Don't Count Days, Just Stay Off Porn & Masturbation

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by 40New30, Nov 26, 2013.

  1. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    So, I finally made an account, been lurking on here for months, been rebooting for over one year wtih many successes and many failures.

    I've seen great results at times, none at others, I've relapsed many times, but I've kept going.

    Anyway I'm in my second major reboot at about Day 57 or so. I'm going for at least 100 days, and probably 150 to 200. Wish me luck.

    Morning wood returned last night with a vengeance. I only remember getting morning wood in the last 25 years while under the influence of generic ED medication. Woo-hoo!!

    More to come...
     
    vpandia likes this.
  2. Libertad

    Libertad Active Member

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Sounds very good and is a motivation for me to keep on track.
    I have still no MW or WD.
    All the best.
    Libertad
     
  3. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Thanks Libertad, hang in there, looks like you're doing really good.

    I don't remember having MW during my last "major" reboot which lasted roughly 60 days before orgasming with my girlfriend. Although I did notice a HUGE improvement in my erection quality, if I had to put a percentage on it, I'd say they were 50 - 70% better than pre-reboot. (Messed things up by relapsing big time...about 5 times, or every weekend...this addiction is insidious...this was after months being relatively "clean".)

    Rebooting is completely non-linear and unpredictable in my experience, different withdrawal symptoms and benefits fade in and out for a long while.

    I first knew rebooting could work after going around 4 weeks without PMO around 15 months ago. I was sitting in the June sunshine having lunch and I felt happy for no reason at all. Also had no trouble flirting with the waitress...felt completely natural. I'd forgotten what happiness felt like.

    Since that time I've felt these highs many times, lots of ups and downs.

    My personal observations tell me that anything sexual in 2D as well as masturbation must be completely removed from my life to stay clean and fully reboot, as little "peeks" at P and MO take me right back into relapse every single time. This is my strong recommendation to new guys.

    It's getting easier and easier every day. Hope this thread helps someone, I know other's contributions have helped me a crap ton.
     
  4. fcjl8

    fcjl8 The only path for me

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Wow , great start man! Good insight into the process. With your healthy approach you will not need "luck".
     
  5. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    I have a girlfriend and we see each other every weekend and have sex. However, I have not orgasmed in over 60 days...how am I doing it?

    Well, this might be a revelation for some guys, but SSRI drugs are used for premature ejaculation and they basicially shut my orgasm function off, as well as lower libido. I'm taking the lowest possible dose possible for depression and I can have sex and not O. It's really helping me with my reboot, and I think it could help others.

    Will I stay on SSRI's forever, I don't know. I will certainly try to come off of them at some point, but I truly have suffered from depression/anxiety (definitely associated with hours of burning out my brain cells with porn), so I take them. AND...they help me stay straight with no PMO and have a girlfriend, who's completely satisfied. I take a tiny sliver of Viagra to get hard nowadays, less than 12.5 mg. I think and I'm like rock, and much bigger than pre-reboot.

    Do I want to get off of Viagra? Hellz yeah. But, for now it's helping me rewire and stay in a relationship.

    I'm not a pill popper, but in the short term these are helping with my reboot and my depression (which I've had for years). Is the depression a result of PMO? Quite possibly, but I'm not coming off these medications until I'm ready. They help manage withdrawal symptoms, in my experience as well.

    I see a future with no medications in the future, but I'm pretty sure it's months away, and I'm cool with that. One of the last times I was having sex with my girlfriend I could feel my brain searching for images that I used to jerk it to (not even video really, just images)...my brain is super wired to fantasy, pictures, videos, and what not. How could it not be?

    I think of it this way I've spent countless hours watching porn, conjuring fantasy, and jerking it. In comparison I've only spent maybe a few hundred hours having sex with real partners. So, let's guess it's a 90 - 10 ratio, built over some 28 odd years. I'm pretty sure unwiring all that and rewiring completely to ONLY real live women is going to take time...months, maybe years.

    Sure, my erection quality is greatly improved...but for complete or almost complete de-indexing of those 28 years of wires, I'm expecting that improvement will continue for a long, long time.

    And you know what, I look forward to it. In addition to rewiring, I'm doing all the other things guys talk about to improve my life and the synergy is incredible.

