is a button. We love pushing the button, because when the button is pushed, we get something we love very, very much: a dopamine rush.

    Let's understand what dopamine is. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter in our brains. You have it, I have it, everyone has it. It is so important to our existence that, without it, our species would not exist. All mammals have it. It is a motivational and reward neurotransmitter. Dopamine is the"why" behind why we do, and want to do, a lot of things we perceive as loving to do, but, also, are necessary to do for the promulgation of the species. Dopamine is the evolved reason why we want sex, why we want food, and as we have figured out, why we want porn, drugs, etc. Dopamine is a good thing, but, we have figured out how to abuse it, because that is what humans do.

    It is also important to understand that porn addiction is an arousal addiction, as opposed to a substance addiction. Substance addicts can, and often to, overdose. That is because substance addicts need "more" of the thing they are putting into their body to reach their high, over time, as they desensitize to the amount that originally worked for them. Arousal addicts do not need "more", they need "new, different, never-before-experienced" in order to get off. This is why porn addicts move through the categories, over time, and why porn addicts cannot over dose. We don't need more porn to get off, we need different categories, over time, to get off. For arousal addicts, it is the new that produces the dopamine high. Dopamine, of course, naturally, is an evolved brain mechanism that encourages sex, as in reproduction of the species. Without it, there would be no human species.

    So, let's imagine sex without dopamine. Let's imagine sex without a neurotransmitter that does not translate to us really, really liking sex. Imagine trying to have sex without it being pleasurable.

    Guy to woman: I have been thinking about creating a replica of myself....

    Woman: Ok, why are you telling me this?

    Guy: I have done some research, and it turns out that if I mix my genetic material with a females, it could, long term, produce a replica.

    Woman: That sounds so horrible. How would you do that?

    Guy: There is this thing here, called a penis. Guys have them, women do not. It turns out that with a bit of effort, I can make this thing get hard, and, if I can find a willing female, I can insert this into their body, and transfer my genetic material into their body...

    Woman: Wait, wait? What the fuck, you want to put what where?

    Guy: Well, having done the research, turns out female bodies are receptive to this. They are made to receive a penis, in order to transfer genetic material. That is why you have that opening there in your body.

    Woman: Hold up. In "my" body. First, it is called a pussy, and second, ain't no one putting any penises in that. That is disgusting. But, just say that you did, what would happen then?

    Guy: Well--just hypothetically speaking--if I did put it in, and I did transfer genetic material, technically sperm, that might reach a woman's eggs, and that might produce a zygote...

    Woman: WTF

    Guy: a zygote...a coming together of her genetic material with mine, which, if successful, could produce a baby, in about 9 months.

    Woman: What happens in the meantime, where is this baby for that 9 months.

    Guy: In the woman's womb, of course.

    Woman: (puzzled look, silence).

    Guy: It would grow inside you, for nine months.

    Woman: Ok, goodbye.

    Without a dopamine high, without that motivational and reward neurotransmitter, sex would be a negotiation that would almost always fail.

    Nature short circuited the above exchange by just making sex feel good, via the dopamine high we get from thinking about sex. Without that dopamine high, then thoughts of sex would not lead to sex, because without that dopamine high, thoughts of sex are not very sexy.

    You might think you "love" ice cream. You don't. You love the dopamine response thinking about it produced. It is essential to understand this is 100% a brain issue. Dopamine is not produced in response to an act, either sex or eating, it is produced in response to thinking about those things. We are clever, and self destructive, monkeys, and we like riding highs. We have figured out many ways to abuse our brains to ride highs, none of which are helpful to our existence, some of which are deadly.

    If you are addicted to porn, you are not addicted to porn. You are addicted to the dopamine rush it gives you. Lesson one, know your brain.

    Lesson two, go with the dopamine response when seeking sex. Nature has made that easy for us. It is a lot easier than trying to rationalize it to a female. Trying to talk anyone into staying pregnant for 9 months is not a strong argument. Get off porn, get into the game of life.

    Much love.

    Will I AM.
     
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  15. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

    HSIP, High Speed Internet Porn, became prevalent in westernized societies say, around, 2011. We liked porn before 2011, and, since, at least 1960, porn was available in the mass media. But, it was not until HSIP, that porn became so efficient at delivering a dopamine hit, that it became addictive. I know some people say they were addicted to porn prior to HSIP, but, there is a difference between really, really liking porn, and being addicted to it. For instance, there are no reported instances of PIED (Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction) prior to the widespread existence of HSIP. If we consider PIED a symptom porn addiction, and we understand PIED did not exist prior to HSIP, we understand that HSIP created a fundamental change in the perceived reality of those who have access to it. Not everyone who has access to HSIP becomes addicted, but the addiction, and the symptoms of it, were not in existence prior to the invention of HSIP.

