Did Porn Make Me Gay?

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by Robot555, Jan 14, 2013.

  1. Immature

    Immature Member

    Did you relapse on porn after the "sex with that male gay friend"? I don't know that just the sex itself would count for resetting your counter....

    Just curious...
     
  2. Immature

    Immature Member

    Wa
    Sorry I misunderstood, was only responding to your: "I was hard for me to keep another streak after that one, now I am back on the horse, 13th day."
     
  3. RegretFullestFappin

    RegretFullestFappin New Member


    The numb feeling afterwards.... The slip into depression years later. The numbness of life... every second every day..

    3 years ago as an 18yo heavily medicated virgin... I kissed a tranny.. then another.. I kissed one trannies tits.. Disgusting.. How could I? It haunts me.. FUCK IT im done Ima take anti depressants and alchohol
     
  4. Immature

    Immature Member

    The business with trannies is not who you are, it's completely created by the porn.

    Honestly, that is just NOTHING at all.

    The science is in - you know who are interested in trannies? STRAIGHT guys. You know who has absolutely no use for Tranny porn? GAY guys.

    Here is the long form: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/who...philic-men-characterizing-men-sexual-interest

    Comments: Men who become attracted to transgender (colloquially, shemale) porn/partners are typically heterosexual in their identification and arousal patterns--that is, typically not homosexual or even bisexual.

    The researchers are unable to speculate why this taste develops, but many internet porn users ascribe this fetish to heavy internet porn use and the search for something more novel over time. Many also report it disappears after quitting porn.

    Here are the graphs of responses of straight men, gay men, and men who like trannies (GAMP, for "Gynandromorphophilia" ) and how they react to porn videos of men, porn of women, and porn of trannies:

    S0033291715002317_fig1t.jpeg


    Look at who ISN'T getting into porno videos of men: that would be the straight guys AND the GAMP guys.

    These graphs show the reaction of various groups of men - heterosexual, homosexual, and men aroused by trans gendered aka shemales aka ladyboys aka trannys. That last group are labeled GAMP, for "Gynandromorphophilia", the scientific name used in this paper for those men.

    So the botom axis shows the different kinds of videos the men were shown, and the height of points in the graph increase with increased arousal.

    There are 2 graphs because they measured the arousal of the men 2 different ways: they asked the men how much each sample of porn aroused them ("Subjective Arousal"). The "Genital Arousal" graphs were produced by direct measurement of genital reaction: "Genital arousal was assessed using an indium-gallium strain gauge that measured changes in the circumference of the penis."

    As is apparent in the graphs, the GAMP men reacted to erotic videos of men and those of women, just like the heterosexual men. The GAMP men reacted more strongly to the GAM (shemale/tranny) porn than the heterosexual men, as expected. The homosexual men reacted much less strongly to the tranny porn that did the GAMP men, and a little less strongly than the heterosexual men.

    The science is in: the guys who like shemale videos are not gay.


    The YBOP article includes the research study it draws on.
     
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  5. Immature

    Immature Member

    And now the fear of being Gay - HOCD:

    Quoting below from https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/exposure-therapy-hocd - there is a lot more at the link and anybody who is suffering badly from fears about their sexual orientation should read the whole thing. I've tried to capture some of the important points, plus I've added emphasis where I thought it might be helpful:

    Intrusive worries that someone has become gay—although he (she) has been straight for years with no doubts—have gained the label HOCD, homosexual obsessive-compulsive disorder.
    ...
    Briefly, the difference between HOCD and porn-related HOCD is:

    • OCD + homosexual fears (or event) = HOCD
    • Years of porn use + distress about escalation to gay/transsexual porn = porn-related HOCD
    Random events in life, such as unthinking comments by peers at vulnerable moments, can cause some people to start questioning their sexual orientation compulsively (HOCD).
    However, today an emerging impetus for HOCD is chronic overstimulation, which leaves the brain less responsive to everyday pleasures and thus desperate for sensation. Highspeed pornography makes chronic overconsumption easy. Compared with erotica of the past it's so stimulating that, in some users, it produces addiction-related brain changes.