    30 or so days to a 90 day streak milestone...woo hoo!!
     
  6. bright_eyes

    bright_eyes Master of My Own Mind?

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Great report, 4030. Keep the fire burning, man.
     
  7. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Thanks, bright! Things are going great, and it's due in large part to everybody on this and other porn addiction sites sharing their stories and advice.

    Just another report, got more morning wood again last night...I'd say probably 65 to 70% hard multiple times upon waking. And remember, I had no morning wood for years...so, that's huge progress. (I didn't think not having MW was weird, I thought I was just getting older...nope.)

    It's like I keep saying, if you keep going the progress comes, it's been a long time since I started this, many months, but thing keeps getting better. Heroic moods come and go, but things keep improving steadily upwards on many fronts.
     
  8. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    "Modifications of the nasal cycle in patients with hypothalamic disorders: Kallmann's syndrome.
    Galioto G, Mevio E, Galioto P, Fornasari G, Cisternino M, Fraietta L.
    Source

    Department of Otorhinolaryngology, University of Pavia, Italy.
    Abstract

    The nasal cycle is a phenomenon characterized by cyclic changes in the airflow resistance of each nasal fossa from congestion or constriction of the nasal erectile tissue. This phenomenon is caused by alterations in the influence exerted by the autonomic nervous system and is believed to be regulated by a hypothalamic center. In order to verify this hypothesis on the hypothalamic regulation of the nasal cycle, the authors studied a group of subjects with Kallmann's syndrome. This disorder is characterized by coexisting hypothalamic hypogonadism and hyposmia or anosmia due to hypothalamic and olfactory center hypoplasia. An anomalous nasal cycle was found in all the subjects with Kallmann's syndrome. This disorder might be related to hypothalamus atrophy."

    Has anyone else noticed there nasal cycle restarting after rebooting? Mine has.

    This phenomenon correlates with Gary's theory that porn addiction effects the Hypothalamus. I hope Gary will find this post. If any mod sees it, please pass it along.

    Thanks.
     
    Healed7 likes this.
  9. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    I orgasmed today from sex. Shyte!! I tried not to, but the good news is that I feel fine, no chaser and no depression/anxiety waves. Could be that I'm closer to healed than I thought.

    I'm going to wait 30 days and orgasm again. My g/f's birthday is January 2nd, so that's my plan.

    And then I'm going to go another 90 days no O from January 1st to March 31st or so.

    One thing I notice is that now the aftermath of orgasming is nothing like PMO relapse aftermath. In fact, I actually feel better right now, almost out of any type of flatline fog. When I first O'd during my first 30 day reboot, I felt huge waves of anxiety wash over me. Now...nada. I'm healing up.

    I'm going to treat O's like a once and a while treat for a long time. As Gary's analogy goes, I'm not going to put a lot of weight on a still healing broken leg.
     
  10. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Just a quick update on mood following the O after 60+ days. It's fantastic.
    However, a few things are going well in my life, so that is contributing as well.

    The great news is no chaser. I did grab my solider and tug on him this morning for around 30 seconds in the shower to see what my erection quality was like. It's not bad at all...curious to see what it is in 7 - 14 days.

    As I recall it took Gabe an extra 7 months after curing PIED to get super hard with just touch alone, no fantasy. Therefore, I think I'll be mostly healed in around 6 - 9 months.

    And if not, who cares, the improvements will keep coming, and the addiction urges are very tame now. Of course, I'm still vigilant. But, I know I'm kicking it's ass and I've turned quite a few corners in the last year.

    Keep going, brothers...
     
  11. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Another quick update (I am chatty today) because I think this is important. After the O yesterday I feel better than I have in a long time.

    My informed assumption is that an O can bring a man out of a long flatline.

    I also still feel connected to my dick, brain to dick connection - check, it has life.

    This whole process if fascinating. I told my Dad the other day that navigating my depression was fascinating as well...and it is, it can be hell, but it is fascinating (I'm too smart for my own good sometimes.)

    After reading many of the reports on this and other forums, I wonder if this affliction has a higher propensity towards guys with higher IQ's? I have a sneaking suspicion it does. Maybe some researcher decades from now will read this and do a study.

