Don't Count Days, Just Stay Off Porn & Masturbation

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by 40New30, Nov 26, 2013.

  1. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Orgasmed last night. 6 weeks and one day after the last one.

    So far so good...no ill effects! Will monitor and update :)
     
    Billy B. likes this.
  2. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Here are my first thoughts post O.

    The after effects have been very mild, and there are a lot of good signs. :)

    The first good sign is I was actually getting hard about an hour to an hour and a half after orgasm just thinking about sex! Secondly my dick doesn't feel dead today, it feels perhaps more 'alive' than yesterday. Yes, there has been a chaser effect, but that's been mild too; my head was on a swivel today, but no crazy urges for sex...zero urges to watch porn.

    Did get a headache today (bad sign), but sleep was fine last night -- zero insomnia.

    Also right after the O I did not feel drained, I actually felt more awake...a few years ago, and for many years I would literally have to pass out after sex/O.

    The next test will be monitoring erection strength over the following few weeks, it feels like they just won't be weaker, but who really knows? One of the keys to how this reboot finishes up is going to be healing up the bladder/pelvic pain I've had for about a year, totally cutting out the caffeine and doing the leaky gut protocol has been working it's magic.

    I definitely feel like there is light at the end of a this long tunnel. I'm not out of the proverbial woods, there will be plenty of improvements in the coming months, but most of the very ill effects of porn addiction are simply gone.
     
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2017
    Zippy, Dragonslayer and Billy B. like this.
  3. FreakyButPractical

    FreakyButPractical it isn't personal

    Just read that apparently 23andme genetic test for health feedback was bannned by the FDA in the US in 2014..
     
  4. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    Hey 40new30!
    After I woke up this morning, I thought about your recent posts concerning dreams: from what I remember, this may be the first time of my life I remember around 4 different dreams in the same night! :)
    During my first reboot last year, I started, after decades, remembering some of my dreams...
    I take it as a good sign, a sign that some good things happen within my brain :D
     
    Billy B. likes this.
  5. Guy_Stewart

    Guy_Stewart Well-Known Member

    Just stopping by to say "You ROCK!"

    I follow you to ride the wake of your commitment and wisdom. Thank you, Sir.
     
    40New30 and Dragonslayer like this.
  6. Dragonslayer

    Dragonslayer New Member

    Ditto on what Guy had to say. That is a fantastic statement. It gives me hope and encouragement.
     
  7. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    They cannot advertise in certain ways, but you can still take the test, as far as I know.
     
  8. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Thanks, big guy. I have ever faith in the world that you will do just that!
     
  9. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    If that gives you hope and encouragement, read the next post...because there's more good news to report on. And all of you need to keep in mind that I was the worst of the worst category...if I can get clean then anyone can.
     
  10. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Mild headaches continued into this morning and have since departed..but that's about it as far as negative O effects! No brain fog, no depression like symptoms, no weak erections, no libido taking a dive, night wood continues and even got stronger...nothing negative of any major consequence has occurred.

    In addition my nasal cycle is just about as it was before the orgasm, switching back and forth in wide swings.

    How's that for non-linear improvements? After the last O 6 weeks ago it was erratic for weeks and erections tanked, after one orgasm...so we can't quite predict things (sometimes there are big leaps in improvements out of nowhere).

    I don't think I'm ready for a 'normal' orgasm frequency (whatever that might be); going to monitor and slowly increase them.

    Why do I believe I'm not ready to just pump out an O any old time? Couple of reasons, one, I'm still have porn flashbacks and dreams at times and two, I still have moderate DE. There's a few miles left to run in this race.
     
    FreakyButPractical likes this.
  11. Guy_Stewart

    Guy_Stewart Well-Known Member

    I am pretty sure that there will always be a few miles for me, until the day my ashes are laid to rest. That being so, it doesn't depress OR sadden me. In fact, what would life BE without challenge? Your greatest skill for my life, 40New30, is by your journey, you lay down the challenge.

    I admire, respect, and (yeah, I know, I'm kinda mushy this morning) love you for that.

    Keep on, Mon!
     
    40New30 likes this.
  12. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Honored to help, my friend!
    I absolutely challenge every PMO addict to believe and battle and finally win.
     
  13. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Folks really need to get this '90 Days' out of their heads. It's not helpful.

    I admire your measured response to success, 40. You're doing (so!) great but you're also dead right that now is not the time to get sloppy in yr approach.

    What a great post. :cool:
     
    we can do this 40 likes this.
  14. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Nothing much to report other than morning wood is still getting stronger and lasting longer. All is well.
     