    Moreover, it's possible that those who develop HOCD may have brains that are particularly plastic for some reason. According to a Chinese study, those with OCD tendencies prior to exposure to the Internet face increased risk of addiction.
    In any event, a porn addict's brain can grow numb to normal pleasure even as it becomes hyper-reactive to select cues. Here's a guy describing a common progression, which is often reported by those who slip into porn-related HOCD:
    29 y/o with 17 years of MO (to softcore and imagination) and 12 years of masturbating, escalating to extreme/fetish porn. I started to lose interest in real sex. The build up and release from porn became stronger than it was from sex. Porn offers unlimited variety. I could choose what I want to see in the moment. My delayed ejaculation during sex became so bad that sometimes I couldn't orgasm at all. This killed my last desire to have sex.

    Classic sexual conditioning
    Once this degree of desensitization has set in, the stage is set for porn-related HOCD. Non-conforming porn violates expectations, releases more dopamine and norepinephrine than earlier porn genres, and furnishes the extra kick that fires up sluggish (addicted) reward circuitry. A user may begin to question why he can get off to fetish porn with transsexual/gay action yet not be attracted to real sex partners who aroused him in the past.
    His brain, however, automatically begins to wire its sexual response to this novel, stimulating genre—in a classic case of sexual conditioning. As explained in an earlier post, sexuality can be conditioned to most anything, even the smell of death, so it's not surprising that many of today's porn users report that their porn tastes morph all over the place as their pleasure response declines.
    Now, our user may find that he can only climax to his latest (and therefore most stimulating) genre. If it's one that he views as inconsistent with his underlying sexual orientation, the shock value is greater...and releases even more stimulating/anxiety-producing neurochemicals. His arousal is heightened, in part, by his own stress. Three guys describe their experience:
    First guy: I seriously thought I was turning gay. My HOCD was so strong at that time, I was contemplating taking a dive off the nearest high-rise. I felt so depressed. I knew I loved girls and I can't love another dude, but why did I have ED? Why did I need transsexual/gay stuff to jolt me into arousal?
    ...
    The users' desperation to understand whether their sexual orientation has suddenly changed can lead to constant, compulsive "testing" and other reassurance rituals. As with other varieties of OCD (including non-porn-related HOCD), the testing and searches for reassurance offer temporary relief. Each "test" reinforces the unwanted arousal—either with rewarding relief, or electrifying distress if the test fails. In this way, they reinforce the problematic triggers.
    ...
    But there's more going on at a biological level. The stress neurochemical cortisol can also heighten rewarding effects by triggering the release of dopamine. Eventually, brain changes can make someone hyper-responsive to stressful cues. Research confirms that extreme stress and drugs of abuse both increase the strength of related (addiction) brain pathways. Researchers believe cortisol thus plays a pivotal role in reward-related behavioral pathologies.
    The situation is akin to BDSM, where physical pain heightens a person's sexual buzz because of the effects on the brain. In HOCD sufferers, arousal and panic achieve a similar end. Bottom line: Despite intense emotional or physical discomfort, heightened arousal can make a behavior very hard to stop (addictive).
    The HOCD sufferer's brain has learned to obtain part of its reward from its own distress. Worse yet, when the sufferer tries to give up porn, his anxiety will naturally increase for an extended period. Withdrawal raises anxiety in all recovering addicts, fueling powerful cravings for more stimulation quite apart from HOCD concerns.
    For HOCD sufferers this predictable increase in anxiety tends to set off intense spikes (panics about orientation) and frantic "checking," often driving them back into addiction. Indeed, some report that their HOCD fears were trivial until they quit porn.
    As the addicted brain targets the strongest "fix" it can think of: panic+checking+sexual arousal to HOCD-related stimuli, straight feelings seem to evaporate.
    ...
    Those recovering report that if they can accept the intrusive HOCD thoughts without distress, they sidestep the neurochemical reinforcement of fear. In addition, they find it helpful to learn to live with uncertainty about their sexual orientation and to avoid all testing and efforts to "figure out the truth." That way they also stop the rewarding reinforcement of fleeting relief and "certainty."

    In other words, the HOCD sufferer needs to work on stopping stop three rewarding habits: Internet porn use, relief seeking and distress.

