Since my last slip urges have been managable. While there have been times when I had a really hard time not giving into porn again after PMO, right now that's not really worrying me. What is troublesome however is how I feel about giving into porn. A month back I felt a lot better than I did in a very long time. I was proud about the steps I made, confident about how things were going and content with myself in general. About three weeks ago started going a bit downhill. I had the injury I mentioned, the demotivating assignment, work hours that affected my sleep and meditation in a negative way and some more stuff. So it's fair to say that I already felt worse before I slipped. But the thing is when I did slip I felt so bad about myself for doing so, I became even more insecure, agitated, stressed. It affected my work, my thesis, my relationship and my social life in a negative way. Hence: last week and the start of the weekend sucked pretty bad. On a rational level I can handle a slip pretty well: I understand that it's just a slip and that all I need to do is get back up and move on. However, on a more emotional level, I still find slips pretty hard to deal with. And this is something that I really should be working on. I don't think a slip needs to affect me the way it does. Slips will happen and there is no reason that as a result of those my feelings of selfworth should plummet. The progress I made does not suddenly dissappear into oblivion and in the long run I'm still moving on in the right direction. Right now I don't really have a clue how to handle that other than doing things that are easier said than done. One of the things that might help me is sticking to my meditations even when I have less time for those. They affect me in a very positive way and keep me more balanced, so especially when things get a bit more tough they are an important tool to keep moving on.