    Conclusion: We invented this addiction ourselves. Congratulations humanity for yet another terribly bad, yet brilliant, idea.

    If you are a porn addict, you can rid yourself of any moral judgment regarding the addiction. You can rid yourself of any mommy-daddy issues. And let me be clear: You should rid yourself of those side issues, and ridding yourself of those side issues makes getting clean much, much easier. They are distractions. You will still have those issues when you get clean, but if you are trying to get clean by cleaning up the side issues, you are trying to swim with weights tied to your legs. It won't work, they will drag you down, and you will sink. Get clean from porn addiction first, then deal with your other issues. You will find that tackling them, later, when clean, is a lot easier than trying to get clean from porn while struggling with whatever traumatic event happened to you when you were a kid. And yes, everyone here was once a kid who had a traumatic event that happened to them. You are not alone.

    If you are a porn addict, it is because you have trained yourself--unconsciously--to to push the porn button to get a dopamine high. You may have underlying issues, you may be totally fucked up, but you are not a porn addict, despite how fucked up you might be, because of any underlying issues. You are a porn addict because porn gives you a dopamine high. If porn did not give you that dopamine high, you would not watch it; it would be boring to you. No matter how fucked up you are, no matter what your underlying issues, you only watch porn for the dopamine high it gives you. Without that you would not watch it, no matter how fucked up you are.

    We, the species, mammals, have been able to, naturally, obtain a dopamine high for about 138 million years. But, the invention of HSIP, changed things. It is an artificial sexual stimulation that is far more efficient than anything in nature to obtain the dopamine high all of us, addicted or not, like. I think, maybe, those addicted to it like it a bit more than others, but all of us are wired to like it. It is nature's way of encouraging us to have sex, reproduce, make babies.

    HSIP is new, relatively, in our collective experience. And, it is here to stay. That genie is not going back in the box, so, we are going to have to learn to live with it. It is here to stay, meaning the potential for porn addiction, aka porn induced dopamine addiction, is something that humanity will have to deal with, forever. It's OK. I am sure we will invent other even more debilitating addictions. We are clever monkeys.

    So, the question for any one reading this is: Do I want to stay addicted? It's a pretty black and white question, with a pretty black and white answer. The honest answer for a porn addict is: Yes, I absolutely want to stay addicted forever.

    Just being honest. So, to quit the addiction, you are going to have to do something you do not want to do, which is becoming unaddicted. Unaddicted. New word. Just made it up. In a few years, it will make it into the dictionaries. It will make it into the dictionaries when large segments of the population 1) become addicted, then 2) start striving to become unaddicted. This is already happening. If you have become addicted to porn, it is important to understand the history of the addiction. It is also helpful to understand the history of the cure, of becoming unaddicted.

    You put real effort into becoming addicted. It took time, and patience. You worked on it every day, every single day. You practiced it like you practiced anything you ever wanted to be good at. Through that daily practice, you became an expert, an expert at being addicted. It won't take less effort to get clean. As much as you love the addiction, you are going to hate getting clean. But, you can get clean. And then, over time, you won't miss it.

    Porn addiction is a lifestyle. If you want to get out of that lifestyle, you have to change your lifestyle. I recommend the hard 90 to begin. 90 days, no porn, no porn substitutes, no sex, no MO, no O, no M, no edging, and deliberately, consciously, eliminating or lessening sexual thoughts. It is not called the easy 90. What you are doing in that time is a course correction for your brain. You are consciously altering brain stimulation and response. Stimulation being sexual thoughts, response being a dopamine high. It is the dopamine high you are giving up, which totally sucks, because we like that high, but you will not become unaddicted unless you give it up. You will get it again later, in reduced quantities, via reality, but giving up the prolonged, profound dopamine highs you have gotten via porn, has to go, in order to become unaddicted.

    If you are reading this, I know you can do it. I, and many others, have. You can do it.

    Much love.

    Will.
     