    One man's self-report

    This man's report is interesting because he began by weakening the porn reward, only to find that he hadn't dealt with the fear and relief (checking) rewards.

    I'm now over 3 months without porn, but I had sunk into a stupor of constantly checking various HOCD message boards. I was spending hours every day on those sites, sometimes checking them as much as several times an hour: at work, while I was driving, in bed at night, etc. etc. etc. Really bad 'checking behavior.' My brain was being rewarded when I would read something that reassured me, and it would fire up and freak out when I read something that spiked my anxiety.


    I had also expanded my checking onto other message boards, including gay and bisexual boards. This just perpetuated the spiral. I wasn't sleeping much on account of all my anxiety, and I wasn't really present in my life. I was either on these boards or worrying about what I read on them. Constantly. My relationship was suffering. Sometimes, alone at night, I would go on 2-3 hour binges of HOCD checking on internet message boards, and then feel awful afterward.


    I decided I would stop. My mate deserves someone who is present, not totally distracted. Since then, I have only had one 15-minute session, checking for replies. I've had to struggle to resist temptation, but the result is that I feel SO much better.

    It's really pretty remarkable. My HOCD has decreased significantly now that I am not constantly signaling to my brain "THESE HOCD THOUGHTS ARE IMPORTANT" by going on the boards and engaging in checking and reassurance. I hadn't read a book in months, but I'm now on my second one since I gave up the boards. My free time at night is now spent either with my girlfriend or reading by the fire. I'm sleeping a lot better.


    Yes, I still get the occasional spike when I see an attractive guy. And then from the checking with thoughts of him. But it's gotten to be a lot less, and that thought fades a lot faster.


    I now think that my HOCD may have been due to the fact that when I finally overdosed on PMO after years and years of it, I lost much of my attraction to real women. Without it women and men started to look the same to me, and BAM worries about being gay erupted.
     
  6. Clarkmr

    Clarkmr Member

    It's porn yo. I'm solidly homosexual, and as one commenter on here noted, I just always knew. When all the other boys starting talking about girls, I was clueless about them and was only noticing my boy friends in different ways. It's hard wired, at least for me.

    But here's the crazy ish. Years and years of too much PMO and I sort of kind of started to get interested in seeing straight porn. Scared the ever loving shit out of me (hahah). It was "taboo" and "unatural" for me to be interested in, and therefore, was extra stimulating on a neurological level.

    Relax. You aren't gay. And I'm not straight, PHEW. You just like novelty, like every other human being (and every other addict, especially).

    I'm 1 year and 5 days from last porn use, and I'm proud to say I havent thought about sex with a woman since LMAO.
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2018
  7. spoofy

    spoofy Active Member

    Dude best post in this entire forum.
    Mind blown, and sorry no means to disrespect but lolz were had too, keep it real :D
     
    Clarkmr likes this.
  8. Lightning

    Lightning Member

    The issue at hand (and this isn't unique to pornography use) is that in watching porn we can steer away from what is natural not only in content but in the way we think. So that by habit, through watching porn you can start to get excited by things you aren't truly drawn to, things that only remind of a rush or a kick. And because of the accompanying stress, you can't tell the difference or don't take the time to. Underneath whatever it is you're going through now there is something innocent and authentic. The challenge is in order to discover what that is you have to be completely open to whatever you'll find - yes, including that you're drawn to men if that be the case. It's quite possible for example that you really are straight and because that is so self evidently clear to you on some level you refuse to see otherwise - and because you refuse to see otherwise, you end up holding too tight, and you can't experience your simple attraction to women. I mean, if the straightest guy on Earth was standing in front of the most beautiful woman, but that man suddenly saw something horrifying was happening to him or a loved one - in those moments would he be aroused? This is pretty much what happens when one lashes himself over his (possible) sexuality and it's no wonder you can't feel something with a woman in such a trying moment.

    So, I would recommend working on this with someone (therapist, coach) if you're not already. You don't have to do it alone, and your reaching out does not diminish your part in healing. It's actually a great sign of your faith in yourself and the goodness of the world if you reach out. Because what's reaching out is something in you that's saying 'this can be different. This can be good.'