    Will guys still be using porn decades from now? I sure hope not, truly hope the word that it's as addictive as crack gets out there.

    In fact I'll take it a step further, if word doesn't get out more rapidly and we don't turn this around our society is in deep trouble; I'm convinced there are millions of young men out there just absolutely frying their dopamine receptors out.

    It's truly a scary thought. The compilation fetish porn that was being made (and I'm sure still is) at the height of my addiction was getting more and more intense every week, truly brain frying stuff. I bet a few months viewing that savage stuff burns out plenty of receptors.

    Peace, brahs...
     
  12. Apuleius

    Apuleius Guest

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Welcome aboard, 40n30 !!
     
  13. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Thanks Apuleius! I've read a few of your posts and found them to be a great read, thanks for sharing. Sharing means caring. :D
     
  14. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Another quick update...feeling really awesome after that recent O!!

    Very enlightening...it would seem that porn and masturbation
    are most definitely the main culprits as theorized. Guess I've gone
    long enough in my reboot to "tolerate" some O's.

    Word.

    But, I definitely intend on doing a few more no O stretches because my erections
    aren't where they could be...still feeling a little disconnect between real world
    stimulation and erection. Not a surprise, I mean I fricking wired my brain WAY
    MORE to my hand, fantasy, pics, and vids than to the real external world.

    Another morning wood last night, which is f*ing incredible because
    I didn't have that for years and years, even in my 20's.

    Wanking + porn = extremely draining in so many ways.
     
  15. LTE

    LTE Master Of My Domain

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    I don't think that orgasms from real sex will hurt your recovery.
     
  16. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Thanks, LTE. I'm starting to see things that way, and I'm kind of amazed by it.

    So, as you who have read know, I orgasmed last Wednesday during sex after about 60+ days of no orgasms. It's been about ohh...let's call it 5 days.

    And I'm here to report that my libido is fairly high, moods are even kneel, and the morning wood continues. In fact...

    TRIGGER ALERT

    I had a very erotic dream last night about my ex's daughter and oral sex....lord have mercy. The only reason I bring it up is because I used to fantasize about her...sue me. Anyways, it's interesting that the pathways are trying to intrude into dreamland...they sure as hell aren't going to be getting any love from my hand or my brain.

    END TRIGGER

    So, in closing, I'm really starting to agree with LTE, that orgasms during sex don't hurt me at this stage...or, at the very least, they aren't setting me back.

    That I will fully agree with; at this point orgasms from sex aren't setting me back. It's taken over a year with many relapses to get to this stage, but I am here.

    What did set me back earlier this year was: edging, viewing pics, viewing videos, fantasy...basic relapses in their various forms.

    I'm still going to wait to O again until January 2nd. And then take the rest of the winter months off from O. According to TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) men shouldn't orgasm in the winter months. Perhaps this tid bit will help some of you all along your sexual health journey.

    Paz...
     
  17. LTE

    LTE Master Of My Domain

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Weird dreams seem to be part of the process. As long as you don't dream about me I'm fine with whatever flits through your mind while you are sleeping. :) I had an extremely vivid sexual dream a few weeks back. I still am amazed by it. It's just part of the deal.
     
  18. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Thanks for sharing, LTE. It's super encouraging to know that someone further down the path that I is still being amazed by their journey up the mountain.

    I had and still do have a gut feeling that I will be experiencing positive changes from containing this addiction for many months and years to come. It's both fascinating and honestly, quite fun.

    I promise to keep Mike from Breaking Away out of dreamland :)
     
  19. fcjl8

    fcjl8 The only path for me

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Hi 40New30,

    I have continued to enjoy orgasms, with my wife only, during my current walk away from many decades of PMO.

    Besides some residual "hangover"/chaser, which I can handle, they have brought us closer together and have been beneficial overall to my recovery.

    You are doing great!
     
  20. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Wow fcjlc, that's really great to know.

    I'm still a little "scared" to have too many O's, because I noticed that I made so much
    progress while being strict with no PMO. I definitely plan on loosening things up within the next few months and going to a more frequent O schedule.

    For me ANY M (and of course P) are completely out of the question, and good riddance, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. :)
     

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