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  16. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

    So, the first part of the cure totally, totally, fucking sucks. The first part of the cure are three words I hated saying to myself: I am addicted. That day sucks, because I had spent a big part of my life consciously avoiding any addictive substance, or, at least abusing any addictive substance to the point of possibly becoming addicted. Let's put it this way: Addiction scared me. I was afraid of becoming addicted since I was a young kid. I took pretty seriously the "don't do drugs" lectures by the recovering addicts they brought in, in elementary school, to scare us straight. I was one of those scared straight guys. But no one mentioned porn, because porn is about sex, and we don't talk about sex to our kids in this society. Some genius (sarcasm) came up with the thought that if we don't tell our kids anything about sex, they won't have it, or if they have it, they will only have it once for every kid they intend to produce. So, here is the truth; I hope you are sitting down. Human brains evolved so, right around they time the hit puberty, maybe a bit before, right around the time their bodies start to became really, really good at making babies, they start to think of sex, and like thinking of sex. As in, a lot. Sure, some may hate themselves for loving to think about sex, but the human brain is wired to think about it and like thinking about it, beginning around puberty. This is true in all mammals, and humans are just mammals. This is nature's way of encouraging sex, sex being nature's way of encouraging baby making, baby making being nature's way of promulgating the species, whatever mammal you are. That "I like sex, I like thinking of sex" feeling we have is a dopamine rush. A dopamine rush is the good feeling we get from"liking the thought of sex." It has been around for millions of years, and it works, because when we think about sex, we often have the real deal, and when that happens babies are made, and the population grows. But, being clever monkeys, around 2006-2011 we invented High Speed Internet, and in a matter of moments someone added porn to the mix, thus: HSIP, high speed internet porn. For some of us, HSIP makes think a lot about sex, and those thoughts transmit to a dopamine high, and we love that dopamine high. HSIP is the most efficient means of making ourselves think of sex, thus the most efficient means for us of getting a dopamine high, from thinking about sex. It is the dopamine high that is addictive. So, when you take your first step in getting clean, which is "I am addicted", it is useful to understand what you are addicted to. It looks like porn, it sounds like porn, in the future it will feel, smell, and taste like porn, but it really is not. Porn is just a button we push to get to what we really love; a dopamine high.

    There are people who deny the addiction exists. As the article below correctly states, history will not judge them well. They will be like the doctors who appeared in cigarette ads in the 50's, advertising the health benefits of a cancer delivery vehicle.

    https://www1.cbn.com/cbnnews/entert...ting-real-about-porn-and-its-damaging-effects

    Take time to study the problem. This addiction we call porn addiction can seem overwhelming at first, impossible to stop, impossible to cure. However, if you study it, it becomes a much smaller problem, a small brain problem of cause (watch porn) and effect (dopamine rush). It is still difficult as fuck to quit, but a smaller problem is easier to fix than a problem you may perceive now as huge. It is a difficult problem, but it is not huge. I suggest when quitting porn addiction, focus only on quitting porn addiction, and leave your side issues out of the quitting process. You will find, once you quit porn addiction, that your other problems are still with you, but fixing those without the monkey of porn addiction on your back will become much more doable.

    Hope this helps.

    Much love.

    Will I AM.
     
    Pete McVries likes this.
  17. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

    THE RECENT INVENTION OF "PORN ADDICTION"

    Porn addiction is a recently invented phenomenon. We (humanity) have been fascinated with porn since we were drawing it on cave walls, but only recently, with the invention of the internet, and, then, the invention of High Speed Internet Porn, (HSIP), has porn addiction become available to us. As with all addictions, it begins with "availability". While the human brain might be susceptible to an addiction, and has been susceptible since it evolved into its current form, if the addiction is not available, the addiction cannot form.


    Crude example: Without cocaine being available, cocaine addiction cannot form.


    Addiction is not a naturally occurring event in nature. In this sense all of our addictions are "invented" when we take naturally occurring things from nature and recombine them in forms not occurring in nature. This ability may be unique to the human species.

    I have had the discussion about "sex addiction," and have been challenged on the concept that since sex is naturally occurring, the addiction, also, occurs naturally. The distinction here is that while using sex to achieve a dopamine high is an event that is naturally occurring, and is nature's healthy way of encouraging reproduction, "sex addiction" has only been widely available to large segments of the population since we started migrating to the cities, and even then, much later, when it became acceptable to mingle in venues that encouraged recreational sex. The ability to have recreational sex may be unique to us and a few other mammals. A lot of species only have sex for one reason: to reproduce.

    We invented the internet about 1990, but it was not widely available to everyone at that time, and there are still wide segments of the population (on the planet) for whom it is not especially available. Google search went live in the Fall of 1998. If one searches the first full year Google was available to search, 1999, one finds only 24 links returned for the phrase "porn addiction", and only slightly more than 1/2 actually have anything to do with discussing the actual addiction.

