Hey all, Its been a while since I've been here and I'm thrilled to say I'm cured of DE and PIED. Abstinence from porn has cured both my anxiety and inability to orgasm and now I'm in what I hope is my perfect relationship. The only trouble is I'm having a hard time letting go of the guilt and shame of my past experiences; chiefly my inability to have orgasmed with partners without use of fantasy. I feel this has massively cheapened the connection I wanted to have with my past partners (but was the only way I could maintain normal relationships). One of these relationships was with a very dear friend of mine who I still see regularly and I feel very guilty (I didn't at the time, as I wasn't having "normal sex" per se and so the whole fantasy thing was just "normal" for me), as if by using fantasy to push me over the edge I was cheating on her somehow. I also have a hard time dealing with the resentment i have towards my parents who are partly responsible for these issues in the first place, and am sick of hating them for it and just want to get on with my life.Those of you who know me will know I have crippling OCD and so this may be exacerbating my feelings. I just want to make a new start and stop feeling so terrible. Well done to everyone trying here and wish every one of you makes the recovery I've been so lucky to have.