ED, utterly perplexed. Hear me out. Your Thoughts?

Discussion in 'Erectile Dysfunction / Delayed Ejaculation' started by Need4speed, Oct 3, 2017.

  1. Need4speed

    Need4speed New Member

    Alright y'all I usually read the forums but this is my first post so i apologize if it's lengthy. I'll do my best to keep it to the point.


    Been struggling for almost 6 years with my sex drive and erections. Here's a brief run down of my history...


    Started noticing these problems when I was 20, but didn't think much of it. I've always been an active guy. Not trying to boast but I'm 6'4", 220 lbs, strong, ripped, always lifted, played sports collegiately, and have never once had a problem getting it up, lasting long, or being horny. I had some good looking girls to bone and none of this was EVER a problem needless to say. The only time I've ever not been able to perform per say was when a old ex and i broke up, I was heart broke, wasn't in the mood naturally, and I knew that so I wasn't concerned it was an outside factor.

    IMPORTANT: During this time I started to masturbate To porn for the first time in my life. Up to this point I looked at porn but never physically made myself orgasm to it (weird I know). So then at age 20, for the first time, I discovered I could do this to myself and consequently did it like 3 times a day.

    I continued to do this for about 2 years, between 1-3 times a day and slowly I started needing, wanting, to have more of it. Erections got weaker, real life experiences couldn't get it up, etc. I discovered this site and for 4 years I've fought an ongoing battle thinking this was my problem.

    (Also had a back injury. 2 bulging discs, had MRI, did physical therapy, recovered. Never had painful erections or pain down legs, just muscle tightness in back.)


    With that said, after that when I noticed things were going south again for no reason, i waited a good while, then decided to see a Dr. He ordered blood tests for the whole nine yards to make sure all hormonal levels were up to par. Everything checked out, which left me to think "alright maybe it's mental, which I can fix". So with that reassurance I kept a good positive attitude that I'd be fine because, well, I WAS fine... At this point I'm about 21-22 years old and I'm going between 3 weeks to a month without PMO, then relapsing, with real life sex in between.


    Fast forward, I'm now between 22-24 years old and things are still progressively getting worse. I've now quit porn and masturbating, thinking they may be the culprit. I'd relapse maybe every once in a couple months otherwise, I'd go long periods of time without busting a nut unless it was sex. I got another girlfriend things were great, started to get harder over time thinking it was the comfortability and emotional connection. Didn't watch porn or masturbate. Then broke up. Problem continues...


    Fast forward again. At this point I'm not getting morning hard ons, erections are weak, I'm constantly thinking about it, hands down frustrated as hell again. So, went BACK to the Dr., reexplaining "hey man, y'all say I'm good but why the F*** am I not getting hard" his response, "we'll do another blood test, recheck, and a contrast MRI from head through torso to make sure all veins are lighting up".... everything once again checked out. I got another MRI my back as well to make sure everything was ok back there. Both MRI's checked out. Which is good! But problem persists...


    To finish this off, im now 26 years old. I have no desire to watch porn. Every once in a while I'll stroke it but it doesn't do anything for me. I can go MONTHS without busting a nut. I've become disciplined which is great... I just had another blood test done to recheck AGAIN. I'm in the marines, I workout 5 days a week, eat like a horse (healthy too), sleep is pretty variable (not good), stress is also variable, I drink only on weekends (only 1 day), and having sex with chicks around here is hard (cause there are none). I go weeks/months with nothing, I don't jack off, I don't watch porn. I've even seen a sex therapist as well. I've done my research, I believe, and know what TO do and NOT TO do.


    Today as I post this, my dick just feels kinda lifeless and my sex drive is no where to be found, so it seems. I don't have trouble getting laid but I've become so conscious of the fact that I may not get it up that I'm creating a self fulfilling prophecy. Or a catch 22, meaning is my erection problem causing the excessive worry or the excessive worry causing the erection problem. Matched with anxiety, and all that. Needless to say I'm not going to give up, I've been doing this for 6 years now, cause if my body is healthy it's gotta be something else.


    All and any thoughts will be appreciated. Thank you, thanks for this site, for any replies, god bless, and F***in Merica'.
     
  2. Ocguy

    Ocguy Member

    It's frustrating I know. If you want to continue testing you should focus on the brain.
    There is a brain scan test called evoke. It will tell you what part of the brain is low powered. Or if you are in a Constant stress pattern. Or if you don't handle stress optimally.
    Another brain scan is called a qeeg. Quantatative eeg. This will also tell you what areas are misfiring.

