Don't Count Days, Just Stay Off Porn & Masturbation

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by 40New30, Nov 26, 2013.

  1. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Guys I would like to report that I do not feel well the day after the orgasm -- headaches, fatigue. I remember that this happened before when I introduced orgasm after a long period of abstinence previously, the negative effects lasted about a day. Eventually this should stage pass.

    For now I am planning to orgasm about once every 2 - 4 weeks and see how things go.
     
  2. 40...it's time I finally ask - was that Gaddafi in your previous avatar???? it's been killing me for SOOOO long...ha. no, seriously, who was it?
     
  3. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Feeling better already. So maybe the fatigue/headache was just serious jet lag? Man, I just don't know...if that's all it was I'm very happy. Still going to space out O's though.
     
  4. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    No dude, it was Bono! (I'm Irish.)
     
  5. Get out! Ha...totally looked like Gaddafi smiling from like the 80's or something. Hmm, I guess I owe Bono an apology...better looking guy and MUCH better person! PS - are you familiar with Trash Can Sinatras (Scottish, I know, but close by!) and Gun??? Two of my favorite bands.
     
  6. WRAT

    WRAT Active Member

    Thanks for posting on my journal. It's good to see the progress you are making. So glad to be back on this forum.
     
  7. 2BFree

    2BFree New Member

    That's great to hear. I struggled deeply with PMO for so many years and although I wanted desperately to stop, I never really decided to. I tried a few times in recent years, but I just got pulled back in after 2 or 3 days.

    For some reason, I just recently decided (about 2 weeks ago) that it had to stop. That "sick and tired of being sick and tired" moment with the broad scope of life in mind. I actually don't even stress about future slip ups because it's the net-net I'm after. I guess breaking the addictive behavior. It has to be done for good so I can have the other aspects of life I want, and to get back what I lost because of P.
     
  8. FreakyButPractical

    FreakyButPractical it isn't personal

    Apparently the hyperthalamus controls sex drive and I remember hearing that if one has a large hyperthalamus they have a larger sex drive.
    Don't know how much truth's in it but the same study also used this theory to explain promiscuity, particularly in bi/homosexuals..
     
  9. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Wouldn't this just explain promiscuity in general?
     
  10. FreakyButPractical

    FreakyButPractical it isn't personal

    Basically yeah.
     
  11. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    I used to play bass in a number of bands and knew a lot more about music when I was a younger duder. Though I have not heard of that first band I have heard of Gun...I will be checking both out on Youtube today to investigate more, I'm always up for scouting new tune-age!!!
     
  12. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Glad to see you back, buddy. So easy to go down into the abyss....which is why it's extra awesome to see a faller brother come back.
     
  13. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    I definitely wouldn't stress about the potential (or perhaps inevitable) slip ups...they are part of the healing process. But, I must admit that just improving the net-net won't get you very good 'results'...you absolutely must get squeaky clean to get better.

    Glad you're ready to conquer the beast! Welcome to the most helpful porn addict forum around.
     
    2BFree likes this.
  14. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Awesome and scary, it is both.

    The hypothalamus, from what I have read, it intimately involved with the nasal cycle which I have written about a bit throughout my journal. It is a scary long period, but the reality is that A LOT of the crap is cleared out in the first 12 months on so, even the first 6 months. It depends on your addiction, how much did you use porn? For how long? Etc. I was the worst of the worst...not bragging, just a fact :)
     
  15. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Did you know that cardiovascular exercise increases the size of the hypothalamus and staves off age related shrinkage? Yep. Meditation does too.
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2017
  16. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Alright so update time.

    There was definitely back lash from the orgasm, mostly in the form of headaches and fatigue..the symptoms were too severe with too many headaches to be coincidence (headaches being one of my primary withdrawal symptoms during early reboot).

    So, my plan is just to keep going forward, limiting orgasms as much as possible until I don't get those effects anymore. Too bad my wife loves it when I orgasm inside of her...don't they all though?

    Here's an interesting note, my infamous nasal cycle seemed to halt for about 36 hours post orgasm. And now that it's back -- the rhythm is highly irregular.

    It's supposed to cycle back and forth every 2 hours or so, but as I sit here and watch the Steelers pound the Dolphins in oblivion I noticed the cycle go from left to right and back to left all within about 15 or 20 minutes. Not normal. Unbalanced.

    It's absolutely fascinating, awesome and scary to quote 2BFree....such incredibly powerful brain changes have occurred in my head over three decades of wiring but they are now reversing themselves.

    Where would I be if I had not discovered these things? Not discovered this forum? I don't want to think about that...that reality doesn't exist in this universe.
     
  17. Endeavour

    Endeavour Member

    Hi 40
    Another former brother here. back for slightly different but broadly the same reasons. I had got to about 3 years PMO free and decided to move on. Happily I am still PMO free but about a year ago I slipped into another old sexual compulsion - massage parlours and the like . In my darkest days both that and PMO were running in parallel and during the three years that I successfully gave up PMO I also gave up that compulsion as well. I was feeling pretty good about myself when a combination of a certain cockiness and a sudden shock - the death of a friend was used to allow myself to indulge again. looking back now it was more arrogance than anxiety and it was my choice. I thought that I needed / deserved it and I told myself that it was ok . Since then I have struggled and in the last year the longest I have managed was 42 days. I am now 2 days in and am setting out again. I desperately want to get back to that place where I was 12 months ago and recover my self esteem. Will be around here for the foreseeable future. Will try to catch up with you.
     
  18. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    :)!!!
     
    GottaChange76 likes this.
  19. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    We all get a little cocky when we're doing well and we forget what's still inside our brains. Major stressors drive people back to addictions, often after many years sober, which is why we all need each other. Glad you're back!

    I'm interested in here about your addiction to massage parlors and the like...you need not post it publicly of course. What I am interested in is -- does that addiction give you the same symptoms as PMO? Erection problems? Does it sap your concentration/focus? Does it cause anxiety/depression symptoms? Does it take over too many hours of your life? I'm curious because I have a feeling as I heal from PMO I could be drawn into such things...it's a strong hunch. My sex drive (when normal) is very high.
     
  20. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    It's good to be confident, more important to just make a firm commitment that porn and masturbation are not options (ever). It's hard to describe how to get to that place, I guess it just takes hitting rock bottom, did in my case. I'd say rock bottom for me was about a year ago when I had binge relapsed during the holidays, the headaches were hell on earth.

    The times PMO'ing per month or week is a somewhat minor number to track. It is the time spent PMO'ing and the amount of time seeking/clicking, it's really the edging and clicking combined that drive dopamine sky high for hours on end.

    Therefore I would say the most important number in determining severity is the number of hours 'using' P per week...I can sadly report that I was up to 50+ hours per week at times, all my free time. I was very sick, but I, of course, forgive myself because I was living in ignorance. And forgiveness is a necessary component of getting better.
     

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