    As for the quote, you do not have to convince yourself of anything. You do not have to convince yourself you're not gay. You do not have to convince yourself you didn't do irreparable damage to your brain. What you have to do is self discovery. That's your mission. Be open. Convincing yourself will never satisfy you anyway and will only leave you stressed one way or another. Be vigilant too. Sometimes we jump to conclusions against ourselves as a form of self destruction. This is also where another set of eyes helps.

    All the best,

    -Lightning
     
  9. Clarkmr

    Clarkmr Member


    Haha none taken. I think it's hilarious too.


    To further add to this post, I want to anecdotally confirm what one of the other posters was saying about gay men NOT being attracted to trannies, whereas straight men are.

    So, Grindr is a gay hookup app like Tindr. Within the last 3-4 years --- coinciding with the rise in porn addiction, I might add --- Grindr has become FULL of straight guys who are looking exclusively to fuck trannies. I guess they think they can find them on an app for gay men? lol. But yeah. It's fascinating to me. All these bros who won't show their face, are in relationships with women, but have a "fantasy" to explore. Sounds like Porn addiction to me. I would say a good 15-20% of the profiles on my local grindr are these types of straight dudes. So, whoever posted that graph about men's sexuality earlier, spot on.
     
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  10. Drstrange

    Drstrange New Member

    How do u get hocd if you're gay, i would figure u would get socd if they even have a term for it.
     
  11. Clarkmr

    Clarkmr Member

    What is hocd again? educate me. Cause I'm thinking you're probably correct.
     
  12. Drstrange

    Drstrange New Member

    Who me?
    I was thinking like if u are really gay and attracted to men u wouldnt stress about maybe be depressed that u are or. Think that someone struggeling with it is more likely to once have a gay tought because of all the porn he has been watching. Porn is btw the gayest thing out there, u basically watch a dick entering a chick so i can understand dudes stressing that they are gay because every scene has at least one dick in it, or becomming insecure about his dicksize, last thing happend to me.
     
  13. Clarkmr

    Clarkmr Member


    Hahah I'm loling. "Porn is btw the gayest thing out there".


    hahahahah. omg. Hardly. And gay guys get insecure about dick size too. Some of the dicks in those porns are insane.
     
  14. spoofy

    spoofy Active Member

    It's actually not, there's a ted talk that explains it all.
    In a nutshell prehistoric men used to have (consented) gangbangs, so being turned on by it had evolutionary advantages.
    That's why men like seeing dick in porn, that's why straight men like transexual porn, and that's why we are so drown to porn in the first place.

    I linked it below, it blew my mind but makes perfect sense now

     
  15. clip11

    clip11 New Member

    I've watched porn since 2001 and have never went beyond lesbian porn and girls masturbating. I couldn't watch straight porn because of a penis being in it and the only time I have watched it was for educational purposes i.e. learning new things to do with a girl when I'm with her, but I've never got myself off to straight porn. Since Im strictly heterosexual, then I'm automatically turned off by the presence of a dick if I watch porn. If there was no lesbian porn, it would be nothing for me to give up porn.
     
  16. Fortune20

    Fortune20 Member

    Bro there more guys who have sexually experimented then u think ... U def know a straight guy or two who has done this as well ... Im heterosexual but i definitely have experimented wit transwomen and I enjoyed it ... Its 2018 bro if u feel like its no longer for u jus move forward but the worse thing u can do for ur OCD is beat urself about it ... Start a full reboot wit no orgasm, porn and masturbation involved for three months and u ll see those urges weaken if thats really wat u want ... Avoid readin stories, watchin vids about it ... No stimulus at all ... Thats wats been workin for me
     
  17. yourfriend

    yourfriend New Member

    friend,
    porn can cause various mental perversions, saying this from firsthand experience.
    explore 'inner engineering', just google it. this will help you. this helped me immensely over the last 1.5 years. transformed me completely, I could come out of porn and all the baggage that comes with it, felt inner joy for the first time in my life. All i would say spend some time evaluating it and find it for yourself.
    #UnplugWithSadhguru
    wish you the best.
    your friend
     

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