I can't remember when it started but I was young. During high school it virtually disappeared as I don't really remember looking at porn. Got married at 21 to an amazing woman. Things were great. Then a few years later we had kids and life become very stressful. So porn slowly crept into my life. It wasn't bad at first but as time went on it seemed to increase. These last three years it got out of control. Sadly after 24 years of marriage and my wife begging me to stop she finally gave up and filed for divorce 5 days ago. I understand her feelings but am crushed. It took her divorcing me to finally find help. Spent a lot of time yesterday listening to the Pornfree podcasts and reading this website and various others. For the first time I am starting to understand my addiction. I have a very low self-esteem due to a father who never said anything good about me but had plenty of criticism, bad body image, and stress. Went to church for the first time in a long while. Never felt I deserved Gods love because of this. I may not deserve it but I'm asking for it this time and am putting my life in his hands. I know this won't save my marriage as she has made it certain she is leaving so she can heal from the impact of this. I don't blame her. I know this is going to be a tough road but it is time to give it my all. Porn free day 5. I don't know where this road will lead but I pray for my wife's healing and my own.