Hello, everyone! I just turned the big four-oh, so I figured I better am-scray from the youngsters' forum, make my way up an age bracket, and join all you silver foxes. As of today, I've been clean from PMO for 1,196 days. I started on September 25 2013. Since then, I've had my ups and downs, but not one relapse. Over the 2016 holiday season, I lapsed back into watched a lot of P, and I've since taken steps to reaffirm my commitment to sobriety. You can find my original journal here: http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/forum/threads/three-years-clean-renewing-my-commitment-srl.13848/ Feel free to read as much or as little as you like. As is the case with many of us, my journal is alternately uplifting and humiliating, but I'm proud of every last moment of the last three-plus years. As evidenced by my backsliding in 2016, the struggle never ends. There's a crazy, janky, short-circuiting dopamine receptor in my brain, and it craves constant input. My commitment to sobriety includes more than simply abstaining from PMO -- it includes a healthier relationship with dopamine and stimulus. It includes a healthier relationship to online activity. It includes less Facebook, Twitter and Instagram -- because all of those services are replete with triggers. It includes more time reading. More time meditating. More time creating art. More time working out, going on hikes, being with my woman -- basically, more time being alive. I further fall into the category of fellow who believes that although there's a place for P in a free society, as an industry, it's got a pretty nasty dark side, and it has the capacity to often — though not always — exploit and degrade women (and sometimes men). I know that's a controversial subject, and I welcome discussion on it. I'm also a huge fan of this site. It's provided me with a rock-solid support network since I started my reboot. Almost to a person, I found this place to be packed with good-hearted, well-meaning men (and some women) who honestly want to change. I've found this place to be a salve to toxic masculinity and an enclave of well-considered introspection. Everyone here has their share of problems, and we only blame one person for 'em: ourselves, which is as it should be. Please note, I have two goofy catchphrases I use a lot: SRL: Strength, Respect, Love. VTM: Valerian Tea Moment — that moment of temptation right before you act on an impulse. Anyway, that's me — 2AqutHUq. Feel free to call me 2A. I'll be continuing my journey with all you silver foxes. SRL!