    By 1999, there were only about 15 links, not pages, in response to searching for the phrase "porn addiction", having actually to do with porn addiction, which was, at that time, nascent. Today, if one searches the same phrase for the last year, at Google, one will return about 24 pages for the term "porn addiction", with nearly all of them involving a discussion of the concept, as we currently use it.

    Some claim that about 1/3 of viewers of porn currently consider themselves addicted. Again, back to availability, porn may be the most available addictive event that currently exists in our reality. We are talking millions and millions of addicts, and, interestingly, most do not know it, or even know it is possible. Acceptance of the concept is new, and not widely accepted; the science behind it is new; and, while growing in acceptance, is still challenged. In 100 years, what we know now about porn addiction, which is actually porn induced dopamine addiction, will look crude, simplistic, and possibly stupid, but at least we have opened our eyes, are studying the problem, and are becoming self aware.

    And those millions of addicts who do not know it? They are about to discover it, because, eventually, and maybe inevitably, we come to a place where we want to put it down, due to the problems it causes in our lives, and quickly learn how fast our brains can punish us for denying it its daily dopamine fix. Bad days those for all of us.

    Around 2008-2011, we upgraded to High Speed Internet Porn. This meant there was no wait in response to a search. At that point porn jumped, for the searcher and potential addict, from "finite" to "infinite". That is the time frame the addiction came into existence. That distinction, finite v. infinite, is key to understanding how the addiction forms. We, humanity, for better or for worse, have always loved porn, by which I mean we have always loved the end result porn gives us: a dopamine high. But, until HSIP came into widespread existence, that means of getting a dopamine high was not "available." We will invent other means, in the future, but this addiction is interesting, to me, in that we can track its inception to the years it came into existence.

    As you know, that dopamine rush, is key to ALL addictions, to varying extents. When we invented HSIP, we invented something that had not existed, in that form, before, in our reality: A means of endlessly searching for never before experienced porn, in order to achieve a prolonged, powerful, effortless, endless, dopamine high. Before that, with finite porn, we had to wait for it, and work for it. We liked finite porn, with the finite dopamine highs it could give us, but with HSIP, getting that high, multiple times a day, every day, for years, became possible, thus making the addiction available.

    One of the tricks in becoming un-addicted is studying it, the brain process of it, and, with this addiction, perhaps more than any other, its history.

    W.
     
  18. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

    Hi. @Saber You posted this:

    Hey guys new here, couple of questions. First my addiction to porn is almost entirely on hentai. I have looked at 'real' porn and gotten off of course, but it doesnt hold the same appeal to me. I have done a lot of reboots, 30, 50 and even a 90, but always drawn back to hentai.

    My life is in order, married, (she knows I look at it) a kid, a job, exercise etc. I view it as a way to relax, but deep down wonder if it is messing up my life.

    It is 'worse' for you than regular porn?

    Also where do specific fetishes come from? I have a bad draw towards step-relationships (the forbidden aspect of it)? What would this be indicative of?

    I know many dont talk about hentai on here, but know its really popular. Is appears to be a hidden addiction.


    I wanted to reach out to you and give you a better understanding of the addiction. First of all, understanding the addiction is difficult because it can look like X when it is actually Y. A lot of guys talk about being addicted to some category of porn. In your case, it is hentai. However, no one, in the world, has ever been addicted to a category of porn, or even porn itself. We call it "porn addiction" but that is just what it looks like; the phrase in inapt, inexact, and was created in the infancy of the internet, well before the neuroscience underlying the problem has been studied or understood.

    So let's understand the problem, and use some words and concepts that are more correct. Let's start with asking why we like sex. (It is the same reason we use porn). The only reason we like sex is that if feels good. What about sex feels good? Now, a lot of people might answer: I like the orgasm. But, and this is where a better understanding will help you understand the addiction, it is not the orgasm you like; it is the neurological brain reaction you like. Every perception of reality you have is run though the brain.

    And it is not just sex we like, or maybe even love; we get the same neurological reward when we think of sex. The neurological reward, that feeling of feeling good, even euphoric, is the result of a lot of brain processes, but key among them is the release of the neurotransmitter, dopamine. Yes, it is oversimplification, but, more correctly, porn addicts are not porn addicts; porn addicts are dopamine addicts. We get that dopamine rush via thoughts of sex.