    I went on a multi supplement brain regimen to try and restore all my neurotransmitters. It started working about the 2nd week. But after regular O to porn I completely crashed for 8 months. Slowly libido started creeping back. But I'm in a similar situation now from Testosterone and it's been 6 months and still in a heavy flatline.

    Your problem doesn't seem to be porn anymore, you've been freebok years. based on your description and your work ethic it's pretty safe to say there is a component in your brain that isn't firing. I don't think you're causing this with worry.

    Libido should be like an appetite. Always hungry. If you indulge another hunger for "food" should be right around the corner. U can't worry your libido away. Well, I shouldn't say that, performance anxiety can kill libido, but its more of a terror feeling, and that wouldn't last for 6 years.

    At your age your libido should be off the chart. Hope u can get some answers, we are all looking.
     
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2017
  3. Need4speed

    Need4speed New Member

    Hey man thanks for your reply.

    Yea I don't understand truly. Like I don't even feel the need or want to watch porn which is good but my natural libido doesn't seem to be returning. I've had so many sexual encounters where I want to be turned on and feel that urge between my legs and nothing really fires up. So frustrating.

    Where do you get these tests done and how do they determine what's not firing? Are their ways to restore these areas to normal function? The testosterone is fine, they say at least (like 500 range). I'm producing 3 times normal amount of semen which is good, but no boners!! And yea, I eat healthy and work out like an animal, weights, swimming, I have too ya know.

    Anyways, let me know if you could! Thanks!
     
  4. Fortune20

    Fortune20 Member

    Whats your longest streak of being away from porn, masturbation and orgasm? No bs I dont think we understand how much we have fucked ourselves from masturbating and orgasming 3 times a day, some ppl every day for multiple years and expect for the damage to clear easily ... This is going to have to take alot of grit and sheer determination

    My principal is, however long Ive been bingin on porn and masturbation (which has been over 12 yrs) means that I will need an intense period of abstinence before I can get cured ... I say this because ive been on and off this site since 2011 ... Thats 6 yrs like u ... Im also 26 as well .. In that time, Ive only started recoverin (having almost every day morning wood) once Ive gone on a 328 day long abstinence which Im currently on .. Truthfully, I was getting morning wood and a little life at the 6th month mark but I set my self back wit readin on erotica ... If I watch porn, masturbate, have sex or even read about some of my fetishes I will lose alot of the progress Ive made throughout the yr ... It sucks but I seen how full blown extended hardmode can help an individual ... We are just the unfortunate folks that weren't ever meant to binge on porn

    Some of my friends can do this shit damn near everyday for years and still have normal sex lives .. Maybe it will catch up to them later in life who knows ... Some people give them a yr of porn and they already have ED ... Thats why I ask whats the longest you've stayed clean from P M O ... I wouldnt read too closely on anybody elses path on this site ... We are all our own unique individuals .. Because when it comes down to it seems like you're just goin to need a pure hardmode reboot for an extended period of time ... Then I would integrate rewiring downnn the road to put the final pieces together ... Drastic times require drastic measures ... Still do more tests of course ... On the bright side, some people cant even drink alcohol one night without bein sent back into rehab .. Everybody has there weaknesses ... Ours jus happens to be porn .. It is what it is
     
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2017
  5. FlatEric

    FlatEric New Member

    Hey Need4speed,

    I'm in a similar situation as you are, and there might be quite a few in here who are as well. Why dont we open up a thread for all "post-rebooters"?

    I know, everyone is different. But there could be mistakes that we make and that could be avoided by talking about them. For me there were several times when everything just seemed to work fine down there again for months. And then something must have changed and I lost my libido and my erection strenth again. So there must be some factors apart from porn (I never slipped back) that trigger our ED. And yes, that couldve been too much sex/orgasms and also too much trying out masturbation. But it couldve also be other behaviors that trigger our ED after a reboot. Our brains are probably just very vulnerable to all kinds of influences. Just some ideas: Caffeine and other substances that affect the same brain areas as our porn addiction. Alcohol. Not being in a relationship. Unhealthy sleeping patterns. Stress. Lets share some experiences to save valuable life time.
     
  6. Need4speed

    Need4speed New Member

    Dude, thanks for the reply much appreciated! I totally agree and hear what you're saying. I have a very analytical way of viewings things too so it got to a point where I wasn't even seeing ass or titties, I was like looking at facial expressions and the way they were acting, even tho it was ACTING. I perceived it as reality at one point and that all chicks wanted was that, which is unrealistic.