    Billy B. likes this.
  15. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    I got some mild headaches right after the O last week, and then the last couple of days they're back...hard to say for sure if it's all related though but I have a feeling it is.

    The great news is that I had absolutely zero cravings for porn post O (which is the most important thing in my opinion -- if I can remain relapse free the healing can continue unabated); I feel like if I saw porn right now I wouldn't get much of a 'buzz' from it...I've had tiny little slips over the last 9 months where I looked at porn on my phone for a few seconds to a few minutes and truth be told most of those times I got no real urge to relapse.

    I'm not condoning porn viewing, it's dumb, but the point is that after you abstain for a long time your brain learns that you're not going to jerk off to it. It kind of learns that it's not sexually arousing anymore because there will be no physical stimulation...and if I may be so bold I would venture that doing that can actually improve unwiring (in a way) because you're removing the pattern of -->see porn-->arousal-->hand goes to penis. Again it's not smart, but if you get no arousal and you don't touch your dick you haven't tripped the trap, so to speak.

    Not condoning, just observing...I would never advocate porn viewing, for anyone.

    Anyway, my libido has dipped a bit and I've noticed some very short bouts of anger and depression-like symptoms post O.

    Not surprised at all really, I know it will take a long time for the wires to get straightened out in my head, there was just way too much wiring to porn over way too many years.

    The hard work is over in terms of beating urges for porn (not that I won't get them again ever), but I feel like my brain still has a long way to go in terms of rebuilding neural wires to real sex. I can still feel it in my brain during sex at times. So it's rewire, rewire, rewire phase.

    I was just re-reading a success story in this forum...it took the gent about 2 years to get to a point where sex was consistently really good. And he continued to see improvements for the next 1 to 2 years. This guy was in his early to mid-twenties, my point being he had way less wiring to porn than I did in terms of duration. It is what it is.

    As time goes on I'm certain that longer reboots will become much more the 'norm', if they haven't already.

    The old memories are still popping up like mad in my head most days, it's really kinda cool. Many of the memories are so dang old, but they also run the gamut of the timeline, 10 years ago, 31 years ago, 22 years, all over...I wonder if that types of thing goes away the better we get or if it fades? As the brain is rewiring, are those memories in some way discarded neurons? Or are we just able to access areas of the memory circuits that we couldn't before? A combination of the two? Who knows.

    Wishing everyone a healthy porn free weekend!
     
    Lowdo likes this.
  16. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Totally love yr posts, 40.

    Thanks for continueing to share.

    What a journey...
     
    40New30 likes this.
  17. Guy_Stewart

    Guy_Stewart Well-Known Member

    Just thought I'd pop over and say, "Thank you!" once again for keeping me in line.

    Some wisdom I gleaned TODAY from you:

    .

    This is both encouraging AND discouraging! I'm going to opt to take the ENCOURAGING as the stronger message for me; the discouraging as a cautionary tale...

    ENCOURAGING: That after so many days, you still struggle. That's NOT good for you, but it DOES GIVE ME HOPE! That I can and WILL survive the rewiring.

    CAUTION: That my brain STILL has a long way to go in terms of rebuilding neural wires to real sex. I am not "done". In fact, I will NEVER "be done". I am a long-term work in progress.

    Love ya, 40New30! Love ya lots.
     
    40New30 likes this.
  18. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    It's a long strange trip :)
     
    Billy B. likes this.
  19. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    I don't know if an addict is ever really done (we will carry the propensity for that addiction for life)...but I do think there is an end stage where you've completely unwired from the addiction pathways. Definitely not there yet.

    It takes a long time to get to that end stage finish line when you were addicted a long time and were a heavy user - like me. :)

    Love you too, buddy.
     
    Billy B. likes this.
  20. Dragonslayer

    Dragonslayer New Member

    It is almost definitely multifactorial, so it is hard to put an exact timeline on the end stage, but from some sources I have read I am thinking maybe the end stage takes 2-3 years to reach if the addiction has been severe/life long. Probably the category that most on this forum fall into.

    That seems like a daunting task, but I have read on comments and forums of people relapsing with even more than on year of abstinence. Although the recovery after these relapses seemed to be easier for them.

    What do you think? 2-3 years? I agree with Billy B. That whole 90 days to rewire is garbage. It just sets the foundation IMHO.

    I definitely agree with the idea of "Once an addict, always an addict." But surely there comes a point where you are in total control, and would really have to choose to go back.
     

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