Don't Count Days, Just Stay Off Porn & Masturbation

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by 40New30, Nov 26, 2013.

  1. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Had sex last night -- no O. I could have, so there was very little DE, but I chose not too. The dopamine buzz from the sex both inside my body and brain were at a higher level than last time and getting towards normal, in other words it felt good. :)

    I have to admit that despite many of the amazing improvements, I do still get bouts of fatigue and brain fog here and there (PAWs). It's much less than before though!

    One more positive, I started to get a spontaneous erection yesterday...haven't had one of those in a while. It was very odd because I'm still feeling a bit dead down there most of the time, so it was dead... yet growing. Bah ha.
     
    Billy B. likes this.
  2. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    In my understanding Karezza (the PIV part) is not like edging at all, as the man intentionally keeps from getting too het up, just moving enough to stay hard and that's it.
     
    40New30 likes this.
  3. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    My friend told me about this Macha Tea (which I've yet to try) but apparently Zen Buddhists monks use it to help them meditate.
     
    40New30 likes this.
  4. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    I've been inside my wife and wondered if I was still hard yet. Each month more feeling awakens and my penis doesn't feel like it's a separate part of my anatomy. It's one reason why I'm very careful not to let her use her hand on me. When I read on YBOP that the body wires to the hand, that rang like a clarion bell. The quality of my O's is getting better too. For a long time the O was entirely anticlimactic.

    So, a spontaneous boner is excellent. :)

    I love Matcha tea. I particularly like it with vanilla added.
     
    Billy B. and 40New30 like this.
  5. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Sometimes I feel like I need coffee, sometimes not...I cycle it. Green tea is something that I never run into problems with, and yes I've heard that about the macha tea.

    My dopamine and dopamine receptors aren't back to factory settings, or, I have some genetic low dope thing going on, or it's an infection (candida -- I do have that). After another 13 months clean (2 years), I'll know it's not rebooting PAWs causing symptoms anymore, I'll be able to check it off the list. :)

    It would make sense that I may have naturally low dopamine, or something like that, it could have more easily driven me towards the addiction. Don't know...finding out will be part of the adventure.
     
    Billy B. likes this.
  6. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Well I'm back on the coffee...I was just doing it during the juice fast, which lasted 3 days. It wasn't as refreshing as other ones...but I'm glad I did, I'm going to do some more in the future.
     
  7. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    In past reboots I experienced awakening even more strongly...but I have experienced this awakening (at times) over the past 11 months, especially the farther away I get from O's. I think what is going on is I've gone into longer and deeper flatlines as I've gone farther.

    So, in earlier reboots (when I felt awakening-dick-success at 3 or 5 months), this was only temporary success, a glimpse of what was to come permanently in the future. That's what the science seems to point to, and anecdotes.

    In my view there's nothing more frustrating than have libido spike and not feel like your dick is attached to your body. I got that just yesterday.
    And then I got spontaneous wood a few hours later.
    It's all over the map.

    It all makes sense though, our brains wired to being a sexual voyeur...so our brain doesn't make the connection that our dick is our dick.
    Insane.
     
  8. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Your thoughts on this, 40?
     
  9. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    This!
     
  10. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    I agree that karezza is muy bueno and essential for rewiring (for a lot of us)...but, those who have worn down their muscles and nerves through too much PMO/PME shouldn't use it at all. Those guys need to take a full rest from all sex until their inflammation goes down and their tissues heal. (I've been clean 340 whatever days, and I still have some physical imbalances.)

    For guys that have totally unwired from P and have zero muscle imbalances or pelvic pain, then karezza is perfect (it's like training wheels), especially for the first few months of intense rewiring where your brain needs to figure out what real sex is again.

    Once we're fully rebooted, we should all be able to O as much as possible (within reason, age, hormone levels, health), refractory period should be within a normal range.

    My pelvic issues, inflammation, and HF is worlds better now but not perfect...yet, good enough to do karezza a few times a week for about 15 minutes or so (anything more might to be much on my prostate/muscles/pelvic cavity to be totally honest, not sure, but it feels that way).

    My need for rewiring and karezza is super high at this point! As I said a few posts back, my brain doesn't realize that my dick is my dick (there aren't enough neurons along that pathway).

    My main problem right now isn't necessarily low dopamine levels or low dopamine receptors (though I'm sure that is still a problem), the bigger problem is my sexual circuitry still has tons of circuits/wires (though dormant) that point toward pixels, my hand, voyeurism, unreality.

    My brain doesn't quite understand where to get the reward...it needs to be trained and karezza is the safest way because O's won't blast my delicate circuits.
     
  11. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Thanks man.

    So, when you're practicing PIV Karezza-way, you're not edging? You're keeping things to a simmer where you never actually come close to orgasm? Is that how it works for you?

    As you know I have had no issues with ED (just a lil' DE) and I may or may not have some prostate issues. Still I'm feeling like, if I was to have sex again, particularly in the next six months or so it would be prudent to avoid orgasm (to avoid side-effects and/or chaser) and to stay away from anything that might resemble edging. I think my tendency is to kind-of-like-edge during intercourse because I'm veeeeery excited but wanting to hold off on orgasm in order to make it last. Karezza, I'm thinking, may be just the ticket (if I can find a partner who's open to it).

