Does anybody feel the emotional vacuum during the abstinence

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by J4mes, Jun 12, 2018.

  1. J4mes

    J4mes New Member

    Hello everyone, I am new here,

    Do you feel this vacuum, after you abstain from P say a week+ , no MO either.
    There is this desire to go back into P just because of the loneliness or hunger for intimacy, and not because of the lust. However, it isn't that strong.

    Any advice concerning this emotional vacuum?
    I have online friends and physical friends whom I'll be meeting soon, so I'm not the exact "lonely" per say, but that you crave the closeness and intimacy from PMO(which we know is all a lie and will just build the vacuum deeper) .

    Additionally I also I crave conversation with this particular girl I like, and when I dont get to talk to her, i feel the loneliness building. I'm not in a relationship with her.

    I often tell myself, i don't need PMO, as long I get to speak to this girl i like, but then,,, as I was just thinking, even having a girlfriend, i dont think its the answer, is it? Often I read it is not.

    sometimes you just wanna have this close talk with someone, but talking with normal people dont fill that gap. anyway, just share me your thoughts about the vacuum, those of you that have quitted PMO.
     
  2. doneatlast

    doneatlast Active Member

    I do. Loneliness has always been a major trigger for me.

    What we need to remember is that the emotional vacuum is there during porn use as well. We just don't notice it because we're self-medicating. As we do that, our chances of finding real ways out of our loneliness dwindle. Porn just makes us think we're helping. It is like scratching a wound... might feel good, but it is just becoming more inflamed and infected the more we scratch.

    Making a goal to interact with this girl is good, but placing your hope on her to quit porn won't end well. It is too much pressure to put on her and on yourself. Instead, look at it this way: I want to quit porn because she is worth the effort.
     
    Londoner likes this.
  3. J4mes

    J4mes New Member

    thanks for your reply.
    the emotional vacuum couple with the lust of sexual things is hard to avoid. even if i do other things, yeah its on the mind, addict style. need some help when the bodily crave comes, quite severe
    have to go out, can't stay home
     
  4. Gilgamesh

    Gilgamesh Seize the day

    I think that it is not so much an emotional vacuum, but rather suppressed emotions. In my case when I abstain I feel extremely insecure, anxious, down and angry. I can feel all of them in one day and be fine the next. I think it is really important to pay attention to these emotions. It means it is time to deal with them in the right way: writing, talking, accepting, and at the same time making plans of how you really want to live your life, including finding a girl for sharing and intimacy.
     
    doneatlast likes this.

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