Cured of DE and PE, but trouble letting go of past experiences.

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by apc27, Nov 24, 2014.

  1. apc27

    apc27 New Member

    Hey all,

    Its been a while since I've been here and I'm thrilled to say I'm cured of DE and PIED. Abstinence from porn has cured both my anxiety and inability to orgasm and now I'm in what I hope is my perfect relationship. The only trouble is I'm having a hard time letting go of the guilt and shame of my past experiences; chiefly my inability to have orgasmed with partners without use of fantasy. I feel this has massively cheapened the connection I wanted to have with my past partners (but was the only way I could maintain normal relationships). One of these relationships was with a very dear friend of mine who I still see regularly and I feel very guilty (I didn't at the time, as I wasn't having "normal sex" per se and so the whole fantasy thing was just "normal" for me), as if by using fantasy to push me over the edge I was cheating on her somehow. I also have a hard time dealing with the resentment i have towards my parents who are partly responsible for these issues in the first place, and am sick of hating them for it and just want to get on with my life.Those of you who know me will know I have crippling OCD and so this may be exacerbating my feelings. I just want to make a new start and stop feeling so terrible. Well done to everyone trying here and wish every one of you makes the recovery I've been so lucky to have.
  2. boomboom

    boomboom New Member

    How long did it take for you to be cured and did you do anything else to make the transition easier?
  3. Whatu

    Whatu New Member

    Have you spoken too a therapist? I have done 3 sessions so far and I am enjoying exploring myself. Have allot of resentment issues like you.
  4. apc27

    apc27 New Member

    Its taken me over a period of 2 years since I discovered YBR. The biggest advice I can give is stay away from porn and MO, PERIOD. I was so rewired to lesbian porn that was all I could get off to. Staying away helps you refrain from fantasising and focus on the experience. Another key thing to remember is if you don't have a successful experience don't let it eat you up otherwise you get locked into an inescapable spiral, just relax and let things happen. Right now I average around 1 relapse every 3 weeks (though I'm trying to quit for good as relapses cause massive depression and dopamine hangovers, this isn't me saying you can still use porn in moderation). Good luck.

    Yes I started seeing a therapist but am still very closed off about my sexual dysfunction. I agree with you though it does help in other ways, I'm definitely on the road to full recovery :)

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