    When I was here rebooting a few years back, there where a number of fellas who practiced Karezza and Karezza-type techniques (including all the yummy non-sexual touch and generally daily nurturing) in the process of rekindling the connection with there long term partners. I seem to remember them saying that their partners where over the moon, felt as though the fella was much more present, during and afterwards. Some of the women where having multiple orgasms for the first time in there lives! I wonder (if it's not too personal) if you might tell us something about how it has been for you and your missus?
     
    40New30 likes this.
  12. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    I bumped Caoimhin's journal and in at his last entry he was over 500 days no P and over 200 days no M and was still noticing changes. Just as we've suspected the healing/rewiring just keeps right on clicking.
     
    Billy B. likes this.
  13. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    @Billy, don't be too afraid of the chaser at this point in your reboot, especially since you don't have PIED. Just be aware of the chaser, it's real, limit your O's when you start rewiring and go slowly and cautiously...go by feel. Always go by feel, you'll know how to proceed, your mood and energy will tell you.

    To get a little more specific and graphic about Karezza, I suppose I am 'edging'...in that I'm going in and out, I'm not just letting lay there. With my lower sensitivity issues I need the stimulation in order to stay hard (usually, not always).

    I think of it this way, I'm rewiring when I have sex, the more the better, so any sex is positive training for my brain.

    If we 'heat up' too much during sex (repeatedly get too close to O) it eventually puts pressure on the prostate, muscles, pelvis -- you could get the blue balls effect. So, it's a combination of the old in and out and stopping to cool off the prostate. If the stimulation gets too low I will start moving in and out again.

    I remember before PIED set in my late 20's, I could literally not move my dick at all during sex and stay hard for minutes on end; this being 'normal', in my view. I'm not there yet, but it took Gabe until Month 15; that's when things really kicked in and sped up for him. His refractory period went from weeks to days to a day.

    There is still some erection difficulty in certain positions for me, and I do not believe I could have sex standing up yet. Gabe had the same problem. It's funny I think the younger guy's journals tend to be a little more erection-centric...and it's the younger guys journals which have given me the most clues on what to look for as far as PIED is concerned.

    @Saville, I remember Cao from the old days, he fell off the map like a lot of 'healed' dudes. I can understand that. As for me, I plan on sticking around long after I'm rebooted, I don't know I just feel a duty to engage. I feel like this problem is so rampant, and so many guys need to hear the right advice.

    I definitely expect noticeable changes through at least 24 months...and again, I will use Gabe as an example, he too noticed changes through year 2.

    All the science with addictions I've read about (and I've read plenty) points to 24 months as the major milestone for significant brain changes. Who knows? Maybe I'm like the monkey in that one study and changes are only beginning for me around 1 year clean?

    Here's a fumbling analogy which might be somewhat accurate, our brains are like a flowering plant, the majority of plant growth takes a long time, and then one day the flowers finally open up.
     
  14. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    That's clearer, thanks, kind've how I pictured it working. And thankyou, also, for your thoughtfully detailed responses, mate. :)

    I love it.
     
  15. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Oh, are you referring to the Gabe from here, or the one who started Reboot Nation? Or is it one in the same fellow?
     
  16. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Oh I also forgot to answer your other question! My wife has always enjoyed our sex life and the longer I have stayed away from PMO the more orgasms she seems to have!!! And here's the really interesting part...that's even when I don't feel that hard. :eek:

    I've read a lot about this subject and I believe that the qualities that make it necessary for a woman to orgasms aren't ALL related to hardness. There are subtle energetic qualities involved here. If you're interested look into the Tao, it talks about heat as being the most important quality for a man's john thompson during sex. :)

    Porn teaches us over and over and over again...that size is all that matters for a man. Hell, I bought it...I always thought I had to be bigger, harder, etc. That is also bullshit, it turns out. It's about energy, internal energy. If you have internal energy you'll be bigger anyway, but bigger isn't the most critical factor.

    PMO/PME addiction drains life/sex energy (even if you don't O), it's a giant vampire to the whole energetic system to put things the most base of terms.
    Sometimes primitive analogies are the best ones, better than flower ones even. :D
     
  17. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Guys, I've almost always had problems with focus and energy, going back to early college (was edging even back then, btw). This issue has only got worse with the reboot (in waves but worse), I still have occasional but severe problems...problems which will last a few days and really mess with my ability to get shit done.

    My work life suffers.

    So, I'm back on pharma meds. Low dose selegiline or deprenyl...can already feel it working. As I've mentioned in the past I think I may have had undiagnosed ADD for a long time, and that this may have driven to deeper into the addiction. I'm back to treating myself and not judging.

    Since the brain science says 24 months to significant brain changes, I'm going to stay on for the next year or so and then try to taper off. If the focus problem is just from porn/edging/arousal addiction and PAWs then my focus should be much improved after a year, if not, well then I will need to treat my ADD for life.

    I can't waste anymore precious time dicking around.
     
  18. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    I would say I follow a similar type of pattern. Bursts of energy for days, followed by complete lack of desire and energy. I'm definitely much better this past year, but there are other things iron out, for sure. One thing is certain that if P and M was still in my life it would all be a non-starter.

    I have also found, like you, that there is a deeper, more core, energy that makes intimacy much better. The dick is, in reality, a symptom of however we're feeling. When we love someone and feel safe...so does the penis. :)
     
  19. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    I think that pattern is very typical for most reboots...whether it takes 90 days or 900 days.
     
  20. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    This is the third or fourth day on meds, and my mind-dick connection is stronger, interestingly enough. Spontaneous erections have increased...it's very obvious I've been lacking normal dopamine levels. Hopefully this will smooth out the focus issues.
     

Share This Page