ED, Porn addiction and pre existing fetish (possibly true libido)

Discussion in 'Erectile Dysfunction / Delayed Ejaculation' started by dman25, Jan 10, 2018.

  1. dman25

    dman25 New Member

    Hi all,

    I have been a long time lurker in my many attempts to rid myself of this addiction but i have finally decided to take the plunge today as I am currently on a 15 day streak. Today I began to go down my usual path of taking a peak and then would usually MO, instead I managed to stop myself and come here and decided I need some accountability and perhaps some support from people who understand.

    I would like like to give my background a bit and where I am and see if there is any hope for me. I'm 33 a virgin, had ample opportunity but suffered with bad anxiety and zero happening down there. I have had a gf earlier in my teen years and this was not an issue but that seems like a million years ago. We never had intercourse but we did everything else. I have a lifelong fetish that I had incorporated in this relationship but it was not essential too arousal but helped majorly. The item is not important but I feel a lot of shame with it still and find it hard to accept.
    During this time in my life I gained weight and lost some confidence and began MOing to fantasy of the fetish a number of times a day. Then after this maybe 12 years ago I got access to Internet and Porn. I would say for a period of the last 10 years I have PMO daily to this particular fetish which has evolved and combined with others such as Femdom, humiliation etc. I understand the novelty effect and can see it in my own usage. I do not feel comfortable with the fetish and would not rather have to explain it to a potential partner. I have gotten serious bad anxiety and depression over time and have recently started taking ssri and I find this has helped with my compulsion. I have in a two week period started to wake up with boners which was not happening before as much. I would like to say I have been reading here and made failed attempts for the last two years but I am reinvigorated this time and perhaps the ssri are helping me with the compulsion as I mentioned.
    I have concerns that I will never be able to perform intercourse without my fetish that I have held before porn as I have poised and conditioned every orgasm for so long with this. On the other hand I have small hope when I still like women and body parts and stuff but I think my ED ,porn addiction ,anxiety and fetish is a big cocktail of an obstacle to overcome. I have missed out on many relationships and situations that would have improved my life immensely because of this but looking back will do nothing I have to leave that go. I am just concerned with this fetish having become so conditioned, I understand the gained fetishes will dissipate I just hope I have not messed up my head chemistry too the point of no return. I have to be hopeful otherwise whats the point but I am just looking for people in similar situations who made it out of the fire. Thanks for reading I feel better for sharing and it has helped me blow off some steam. Hope everyone stays on track.
     
  2. 57yrold

    57yrold Member

    It's all about porn and masturbating to artificial stimulation. You can stop this, and it will get better if you choose to stop this.

    The thing that has helped me the most is to learn all I can about porn addiction, PMO, rebooting, re-wiring, etc.

    Check out yourbrainonporn.com and rebootnation.org for some fantastic information. Watch all the videos and read the inspiring success stories.

    I would suggest to decide on a goal. Then set some strict rules that you think will get you there.

    For me, the goal is to be cured of porn-induced sexual problems. (ED, DE)

    My rules are simple:

    I will not look at porn for the rest of my life. Period.
    I will not masturbate, as I want to be cured. Period.
    I will not O until I am able to O inside my wife. Period.

    If I were to do any of those three, even for one second, I would reset my counter and start over at zero. (But that's not going to happen.)


    So educate yourself, set a goal, set rules, stay strong, NO PMO, follow your rules and DO NOT RELAPSE.

    Also, find other things to do: Meditate, Exercise, Go for walks in nature.

    Anything to keep your eyes off the pixels and your hands off your junk.

    Best of luck to you!!
     
    niskanen91 likes this.
  3. dman25

    dman25 New Member

    Thank you for your advice, I think keeping it simple and going with the three rules are the way forward, I over think it so much too.
     

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