    Anyways, longest I've ever gone is about 4.5 months hard mode. My problem is I don't watch porn anymore, and I stop myself from masturbatinf simply because I don't have a boner to do so, but it's real life women. I don't have a problem getting laid (not boasting), and i find myself hooking up with girls every week or couple weeks. It's good that it's real life, but I don't have anything consistent like a relationship where I can reword constantly to a woman. Not To mention these hook ups can often jack up the performance anxiety and stress only cause I want to impress/do my best every time, which further increase the ED I think. Either way I WILL find the solution whatever it may be. The morning wood thing still scares the crap out of me though.
     
  7. Need4speed

    Need4speed New Member

    Hey man! Thanks for the reply.. I hear what you're saying. I know for a fact this whole issue with us and everyone else is frustrating because IT IS UNLIKE ANYTHING ELSE. I mean with the body, you break a bone, you set it, cast it, it heals, sometimes even stronger. This problem in our minds is so complex and i think the main issue is ill it isn't a "singular" issue. We can't simply break it down to 1 root cause like many other things in life. Certain things play off eachother, there are chain reactions, if one cog fails, the machine fails, ya know? I have learned one thing and that is the self full filling prophecy is existent in almost everything we do. When we're constantly analyzing every part of our diet and lifestyle we're actually making things worse.

    To be play off your post, yes we have to be healthy because it will only benefit us in recovery but it's important I think to believe whole heartedly we will overcome and get better. Like not overthink too much. Go through necessary trouble shooting and precautions. Once your mind is convinced everything will follow in unison. Minds everything and one thing researchers are still learning are genetic inheritance in the mind. We may have somethin that's slowing guys like us down more so than other males simply due to our genetics. As of now though, gotta stay the course on this, feel me?
     
  8. Need4speed

    Need4speed New Member

    Update: got new blood test results back.

    Testosterone was 1109 ng/dl. Free test was 135.2 pg/ml.

    Idk the ranges but Doc said this was normal no extra supplementation required.
     
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2017
  9. Ocguy

    Ocguy Member

    Hi, I did this test
    https://evokeneuroscience.com/

    Maybe u can contact them and ask for a practitioner in your area.
    The other test is a Qeeg. If you want to try neurofeedback,they will sometimes do a qeeg to see where the brain isn't firing and target that area.
     
  10. shattered

    shattered Member

    Let me just say I can relate to your post, because I started having ED problems while using a medication called Accutane, and for over 20 years I wondered if my problems were some sort of weird permanent side effect to that medication. Please keep that in mind as you read below.

    You've got the right mindset. I know this advice will sound frustrating, but try to things:

    1) Put yourself in sexual situations where you really don't care if you get hard or not.
    2) Remember that there is nothing you can do to "will it up".

    I've struggled for years, and the only time I've had good erections is when I really didn't care if it was hard or not.
    I remember having all sorts of problems getting hard with my wife, but one time we were in a hotel room with the kids and I was laying next to her and there was no way we could have sex, but I was hard as a rock.
     
  11. Need4speed

    Need4speed New Member

    Hey man thanks for your thoughts.

    I'll be sure to remember that. Like the other night I was over a girls place without ANY expectation of having sex and we were kissing and dry humping, then she wanted to do it but I remember being decently hard, about 80%, and it felt good.

    I don't get my sex drive either though. I have good hormone levels and all this stuff and I'm healthy but I'm just NOT getting that aroused when I have a beautiful naked girl infront of me. Like I don't feel that urge between my legs and it drives me crazy cause I should at least be getting aroused by that.
     
  12. Recovered

    Recovered Member

    I have been cured from my ED for about 3.5 years now. Works like a charm almost every time.

    However, there are occasions (thankfully rare these days) when it doesn't work work or when it takes a lot of work to get it up. In my experience this usually happens if I've orgasmed too frequently, i.e. twice in one day or even if I have sex two days in a row. At least there's a higher risk of it happening under these circumstances.

    I think some guys like me have an unusually long refractory period, which in effect manifests itself as a mini-flatline.

    My theory is that frequent masturbating with or without porn sends some guys into a constant refractory period. This is what i think happened to me before I managed to heal. But orgasming too often or masturbating sends me back into this prolonged refractory period.

    What works best for me is to have sex every other day at a maximum with absolutely no masturbating or self-touching whatsoever.






     
  13. Ocguy

    Ocguy Member

    Yea, I've had many posts on this board explaining your theory to a T.

