How do you progress more successfully after relapse?

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by J4mes, Jun 12, 2018.

  1. J4mes

    J4mes New Member

    Now about the guilt part, I've handled that.

    Just that, when I relapse, I don't feel like doing anything productive, just feel like binging on video games?
    You don't feel like doing any other work?

    Can anyone advice on this? I've read, to come against this addiction is to work on your life, on your dreams. And sometimes our motivation for our dreams become so little.
    And I feel, what good can it do, for just so little effort i can for this particular day.

    Like right now, I just want to hop on video games, but I know its not helping my day at all. Is it courage that's needed to face even this, because procrastination stems from fear.

    Fear to even face problems.
     
  2. doneatlast

    doneatlast Active Member

    Keeping a relapse as short as possible helps. If you can only quit for a few days at a time and you were formerly a twice a day porn addict (just an example), then those few day spurts can go a long way towards recovery, provided you don't binge, or get an "aw, f&$& it" sense. That was my problem for a long time... after a relapse I'd go full on porn for a while, try again, relapse, forget about it... getting back onto the reboot right away is hard, but it was a big part on what ultimately led to my recovery.

    I'm not sure I know your relationship with video games, but there could be a variety of answers. One answer could be that it is a healthy distraction from porn, another answer is that it is too coupled with porn for you and should be given up as well... think cigarettes and alcohol, having one leads to the other very easily.

    When you're feeling more ambitious, make some goals and come up with things you feel you know you'll feel okay doing at times like that. When you have the energy to think of these things it is easier. Write them down if you have to. Don't be overly ambitious... don't tell yourself you'll work on learning ancient Greek when you relapse and are feeling lazy or anything. Sometimes just getting outside, going for a walk, or even hitting the gym (if you're the sort) can be helpful. Something that is low stress, easy to do on a whim, and will expend some energy.
     
  3. J4mes

    J4mes New Member

    i saw this youtube video about doing anything that you want just 1 minute per day. but right now its like i dont even bother 1 minute. i'll work on it my own, dont worry.

    thanks for your advice too. im currently a once a week PMO person. been like this for a long time
     
  4. doneatlast

    doneatlast Active Member

    To be clear I am not dismissing your request by saying you'll need to figure it out, just that random suggestions from me won't resonate as much as something more personalized to you. Feel free to talk about things you're trying on this board. You may find others who have tried those things and can share some experiences. For some it is a musical instrument, for others it is exercise, school work, or something religious. It doesn't have to be constructive, either. If a jigsaw puzzle or a coloring book helps you clear your mind, then have at it.
     
  5. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Active Member

    Figure out what made you relapse and think of something to prevent that from happening again.

    Did you get triggered while browsing Facebook or Instagram? Don't access it anymore. Did you start peeking at porn while mindlessly browing the internet? Stop doing that. Did staying up until very late at night caused you to relapse? Go to bed earlier.

    See what I mean? Instead of simply feeling like shit and hoping it won't happen again, or even telling yourself you won't do it again, take action to prevent future relapses. You can't make your life 100% failproof but you can and should learn from your mistakes, so that you don't keep repeating them once every few days.
     

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