Done this before but back again

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by Mudshovel, Mar 12, 2017.

  1. Mudshovel

    Mudshovel New Member

    I'm 28 years old. I had this problem years ago and successfully dealt with it thanks to this site. So I know for a fact it works. But the last 2 years havent been that great and I fell back into the habit. This has negatively impacted my marraige. Anyway today was my first day.

    Did I think about porn or sex today?
    No but thats because I kept myself busy.

    Did I get 8 hours of sleep?
    Yeah but its also the weekend and I dont know how feasible its going to be during the week. I could definitely get 7 but 8 would cut into whatever little free time I have.

    Did I do some kind of healthy activity?
    Yeah I went hiking up a mountain with my wife, step kid, and dog. At the top of the mountain there was some medival castle ruins and the view was good. After we came home the kid tried to wrestle with me and maybe I should have just let her win but whatever we still bonded. It was a pretty good day.

    Did I interact with a woman?
    Well I'm married so I have my wife to talk to but we haven't been getting along lately. Hopefully doing this helps but this isn't the only reason we've got issues.
     
  2. Mudshovel

    Mudshovel New Member

    Day 2 pretty smooth. Randomly had a boner for no reason while I was watching a movie but wasn't aroused by anything. My sex drive still feels pretty low.

    Did I think about porn or sex?
    No because low sex drive

    Get 8 hours of sleep?
    Yeah

    Healthy activity?
    I didn't do shit but watch Netflix. I'm gonna disconnect my xbox so I don't waste all my time watching TV shows and movies.

    Interact with a woman?
    Again I got into a bunch of pointless arguements with my wife. There's no other females I talk to really.

    Halfway to day 4 which is where I always seem to relapse. Stay strong everybody!
     
  3. Mudshovel

    Mudshovel New Member

    Yo whats up! Day 3 successfully completed. Again sex drive pretty low but slightly picking up. I noticed women in the gym working out but the feeling wasn't nearly as strong as its been before. Erections just come and go randomly without any arousal.

    Did I think about sex or porn?
    Not porn but yeah I admired the fine looking ladies in the gym without being an obvious creep lol. I did catch myself and stop though.

    8 hours of sleep?
    Nah 7. Getting 8 hours is hard during the week. Melatonin helps.

    Healthy activity?
    Yup I was at the gym

    Interaction with a female?
    This is the only one I can't see myself improving and thats because it doesn't depend on just me. My relationship with the wifey is deteriorating pretty bad. I told her I was doing this and why and she said "i'm supposed to wait 90 days before we have sex, really?" It was bad enough admitting my problem to her so is it too much to ask she just be a supportive spouse and be there for me? How are we supposed to do anything if I can't even get turned on?
     
  4. Mudshovel

    Mudshovel New Member

    Hey what's up. It's been a few days since I posted. I finally made it past day 4. I should be on day 8 right now but I reset on my last day 4 and felt too ashamed to post about it. But hey I'm here now on the beginning of day 5. I downloaded a website blocker onto my phone which only my wife has the password to unlock incase it blocks a non pornographic site so thanks to that I made it all the way to day 5. I couldn't look at porn now even if I wanted to but I wonder what will happen if one day I get a new phone or decide I don't need this blocker anymore. Will I reset again because I'm so dependent on it?

    I HAVE been thinking about sex particularly in the early morning and tempted to jerk off to some dream I had

    I've been getting 7-8 hours of sleep

    I've been lifting and making progress on all my lifts

    I've been getting along better with my wife.

    So despite that reset a few days ago I'm back on track.
     
  5. Mudshovel

    Mudshovel New Member

    Day 5 is done. I was home alone today and really felt the urge but thankfully the blocker saved me.

    Did I think about sex and porn YES

    Did I get 8 hours of sleep? NO more like 6 1/2

    Did I do a healthy activity? Yeah I ran 3 miles and lifted in the evening

    Did I interact with a woman? Yeah I've been getting along better with my wife but I think one of the reasons I even fell into this habit is because I am just not sexually attracted to her anymore. Yes I understand that porn conditioned my brain into thinking beautiful porn stars are the norm and most real women don't look like them but I still think it's reasonable to expect your partner to be in shape and not overweight when you're busting your ass trying to be fit. Every time I mention it to her she gets defensive about it which is normal but guess what it doesn't make her problem disappear. I really don't know how this is going to end up...

    Anyways I'm now past day 5. New target is making it a week which is in just 2 more days. Good night and stay strong.
     
  6. Mudshovel

    Mudshovel New Member

    I've done a full week. I couldn't have made it without the website blocker. I do get urges and think about sex before remembering and stopping myself. I see a lot of women in the gym and work that are honestly not even super good looking but I don't even care my mind goes to imagining having sex with them.

    I get 7 hours of sleep minimum and do some form of exercise that I have to really push myself at (today was hill sprints) so hopefully my brain's dopemine levels are returning to normal.

    Still not attracted to my wife but that's not my fault. I've been waiting patiently for her to lose weight for almost 2 years. I found her a workout routine that she could handle months ago after she asked me for help but just found out she hasn't even been following it. She eats unhealthy foods and claims ignorance like she didn't know it was bad. Just found out her actual weight is about 60 lbs more than what she told me. I just don't think she cares about being healthy and fit like I do. This is one of the reasons I fell back on porn.
     
  7. Rengaw

    Rengaw Will log on every other week from 13/10/2016

    Welcome back to the forums Mudshovel. Installing a blocker is a big step and I'm glad to see it has paid off.
    Keep on going!
     
  8. Mudshovel

    Mudshovel New Member

    I'm honestly at a loss here guys. I was doing great until my phone updated and just like that no more blocker. When I first realized it was gone I thought oh ok well I don't really need it anyway. As soon as my wife left me home alone I reset. And then again. Basically I binged on it. This whole time I thought I was doing good it was only because I knew the blocker would stop me. Mentally I made no progress with being addicted. This sucks
     
  9. Mudshovel

    Mudshovel New Member

    What's up guys finally some good luck came my way. I'm currently on a work related trip in a foreign country. This involves sleeping in a large tent with 10 other people and working all day. The bathrooms are pretty disgusting and everyone would rather just get in do their thing and get out as fast as they can before a spider crawls up their butt. And because we're not in our home country our cellphone data is very limited. This is the worst place in the world to PMO. I'm currently on day 11 and by the time I get out of here if I manage not to relapse I'll be on day 19. By then I should be in the flat line stage. That's pretty much the only good thing about this trip.
     

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