    That, by the way, is perfectly healthy, and is nature's evolved way of encouraging us to do just about the only thing nature cares that we do: reproduce. It, that process, that rewarding of sexual thought with a dopamine rush, works very well, very efficiently, to make us make more of us, as in babies. So, understand the process, don't judge it. And yes, as critics have pointed out, calling it a dopamine addiction is over simplistic, but, for an addict, keeping it simple is one step toward understanding the addiction, and overcoming it.

    So, understand, you are not addicted to hentai, nor is anyone addicted to a category. For those addicted, the addiction is to the neurological event that sex and sexual thoughts produce. If you have the time to watch this video, watch it; it explains everything.

    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/garys-tedx-talk-great-porn-experiment

    Also, helpful to understand the history of this addiction, which has been caused an arousal and behaviorial addiction. This addiction, called Porn Addiction, was invented by the species when the species invented the internet, and more specifically, High Speed Internet Porn. HSIP makes getting that dopamine rush effortless, and endless. We never have to experience the same image twice. And, what does experiencing that image result in? A dopamine rush. The way it works, and has since we became humanity, and even before, is this: sexual thought = dopamine rush. We like that. But, until recently, we were limited in just how many sexual thoughts we could have, at any one point. The invention of HSIP means we can sit down, in front of a computer, for hours, every day, for years, and endlessly search for the never before seen image, resulting in the never before experienced sexual thought. Part of the dopamine reward experience is that the experience is enhanced when we search for, and find, a never before experienced sexual thought. We always have liked the dopamine rush a sexual thought can produce, but, before the invention of HSIP, we were practically limited in how often we could have a sexual thought. With HSIP there is no limitation, which has allowed the addiction to come into existence.

    As for underlying past experiences or traumas leading to porn addiction, you can write that off. You may have past experiences and traumas and porn addiction, but the past experiences and traumas did not cause your porn addiction. We become addicted because we have trained ourselves to expect the prolonged and powerful dopamine rushes that nothing but porn can give, at least for some of us. You don't have to be messed up to become addicted; you just have to have HSIP and time everyday to train your brain to expect that dopamine rush on a regular basis. You know you are addicted when you try giving it up and become an emotional train wreck; those are withdrawals, and when you experience withdraws when you put down your porn, you are addicted.

    Just some basics. Hope it helps. By the way, your wife may know about it, but she is not OK with it. No, I do not know her personally, but, from experience, no wife likes her husband getting their dopamine rush from anyone or any thing other than them. Almost everyone here started out thinking it's OK, it is ubiquitous, society accepts it, it's even a bit funny. If you are an addict and are committed to quitting, you have to jettison the thoughts that porn is acceptable in anyway, at least during the reboot.

    Peace.

    Will I AM.
     
    tricking mind likes this.
  19. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

    IS SEX THE BEST EXPERIENCE EVER? PROBABLY NOT, BUT NEUROLOGICALLY, YOUR BRAIN PROBABLY THINKS SO.

    This far out, I have come to dislike the term "porn addiction". It was coined at least a decade before the neurology that underlies the addiction was understood and expressed. In my opinion, the person most responsible for understanding and expressing the neurology underlying the addiction is Gary Wilson, of Yourbrainonporn.com. If you are newbie, and have the problem, visit that sight and read everything there. Understanding the neurology underlying the addiction will not cure you, but, in my opinion, you cannot be cured until you understand the neurology underlying the addiction. You cannot fight an enemy you do not understand.

    Gary posted this video in 2012.

    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/garys-tedx-talk-great-porn-experiment

    Watch it, take notes, watch it again. Everything is explained.

    Interestingly, probably the biggest "porn addiction" denier, David Ley, published this article, which accurately describes the brain changes that happen when we think of sex, and have it.

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/201701/no-dopamine-is-not-addictive

    When Ley says dopamine is not addictive, he may be, technically, correct. It may be that the brain process that begins with a sexual thought and ends is orgasm is what is addictive. But, for purposes of being an addict and quitting the addiction, I think the term "dopamine addiction" or "porn induced dopamine addiction" is sufficient to name the problem.

    The same neurological processes, changes, brain events, happen when we have sex as when we watch porn, but with one big distinction: Porn is much more available to us. This makes porn, as a mechanism for getting high, much more potentially addictive, than sex.