    It's some sort of inflammation that keeps us from recharging properly. I still think it's brought on by low level infections. Anyway, this last stint with Testosterone has really screwed me. I went way past my orgasm threshold.
    It's been months and I'm still trying to recharge.
     
  14. shattered

    shattered Member

    Have you used any medications in the past that could explain this?
     
  15. wecandothis

    wecandothis Member

    Hey man. Just my two cents. Had ED for about 1 year when I was 18 years old. It resolved spontaneously. Then,19, I got into Accutane for one month(20 mg dose, small one for my size). Continued to have optimal erections until I was 22. Then I lost it again. I was PMO'ing-PME'ing like crazy. Then I started rebooting, and I am improving. Quit masturbating guys.

    Still I think that I have to find more answers.Maybe I am shitposting now,but I am somehow convinced that internet addiction(generally, not only porn),video gaming and listening to music excessively have a role to play. Any thoughts? These are behaviours that were developed during the last decades and maybe the human brain cannot cope well with them.
     
  16. Need4speed

    Need4speed New Member

    What's up amigos,

    So I was prescribed 20mg generic sildenifil for "problems that may arise" let's say. I can take up to 100mg and it still doesn't do s***.

    No other medications are being taken. I'm such an all natural guy in everything I do. From eating, drinking, working out, you name it.

    Haven't watched/fapped to porn or anythinfg for probably over 2 months now. I had a sexual encounter this weekend where I barely got hard. She loved the sex she said but I was just so confused and frustrated the whole time because I WASNT getting aroused by this beautiful naked girl infront of me. Eventually I got kinda stiff to penetrate but like I'm not gay and I'm not into any weird crap. All I want to do is get a god d*** normal erection and have fun!

    Needless to say I have no idea what the problem is. I want to have sex but I'm not getting turned on in the moment like I should be and if I do it's a very weak erection. Any thoughts?

    P.S. I don't get random erections, watch porn, masuturbare to porn or without it.
     
  17. Ocguy

    Ocguy Member

    Hey man

    Read this and tell me if you can relate?

    https://www.depressionforums.org/forums/topic/140052-anhedonia-and-emotionl-flatness/

    There are others on that forum that also explain it quite well. I didn't write this explanation btw, but it sums up whats happening on my end. It's not just lack of libido. Everything , from every aspect of life, just feels flat.

    And yea, Viagra won't work if the brain is offline. It doesn't work for me either. Used to - before all this.
     
  18. Need4speed

    Need4speed New Member

    Yo Ocguy,

    I read the post man. That s*** sounds rough. With that said, I CAN relate but only to a certain extent. It was more so when I had my heart broke and I was just depressed all the time wallowing in self pity over this girl but I got over that.

    I guess to simplify it all, It's just my sex drive/libido that feels flat. I just want to FEEL normal again and get turned on and excited when I see a girl with a nice figure, or some boobs, or a nice ass sitting on my lap infront of me. Like I said, the other night had an awesome chick right infront of me butt naked and in my head I was like "those are some boobs, that's an ass, that's a vagina.." felt completely desensitized to it, like no rush of excitement or horniness hit me. Flat. As if those 'feelings' aren't firing per say. I Hate that.
     
  19. Ocguy

    Ocguy Member

    Well, at least your not in total hell. If u can get exited or look forward to other things than maybe there's hope. It's amazing how even in dysfunction there is another part of the brain that longs to be healed. Even in those that are apathetic.

    Anyway did u have issues before the back injury? There are lots of nerves in that area that if damaged can affect arousal and performance.
     
  20. Ocguy

    Ocguy Member

    Try this exercise, get a laser pointer light, turn it on

    Put it in the small of the back
    Clench your butt cheeks, squeeze your toes
    Repeat
    Naa, naa, naa
    Ka,Ka Ka
    La, la, la
    Nyug , nyug, nyug

    Touch the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth a few times
    All at the same time of shining the light in the small of your lower back. This should take all of 30 seconds. Small investment of time

    These exercises stimulate the vagus nerve aND others. I used to do them and get nice good erections. But it would make me wake up repeatedly at night. Like every minute
    I asked the kinesiologist that taught this to me and he said it's never happened with his other patients, (the waking up part). I had to stop though.

    But listen, don't let that deter, you. I have a nervous system disorder for some reason. I got the hiccups for two days straight after hernia surgery, the dr. Said it was highly unusual because he was nowhere near that area. He's had patient with hiccups but it was a different surgery

    Anyway. Give it a shot
     

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