    If you are a newbie, as in a brand new newbie, you may not think of this problem in terms of "getting high", but that is exactly how we use porn, and is, in fact, the only reason we watch porn, like porn, and miss it when we quit it. It works like this. Most of what you experience is a result of external stimulation being translated by the brain. A long time ago, as in millions of years ago, nature figured out that the most efficient way of encouraging reproduction of the species was to reward thoughts about reproduction. Without being overly technical, that "reward" is a dopamine rush/dopamine high. Whatever feelings you have about porn that you enjoy or like or you interpret as feeling good, well, that momentary feeling of euphoria you get with it, it being PMO, is a dopamine rush. You get that from the thought of sex, alone. The thing is, however, by around 1999-2005, we had invented the ability to have non stop sexual thoughts: the internet. Specifically, High Speed Internet, which quickly produced High Speed Internet Porn. Owing to various brain functions, which Gary Wilson explains above, we lose interest in the "same thing" sexually. Don't get me wrong, you can fall in love and lust with one other person for the rest of your life, but, sexually, the urgency and drama (aka dopamine response) to that person fades over time. It may never go away completely, though , for a lot of people, it does. You won't have to think very hard about the middle aged couple who have put on some weight, never dress to impress each other, do not speak much, and don't look at each other during meals. They may have had passionate sex when younger, meaning they could use each other to produce over the top dopamine highs, but, over the years, that passion faded. When I say "the passion faded" I mean the dopamine rush they got from each other faded. Is this sad or tragic? No. This is evolution. Nature has evolved us to be more "passionate" when young, because it is when we are young that nature wants us making babies. Nature is not very interested in middle aged persons making babies; that is not the optimal time to make babies.

    The "high" we feel with PMO is a dopamine rush, and it is that feeling that is addictive. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter, in the brain, that functions to reward sexual thoughts. Nature figured out a long time ago that rewarding sexual thoughts, leads to the real deal, sex. People that think about sex, at least in nature, are more likely to actually have it, and more likely to do what nature really, really, wants: Make babies. Nature never intended dopamine to be addictive, but it did intend for us to love that feeling it gives us, so, in that sense, maybe nature really did intend sexual thoughts to be addictive, but, in nature, while we might like that feeling, we could not afford to be addicted to it, to ride that high for hours a day, every day, for years, as we can now with High Speed Internet Porn. Why not? Because, believe it or not, there was a time, not too long ago, when the human species had to fight to survive. Back then, that type of distraction meant death.

    So, take time to understand the "why" of why you like porn, and the why of why you miss it, terribly, when you give it up. We don't like porn at all, we don't miss porn at all, we miss the feeling it allows us to give ourselves, and that feeling is 100% a brain response to sexual thoughts: a dopamine rush.

    Naturally, it works like this: Sexual thought = dopamine rush. That feels nice, most of the time, or it can feel uncomfortable, as in being horny. But, naturally, it works to do the one thing nature demands of all successful species: it causes reproduction. That dopamine rush is why you like sexual thoughts, and is, in part, why those sexual thoughts lead to sex and baby making.

    But now, we alter our environment with the introduction of High Speed Internet Porn. That is no longer natural. Now it works like this: HSIP=hypersexual thoughts. And, we never really have to quit thinking them, because, due to HSIP, we manufacture new sexual thoughts non stop. Now, remember what I said about the older couple losing passion and sexual interest in each other? When it comes to the dopamine rush of sexual thoughts, that older couple has desensitized to each other. Turns out the same sexual thought, over and over, over years, gets a bit boring to us, which means we desensitize to the dopamine response it produces. The thing about porn, though, is; porn can produce a never ending stream of never before thought sexual thoughts. If you are a newbie, understand, we do not desensitize to porn because we never have to watch the same vid twice. People do desensitize to categories, but, no problem, they can still get their dopamine fix by moving to a different category. Porn makes possible something that does not occur in nature, or naturally; porn allows for endless, new, sexual thoughts, for hours, every day, for years. High Speed Internet Porn allows us to ride a dopamine high endlessly, and, after a while, our brains come to expect that daily high, want it, demand it, and punish us when it is removed. By the time you get to that place you are officially addicted. Congrats! We do it to ourselves unconsciously. One of the big tools in becoming unaddicted is to become conscious of what you are doing to your brain. It is important to own it: You may not have understood it, but porn addiction is something we do to ourselves. We, literally, train our brain to expect the neurological brain reward that is a dopamine rush.

    The good news is that just as you trained your brain to want it and demand it, you can train your brain to live without it. That takes effort, and you have to understand what you are training your brain to do; you are training your brain to live without porn induced dopamine highs. THAT is what you are giving up. Looks like you are giving up porn, and, literally, you must, but it is the dopamine rush you will miss, for a while. Just know that going in and quitting will be slightly less hellish.

    Much love.

    Will I AM.
     

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